16 Superhero Tweets To The Rescue!

By Sky Crom

Maybe you’re finally at a point in your life where you don’t cry because you never developed magic powers, but some of us still haven’t gotten over the terrible slight of being normal human people. The boss probably frowns upon crying at work, though, so it’s best to mask our sadness with laughter. Here are 16 hilarious tweets about superheroes that might get you through another day.

1 If you’ve got it, you can’t flaunt it

*school reunion*
Guy: Reporter is cool I spose. I became a doctor so I could actually help people ya know
Clark Kent: *fist clenched* mmm hm

— Rollman (@Rollmaninoz) December 14, 2015

2 Authenticity is pain

Little kid dressed as Batman walking around with his alive parents. Fucking poser.

— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) November 1, 2016

3 Do they give out giant muscle guy scholarships?

I'd be far more impressed with He-Man if he went all the way and got his doctorate of the universe.

— Pete Mandik (@petemandik) September 4, 2015

4 There are unexpected drawbacks to being exceptional

*Magneto flapping his wrist frantically, trying to shake loose a fork stuck to his hand*

— batkaren (@batkaren) August 1, 2015

5 The most super ways to relax

Being Batman would be cool cuz of the dark cave to nap in, but if I was Spider-Man I could make myself a hammock whenever I wanted.

— Tragic Ally (@TragicAllyHere) February 15, 2016

6 He should have spent more time on disguises

Clark Kent (deciding on super hero name): hmmm… *crosses "bird man" and "plane man" off the list*

— Rads, not spooky (@FeelingEuphoric) August 7, 2017

7 Honestly? This makes me like Catwoman even more

[Catwoman’s Lair]
Robin: I hear someone.
Batman: Lets's hide in this sandpit.
{5 min later}
R: This is a litter box isn't it?
B: I think so.

— Todd 'Papi' Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) February 11, 2015

8 Poor lil guy

[Spider-Man shows up at my house]
*I carefully scoop him up on a piece of paper and release him outside my door*

— hogvember (@malt_skull) June 23, 2015

9 Redundancy is a crucial part of heroism

*He-Man at table read*
"By the power of Greyskull, I have the- hang on-
*pointing to script*
should it say 'power' again here?"

— ceeks (@70Ceeks) October 15, 2015

10 The night can’t take a joke

KID: Oh snap! The Batmobile's tailgating our school bus!
[Batman voice over megaphone]: WHOEVER SAID I SMELL IS GONNA GET FUCKED UP

— Mark Pfennig (@mark_pfennig) October 2, 2015

11 Sometimes you just want a little romance

Me: while you're up there let's do a Spider-Man kiss
My dental hygienist: still no

— KeanuReevesVEVO (@sug_knight) February 27, 2017

12 Getting good tips from bad guys

Criminal: What are you, some sorta…Daredevil?!

*Blindy McJustice has an incredible epiphany*

— Elvish Presley (@_ElvishPresley_) August 19, 2017

13 Now that’s just upsetting

wolverine, but his claws are just extra fingers

— gorilla & wizard (@trojansauce) November 15, 2015

14 We all wish we had this excuse

[Date]
Batman: Damn! The city needs me!

Her: That's not the bat signal

Batman..

H:You're doing shadow puppets on the wall with your hands

— Frank Whitehouse (@WheelTod) October 29, 2017

15 Online Dating is tough for tough guys

Date: You don't look anything like your profile picture

Incredible Hulk: THE BUS WAS LATE

— Marf (@MarfSalvador) November 25, 2016

16 And finally, at least you don’t have to answer fan mail

Dear Mr. Levine,

I received your letter, and yes, Spider-Man does eat his own webs. It makes him stronger, but more insane.

Best,
Stan Lee

— Adam Levine (@aclevine86) January 25, 2016

Artist Wife Illustrates The Drastic Ways Her Husband’s Life Changed After Kids

By Jordan Stratton

17 hours ago

Chen Weng, an illustrator who goes by the name The Messycow, has created a series of comics showing just how much things change when one becomes a father.

Which do you relate to most?

Check out more from this series on The Messycow’s Facebook page and website.

Dad Dinosaur: Prehistoric Reunion

By The Dad

17 hours ago

Dad Dinosaur’s high school reunion is fast approaching, but will he be able to win the big dance contest – or are his moves stuck in the past?

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Father Figures: Risky Business

By Mike Julianelle

2 days ago

“As the garage door closed behind me, I heard a muffled whimper.

“What is that?” I wondered. Another whimper and I noticed eight fingers on the lid of one of the garbage cans in the corner. I spy a set of eyes, then a nose and finally my oldest son’s face.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

“What happened? Where is your brother?” No answers, just sobbing.

He moped toward the door and I followed him into the kitchen. I half-expected to see CSI investigators hovering over a chalk outline.

We walked around the corner by the refrigerator, and only then did I see his brother and allow myself to take my first breath. Then I saw a hole in the drywall the size of a young boy’s torso.

They had been running & sliding, in their stocking feet, across the marbled kitchen floor. Obviously a bit too exuberantly! I was relieved that they were both okay, but I still mustered enough anger to quash any future escapades.

Each blamed the other, of course. I used to say I couldn’t always tell when my kids were lying, but I could always tell when they were telling the truth.

If that makes any sense to you, I’m guessing you’ve raised at least two boys.”

Ron Fuller

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Crap Alert

By The Dad

2 days ago

“I farted…and a bit came out.”

