Being smack in the middle of the summer means, on most clear nights, you can catch that intoxicating and delicious scent of grilled meat wafting through the air. And, somehow, it’s free. No charge whatsoever.
Dads everywhere are grabbing their good tongs and filling up their propane tanks to prove they have the chops to man the daddest cooking appliance out there, and the world is better for it.
So whether you swear by charcoal or gas, here are 12 scrumptious tweets about grill season that will get those tastebuds tingling.
My goth neighbor Gary is standing naked in his backyard grilling vegan burgers and listening to Slipknot and the cops won't arrest him
— Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) August 10, 2017
Happy Father's Day.
Growing up we’d always spend this day the same. Dad and I would have a catch, after a country breakfast featuring bloody marys. He’d throw a few back while grilling up some burgers for lunch. At night he’d get a DUI on the riding mower and we’d bail him out. Sunday’s were special
Don't get caught wearing lesser jorts.
Last year my family gave me jean shorts that didn't have a hammer loop so I had to hold my grill tongs in my hand all summer like a loser.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 17, 2017
It's an art, not a science.
How do u know when the steaks are done grilling, dad?
I just know, son.
How about a meat thermome-
HOW ABOUT NO NERD SCIENCE ON MY GRILL
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) September 14, 2015
A truly bipartisan issue.
Grilling hamburgers where I can smell them but not offering me any hamburgers is technically a hate crime.
— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) October 10, 2016
*all the dads in the crowd jumping around, just losing their minds*
cause baby now we've got
I'm grilling burgers and
we got white nikes and
cause baby now we've got dad bods [hey!]
— Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) July 29, 2016
Another unrealistic beauty standard.
women's magazines are full of articles announcing what's sexy but its hardly ever crosshatch grill marks so I guess idk what sexy is
— Meth Lab for Cutie (@kiralc) June 22, 2015
Do whatever it takes to make him squawk.
ME: We're all out of beef
CHEF: In that case, I need you to grill the chicken
ME [rolling sleeves up] you think that little shit knows something?
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) January 10, 2018
Has technology gone too far?
Son: I'm gonna go fire up the grill
Me: do you know how to start the grill?
Son: I'm not stupid dad. Alexa, start the grill
— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) September 19, 2017
I can feel my blood pressure rising...
Imagine falling in love with someone and finding out they grill hot dogs vertically, so they get grill marks along their length.
— Dave Cactus (@dave_cactus) November 15, 2016
Open and shut case.
My grill ran out of gas before I finished the steaks and a judge immediately appeared to grant my wife a divorce and give her full custody of the kids.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) June 17, 2018
The daddest tweet of them all.
My grill tries to burn me because it's pro-pain.
— Steve vs Ninjas (@stevevsninjas) January 28, 2017