Everyone has expectations about what it’s like to be a parent — most of which are promptly thrown out the window once their first bouncing bundle of joy arrives.

And there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, it represents just how adaptable and resourceful parents truly are. In fact, it might even help new moms and dads empathize with their parents. *GASP*

To delve deeper into this phenomenon, Reddit user PeevesPoltergiest posed the question “Parents of Reddit: What did you swear you wouldn’t do as a parent, that you’ve done at least once?”

With nearly 10,000 comments, we now know that parenting truly is a mystery until you actually do it yourself.

Here are some of our favorite responses:

Micah Schieber and his mom, Sarah, were preparing to send out invitations to his upcoming high school graduation party. In addition to family and friends, Micah had a few more names he wanted to add to the list.

“Mom, do you think we could invite the police department?”

Sarah told Inside Edition the request took her by surprise. “I kind of stopped in my tracks, and I looked at him, and said, ‘You mean the whole police department?'”

He did.

When Micah was just 6-years-old, his father, a respected member of the Michigan Midland Police Department, passed away while running a marathon. His wife Sarah was competing with her husband until around mile five, when Chad kissed her and ran ahead, saying he’d meet her at the finish. That was the last time Sarah saw her husband alive. “I always joke that when I get to heaven, I’m going to whack him because he got the wrong finish line.” A massive heart attack fueled by an undiagnosed medical condition ending Chad’s life far too soon.

While Sarah is able to joke about the experience now, she says the pain was nearly too much for her to bear at the time. “In a heartbeat, I became a 33-year-old widow with three babies.”

For the next several years, Sarah focused on her children, often spending nights together in her king size bed. She would wake to find Micah’s head laying on her chest. “He knew at 6 years old that his daddy’s heart had stopped beating. He was laying there listening to my heartbeat. I know it.”

Now 18 and graduating high school, Micah wanted officers from his dad’s former department to not only fill the void left by his father’s death but also to thank them for their service. Sarah sent off an invitation to Chad’s former boss, Midland Police Chief Cliff Block. Weeks passed without a response. Sarah tried to brace her son for the possibility that on Father’s Day weekend, many officers would likely be too busy to attend.

On the day of the party as guest were arriving, Micah watched in awe as a line of police cars came toward his house. With lights flashing and sirens blaring, 18 police vehicles slowly came parading down the street, leaving Micah “in complete awe and speechlessness.”

“It was car after car after car after car. I just kinda sat there in shock.” After it all sank in, Micah greeted the 18 uniformed officers who took time on a busy Friday evening to come share his special day. “He said, ‘I want you to know I realize you guys get a lot of bad press … but I want you to know that just to me and my family, you mean a lot to us and we appreciate you,'” recalled his proud mother. Micah even made gift bags in hopes the officers would attend.

While Micah only has a few memories of his father, the one thing he says he remembers most is “We were always side-by-side, doing things together.”

As for Chad’s time on the force, Micah recalls “His motto was that if you ever arrested someone and they’re in the back of your squad car, you know that’s one of the lowest times of their life. And so instead of treating ’em like a criminal, you treat ’em like a person.”

His goal now is to learn more about his father’s work life. “It’s important to me because people talk about my dad with such high respect that I want to be just like him.”

Perhaps the police academy is seeking a new recruit?

“So there I was… alone and un-afraid… but it all changed so quickly.

7lbs and 14oz later, he came.

Named after my father and the founders of the United States, “Franklin Thomas,” he took all of us by storm.

Far from family (but always with us) we raised him and continue to do so. I’ve spent 8 months of 3 years, which is short to some, away from him… but he is me. Mine. My boy, my bubba, the bambino.

He loves Alabama football, rough-housing, rocking out, his momma, and life. He is us, a free soul but always challenging himself. We’ve climbed mountains, crossed deserts, swam in oceans…and most importantly, lived.

He taught me more in the last three years, than I knew in the last 29.”

