The Corner

Tweet Roundup: The Funniest Dad Tweets of March 2019

(Getty/skynesher)

Ahh, March. Spring has sprung, brackets have busted, and somewhere they’re still power-washing green puke off of a sidewalk. As a reward for your persistence through the Tuesday of months, here are some of the funniest dad tweets from it!

Simpler times.

The most powerful of power-naps.

Never miss out on chore credit.

Also, “getting the big pancake.”

Give this kid an advice column.

Tell your kids to just say no to advertising campaigns.

Sometimes you just know.

Sugarcoat nothing.

Good effort, kid.

It truly never ends.

When your spouse knows you all too well.

Ingenuity at its finest.

Bonus: Cat Dad of the month.

MLB Player Uses Baby Shark as Walk-Up Song + More

Baby Shark MLB Batting Intro
(Twitter/FOXSportsSW YouTube/PinkFong)

What started as a harmless, catchy kids tune quickly morphed into something much darker, corrupting the minds of toddlers and young children everywhere. “Baby Shark” is no longer content with billions of Youtube plays, and is now ruthlessly invading the sports world after Texas Rangers shortstop Elvis Andrus used it as his walkup song. He said it was his toddler son’s favorite song, but what might have been a cute early season story could stick around longer, as he smashed a home run and added two other hits in the season-opener. It could’ve come and gone in the sports world if he had a forgettable day, but there is no stopping Baby Shark. He had a great game and threatened the song is here to stay. But we all knew that in our hearts. It is only a matter of time before it replaces the national anthem before games. Do not fight it any longer, simply bow down to our new baby shark overlords.

RELATED: The Best Baby Shark Toys That Will Only Drive You Semi-Crazy – Fatherly

 

UCF lost to Duke in the second round in a very Duke way. Every single bounce went the Blue Devils way at the end, to the point that it was bizarre even for Duke. It’s one thing when you have a demonstrably crooked ref who clearly has the fix in for you, but this was just missed shots that should’ve been easy and giving up freakish offensive rebounds on missed free-throws. Now, as a big fan of Zion and as someone who picked Duke in his bracket (we are the worst people), I was fine with it. But the video from the UCF locker room is really tough to watch.


As hard as that game was to watch for a UCF fan, imagine being head coach Johnny Dawkins. The former Duke star had to watch his son, who played amazing, miss a late game-winning shot. My heart breaks for my daughter if she misses a PK in soccer, in a league where they don’t keep score and the kids care a thousand times more about the postgame snack than anything that happens in the game. I can’t imagine what it would be like to see your son leading the team you’re coaching in one of the biggest upsets of the year, only to see it crumbling away in the final seconds.

And I think that’s part of what makes the NCAA tournament so great. It’s an incredible roller coaster of emotions. You see an end-of-the-rotation guy get hot and hit a bunch of 3s. You see a future NBA player choke in the limelight and watch another have the game of his life in the next. And most importantly, you see that these guys care. Too often in professional sports, the fans care much more about the wins and losses than the players. If a team gets bounced from the playoffs, those millionaires are surely disappointed, and it might ruin their week before they are back to the grindstone working towards the next year or their next team. For some fans though, they live and die by those wins and losses. There is not the same disconnect at the college level, especially in a game with the immediacy of basketball, where the teams are smaller and the fans (and TV cameras) are right on top of them. You can see how much emotion they have, how much they care, and that makes you feel more invested as a fan.

If you need more evidence that college sports are great, some kids are now getting scholarships for e-sports. I wish I had been born a decade or two later, so I could have fully committed to the video game life. Now there is a clear career path for gamers, and that rules. And I get to be one of those ancient old-timers who can still talk about ‘the good old days’ playing EA Sports College Football.

 

The 10 Best Comments of the Week 3/31

Every week we pan for comedy gold in the comments section of our Facebook posts. If your comment cracks us up (or warms our hearts) we’ll showcase it here!

