The Dad

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Finally: Jello Shots and Jenga Together at Last

(Etsy | Stone Point Woodwork)

Who doesn’t love a good game of Jenga? Extracting wooden blocks with the deliberation of an engineer and the hands of a surgeon, moving said blocks to the top of an increasingly rickety structure, and howling like lunatics when the tower inevitably topples over. Everyone emerges the victor, save for one loser tasked with cleaning up the mess they alone made.

It’s a sport of kings.

The only thing that could make it more fun?

Booze.

We’re all familiar with Drunk Jenga, aka Tipsy Tower, a variation that incorporates time-tested drinking game rules. Each block pulled is inscribed with a command, rule, or mini-game. Take shots, give shots, rhyming challenges, things of that nature.

(Pinterest/Nicole Snovicky)

Yeah yeah, we know. It’s been done.

But!

What if we told you someone has integrated Jenga with booze by literally integrating Jenga with booze? Introducing Little Tipsy Jello Shot Towers.

(Etsy | StonePointWoodwork)

Built and sold by the Etsy store Stone Point Woodwork, the Little Tipsy Jello Shot Tower is exactly what it sounds like. It’s way bigger than your standard-issue Jenga stack, standing at a colossal 27 inches. This is because hidden throughout the 54 blocks are 25 holes in which you can comfortably nestle 25 Jello shots.

Literal game changer.

(Etsy | StonePointWoodwork)

“Fifteen of the blocks in this tower contains single holes for Jello shots and five of the blocks contain double holes,” reads their Etsy page. “Pull the block with the shot/shots and you take them or share with a friend!”

This update of the Hasbro classic looks like a rollicking good time, and the inclusion of alcohol should pose no safety issues as long as you don’t keep adding to a really high Jenga. Speaking of which, nobody invent High Jenga.

Album Covers, Reimagined in the Age of Social Distancing

(Paco Conde / Roberto Fernandez / Apple Records)

As social distancing continues to reveal itself as one sobering inconvenience after the next, it’s crucial we keep wringing what chuckles we can from the circumstances dealt.

While we heed stern warnings to keep minimum distances of six feet between one another, two brilliant LA-based artists, Paco Conde and Roberto Fernandez, wanted to reinforce this message. They tasked themselves with modernizing classic album covers so that they adhere to CDC safety guidelines.

From their website:

“A collection of iconic album covers redesigned to raise awareness about the importance of staying at least 6 feet away from each other, to stop the spread of Coronavirus.

Social distancing is the new normal and it will be for a while. 6 feet or 1.8 meters is the distance that experts recommend we keep between each other.

We will rock again soon. Just remember to keep the 6 feet distance. It will save lives.​

On top of keeping your distance, please do support local charities like Feeding America.

Their work is crucial for some of the most vulnerable people struggling with the economic effects of Coronavirus.”

(We took the liberty of retooling a popular lyric from each band to do the same.)

“Ladies, leave ya man at home. Come to think of it, you too. Both of you just stay home please.”

Destiny's Child Album Re-imagined
(Paco Conde / Roberto Fernandez / Columbia)

“Stone me, sure, but I must kindly ask you NOT spit in my eye, thank you”

(Paco Conde / Roberto Fernandez / EMI / Elektra Records)

“You can go your own way, just keep 6′ behind anyone else going theirs”

(Paco Conde / Roberto Fernandez / Warner Bros. Records)

“Call me! Or text. Just, like, do not come over.”

(Paco Conde / Roberto Fernandez / Chrysalis Records)

“Come together. Wait, no, nevermind. Don’t.”

Abby Road Re-imagined
(Paco Conde / Roberto Fernandez / Apple Records)

“Strumming my pain with his I HOPE recently-washed fingers.”

Re-imagined Fugees Album Cover
(Paco Conde / Roberto Fernandez / Ruffhouse / Columbia Records)

“F*** the CO-VID.”

Re-imagined NWA Album
(Paco Conde / Roberto Fernandez / Ruthless / Priority)

“I wanna be sedated. This one works as is.”

(Paco Conde / Roberto Fernandez / Rhino)

“Shout it, shout it, shout it out loud but like cover your mouth if that’s no too much trouble.”

