10 Kid Snacks You’ll Eat Like A Rodent Scavenger

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Move over Guy Fieri, it’s me: a parent willing to devour any chunk of processed garbage I find in the crevices of the backseat of my minivan. Okay, I wouldn’t eat Crevice Snacks (at least not without a Food Network contract), but I have sampled – even enjoyed – a cornucopia of snacks a more sophisticated (aka, lame) adult would miss out on. Sometimes parenting is a tough gig, but if we’re being honest, the always-available snacks are a perk.

1 Fruit Snacks: Fruit's Very Distant Cousin

Here’s one of life’s great mysteries: Why are gummies in a plastic pouch a healthy snack, but once they take bear-form, they become candy? Who cares?! Give me all the red ones or you’re grounded.

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2 Lunchables, For When You're Lunch-unable.

Me at the grocery store: Why would I spend $3 on some weird meat and crackers and a heap of plastic when I could make this myself so easily.

Me at home, reaching for my kid’s Lunchable at midnight: It would ruin my life to cut up meat and cheese and open a sleeve of crackers right now.

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3 Liquid Sugar In A Pouch

I don’t know why sugar water tastes so much better sucked through a straw out of a foil pouch, but I’ll slam a whole box of these at your summer barbecue. 12 come in a box, 1 for each of my kids and 10 for me.

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4 Granola Bars AKA Hanger Stavers

Granola bars are one of those snacks we buy for kids because the word granola is healthy, and we’re happy to ignore that the granola is held together with what is essentially glue made out of high fructose corn syrup. Anyway, these babies come in CLUTCH when you’re on a family outing and the Hanger kicks in.

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5 I love the fishes because they're so readily available.

Let’s be real, these are not so delicious. If you enjoy chewing on cardboard with a vaguely cheesy aftertaste that lingers for hours, good for you. For the rest of us, we eat goldfish crackers because, if we don’t, they’ll end up ground up in the carpet.

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6 NUGGETS

As an adult with high cholesterol, I try not to eat fast food; but as a parent, it is my privilege, NAY, MY RIGHT, to freely take from my kids’ kid’s meals. We’ve been ordering the 6-piece McNugget Happy Meal for awhile but my son still thinks it’s 4-piece. Please do not tell him. Honorable mention to the french fries at the bottom of the bag which are all for me and whose calories stop counting once they fall out of their little fry bag.

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7 Gimme Some Of Your Tots

My kids won’t laugh at my Napoleon Dynamite tots voice, and as punishment I eat all their tots. I don’t know why potatoes in other shapes are grown up and these thick potato cylinders are just for kids, but I’m thankful I’m a parent so I have tot access (and someone to carry on my legacy or whatever – but mostly the tots).

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8 Hunks Of Cheese

When I’m tired of processed pantry snacks I reach into the cheese drawer for one or two or three of these. More often though, I’m mindlessly devouring a half-eaten string cheese I find on the corner of the coffee table, sweaty and warm from the hours its spent abandoned there.

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9 My Daily Dose Of Calcium And Vitamin D

Drinking a children’s drink out of a tiny cup doesn’t make you any less of a man. You can keep your whiskey neat, give me a damn glass of ice cold chocolate milk and I will drink that shit until I get a belly ache.

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10 Kid Cereal? More Like Late Night Cereal

I can’t eat my kid’s cereal in the morning. I’m not diabetic but that amount of sugar early in the day will put me in a diabetic coma. But you know late at night I’m up in the pantry pouring Coco Puffs, Lucky Charms, or Cinnamon Toast Crunch into the largest mixing bowl I can find, only to play dumb in the morning when my kid asks why there’s only bottom-of-the-box cereal powder left.

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Before you side eye me, remember: Judge not, lest ye be judged. Let he who has not scooped a bite of cold mac ‘n’ cheese with hot dogs out of a plastic bowl left out on the counter for a few hours after dinner cast the first stone. Admit it, you’ve had all these snacks and sometimes you even liked them. One day our kids will move out and we’ll be faced with the dilemma of whether we buy this shit for ourselves or not. Until then, we’ll just have to keep sampling all of our kid’s snacks to… uhh… make sure it’s not poisonous.

Son Surprises Ailing Dad With Tickets To College World Series

Father’s Day is a special time to celebrate your old man, and show him how much you appreciate the role he’s played in your life all these years. Especially since, as we get older, our dads do too, and they may not have many Father’s Days left.

Matt Lea recognized that this Father’s Day, and so went out of his way to make it a memorable one, for both him and his father, both former college baseball players who bonded over the game as Matt was growing up.

Matt’s father Billy suffers from Alzheimer’s Disease, and the symptoms have been accruing rapidly. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t time for more memories, and Matt used the latest Father’s Day as an opportunity to do just that. The 36-year-old drove 12 hours, from Florida to Mississippi, and surprised his parents at their doorstep on Sunday.

He was bearing gifts as well, bringing his dad the jersey of his favorite baseball team, Mississippi State. But that wasn’t all. Matt brought tickets too, to see the College World Series in Omaha in person.

In video of the exchange that Matt posted on Twitter, his dad was clearly taken by surprise.

“I figured it’s probably not good enough just for us to watch the game here,” Matt says in the video as he produces the tickets. “How about we go to Omaha? Do you want to go up to Omaha and watch the College World Series together?”