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Son Surprises Ailing Dad With Tickets To College World Series

By Mike Julianelle

Father’s Day is a special time to celebrate your old man, and show him how much you appreciate the role he’s played in your life all these years. Especially since, as we get older, our dads do too, and they may not have many Father’s Days left.

Matt Lea recognized that this Father’s Day, and so went out of his way to make it a memorable one, for both him and his father, both former college baseball players who bonded over the game as Matt was growing up.

Matt’s father Billy suffers from Alzheimer’s Disease, and the symptoms have been accruing rapidly. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t time for more memories, and Matt used the latest Father’s Day as an opportunity to do just that. The 36-year-old drove 12 hours, from Florida to Mississippi, and surprised his parents at their doorstep on Sunday.

He was bearing gifts as well, bringing his dad the jersey of his favorite baseball team, Mississippi State. But that wasn’t all. Matt brought tickets too, to see the College World Series in Omaha in person.

In video of the exchange that Matt posted on Twitter, his dad was clearly taken by surprise.

Surprised my dad today to tell him I’m taking him to Omaha to watch @HailStateBB play. His Alzheimer’s is setting in fast but I know he’s going to have a blast this weekend. Hail State!!! pic.twitter.com/NTtAxcxxIj

— Matt Lea (@tigr2ndbase) June 14, 2018

“I figured it’s probably not good enough just for us to watch the game here,” Matt says in the video as he produces the tickets. “How about we go to Omaha? Do you want to go up to Omaha and watch the College World Series together?”

“Golly,” an emotional Billy responds. “You’re gonna break my heart, here.”

Matt’s gift for his dad received a rapturous response from Twitter, where it’s been liked 46,000 times and retweeted 11,000 times.

Thanks everyone. I live 12 hours away in Florida now so it took him completely by surprise when I showed up. We can’t wait to get up there. Hate we’ll only be there for opening weekend but it’s going to be a great final trip for us.

— Matt Lea (@tigr2ndbase) June 14, 2018

Matt seemed as surprised by the response as his dad was by the gift, as everyone who celebrated Father’s Day yesterday knows, there’s nothing better than sharing meaningful memories with your dad, which is exactly what Matt did. An article on Omaha.com details Billy’s baseball past, the initial diagnosis of his Alzheimer’s, the VIP experience Matt treated him too over the weekend.

Matt’s Twitter account showcased the rest.

Thanks to everyone that made today something we’ll treasure forever. We have a couple things to do tomorrow before have to head home. @HailStateBB keep grinding and believe. You’re a team of destiny. pic.twitter.com/GamW2sEJ9i

— Matt Lea (@tigr2ndbase) June 17, 2018

Thank you @HailStateBB for everything. You’ve given us an incredible time together. Thank you to all that have offered room/tickets for the rest of the games. Dad needs to get home back into his routine and familiar surroundings. Now go get a championship!!!!! pic.twitter.com/5Y0NNORIoo

— Matt Lea (@tigr2ndbase) June 17, 2018

Happy Father’s Day!

Amazing Street Artist Uses Everyday Objects As His Canvas

By Jordan Stratton

Artist Tom Bob doesn’t see the world like other people. Where you and I might see sewer grates or metal pipes, he sees ghosts and saxophone players.

Check out some of the amazing ways he’s transforming parts of New York City into works of art.

Check out more of Tom Bob and his unique artwork here.

Dad’s Press Conference: Post Father’s Day Wrap Up

By The Dad

…Quantity does not equal quality.

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Father Figures: Heroes

By Mike Julianelle

“On February 2, 2011, my daughter was born. The whole thing started pretty normally about 2:30 am or so, my wife woke me up and said, ‘Honey, it is time to go,’ so we went to the hospital in a snowstorm.

That was the easy part.

When they put the belly monitor on her they noticed that the babies heart rate would drop to low whenever my wife would have a contraction. She needed emergency C-section, but the doctor could not make it due to the storm, and when he finally arrived it was rush rush rush!

Well when my daughter Emily did arrive, she had internal bleeding throughout her body, which included two grade 4 brain bleeds. We could not touch her because she would bruise and start bleeding.

They had to life-flight her to the university, where she spent 5 1/2 weeks in the NICU, which left her (you may want to sit down) deaf/blind, with hydrocephalus, a shunt, cerebral palsy, and seizures (at age 6, she needed a baclofen pump because her CP got too bad to handle without it). She is doing great today. She is happy, loves life, and everyone who meets her says that she makes their day and she is beautiful.

To pay back our little community, I became a first responder, mostly a firefighter, but I did help with EMS. Never got my certification, but that is where I found out that in the U.S. we do not have any training for first responders to deal with children with special needs.

I have made it my personal mission to teach first responders about kids with special needs.

I have taken to Emily to every EMS/Fire station in the five counties around me. I have taken her to the police and sheriff’s departments to train them, and now I have a waiting list to get trained.

I don’t know if I am the hero here, but I needed to tell the story.”

– Mike Kuyper

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Low Cost Cosplay Guy Makes The World A Better Place

By Jordan Stratton

Anucha “Cha” Saengchart, the genius behind “Low Cost Cosplay,” has amassed millions of followers with his incredible reimaginings of famous fictional characters.

Whether you’re planning on portraying your favorite anime character or a Marvel superhero, this guy can show you how to do it effectively and on a string budget.