Here’s this week’s roundup of the 10 Best Comments of the Week:

1. Moment of Silence Instead?

2. Moment of Venn

3. Chalk This up as a Victory

4. Jock

5. Mean Jeans

6. Belly Fart

7. Cheers

8. Geography Lesson

9. Classic

10. End of her Rope

Check out the previous edition of The Best Comments of the Week here.

UPS Driver is Breaking Down the Delivery Person VS Dog Barrier

UPS driver and Dogs
(Instagram/jhardesty)

While there’s a special bond between dogs and their live-in humans, their typical relationship with mail carriers and delivery drivers can often be contentious at best.

That is until one photogenic UPS Driver in Louisiana bridged the divide in the best way he knew how:
Posing with the pups on Instagram.

Jason Hardesty has been posting the paw-sitively playfully puppy pics using hashtag #PupsofJay since February of last year.

While photos of puppies are almost always a hit, Hardesty told Mashable that after his first post, he knew he was on to something special.

“I posted it and got a lot of good feedback and realized people wanted more of that so I started taking pics of the dogs I came across.”

Here’s Jason’s first post using the #PupsofJay hashtag:

View this post on Instagram

Higgins and jay #pupsofjay

A post shared by Jason Hardesty (@jhardesty) on

Since then, Hardesty has garnered several thousand likes on his posts and the adoration of many furry friends along his New Orleans route.

View this post on Instagram

Jay and Bit #pupsofjay

A post shared by Jason Hardesty (@jhardesty) on

View this post on Instagram

Jay and Prince #pupsofjay

A post shared by Jason Hardesty (@jhardesty) on

One comment even suggests that UPS should adopt a brand new mascot (or two).

View this post on Instagram

Jay and Liath #pupsofjay

A post shared by Jason Hardesty (@jhardesty) on

Over time, Hardesty has bonded with the dogs he sees frequently, even posting a sad face emoji upon learning that two of his barking buddies would be moving away.

So what’s Jason’s secret? Why do these doggos just melt in his arms? Is it some sort of special training? Is it that awesome smile?

It’s got to be the smile.

View this post on Instagram

Jay and Jiggy #pupsofjay

A post shared by Jason Hardesty (@jhardesty) on

With over 12,000 followers on his Instagram account, he’s obviously doing something right.

Looking for more dog content? Look no further. This pup’s reaction to the Lion King is what you need.

Apple Arcade Is Coming This Fall and Family Sharing is Free [WATCH]

(Youtube/Apple)

Apple hasn’t exactly been known for gaming over the years. While someone might be counting their headshots on a high-end gaming PC, video games on Apple hardware have consisted more of time-killing touchscreen titles you boot up while waiting in line at the DMV.

This is all about to change, according to Apple’s recent announcement of the Apple Arcade. The new game subscription service is being touted by Apple execs as a curated collection of the best games to experience on mobile, desktop, and in the living room.

With over 100 new and exclusive titles (unavailable on any other subscription streaming service), users will be able to play games on Apple TV, iPhone, iPad, and Mac and all games will be available offline.

Family sharing will be available at no extra cost, too, so get ready to battle it out with your kiddos for household high scores.

It might all seem gimmicky if it wasn’t for some of the high-profile studios and developers partnering with Apple—including Hironobu Sakaguchi, the creator of the Final Fantasy series.

Other major publishing partners include Sega, Disney, Lego, Konami, Gameloft, and many more.

Mac has long been a company long known for its hardware, so it will interesting to see if their new focus on games and services will be enough to compete with the big boys who already have a solid footing in the market.

More information regarding specific titles and functionality is bound to be released before Apple Arcade’s launch this fall.

Dad Plays Basketball Arcade Game with Baby Strapped to Him

Potentially Gifted Child Can Zip Jacket in Just Under 12 Minutes

(Getty/HRAUN)

SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Referring to his son as “a prodigy of sorts,” Kyle Gundacker was ecstatic to learn his 6-year-old, Alex, may be gifted, after witnessing him zip up a jacket in just under 12 minutes.