(Paco Conde / Roberto Fernandez / Casablanca)

Check out many more of these clever reimaginings on Paco and Roberto’s website, 6 Feet Covers.

Head of Security at Cowboy Museum Handed Keys to Twitter Account

Tim Send Tweets
(Twitter/ncwhm)

In these trying times, it’s nice to see folks pull together, helping where they can, doing others’ parts in addition to their own. One hero that’s emerged in recent weeks is Tim Send, head of security for the National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum in Oklahoma.

After the mayor of Oklahoma City declared a state of emergency, the museum closed to the public and various tasks were relegated to employees still able to work. The responsibility of maintaining an active social media presence was entrusted to Tim, whose big heart and unbreakable spirit are needed now more than ever.

He introduced himself with a pic.

He then tried to show us around, unsure of how these newfangled hashtags work.

So he reached out for some pointers.

Well, accidentally.

No progress yet on hashtags.

His wholesomeness is nothing short of heartwarming.

He gave a shoutout to his grandson.

Keeping so positive and encouraging.

Eventually, he figured out hashtags.

Come to find out he has both a sense of humor and a wife named Tina.

And if that’s not sweet enough, he even used the platform to wish his grandkids goodnight.

Click here to follow Tim’s journey into the world of tweeting. We wish him good health and can’t wait for the Cowboy Museum to reopen its doors!

Woman Plays Tic Tac Toe With Cat Under Quarantine

Dad Bored From Isolation Discovers Scenic Route to Bathroom

(Getty/Ian Ross Pettigrew/Roomsketcher)

YOUNGSTOWN, OHIO — Suggesting the tried-and-true path was “antiquated,” local quarantined dad Jeff Murtaugh recently announced that he’s discovered a new, more scenic route from the living room to the bathroom.

“This is a game-changer,” Murtaugh beamed. “For too long this family has been encumbered by the humdrum monotony of the hallway every time nature calls. Those days are done for.”

Murtaugh claims you can make a detour through the dining room, where you’ll find all sorts of chairs and placemat doilies to stand and marvel at for a bit.

“Bathroom ain’t goin’ nowhere,” Murtaugh said, fists rested on hips, admiring a big bowl on fruit in the center of the dining table. “Look at all that fruit,” he added.

Murtaugh knew something was to be done when he witnessed his youngest, Kevin, make a quick dash down the hallway for the restroom.

“I remember shouting to him, hey, where’s the fire?” Murtaugh recalled. “It’s just go go go with kids these days. Whatever happened to taking a moment to stop and smell the mahogany?”

Murtaugh says he hopes others will soon follow suit and learn to forego the recurring tedium of a family portrait-lined hallway in favor of something better.

Despite being completely plausible to parents, THIS JUST IN is satire and intended for entertainment purposes only. For more stories like this one click here.

Tweet Roundup: The 15 Funniest Tweets About Being Quarantined With Your Kids

15 Tweets Quarantined With Kids
(Getty/JGI/Jamie Grill)

As parents and kids across the world settle into their new, suddenly sequestered lifestyles, many are committed to finding the humor in it all. You gotta laugh. To help, we’ve dug up 15 hilarious tweets about what it’s like to be quarantined with your kids.

First, get acquainted with your new students.

Don’t worry, you’re in good company!

There’s much to be learned!

It’ll take some time to adjust…

But you’ll learn so much from each other!

So be sure to engage engage engage.

As a parent and teacher, you’ll get double the respect!

Recreate the experience of school to the best of your abilities.

Don’t forget to encourage good hygiene.

Just don’t give up!

Be sure to keep in shape for yourself.

And remember to stock up on fun activities.

Know that if you’re raising teens, it’s a whole other ballgame.

And if you can’t go out, bring the out in.

Just keep in mind there is in fact light at the end of the tunnel.

This Dad and Daughter Are the Cheerleaders We All Need Right Now

Roland and Jayden Cheerleading
(Instagram/rolandp90x)

Enthusiasm is vital now more than ever. In these trying times, it’s good to know that there are people still leading the cheers, rallying the pep, and reminding us all to be aggressive, b-e aggressive.