– Matt Pollino

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email [email protected]

Check out the previous editions of Father Figures here.

Josie Birds has experienced quite a bit in her 93 years on this planet.

The Manchester, UK, resident has six daughters, 20 grandchildren, 28 great-grandchildren, and even two great-great-grandchildren. Phew! Most would say that’s a life well lived, but Birds was still missing something. Having been honest and law-abiding her entire life, Birds had an odd desire to know what it felt like to “be naughty,” perhaps without actually having to break the law.

After a life spent providing for her family, it was now their turn to do something special for Josie. One of her granddaughters, Pam Smith, helped organize a special surprise for the woman who has given everyone so much for the past 9 plus decades.

Last Saturday, thanks to the help of a family friend, two off-duty police officers showed up at Josie Birds’ door, tossing accusations claiming she had robbed the local Co-op. Her response? “’I don’t do my shopping in Co-op.” The officers, needing to further investigate her claims of innocence, carefully cuffed Birds and placed her in the back of a police van for questioning down at the station.

While most would resent being dragged out of their home for a crime they didn’t commit, Smith says it was exactly was this senior was looking for.

“She wanted to go into the cells too, but they drew the line at that and gave her tea and cake instead. She was lit up all day Sunday talking about it, and she is still excited about her experience.”

Smith thanked the Greater Manchester Police on Twitter for helping her grandmother cross this rather unusual item off her bucket list.

“A big thank you to @gmpolice for “arresting” my Gran Josie today. She is 93 years old and her health is failing, and she wanted to be arrested for something before it’s too late. She has a heart of gold and thoroughly enjoyed it today. Thank you for granting her wishes.”

The department later responding to the message:

Hello, I'm glad our officers could help out, looks like she got the full experience! Give our best to Josie and I'll try and pass your message back to the officers who kindly helped out.

— Greater Manchester Police (@gmpolice) June 25, 2019

Smith then with this final reply: “It has made an old lady very happy.”

Women’s soccer is having a moment. The U.S. Women’s National Team is well on its way to a second consecutive World Cup after knocking off host country France in the quarterfinals, 2-1. The U.S. Women took down Les Bleus in one of the most hyped women’s soccer games of all time.

As much as the game meant to the Americans, it may have meant even more to the French, as it was billed as a statement game for France as the women begin to earn more attention and had a legitimate shot to take down the top-ranked Americans. The priciest ticket on the secondary market topped $11,000, which is insane for any sporting event. But the U.S. took an early lead and held onto it throughout, and now face England in the semifinals on Tuesday. It will be the eighth straight appearance in the semifinals for the Americans.

If somehow your heart rate is back to normal, we’ve got some highlights so you can re watch that incredible game all over again. pic.twitter.com/iScsYtlHBx

— U.S. Soccer WNT (@USWNT) June 28, 2019

Now is the time to get on the bandwagon. Women’s soccer is gaining more traction in America and the women continue their fight to get paid equally to the men’s team (the women still lag behind despite generating more revenue). The U.S. is coming off a World Cup win in 2015 and has been seen as the top world power for several years now. But it’s still not a household “must-see” event in America, so you can be forgiven for tuning in now. There’s not that much else going on in the sporting world at the moment and what’s better than an excuse to go to a sports bar on a Tuesday afternoon?

The decades-old take about how soccer isn’t exciting enough. Of course, these same people will watch a baseball game for 4 hours, destroying any “logic” they claimed to employ. Even Oprah is on board.

Did y’all see that soccer game today? So proud of the USA Women’s National Soccer team! ???????????????????????? @USWNT pic.twitter.com/h94JKAdtgU

— Oprah Winfrey (@Oprah) June 29, 2019

Sticking with female sports, one clip that went viral this week was the incredible defense exhibited by one defender in a girl’s basketball game. The NBA’s reigning Defensive Player of the Year, Rudy Gobert, even took to Twitter to suggest turning in his crown as the best defender in the league.