“You gotta watch for the signs early,” says Kyle. “Some kids paint well, some show interest in a second language, some are adequate at fastening outerwear without making a whole thing out of it. Every child is special.”

Kyle says he and his wife are looking into enrichment programs at Alex’s elementary school, contending that children with large vocabularies, persistent curiosity, and advanced cognitive skills aren’t nearly as gifted as children capable of affixing one side of their jacket to the other without making you late for something.

“Looks like we’re two for two on genius kids,” adds Gundacker, who’s 8-year-old daughter Haley was skipped a grade after putting on shoes in under an hour.

Despite being completely plausible to parents, THIS JUST IN is satire and intended for entertainment purposes only. For more stories like this one click here.

Dad Remembers ’80s Game-Winning Packers Drive, Forgets Today Is His Wedding Anniversary

Packers' Drive
(Getty/Hero Images)

GREEN BAY, WI – Sitting in his dimly lit man cave drinking brewskis and sharing stories with an old college buddy and their two sons, 61-year-old Robert Gibson suddenly launched into a vivid description of the most incredible ending to a Packers game he ever saw, painfully unaware that his wife was upstairs taking off her makeup after she came to the conclusion that there was no anniversary surprise in store after all.

“It was October 17th, 1983,” said Robert, proving he had an excellent memory for dates thus making it all the more surprising that he had no idea today was his 30th wedding anniversary.

As Robert expertly recounted photographic details about the game—including the fact Green Bay kicker Jan Stenerud hit a field goal with 54 seconds left to put the Packers up over the Redskins for good—he failed to remember the most important detail of all: that he had promised his wife Sara never to forget their anniversary again after skipping it last year to see a Steppenwolf cover band perform.

“Watching the Packers win that game was the greatest day of my life, and marrying Sara was second!” joked Robert causing those in attendance to burst out in laughter, which in turn covered the sound of Sara wheeling a suitcase downstairs and slamming the front door on her way to stay with her sister for a few days.

It wasn’t until about 30 minutes later that Robert finally realized he had made a huge, inexcusable mistake, as he had completely forgotten to set his fantasy baseball lineup that morning.

This Just In…is The Dad Faking News. Despite being completely plausible to parents, it’s satire and intended for entertainment purposes only. For more stories like this one click here.

Dad Interrupts Daughter’s Swing at Piñata to Demonstrate Fundamentals

Pinata Dad
(Getty/Beth Rooney)

SEATTLE, WA – Noticing his 6-year-old daughter’s feet weren’t planted and that she was taking his eyes off the proverbial ball, local father Michael Sweeney interrupted the piñata breaking portion of his child’s birthday to remind all kids in attendance about the importance of drilling home the fundamentals if they hope to make the big leagues someday.

“Keep your hands back, feet balanced, and you may end up having a hall of fame career just like Ichiro,” preached Michael to the crowd of disinterested first graders, many of whom cared less about their future athletic prospects and more about eating chocolate right now until they puked.

Like any good coach and father, Michael refused to allow his daughter to take another hack at the piñata without proper instruction first, fearing that it may reinforce bad habits. Instead, Michael broke the piñata himself with an absolutely gorgeous swing thus proving the value in learning the fundamentals, and then rewarded himself by picking up all of the candy and saving it for later.

“Trust me, it’ll be good for these kids in the long run,” said Michael, who had made that very same claim at his daughter’s birthday the previous year when he interrupted a game of musical chairs to teach everyone the benefits of keeping a low center of gravity.

When Michael noticed that many of the partygoers were crying over not getting any candy, he realized that he may have gone too far. But all was not lost, as Michael had a spare piñata that he then placed on a tee so the children could continue to practice their fundamentals until their parents came to pick them up.

This Just In…is The Dad Faking News. Despite being completely plausible to parents, it’s satire and intended for entertainment purposes only. For more stories like this one click here.