“Golly,” an emotional Billy responds. “You’re gonna break my heart, here.”

Matt’s gift for his dad received a rapturous response from Twitter, where it’s been liked 46,000 times and retweeted 11,000 times.

Matt seemed as surprised by the response as his dad was by the gift, as everyone who celebrated Father’s Day yesterday knows, there’s nothing better than sharing meaningful memories with your dad, which is exactly what Matt did. An article on Omaha.com details Billy’s baseball past, the initial diagnosis of his Alzheimer’s, the VIP experience Matt treated him too over the weekend.

Matt’s Twitter account showcased the rest.

Happy Father’s Day!

Amazing Street Artist Uses Everyday Objects As His Canvas

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Artist Tom Bob doesn’t see the world like other people. Where you and I might see sewer grates or metal pipes, he sees ghosts and saxophone players.

Check out some of the amazing ways he’s transforming parts of New York City into works of art.

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Check out more of Tom Bob and his unique artwork here.

Father Figures: Heroes

“On February 2, 2011, my daughter was born. The whole thing started pretty normally about 2:30 am or so, my wife woke me up and said, ‘Honey, it is time to go,’ so we went to the hospital in a snowstorm.

That was the easy part.

When they put the belly monitor on her they noticed that the babies heart rate would drop to low whenever my wife would have a contraction. She needed emergency C-section, but the doctor could not make it due to the storm, and when he finally arrived it was rush rush rush!
Well when my daughter Emily did arrive, she had internal bleeding throughout her body, which included two grade 4 brain bleeds. We could not touch her because she would bruise and start bleeding.
They had to life-flight her to the university, where she spent 5 1/2 weeks in the NICU, which left her (you may want to sit down) deaf/blind, with hydrocephalus, a shunt, cerebral palsy, and seizures (at age 6, she needed a baclofen pump because her CP got too bad to handle without it). She is doing great today. She is happy, loves life, and everyone who meets her says that she makes their day and she is beautiful.
To pay back our little community, I became a first responder, mostly a firefighter, but I did help with EMS. Never got my certification, but that is where I found out that in the U.S. we do not have any training for first responders to deal with children with special needs.
I have made it my personal mission to teach first responders about kids with special needs.
I have taken to Emily to every EMS/Fire station in the five counties around me. I have taken her to the police and sheriff’s departments to train them, and now I have a waiting list to get trained.
I don’t know if I am the hero here, but I needed to tell the story.”

– Mike Kuyper

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Low Cost Cosplay Guy Makes The World A Better Place

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Anucha “Cha” Saengchart, the genius behind “Low Cost Cosplay,” has amassed millions of followers with his incredible reimaginings of famous fictional characters.

Whether you’re planning on portraying your favorite anime character or a Marvel superhero, this guy can show you how to do it effectively and on a string budget.

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Can’t get enough? Check out more creative cosplay on his Facebook page.

Dad Turns Photos Of Daughter Into Kickass Album Covers

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When graphic designer Ryan Foster spotted a somber, black and white photo of his daughter, Harper Lou, it instantly reminded him of a blues album cover. He couldn’t help but throw some graphics onto the image to create her first “album” cover himself.

This has led to a series of album covers featuring Harper Lou, many of which look pretty damn legit. She may not be making actual records yet, but her dad will definitely be ready when she does.

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You can find more awesome album covers as well as other design projects by Ryan on his Instagram.

The 5 Hottest Father’s Day Tech Gifts Your Dad Will Ask To See The Receipt For

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Mother’s Day is in the rearview and our annual celebration of everything Dad is fast approaching. Sure, he loved those grilling tongs and Three Stooges boxsets you got him last year. But if there’s one things all dads love, it’s being assured that they’ve genetically passed on their cheapness. Here are 5 Father’s Day gadgets your dad is definitely going to demand the receipt for.

1. A smart speaker

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Source: Amazon

These have become relatively expensive in recent years. This, of course, isn’t going to stop your dad from assuming it set you back several thousand dollars. Your dad just figured out how to make a Facebook profile. He’s gonna need a minute on talking AI servants.

2. A streaming stick

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“So yeah, you just plug this Roku stick into the TV and you can pretty much watch anything you want.” That’s you. That’s you telling your dad you just spent a boatload of money on a piece of technology. “Instant access to every movie ever made” is your dad’s cue to ask you to retrieve the Best Buy receipt crammed in the console’s cupholder.

3. A dashcam

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Source: Amazon

These are great to have in the event of an accident. Unfortunately, your dad is still under the impression it’s 1999 and all digital cameras cost ten million dollars. Be sure to keep this receipt in your wallet, because this thing’s going right back to the store if it ran you how much he thinks it ran you.

4. An e-reader

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Source: Amazon

What a lovely thought. Your dad, sitting up in bed, every book he could possibly want at his fingertips. What will he read first? A book about World War II? The biography of Henry Ford? The answer is, of course, the receipt for this fancy reading tablet that probably set you back three mortgage payments.

5. A yearly-subscription to a music streaming service

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Source: Spotify

You just want him to be able to listen to the Doobie Brothers whenever he wants. But by his math, if buying a single song on iTunes costs $1, and Spotifly, as he calls it, gives you access to over four million songs, you’ve essentially just bankrupted your family. Good job. Be sure to keep that receipt handy to prove to him that he can still see his grandkids attend college one day.