The Dad

Generic catch all for posts written by The Dad staff or Father Figures.

Paternity Leave with Rob King | Ep.7 | What To Do With A Night Without Kids? | The Dad

Rob has a little too much fun when he gets a night to himself. Also, actor John C. Reilly joins Paternity Leave for another “Celebrity Bedtime Stories.

Subscribe to The Dad on Youtube

Dad Grades: Goofy From A Goofy Movie

(Walt Disney Pictures)

Taking your teenage son on a cross-country fishing trip is tough enough as it sounds. We can’t imagine it’s any easier when you’re both anthropomorphic dogs. In this edition of Dad Grades, we take a look at Goofy from A Goofy Movie.

(Walt Disney Company)

DAD STRENGTHS

Ask enough people who love their dad why and you’re bound to hear the adjective “goofy” at some point. There’s a reason. That thin line between lame and endearing is where all the dad jokes live. Silly voices. Novelty grill aprons. We at The Dad encourage this yes-nonsense approach to parenting.

(Walt Disney Company)

Dads don’t get much goofier than, well, Goofy. His hormonal son Max has mastered the eye-roll, quick to dismiss his father’s boisterous, happy-go-lucky demeanor at every ah-hyuck. Get over it, kid. If your dad’s name is Goofy you don’t get to act surprised when you find yourself at a place called Lester’s Possum Park.

(Walt Disney Company)

DAD WEAKNESSES

It’s tough to find fault in such a kindhearted, jovial character like Goofy. If there’s one thing we feel he could dial back a bit, it’s that he can often be quite invasive and overbearing, however well-meaning. The movie begins with Goofy bursting into Max’s room without knocking: a roll of the dice for any parent with a teenage boy.

(Walt Disney Company)

The story then hinges on a father-son fishing trip that -son really, really doesn’t want to partake in.

Now, we’re not saying give your child free reign to do whatever they want, whenever they want. But c’mon, Goof. It’s the first day of summer vacation. Your boy’s smitten with a classmate named Roxanne and anyone who’s anybody will be attending her Powerline concert viewing party. The fish will still be there come mid-July.

VERDICT

Involved. Perpetually cheerful. Willing to evade venue security in an attempt to get your kid on stage with his favorite pop singer just to impress a girl he likes. Goofy is the type of dad we should all aspire to be more like.

(Walt Disney Company)

FINAL GRADE: A

Check out our previous edition where we graded Al Bundy from Married… With Children!

Tweet Roundup: The Funniest Tweets About Decorating for Christmas

(Getty/svetikd)

Do you love attic dust? Or maybe gluing ceramic nativity scenes back together? How about the thrill of untangling headphones but hate when that moment afterwards when they work? Decorating for Christmas may be right for you!

Before you start, keep in mind you’ll be doing this again next year…

…so don’t be afraid to cut corners…

…or splurge a little.

Remember: the more lights, the better!

The most important decoration will be your tree.

Ornaments come in all varieties to choose from.

But don’t get too creative.

Tree decorating is a great way to bond with the kids…

…but remember: your roof, your rules.

Once Christmas is over, everything changes.

There will be nothing fun about taking those lights down…

…or disposing of that tree…

…so lend a helping hand when possible.

Tweet Roundup: The Funniest Tweets About Elf on the Shelf

(Getty/goodmoments)

Is that “he sees you when you’re sleeping” warning just no longer cutting it? Ready to cultivate an atmosphere in your home on par with a Chucky movie? Elf on the Shelf may be right for you! Just check out what these folks have to say!

A wonderful invention!

Fun for parents and kids alike!

Everyone’s doing it!

Not psychologically scarring probably!

Ethically sound!

Works great with other weird lies!

Starts working before you take it out of the box!

The holidays should be about paralyzing fear!

Christmas should feel like a George Orwell book!

Don’t forget to share a photo of yours on social media!

Store probably after the holidays!

Man Proposes to Fiancée’s Daughter Asking to Become Her Dad

Dad Grades: Al Bundy From Married… With Children

(Columbia Pictures)

Most dads see fatherhood as life-changing for the better; a commitment grounded in love, self-sacrifice, and understanding. This is not one of those dads. In this edition of Dad Grades, we’ll take a look at Al Bundy from Married… With Children.

DAD STRENGTHS

We’ll cut right to the chase here: Al Bundy is a disgruntled dad who claims he doesn’t really like his family. He provides for them (sort of) and in one episode admits he “kind of likes” them, even if his unceasing barrage of insults and jaded one-liners suggests anything but.

However, in rare moments of vulnerability, his affection for his kids will shine through. Sometimes his ditzy daughter, Kelly, brings home boyfriends of questionable character. Al is never impressed and he’s not afraid to let these “gentlemen” know it. Suffice to say he’s very protective of his Pumpkin.

(Columbia Pictures)

He also a boy named Bud. Despite wishing he’d been blessed with a more athletic son, Al often praises Bud for being the much, much, much more intelligent of his two children. This encouragement cultivates with Bud becoming the first Bundy to graduate from college. Not bad for a kid Al once called him “Mommy’s second little joke on me.”

DAD WEAKNESSES

Ask any dad what their most crowning achievement in life is. Inevitably, they’ll say something like “marrying my best friend” or “raising three beautiful children.” For Al Bundy, it’s the 1966 High School City football championship. There, as fullback for the Polk High Panthers, he scored four touchdowns against Andrew Johnson High in a single game.

(Columbia Pictures)

He mentions this constantly. And we mean constantly. Regaling the kids with your own personal 30 for 30s can be the finest thing a father can do, but only if done sparingly. No one can stand the dad incapable of leaving his glory days of high school in the decade they occurred. Imagine if every time a car was mentioned, your dad brought up the Camaro he owned in 1986. Pretty annoying, huh? Move on, Al.

VERDICT


Although something like 80% of all Al Bundy quotes contain vicious insults directed at his wife and children, we think he genuinely cares for them. The man makes less than minimum wage working at a shoe store, tending to the crusty feet of customers he can’t stand, all to put what little food he can on their table. Now that, friends, is devotion.

FINAL GRADE: B+

Check out our previous edition of Dad Grades: Hank Hill from King of the Hill!