11 Things Stranger Than Stranger Things

stranger things
(Getty/retales botijero)

1 The fact that geese have teeth

This is one of those things that we are all so familiar with that it doesn’t FEEL strange to us anymore. But let me assure you, that it is strange as hell. Why do they have them? It’s unnecessary, it’s intimidating, and quite frankly it makes me sick.

2 The career of Sean Combs

Why does he have to change his name so often? Admit it. It’s strange isn’t it?

(Giphy)

3 The fact that Flava Flav wore a gigantic clock as a necklace

Are we seriously meant to ignore that, are you kidding me?

4 People who haven’t read Harry Potter

Are you kidding me? Where have you been, you lunatic?

5 Benedict Cumberbatch

Benedict Cumberbatch
(GIphy)

6 Celebrities born after the year 2000

How are they even walking and talking already? It feels like a con, to me.

7 When one of your muscles twitches for no reason

Ahhh! It’s so weird! Why is it doing it?! Scientists are baffled, and have admitted they “will never find out.” What a mystery.

8 Foot fetishists

If feet don’t repulse you, you are, legally speaking, a freak.

9 Death

Ooooooh, spooky, right?

10 People who don’t have smartphones

“Press a button”? “Press.”? “A.”? “Button”? It’s 2017 you disgusting animal. I would rather throw myself down a flight of stairs than hear a polyphonic ringtone.

Clueless
(Giphy)

11 When your aunt adds you on Facebook

You got to grow up in a world where you could avoid family easily if you wanted. Why are you trying to take that away from me?

12 The fact that the editor of thedad.com hasn’t seen Stranger Things, and wanted more than 11 things in this list, even though it’s a reference to the show

Get it together, Joel. I’m not changing the title.

11
(Giphy)

13 That God and Santa are ALWAYS watching

Pretty upsetting when you think about it.

14 Gender inequality

“I wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for an angel of a woman carrying me for nine months and nurturing me during my formative years, but you deserve less money than me, sugar.”

15 The letter “W”

Couldn’t be bothered to name it properly, and even with the laziest naming they picked a U instead of the wildly more appropriate V.

16 Mick Foley

Remember when he used to stick a sock in a guy’s mouth to choke him out? That was messed up.

Mick Foley
(Giphy)

17 Ear stretchers

My friend’s ear got stretched too much as a teen and now it won’t go back, and her lobe just hangs there all baggy and disgusting. It stinks if you put your finger in it.

18 Marilyn Manson

It’s weird to think that one of the most controversial bands of their generation began life with the name “The Spooky Kids”. I wonder if Velma played bass for them?

19 Marilyn Manson again

And while we’re on the subject, Marilyn Manson’s real name is Brian.

Marilyn Manson
(Giphy)

20 Bats

Not in a bad way, but they are strange, admit it.

21 Urinals

nope
(Giphy)

22 “The best thing since sliced bread”

What I want to know is: what was the best thing before that? Gruel? The plague? Racism?

23 The clitoris

Where the hell even is that thing?!

24 When people back their car into parking spaces

I hate those people.

25 People with eyes that are different colours

Purely from a scientific perspective, it’s super rare and super interesting and, as a result, strange.

26 The moon

27 Goofy

Why isn’t he mad that his best friend has enslaved someone of his species and keeps him as a pet? That’s some disturbing shit.

28 Sacha Baron Cohen married Isla Fisher

Mathematically speaking, something doesn’t seem right about that.

Isla Fisher
(Giphyt)

29 The 8 richest men in the world own half of the world’s wealth

What’s that? We could solve the famine crisis in Africa? Sorry I need another yacht. American Dream, baby.

30 Busta Rhymes’ real name is Trevor Smith

Trevor. Smith.

WTF
(Giphy)

Father and Son Escape Burning Truck in the Nick of Time

(News Channel Nebraska)

19-year old Minnesota man Kobe Sammons drove 500 miles to visit his family in Nebraska. When he arrived he told to his father, Jeremy, that his ride just wasn’t running right. So his dad hopped in the truck and the two went for a drive in hopes of discovering what the problem was.

A short while later they pulled over when Jeremy noticed smoke had entered the cabin of the truck. The smoke quickly turned to heat and it became apparent the engine compartment was on fire.

