11 Things Stranger Than Stranger Things

stranger things
(Getty/retales botijero)

1 The fact that geese have teeth

This is one of those things that we are all so familiar with that it doesn’t FEEL strange to us anymore. But let me assure you, that it is strange as hell. Why do they have them? It’s unnecessary, it’s intimidating, and quite frankly it makes me sick.

2 The career of Sean Combs

Why does he have to change his name so often? Admit it. It’s strange isn’t it?

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3 The fact that Flava Flav wore a gigantic clock as a necklace

Are we seriously meant to ignore that, are you kidding me?

4 People who haven’t read Harry Potter

Are you kidding me? Where have you been, you lunatic?

5 Benedict Cumberbatch

Benedict Cumberbatch
(GIphy)

6 Celebrities born after the year 2000

How are they even walking and talking already? It feels like a con, to me.

7 When one of your muscles twitches for no reason

Ahhh! It’s so weird! Why is it doing it?! Scientists are baffled, and have admitted they “will never find out.” What a mystery.

8 Foot fetishists

If feet don’t repulse you, you are, legally speaking, a freak.

9 Death

Ooooooh, spooky, right?

10 People who don’t have smartphones

“Press a button”? “Press.”? “A.”? “Button”? It’s 2017 you disgusting animal. I would rather throw myself down a flight of stairs than hear a polyphonic ringtone.

Clueless
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11 When your aunt adds you on Facebook

You got to grow up in a world where you could avoid family easily if you wanted. Why are you trying to take that away from me?

12 The fact that the editor of thedad.com hasn’t seen Stranger Things, and wanted more than 11 things in this list, even though it’s a reference to the show

Get it together, Joel. I’m not changing the title.

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13 That God and Santa are ALWAYS watching

Pretty upsetting when you think about it.

14 Gender inequality

“I wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for an angel of a woman carrying me for nine months and nurturing me during my formative years, but you deserve less money than me, sugar.”

15 The letter “W”

Couldn’t be bothered to name it properly, and even with the laziest naming they picked a U instead of the wildly more appropriate V.

16 Mick Foley

Remember when he used to stick a sock in a guy’s mouth to choke him out? That was messed up.

Mick Foley
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17 Ear stretchers

My friend’s ear got stretched too much as a teen and now it won’t go back, and her lobe just hangs there all baggy and disgusting. It stinks if you put your finger in it.

18 Marilyn Manson

It’s weird to think that one of the most controversial bands of their generation began life with the name “The Spooky Kids”. I wonder if Velma played bass for them?

19 Marilyn Manson again

And while we’re on the subject, Marilyn Manson’s real name is Brian.

Marilyn Manson
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20 Bats

Not in a bad way, but they are strange, admit it.

21 Urinals

nope
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22 “The best thing since sliced bread”

What I want to know is: what was the best thing before that? Gruel? The plague? Racism?

23 The clitoris

Where the hell even is that thing?!

24 When people back their car into parking spaces

I hate those people.

25 People with eyes that are different colours

Purely from a scientific perspective, it’s super rare and super interesting and, as a result, strange.

26 The moon

27 Goofy

Why isn’t he mad that his best friend has enslaved someone of his species and keeps him as a pet? That’s some disturbing shit.

28 Sacha Baron Cohen married Isla Fisher

Mathematically speaking, something doesn’t seem right about that.

Isla Fisher
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29 The 8 richest men in the world own half of the world’s wealth

What’s that? We could solve the famine crisis in Africa? Sorry I need another yacht. American Dream, baby.

30 Busta Rhymes’ real name is Trevor Smith

Trevor. Smith.

WTF
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Artist Wife Illustrates The Drastic Ways Her Husband’s Life Changed After Kids

(Facebook/MessycowComics)

Chen Weng, an illustrator who goes by the name The Messycow, has created a series of comics showing just how much things change when one becomes a father.

Which do you relate to most?

(Facebook/MesscowComics)
(Facebook/MesscowComics)
(Facebook/MesscowComics)
(Facebook/MesscowComics)
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(Facebook/MesscowComics)
(Facebook/MesscowComics)

Check out more from this series on The Messycow’s Facebook page and website.

Dad Dinosaur: Prehistoric Reunion

Dad Dinosaur’s high school reunion is fast approaching, but will he be able to win the big dance contest – or are his moves stuck in the past?

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Father Figures: Risky Business

“As the garage door closed behind me, I heard a muffled whimper.

“What is that?” I wondered. Another whimper and I noticed eight fingers on the lid of one of the garbage cans in the corner. I spy a set of eyes, then a nose and finally my oldest son’s face.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

“What happened? Where is your brother?” No answers, just sobbing.

He moped toward the door and I followed him into the kitchen. I half-expected to see CSI investigators hovering over a chalk outline.

