The Dad

Generic catch all for posts written by The Dad staff or Father Figures.

Tweet Roundup: The 10 Funniest Tweets About Teachers

(Getty/Kritchanut)

Did you get eight uninterrupted hours of peace and quiet away from your screaming children today? If so, thank a teacher! It’s World Teacher Day and we’ve got 10 funny tweets about the educators we cherish so dearly.

To our math teachers…

thanks for all the number jokes.

To the English teachers…

thanks for keeping our vocabularies sharp.

To our gym teachers…

you do a thankless job and we love you for it.

To all the science teachers…

thanks for keeping us involved.

And thanks to the social studies teachers, for all you taught us…

and all that you could have but didn’t.

Dad Grades: Frank Reynolds From It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

(FX Productions)

The first season of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia featured a four-person crew comprised of Mac, Charlie, Dee, and Dennis. When the show was renewed for a second season, national treasure Danny DeVito joined the gang as Frank Reynolds, Dennis and Dee’s estranged father. How well has performed the role of dad since then? Let’s take a look.

DAD STRENGTHS

(FX Productions)

In late season two, Frank discovers Dee and Dennis are not his biological children. On top of that, it becomes evident he could very well be the biological father Charlie never knew. Paternity tests foregone, Frank sticks around and cements himself as the gang’s fifth member and only passable father figure. Even Mac, whose dad is in prison, is occasionally taken under Frank’s wing and provided mentorship.

Frank is also a fair provider. A once successful businessman, he often offers the gang financial advice, as any good father would, and even throws some of his hoarded wealth behind their shenanigans from time to time. Not many dads would step up to finance their kids’ unauthorized sequels to the Lethal Weapon franchise. Frank Reynolds will.

DAD WEAKNESSES

(FX Productions)

Despite having his wealth, Frank willfully lives in squalor with his maybe-son, Charlie. Their living conditions are, frankly, worrisome. They sleep together on a pull out couch, leading to at least one lengthy argument over who pooped the bed. Bed bugs run rampant. Frank gives himself pedicures with what he loyally refers to as his “toe knife.” He and Charlie urinate into open coffee cans. Frank’s eagerness to wallow in filth is a poor influence on his probably-son Charlie, as a good dad always ensures his kid keeps their living quarters clean. No dad should ever have to ask their kid to retrieve the “blood bucket” because he’s nicked himself with “the toe knife.”

VERDICT

When you put aside the squalor and general depravity in which he lives, Frank Reynolds is a good dad. Sure, he has a shady, manipulative demeanor and a past filled with disreputable characters and illegal activity. And sure, maybe he’s a crazy, gun-toting, compulsive gambler. And yeah, perhaps even one time he sat his Dee on fire for the purposes of a viral video.

But you know what Frank Reynold has that most dads don’t? Rum-infused ham.

(FX Productions)

FINAL DAD GRADE: B-

Check out what Hal from Malcolm in the Middle scored on our previous edition of Dad Grades.

Dad Can’t Stop Laughing After Catching Kids Covered In Paint

Tweet Roundup: 15 The Dad Approved Tweets of September

(Getty/ajr_images)

Chock-full of moth memes and Fortnite musings, September was quite the month for Twitter. Here’s a look back at some of our favorite tweets of the last month!

Nothing like a trip to marvel at some aquatic life.

This was truly a great month for moths.

What getting old feels like.

Like the difference between night and day.

Definitely the six extra shirts you’ll never wear.

The saddest short story.

Kids say the darnedest and creepiest things.

The struggle is real.

Literally every fall.

Spare us your judgmental looks.

The worst.

When you take things a little too literally.

That or a germ warehouse.

It’s truly a sight to behold.

Nailed it.