Are you tired from the non-stop pandemonium that is parenting? Can’t seem to catch break? Do you ever catch a glance of your bedraggled face in the mirror and think, ‘There’s gotta be a better way!’
Well, today’s your lucky day! We’ve rounded up some of the best parenting hacks Twitter has to offer, so whether you’re trying to clean up yet another mess or simply looking for a moment’s peace, these gems should help you out. . . or at least provide a funny distraction while everything around you descends further into chaos.
Achievement Unlocked: On time for the bus for once
Parenting Tip: If your teenager has a hard time waking up to go to school, just let him stay awake all night playing video games so he's already awake when school starts.
— Goats? (@Gooooats) March 12, 2018
What's the worst that could happen?
Parenting hack: never give the school nurse your real number.
— not the WORST mom ???? (@nottheworstmom) February 26, 2018
I deserve this.
Parenting hack: put yourself on time out.
— Mr. Onederful® (@ericonederful) November 18, 2017
That's some Ocean's Eleven-type shit.
So I’m sitting on the sofa with my son watching TV and he hears he got a text on his phone that he left in the kitchen so he goes to get his phone and it’s a text from me, “please bring the chips and a Diet Pepsi on your way back”.
— Swedish Canary (@SwedishCanary) February 1, 2018
Whoever annoys me less, wins!
Parenting hack: turn everything into a race. My 4yos both just got dressed in under 50 seconds.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) September 21, 2014
If you call it a "cleanse," it's perfectly legal.
Kids will eat their vegetables if you only feed them every other day. More parenting tips on my blog
— Dumb Beezie (@dumbbeezie) November 14, 2017
The fun lasts for an afternoon, but the rabies lasts for the rest of your life.
Parenting tip: Add a new level of excitement to your child's birthday party bounce house by throwing four live raccoons into the mix.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) May 24, 2018
Again?? Shucks, maybe tomorrow, buddy.
Savage Parenting Hack: tell ur kids the music from the ice cream truck means they’re out of ice cream.
— Jewy Jewerstein (@Jewerstein) April 4, 2018
Rules are rules.
MacGyver: Sad Edition
Parenting Life Hack: if you use your tears as lubricant, those little produce stickers come off your hardwood floors more easily.
— 〰 Just Linda 〰 (@LindaInDisguise) September 11, 2015
No, this is mommy and daddy's SPECIAL lemonade.
Mom hack: When your kids don't finish their lemonade, make margaritas.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) June 11, 2017
Boom. Problem(s) solved.
Let your kids pick their own punishments. And also let them feed themselves. And drive themselves around. Don't have kids.
— Jake Vig (@Jake_Vig) April 4, 2017