We walked around the corner by the refrigerator, and only then did I see his brother and allow myself to take my first breath. Then I saw a hole in the drywall the size of a young boy’s torso.

They had been running & sliding, in their stocking feet, across the marbled kitchen floor. Obviously a bit too exuberantly! I was relieved that they were both okay, but I still mustered enough anger to quash any future escapades.

Each blamed the other, of course. I used to say I couldn’t always tell when my kids were lying, but I could always tell when they were telling the truth.

If that makes any sense to you, I’m guessing you’ve raised at least two boys.”

  • Ron Fuller

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Son Surprises Ailing Dad With Tickets To College World Series

Father’s Day is a special time to celebrate your old man, and show him how much you appreciate the role he’s played in your life all these years. Especially since, as we get older, our dads do too, and they may not have many Father’s Days left.

Matt Lea recognized that this Father’s Day, and so went out of his way to make it a memorable one, for both him and his father, both former college baseball players who bonded over the game as Matt was growing up.

Matt’s father Billy suffers from Alzheimer’s Disease, and the symptoms have been accruing rapidly. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t time for more memories, and Matt used the latest Father’s Day as an opportunity to do just that. The 36-year-old drove 12 hours, from Florida to Mississippi, and surprised his parents at their doorstep on Sunday.

He was bearing gifts as well, bringing his dad the jersey of his favorite baseball team, Mississippi State. But that wasn’t all. Matt brought tickets too, to see the College World Series in Omaha in person.

In video of the exchange that Matt posted on Twitter, his dad was clearly taken by surprise.

“I figured it’s probably not good enough just for us to watch the game here,” Matt says in the video as he produces the tickets. “How about we go to Omaha? Do you want to go up to Omaha and watch the College World Series together?”

“Golly,” an emotional Billy responds. “You’re gonna break my heart, here.”

Matt’s gift for his dad received a rapturous response from Twitter, where it’s been liked 46,000 times and retweeted 11,000 times.

Matt seemed as surprised by the response as his dad was by the gift, as everyone who celebrated Father’s Day yesterday knows, there’s nothing better than sharing meaningful memories with your dad, which is exactly what Matt did. An article on Omaha.com details Billy’s baseball past, the initial diagnosis of his Alzheimer’s, the VIP experience Matt treated him too over the weekend.

Matt’s Twitter account showcased the rest.

Happy Father’s Day!

Amazing Street Artist Uses Everyday Objects As His Canvas

(Twitter/tombobnyc)

Artist Tom Bob doesn’t see the world like other people. Where you and I might see sewer grates or metal pipes, he sees ghosts and saxophone players.

Check out some of the amazing ways he’s transforming parts of New York City into works of art.

(Twitter/tombobnyc)
(Twitter/tombobnyc)
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(Twitter/tombobnyc)
(Twitter/tombobnyc)
(Twitter/tombobnyc)
(Twitter/tombobnyc)
(Twitter/tombobnyc)

Check out more of Tom Bob and his unique artwork here.

Father Figures: Heroes

“On February 2, 2011, my daughter was born. The whole thing started pretty normally about 2:30 am or so, my wife woke me up and said, ‘Honey, it is time to go,’ so we went to the hospital in a snowstorm.

That was the easy part.

When they put the belly monitor on her they noticed that the babies heart rate would drop to low whenever my wife would have a contraction. She needed emergency C-section, but the doctor could not make it due to the storm, and when he finally arrived it was rush rush rush!
Well when my daughter Emily did arrive, she had internal bleeding throughout her body, which included two grade 4 brain bleeds. We could not touch her because she would bruise and start bleeding.
They had to life-flight her to the university, where she spent 5 1/2 weeks in the NICU, which left her (you may want to sit down) deaf/blind, with hydrocephalus, a shunt, cerebral palsy, and seizures (at age 6, she needed a baclofen pump because her CP got too bad to handle without it). She is doing great today. She is happy, loves life, and everyone who meets her says that she makes their day and she is beautiful.
To pay back our little community, I became a first responder, mostly a firefighter, but I did help with EMS. Never got my certification, but that is where I found out that in the U.S. we do not have any training for first responders to deal with children with special needs.
I have made it my personal mission to teach first responders about kids with special needs.
I have taken to Emily to every EMS/Fire station in the five counties around me. I have taken her to the police and sheriff’s departments to train them, and now I have a waiting list to get trained.
I don’t know if I am the hero here, but I needed to tell the story.”

– Mike Kuyper

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Low Cost Cosplay Guy Makes The World A Better Place

(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)

Anucha “Cha” Saengchart, the genius behind “Low Cost Cosplay,” has amassed millions of followers with his incredible reimaginings of famous fictional characters.

Whether you’re planning on portraying your favorite anime character or a Marvel superhero, this guy can show you how to do it effectively and on a string budget.

(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
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(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)

Can’t get enough? Check out more creative cosplay on his Facebook page.