Allright @nba you can give her my trophy https://t.co/KAXs9BYLWT

— Rudy Gobert (@rudygobert27) June 26, 2019

The NBA free agency period is about to get crazy as things kick into high gear. The Lakers made the biggest league-shaping move when they traded for Anthony Davis. They have since cleared out nearly everyone else to make room for another max contract and are reportedly pursuing Kawhi Leonard or Kyrie Irving. The league’s other major market team, the New York Knicks, is on the opposite end of the spectrum. They let Kristaps Porzingis walk for next to nothing, thinking they would end up with Zion Williamson, Kevin Durant, and Kyrie Irving after this offseason. Instead, they will have none and be the laughingstock of the league AGAIN. Rooting for the Knicks is like rooting for the Washington Generals, only they keep losing to teams that aren’t even the Globetrotters.

And speaking of Kyrie, it looks like Celtic insiders are not afraid of savaging the guy on his way out after a less-than-stellar run in Boston.

Jackie MacMullan: At the completion of the regular season, #Celtics set up 100 balls for charitable partners. Everyone signed them except Kyrie Irving. Pressed to do it, say sources, he was neither aggressive nor confrontational. He merely said, “No, I’m not interested in that.”

— Adam Kaufman (@AdamMKaufman) June 28, 2019

As for NBA Finals MVP Kawhi Leonard, it’s looking pretty likely he won’t be returning to Toronto to help the Raptors defend their title. But at least their fans are taking it well.

Dear Kawhi, Remember the “fun times” we had together in Toronto.
Yours truly,
The @Raptors pic.twitter.com/VXKXLlFgxn

— Jared Jacobs (@goldyeller) June 24, 2019

Everyone has their own opinions about Elon Musk, but you can’t deny he is an impressive individual. The man has helped send a reusable Space X rocket into space and back and has revolutionized the electric car industry with Tesla, but there is one thing he has yet to do: Embrace the pickup truck. As much as the man loves innovation and going places no one has ever gone, he cares surprisingly little about open-air storage and utility options for his vehicles.

That’s where Simone Giertz, the proclaimed “Queen of Crappy Robots,” has stepped in. In her most ambitious project to date, the YouTuber bought a brand new Tesla Model 3, hacked away a good quarter of it, and converted it into a functional pickup (though, calling it a “truck” might be a stretch).

Introducing, the Truckla (WARNING: Several car commercial clichés ahead).

Despite her reputation for constructing hilariously shitty robots, Simone went all out to create a sleek electric pickup that still retains the modern look and feel of a Tesla.

“I have an angle grinder and a welder and I’m not afraid to use them,” she said, before setting out on her car modification adventure.

Granted, should Tesla ever actually make a pickup truck of their own, it probably won’t be their Model 3 with the rear section cut out and replaced with a truck bed, but that doesn’t make the Truckla any less impressive. In her documentary video, Simone highlights the many, many friends and favors it has taken to build her dream car into a reality.

Simone still has plenty of ways she’d like to further modify Truckla and has continued to invite folks with expertise and know-how to jump on board the project. Hell, maybe Elon Musk should pop in with his two cents; he’s a pretty smart guy, even if he knows nothing about trucks.

Every week we pan for comedy gold in the comments section of our Facebook posts. If your comment cracks us up (or warms our hearts) we’ll showcase it here!

Here’s this week’s roundup of the 10 Best Comments of the Week:

1. Dad Soles

2. Team Work

3. Ill Communication

4. Lost

5. T-Shirt Confessions

6. A Quiet Place

7. Gag That Was Billions of Years in the Making

8. The Correct Time to Fight Crime

9. No Requests

10. Running

Check out the previous edition of The Best Comments of the Week here.

We’ve all heard the story of the Pied Piper—the man who was hired to lure a town’s rat population away by playing an enticing melody on a pipe.

