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Ashley Love

Ashley is an Online Enthusiast who loves swanky clothes, fancy food, and pretentious coffee. These things are extremely difficult to partake in as a wife of an underpaid resident physician and a mother to 4 kids under 7 years old, but she always finds a way, so don’t doubt her. You can find her on Twitter.

New Year’s Eve Tweets All Parents Can Relate To

(Twitter/simoncholland and Getty/taratata)

New Year’s Eve: The holiday that everyone loves to over-hype. I am here to say that I believe it’s high time for us to stop living in a fantasy land. Let’s ring in the new year in a reasonable fashion: from the comfort of our own homes and asleep by 10:30. Like adults.  


1 I have kids, so New Year's Eve is not a thing.

The first step in this process is resetting society’s expectations. If we start establishing it early that we won’t be attending the parties, maybe the party invites will stop entirely. Now if you’re too polite for this, an alternative for you is to use your Ultimate Excuse Card, aka your children. 

2 Yeah, we'll just be doing nothing.

The smart people will realize that once you have kids, they can stop expecting you to go out anymore.

3 Let's just get this over with.

The earlier, the better.

4 I've got a few tricks up my sleeve.

With a little tech savviness, everyone can be in bed at a reasonable hour. Remember, they’re certainly not going to sleep in on January 1st just because they stayed up four hours past their bedtime. Don’t be a hero.

5 I'm just...so...tired.

It’s not even just the kids I want to get to bed early, it’s myself too. I’m not sure if people realized this when New Year’s Eve celebrations became a thing, but midnight is late. You know when you hit that lag every day around noon and you feel like if you don’t get a nap then you will actually die? Midnight is literally HALF OF A DAY PAST THAT. 

6 Even if I did stay up, it's not like the movies.

Let me tell you, the real-life romance of this holiday is positively unmatched, folks.

7 If I do have to leave the house, just please don't make me dress up.

I am begging you.

8 New Years Resolutions: are we still doing that? Ugh.

I guess I was supposed to be thinking about goals and stuff?

9 Hey, that's one more than last year.

Maybe if we set the bar lower, then we’ll have a better chance at achieving some personal goals and 2018 will feel better.

10 Don't forget, if you sleep through New Year's Eve, you're not missing anything.

none of this matters. Happy New Year, Dads!

Pictures Prove Kids Hate Santa

(Twitter/kelleew)

Christmas is just around the corner and The Man in Red is sitting on his throne in every mall across the USA. And what could be more adorable than watching your kids have a magical experience with Santa? Nothing. But what could be FUNNIER than watching your kids have a terrifying encounter with that creepy, bearded, old guy? Also, kind of nothing.

I know we shouldn’t laugh when we are probably facilitating the creation of formative trauma, but honestly whom amongst us can keep a straight face at these miniature humans having such giant emotions? I mean, they’re the ones who jumped up with excitement at the mention of meeting Mr. Claus in the first place, right? They’ve seen the movies. It’s not like they were unaware that the guy resembles that unkempt drunk dude who always hangs outside of the 7-11.


Have we ever considered that ‘Saint Nick’ sounds like something you’d ironically call that one uncle who has three DUIs?

And while we’re on the topic of criminal activity, you know what else is a misdemeanor? Breaking and entering. I don’t care that he’s bringing gifts, this whole premise is creepy as heck. I would probably panic too if I was forced to mingle with old Kris Kringle.

Here are a few other kids who were (rightfully) scared out of their minds to meet this guy.

Some kids are braver than others…

(Valerie Williams)

Poor younger siblings, being dragged to face down a demon in a red suit.

(Lauren Thomas)

This baby was straight-up horrified and her big brother tried to hold it together but the “WTF” is written all over his face.

(Stephanie Low)

“MERRY” Christmas, eh?

(Joel Willis)

This next one almost looks like a half decent encounter, until you look closer at her face. Ah yes, the Santa-induced death stare.

(Ashley Boyd)

My heart is pounding with the sheer intensity of the fight or flight response triggered in this next baby.

(Amber Sims)

And then there is the classic, dramatic reach for mom. “Why have you betrayed me like this, I trusted you!”

(Danny Hansen)

The smartest little escape artists know that the best technique is making your entire body straight and rigid like a board until he starts to lose his grip and you can just slide off.

(Michelle Moser)

And finally, this little one didn’t even make it within 50 feet of Santa before collapsing face-first into a pile of fake snow to hide from the world.

(Emily Boyd)

Suffice to say, Santa should give all of us the heebie-jeebies. It makes all the sense in the world that kids freak out when forced upon the Jolly Man’s lap. But all things considered, the traumatic trip to the mall is totally worth it for the hilarity that will ensue.

If you have pictures of your own Santa Fails, send them to us! We’d love to laugh along with you.