Roland Pollard of Dallas, Texas is a former cheerleader who ingrained a love for the sport in his 4-year-old daughter, Jayden. Together, the two are putting their time inside to good use by showcasing their jaw-dropping routines on Instagram.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Roland Pollard (@rolandp90x) on

“When I found out I was having a daughter, this is exactly what I imagined,” Pollard said in an interview. “We do the routines for fun and share them with the world because I feel like not enough people give dads credit. I have never dropped her! She trusts me with her life, and that definitely adds to our bond.”

In one particularly intense video, Roland tosses Jayden up to execute an impressive 12-second handstand.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Roland Pollard (@rolandp90x) on

In another jaw-dropping test of balance, the duo… well… let’s just say the “high five, lil mama” at the end here is completely justified.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Roland Pollard (@rolandp90x) on

We’re floored, to say the least.

“Thank you all for watching these videos of me passing down knowledge to my daughter,” Roland writes in the caption. “She loves when I read her all of the comments and they make her feel like a little Star.”

Follow the Pollards on Instagram here to watch Jayden on her dad continue bringing the cheer!

Quarantine Relief: Netflix Isn’t Foolin’ Around With Their April Releases

Netflix April 2020 Releases
(Warner Bros/Columbia)

While we’re pacing about indoors, for the time being, it’s comforting to know that we’re fortunate to live in the golden era of quality, readily available content. If you’ve already blown through the movies that Hollywood released early on digital platforms – don’t head for that bookshelf just yet, because here’s a crop of solid movies available to stream this April on Netflix.

Bloodsport (April 1)

One of Jean Claude Van Dam’s first starring roles is truly a sight to behold. It’s garnered a cult following for good reasons: entertaining-as-hell fight sequences punctuated with performances so laughably atrocious you’ll just have to see for yourself. Plenty of chops in this movie and none of them pertain to acting. Fun watch.

Lethal Weapon 1-4 (April 1)

The buddy cop flick to define all buddy cop flicks. Catch up with Riggs and Murtaugh as they butt heads, withstand explosions, and awaken memories of the endlessly quotable dialogue that made the franchise a hit, to begin with. “Grab the cat,” “I’m getting too old for this shit,” it’s all in there.

The Matrix 1-3 (April 1)

What’s left to be said about The Matrix? A massive technical achievement by the Wachowskis, bar none the most influential and groundbreaking work of science fiction in the age of online. The sequel and third one will also be available to stream. They are, um, also green.

The Social Network (April 1)

A movie about the website that gave us Farmville has no business being as good as this is. For starters, you have the unparalleled David Fincher (Fight Club, Se7en) in the director’s chair. On script, we got walking masterclass Aaron Sorkin (Moneyball), king of snappy, riveting dialogue. Even the music from Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails) is immaculate. Keep an ear out for his haunting rendition of Edvard Grieg’s “In The Hall Of The Mountain King” during a super intense rowing match.

Taxi Driver (April 1)

It’s… it’s Taxi Driver. C’mon now.

The Killing of a Sacred Deer (April 5)

This should be top of the watchlist for any psychological thriller buff. Colin Farrell plays a surgeon who befriends the deeply disturbed kid of a patient he lost. This kid is so weird and unnerving, but to disclose why would ruin the surprise. A suffocating, creepy slow-burn fit for any fan of cerebral horror.

Django Unchained (April 25)

The above gif should tell you everything you need to know.

MORE THINGS DROPPING IN APRIL

4/1

David Batra: Elefanten I Rummet
How to Fix a Drug Scandal
The Iliza Shlesinger Sketch Show
Nailed It!: Season 4— NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Sunderland ‘Til I Die: Season 2 — NETFLIX ORIGINAL
40 Days and 40 Nights
Cadillac Records
Can’t Hardly Wait
Cheech & Chong’s Up in Smoke
Deep Impact
God’s Not Dead
Just Friends
Killer Klowns from Outer Space
Kim’s Convenience: Season 4
Minority Report
Molly’s Game
Mortal Kombat
Mud
Pokémon the Series: Sun & Moon: S3: Sun & Moon – Ultra Legends
Promised Land
Road to Perdition
Salt
School Daze
Sherlock Holmes
Soul Plane
Sunrise in Heaven
The Girl with All the Gifts
The Hangover
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
The Roommate
The Runaways
Wildling