Well, replace the pipe with a saxophone and the rats with a herd of cows and you get this magical video shared by Twitter user @erinmherrmann.

According to Erin, her dad learned to play the saxophone by watching YouTube videos and decided to put on his very own recital for a special four-legged audience.

“Our dog, Piper, hates the noise so much, she even chewed up all his reeds once,” Erin told Mashable. “My dad was running by the field on June 25 and thought that maybe the cows would appreciate his music more than Piper would. He was definitely right!

“We always talk to and go see the cows near the house because they are his favorite animal and they make his so happy. . . He’s just such a good-hearted guy and likes to be goofy and enjoy the simple things in life! He loves that he’s making people so happy!”

pt.2 listen for the neighbor at the end pic.twitter.com/qdMCnZRzqh

— Erin Herrmann (@erinmherrmann) June 26, 2019

There are so many things I love about this video. Right off the bat, the dog’s actual name is Piper. Hilarious.

Secondly, despite only learning from YouTube videos, Erin’s pops knows quite the variety of classic sax songs—”Isn’t She Lovely,” “Careless Whisper,” and then capping the concert with the neighbors yelling “Tequila!”

But overall, we love seeing a dad who’s excited to keep learning and share his passions with the world. . . more specifically, the world’s cows.

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The Dad Club welcomes comedian / actor Matt Van Orden to chat all things summer, being the best grill dad, and living life to the fullest!

Follow Matt Van Orden
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mattvanorden/?hl=en 
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MattVanOrden

Follow our Dads:
Nick Fabiano: https://www.instagram.com/nick_fabiano
Ben Stumpf: https://www.instagram.com/thestumpf
Rob King: https://www.instagram.com/robert.thaking
Matt Fisher: https://www.instagram.com/mattffisher

You gotta wonder what the Colonel would think about KFC’s recent food stunts. Would he appreciate the innovative vision it took to create the gravy-filled pizza? Would the novelty of deep-fried chicken skins be lost on him?

Well, get ready to add yet another bizarre menu item to that list because KFC is rolling out a brand new collaboration with none other than Cheetos.

Those in New York got a taste of the new collaboration today.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Hey New Yorkers! Come by our 14th Street location today to experience the ultimate KFC and @cheetos pop-up party and try the new KFC Cheetos Sandwich before it launches July 1!

A post shared by Kentucky Fried Chicken (@kfc) on Jun 27, 2019 at 1:20pm PDT

For everyone else, starting July 1, the chicken chain is rolling out four Cheeto-laden menu items nationwide, including the Cheetos Sandwich, Cheetos hot wings, Cheetos-loaded fries, and Cheetos mac and cheese. Each item features not only Cheetos bits themselves but a special Cheetos sauce that was deliciously created to coat fried chicken.

Yes, we know. They are the orangest things we have ever seen, too.

KFC is known for launching some kind of promotional gimmick every month or so, not all of which are food products. For instance, they recently featured RoboCop as the new protector for the brand’s 11 original herbs and spices.

No scheme, however, has reached the same level of fame (or infamy) quite like the KFC Double Down did nine years ago—people still talk about that bunless wonder from time to time.

But with the power of Cheetos on their side, this cheesy chicken partnership might just have a fighting chance.

Once unable to move around on his own, Brody Moreland is now a toddler on-the-go thanks to a unique device created by his father, Taylor. Now the family is helping children like Brody by giving the gift of mobility to those who may otherwise be unable to play like other kids.

Brody was born with Spina Bifida, a rare birth defect which occurs when a baby’s spinal cord fails to properly develop in the womb. In addition, Brody was also diagnosed with spinal cord atrophy, a condition which limits brain signals to his lower extremities.

“It essentially means he’s paralyzed from the chest down,” dad, Taylor Moreland, told Good Morning America.