Ohio Dad Picks Perfect First Two Rounds of March Madness [WATCH]

Dad picks perfect bracket
(YouTube/News 5 Cleveland)

March Madness is among the most unpredictable events in sports. This is why it’s so fun to try to predict it, which millions of people do every spring, filling out brackets based on seeding, loyalty, uniform preferences, etc. There is no real science to it, and the most fun tournaments tend to feature teams no one saw coming.

Upsets, buzzer beaters, Cinderella stories, Steph Curry; these are a few of our favorite tings to happen during the NCAA’s signature event. Sometimes an unheralded player or an underrated team gets hot and rampages through their region, setting fire to countless brackets in the process. Getting one exactly right through an entire tournament is pretty much out of the question. Getting even a round or two exactly right is exceedingly rare.

Which is what makes Columbus, Ohio dad Gregg Nigl’s bracket so extraordinary. He NAILED the first two rounds of the tournament, exactly! The odds of someone making it to the sweet sixteen without botching a single pick? ONE IN 281 TRILLION.

Seems unlikely, doesn’t it? Well, you’re not a neuropsychologist like Gregg, which obviously had everything to do with his mighty prognostication powers, and by “everything” I mean probably actually nothing. Even in a somewhat chalky tourney, not even Nostradamus could be counted on to get the first 48 games right!

It’s the longest anyone has ever had a perfect bracket. Gregg nailed 13 seed UC Irvine seed taking out Kansas State, and 12 seed Liberty over 5 seed Mississippi State.In an interview with Good Morning America, Gregg said he filled out the bracket for fun. “I wasn’t even checking, I didn’t know until today.”

Unfortunately for Greg, he had Tennessee over Purdue, which went to overtime last night but resulted in a win from the Boilermakers. His champion, Gonzaga, is still alive, so he may not be perfect, but he still has a chance to win it all!

Father Figures: Wildfire

“Back in May of 2016, our entire city was evacuated due to a wildfire. My wife was 8 1/2 months pregnant.

We left with me and my wife, mother-in-law, two stepchildren, a roommate, and my dog and cats. We figured we would be gone for the night while they got things under control. A month and a half went by before we could come home.

We were evacuated on May 3rd and my son was born on May 18th. A happy healthy baby boy. Quite the change considering that two weeks before that I was googling how to deliver a baby on the side of the road.

We witnessed a fatal accident on May 4th, while evacuating, and I was sure the stress was going to somehow affect baby or mama. Luckily, he waited until one day past his due date. We witnessed the end and the beginning of a life in the same two weeks. The emotional roller coaster took a toll on us all.

He isn’t quite old enough yet to understand his own story but we can’t wait until he is! #FortMacStrong”

– Danny Lane

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email [email protected]

Dad Hacks Son’s Bed Time Thirst With a Gerbil Water Bottle

Dad's Bedtime Thirst Hack
(Kennedy News and Media)

You know the routine: you’re finally tucking your kids into bed and on the brink of enjoying some silence…then suddenly they claim to be thirsty. We all know it’s just a stall tactic, but one dad has solved the problem.

Kristian Wilkes, a dad from the UK had finally had enough of it. Not only would his son routinely ask for a drink but he would often spill them too.

So Kristian went to a pet store, slapped down £2.50, and attached a gerbil water feeder to his son’s bedpost. It started off as a prank but turned out to be the perfect solution.

“He didn’t even notice, and he lay there for 20 minutes,” Kristian recalled. “Then he shouted down, ‘Dad, why have I got a gerbil bottle on the side of my bed?'”

(Kennedy News and Media)

“It was great. I didn’t have to be up and down the stairs getting him drinks.” he told The Mirror.

Logan now has easy access to all the delicious hydration he needs as long as he’s willing to suckle a little metal tube like a rodent.

Kristian is even thinking of installing one on his own bed to combat dehydration and hangovers if he happens to overindulge on the booze—exactly the kind of MacGyver thinking we like to see in a dad.

(Kennedy News and Media)

“I just did it for a laugh to poke fun at him. But a lot people have been saying what a great idea it was.”

Sometimes, the best solution is one that’s a bit out-of-the-box… or, in this case, the gerbil cage.