4/2

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
Violet Evergarden: Eternity and the Auto Memory Doll

4/3

Coffee & Kareem— NETFLIX FILM
La casa de Papel: Part 4 — NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Money Heist: The Phenomenon — NETFLIX FILM
Spirit Riding Free: Riding Academy — NETFLIX FAMILY
StarBeam — NETFLIX FAMILY

4/4

Angel Has Fallen

4/6

The Big Show Show — NETFLIX FAMILY

4/7

TERRACE HOUSE: TOKYO 2019-2020: Part 3 — NETFLIX ORIGINAL

4/9

Hi Score Girl: Season 2 — NETFLIX ANIME

4/10

Brews Brothers — NETFLIX ORIGINAL
LA Originals — NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY
La vie scolaire — NETFLIX FILM
Love Wedding Repeat — NETFLIX FILM
The Main Event — NETFLIX FILM
Tigertail — NETFLIX FILM

4/14

Chris D’Elia: No Pain — NETFLIX COMEDY SPECIAL

4/15

The Innocence Files — NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY
Outer Banks — NETFLIX ORIGINAL

4/16

Despicable Me
Fary: Hexagone: Season 2 — NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Fauda: Season 3 — NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Hail, Caesar!
Mauricio Meirelles: Levando o Caos — NETFLIX COMEDY SPECIAL
Jem and the Holograms

4/17

Betonrausch — NETFLIX FILM
#blackAF — NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Earth and Blood (La terre et le sang) — NETFLIX FILM
The Last Kids on Earth: Book 2 — NETFLIX FAMILY
Legado en los huesos — NETFLIX FILM
Sergio — NETFLIX FILM
Too Hot to Handle — NETFLIX ORIGINAL

4/18

The Green Hornet

4/20

Cooked with Cannabis — NETFLIX ORIGINAL
The Midnight Gospel — NETFLIX ORIGINAL
The Vatican Tapes

4/21

Bleach: The Assault
Bleach: The Bount
Middleditch & Schwartz — NETFLIX COMEDY SPECIAL
Middleditch & Schwartz: Dream Job
Middleditch & Schwartz: Law School Magic
Middleditch & Schwartz: Parking Lot Wedding

4/22

Absurd Planet — NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Circus of Books — NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY
El silencio del pantano — NETFLIX FILM
The Plagues of Breslau — NETFLIX FILM
The Willoughbys — NETFLIX FILM
Win the Wilderness — NETFLIX ORIGINAL

4/23

The House of Flowers : Season 3 — NETFLIX ORIGINAL

4/24

After Life: Season 2 — NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Extraction — NETFLIX FILM
Hello Ninja: Season 2 — NETFLIX FAMILY
Yours Sincerely, Kanan Gill — NETFLIX COMEDY SPECIAL

4/25

The Artist

4/26

The Last Kingdom: Season 4 — NETFLIX ORIGINAL

4/27

Battle: Los Angeles
Never Have I Ever — NETFLIX ORIGINAL

4/29

A Secret Love — NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY
Extracurricular — NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Murder to Mercy: The Cyntoia Brown Story — NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY
Nadiya’s Time to Eat — NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Summertime — NETFLIX ORIGINAL

4/30

Dangerous Lies — NETFLIX FILM
Drifting Dragons — NETFLIX ANIME
The Forest of Love: Deep Cut — NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Rich in Love (Ricos de Amor) — NETFLIX FILM
The Victims’ Game — NETFLIX ORIGINAL

Little Girl Feeds Her Baby Brother

Little Girl Gives Heartwarming Reactions To Her New Barbie Doll

Grandfather Breaks Hip Mowing Lawn, EMTs Return to Finish His Yard Work

EMTs Finish Mr. Storelee's Yardwork
(Twitter/AidenMartin15)

Emergency medical technicians are a diligent bunch. They’re more than just strong stomachs and a lift to a hospital. They’re couriers of comfort. They’re effective communicators with the newly traumatized. They’re quick thinkers. They bear the responsibility of split-second, life-and-death decisions. And truth be told, they look damn good while doing it.