Like many parents in their situation, Taylor and his wife were inundated with questions and concerns they never expected. “We were devastated,” said Ally Moreland. “There was a lot of guilt and questions and worry; ‘What did I do wrong? Why did this happen to my child?'” After the shock, the parents pivoted to finding solutions to make things as normal as possible for Brody. “We quit focusing on ‘Why?’ and began focusing on, ‘How do we help him?'” said Taylor Moreland.

As time went on and Brody got older, the family was always looking for ways to give him as much freedom as possible. After the now one-year-old became increasingly curious, his parents got him a scooter board that was designed to help him crawl. Unfortunately, Brody’s hands would get stuck, making things difficult for him and frustrating for his parents.

“I started thinking, ‘Truly I can make something better,'” Taylor recalled. “Just seeing him try to move, that sparked it. Then it was a relentless drive to get him crawling.” While the father had no formal engineering knowledge, his time spent growing up on a farm likely gave him the knowledge to think outside the box to find a simple but functional solution.

In September of last year, “The Frog” as Taylor has named it, was finally ready for use. The wheeled device allows children a more free range of motion using their arms to move around. Straps keep the rider secure while the device tilts up and down allowing it to move with them.

The family has now started producing the units out of their home in order to help others like Brody. “The Frog” currently costs around $300 to produce in its current configuration. If a family cannot afford the cost, the Morelands say they have raised some money via crowdfunding which currently enables them to send one free of charge.

“The goal right now is to get kids moving,” Taylor Moreland said. “Before we had the Frog, we put him on the floor and that’s where he was going to be 30 minutes later. He can now explore and do what he wants to do.”

A mobile toddler does come with some additional chores, but that’s just fine for his mom, Ally. “There’s toys to pick up now,” she told GMA.” “It’s exciting to watch him change. In the beginning, his cognitive development exploded as soon as he became mobile. There was a long time where I thought this wouldn’t be a reality for him.”

It’s that reality that continues to drive their venture to help as many other families as possible to have the same experience.

Stories like this are a testament to how parents are finding unique solutions to otherwise limiting situations.

As Robert Pattinson prepares to suit up as the newest caped crusader, casting details about The Batman are trickling out. We recently learned Colin Farrell will play The Penguin, Paul Dano will be The Riddler and Matthew McConaughey is rumored to be playing Two-Face.

Notably absent from that list, however, is Batman’s archnemesis: the Joker.

Of course, with the internet being the internet, people are clamoring about who could possibly don the white makeup and the frontrunner appears to be none other than Macauley Culkin of Home Alone fame. Fanart featuring Culkin as the Clown Prince of Crime has even begun to surface.

 

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Macaulay Culkin Joker edit ???? Swipe for B/A! Well, this is the new rumor, I don’t think this will happen, but with Warner one never knows. #joker #batman #gotham #dccomics #photoshop #digitalart #dceu #dcuniverse #dcfilms #justiceleague #xmen #avengers #comicbook #movies #edit #beforeafter #cosplay #thejoker #harleyquinn #art #wonderwoman #superman #suicidesquad #dc #jokeredit

A post shared by Bryan Fiallos (@bryanzapp) on Jun 9, 2019 at 1:05pm PDT

Again, at this time, there have not been any conversations about the inclusion of Mr. J in The Batman, but since when have “facts” and “logic” been important when the internet wants something?

Culkin himself even acknowledged his frenzied fans with a nod on his Instagram account, seemingly confirming his interest in the hypothetical role.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Macaulay ‘Instagram’ Culkin (@culkamania) on Jun 11, 2019 at 6:54pm PDT

Fortunately, Joker fans won’t have to wait long to see a version of the sadistic villain on the silver screen with Todd Phillips’s Joker starring Joaquin Phoenix hitting theaters on October 4.

Not to make things too confusing, but The Batman will take place in the DCEU while Joker will not, making it entirely possible for two actors to play the infamous character at the same time.

Will Mack join Joaquin in putting smiles on some unfortunate people’s faces? Only time will tell.