That’s when both men attempted to open their doors but they would not unlock.

The father wondered if this would be their final moments together.

“I told him he would have to break the glass or kick the door open. I couldn’t help him.” the elder Sammons told News Channel Nebraska.

But eventually Kobe was able to kick the door open.

“It was in those moments. Just when it had to open, the door opened.” Kobe’s dad said.

By the time firefighters arrived the truck was completely engulfed in flames. Authorities on the scene considered that the fire may have caused the doors’ unlocking mechanism to malfunction.

The truck can easily be replaced, the important thing is that this father and son duo escaped unharmed.

75-Year-Old Volunteer Literally Takes Catnaps at Animal Shelter

(Facebook/Safe Haven Pet Sanctuary Inc.)

If you’re a cat lover you’ll probably agree that 75-year-old Wisconsinite Terry Lauerman is living the dream. He spends most days volunteering at his local animal shelter snoozing with cats.

Lauerman begins his day at Safe Haven Pet Sanctuary where he brushes any cat that needs it, then ends up catching a few z’s with his feline friends. The cats and staff at the shelter love the service Lauerman provides and so do thousands of others because of a viral Facebook post about him.

Elizabeth Feldhausen, the founder of Safe Haven Pet Sanctuary, told The Huffington Post that Lauerman never signed up to be a volunteer but just showed up one day, armed with a cat brush and dream to help some kitties.

“He just walked in and started brushing,” Feldhausen said. “So eventually we told him he was an official volunteer and had him fill out our volunteer form.”

(Facebook/Safe Haven Pet Sanctuary Inc.)

Safe Haven is a cage-free, no-kill shelter aimed at rehabilitating cats with special needs who would likely be euthanized elsewhere. Feldhausen says Lauerman usually comes in for about three hours every day—he’ll start by brushing a cat but usually ends up dozing off.

“He sleeps for about an hour, then he’ll wake up and switch cats,”

The cats aren’t the only ones benefitting from his visits, though. “He said, [the brushing is] as great of an experience for him, as it is for them,” said Feldhausen.

(Facebook/Safe Haven Pet Sanctuary Inc.)

The post about Lauerman has received tons of positive attention and according to Feldhausen, they’ve received about $20,000 in donations since the post went viral.

While Lauerman is happy to have brought so much attention to Safe Haven, he wants people to know that there are plenty of other volunteers that put in hours of hard work to make sure the cats are loved and cared for.

Unlike them, however, Lauerman can do it in his sleep.

Father Figures: So Be It

“My money is tight living here in Silicon Valley.

My daughters are both really smart and take advanced classes, which takes a shit load of money for tests, materials and such. I too play the ‘money is tight’ card around holidays and birthdays, but I work my ass off and find side jobs. As many as I can to make sure they have the best day possible on those special occasions.

If that means not buying myself anything for the rest of my life, so be it.

They always come first, and I believe they will appreciate the struggles later on in life, and they’ll be better off for it.”

– Mauro Hernandez

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Dad’s Panoramic Photo of Daughter Goes Horribly Wrong and Viral

(Twitter/sc_x_cs)

With new phones constantly boasting advancements in camera technology, it’s no wonder some people have trouble keeping up—dads in particular.

Just ask 21-year-old Twitter user Simran. She recently came to terms with the fact that her father is a bit more technologically-challenged than she realized.

Here’s how Simran appears when she’s directing the photo shoot:

While on vacation her dad attempted to snap a unique picture of her. He insisted on trying out his iPhone X’s panoramic photo mode. As you probably expect, the photo didn’t turn out quite as planned.

“My dad told me to stand by the apples because he said he discovered a new way to take pano pics vertically,” Simran told Mashable. “I agreed to it and this was the result.”

“When he saw them he said ‘they look great’ and then I saw them and completely lost it. I mean, are you kidding me? I look like an Alien,” she said.

A number of people chimed in and made fun comparisons to some pretty unflattering images.

Clearly, Simran has been a good sport and we commend her dad for a bold attempt at harnessing advanced photo technology. But perhaps he should stick with the old fashioned point-and-shoot method from now on?