But some EMTs surpass expectations. Case in point: the West Thurston Regional Fire Authority in Rochester, Washington.

Harold Storelee, 88, fell down recently while mowing his lawn one morning. He lied in the grass for four agonizing hours before three middle school boys walking by heard his cries for help. They waved down a motorist who promptly dialed 911.

Three firefighter EMTs rushed Mr. Storelee to the hospital, where it was determined he’d broken his hip.

Around 5 p.m., as the EMTs’ workday wound down, Alexander Trautman pitched an idea to his two coworkers. Hey, wouldn’t it be wild if we went back and finished mowing that guy’s lawn?

He and fellow firefighters Miranda Panuska and Garrett Bromley then proceeded to do just that.

“There was no hesitation from anybody,” Trautman said in an interview with The Washington Post. “We talked to our lieutenant and captain, and they were 100% behind it.”

Assuming Ol’ Man Storelee would be out of commission for some time, the trio returned to his house and spent a full hour wrapping up his unfinished yard work. They mowed. They swept. They conquered.

Firefighter Trautman said his team is always on the lookout for ways to help their neighbors beyond urgent medical assistance, be it through buying someone groceries or mending their broken porch boards.

“We look at it like a family community,” Trautman said.

Aiden Martin, grandson of Mr. Storelee, said that the lawn has been his granddad’s “pride and joy of the house” since the passing of his grandmother five years ago. Storelee was delighted to learn that his lawn had been cared for.

Martin added that his grandfather was recommended hip surgery following the accident, and is regaining his ability to walk through physical therapy.

We’d like to wish Mr. Storelee a speedy recovery and commend this rad trio of EMTs for going above and beyond for their community.

Little Girls Flawlessly Ride Hoverboards In Circles

Plane Passengers Help Dad Make It to Father-Daughter Dance on Time

Plane Passengers Help Dad
(COURTESY MIKE GOOD/PEOPLE)

Flight attendants are saints. They routinely endure the anguish of cramped quarters, stale farts, and cabin pressure-induced earaches, just to keep your thirst quenched and pretzel cravings satiated. Some even go the extra mile to add some pizazz to safety briefings with jokes, songs or even dance routines.

But no one, especially Mike Good, frequent flyer and father to seven-year-old fraternal twins, foresaw such a demonstration of goodwill from the attendant and passengers on his flight home to Charlotte.

Mike was returning from a business trip in Nashville when a nasty thunderstorm delayed his flight. Back home, his twin daughters Lucy and Emily anticipated their dad’s arrival for that evening’s father-daughter school dance.

Mike did everything he could to ensure his punctuality, even convincing American Airlines to put him on an earlier flight. In doing so, he forfeited his assigned seating and was relocated to… [shudders]… the back row.

“I was still able to board early, so I got to talking to the flight attendant in the back and I told her I was going to be in the doghouse because I was going to miss my kids’ dance,” Mike said.

Scheduled arrival? 7pm. Time of dance? 7pm.

Mike’s wife was fully prepared to tag in as the plane began its descent into rainy Charlotte. The plane was even forced to circle the airport before landing.

“I was sure there was no way I was going to make it,” Good recalls. “I knew it would take me thirty minutes to get off the plane and then I had about a thirty minute drive from the airport.”

It seemed all hope was lost until the angelic voice of a flight attendant took to the intercom.

“She told everyone there was a dad in the last row trying to make his twins’ father-daughter dance and we’d really appreciate it if you’d let him off the plane so he can get there.”

And let him off the plane they did. After the plane taxied and the seatbelt sign faded, everyone on the plane remained seated, allowing Mike to quickly grab his belongings and make a mad dash for the exit, wishing fellow passengers a Happy Valentine’s Day along the way.

They even cheered him on, according to Twitter user Jenny Hale.

Mike made it to the dance at 7:50, to the surprise of his wife and daughters, and regaled the other dads in attendance with the story of his race against the clock. We applaud Mike for making good on his commitments, as well as the benevolent passengers who helped save the day.