The Dad

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Tweet Roundup: The Funniest Tweets From Parents About Back-To-School

(Getty/ 10'000 Hours)

It appears summer break has once again come to an end. Bad news for your kids. Fantastic news for you and that stair banister you always find sticky. So open up that wallet and label those pencil cases, we’ve got some hilarious tweets from parents who can’t wait for school to start back.

You’ve waited so, so long for this day.

And trust us, it shows.

But you’ll be celebrating soon enough.

So why not celebrate with a photoshoot?

Just don’t make your enthusiasm too obvious.

So first thing’s first, get those kids out of bed.

Do a trial run the night before if necessary.

And boost that immune system to the best of your abilities.

All good? Okay. It’s finally here. The first day of school.

A few precautions need to be taken.

Be sure to pack a snack!

Hell, pack one for yourself.

The most important thing is punctuality.

Once your kid’s at school, let the longing begin.

Don’t worry, they’ll be back home before you know it.

At which point you become just another teacher.

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Dad Plants 1000 Trees to Offset Son’s Back-to-School Paperwork

Dad Plants 1000 Trees

AKRON, OHIO ⁠— Suggesting that the supply lists alone may have wiped a rainforest somewhere, local dad Jeremy Healy planted a thousand trees this week in an attempt to offset his son’s back-to-school paperwork.

“This one right here?” Healy said, packing soil around the base of a young spruce. “This bad boy should counterbalance the supply lists alone.”

Referring to the excess paperwork as “unnecessary” and “a veritable fucking rain forest in my kid’s backpack,” Healy then showed us a pine tree he’d planted to negate one single gym syllabus.

“It’s tragic, thinking about all the deforestation that had to happen in order for me to grant permission for my kid to play dodgeball,” Healy added.

Healy then confirmed that none of the trees have money growing on them, despite what the school seems to believe.

This Just In…is The Dad Faking News. Despite being completely plausible to parents, it’s satire and intended for entertainment purposes only. For more stories like this one click here.

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Frustrated Dad Can’t Seem to Turn up Volume on GIF

(Getty/Manuel Breva Colmeiro/NBC Universal)

TOPEKA, KS — Dismissing the file format as “newfangled,” local dad Taylor Adkins expressed frustrations this week as he tried to turn the volume up on a GIF.

“I don’t know how anyone manages to work this new stuff,” Adkins said in reference to the bitmap technology first worked in 1987. “My daughter sent it to me and I can’t hear a damn thing,” he continued, assuming it to be video format.

The GIF, a term Adkins erroneously pronounces with a soft G, shows Steve Carrell (as his character from The Office) yelling the word “no.”

“Or so I suspect,” Adkins added. “I’ve got the little vibrate switch turned off and everything.”

Sources say that Taylor has considered getting a new phone, bringing up an earlier incident in which he was unable to hear James Van Der Beek cry.

This Just In…is The Dad Faking News. Despite being completely plausible to parents, it’s satire and intended for entertainment purposes only. For more stories like this one click here.

Tweet Roundup: The 16 Funniest Tweets About School Supplies

(Getty/Chattrawutt Hanjukkam/EyeEm)

Summer is drawing to a close and you know what that means: supply lists are upon. So load up that minivan, empty that wallet, and enjoy these 16 hilarious tweets about back-to-school shopping.

Supply lists. The enemy.

Brace yourselves; they’re long.

Really long.

And often confusing.

Seriously, what are they teaching these days?

Much easier when we were kids.

Regardless, most of these supplies won’t be used as intended.

Kids like to think outside the supply box.

You’ll need the classics. Pencils.

Glue. Lots of glue.

Don’t forget to write your kids’ names on everything!

This could take some time.

So ensure that you only gotta do it once.

But don’t worry, this’ll all be over soon.

Take pride in your accomplishment here.

And don’t forget to grab some supplies of your own.

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