Cartoons You Can’t Watch With Your Kids

(YouTube)

Everyone likes cartoons. I’m not talking about stupid shitty children’s cartoons, I’m talking about adult cartoons. Not like porn, get your head out of the gutter you animal, but like, just cartoons for adults, y’know? With, like, curse words and stuff. You know the ones.

OR DO YOU?! I hope you don’t because otherwise the premise of this article is extremely flimsy!

I’m about to give you a list of some seriously good cartoons to check out (if you are over the age of *insert the age of adulthood wherever you are from*), and, because I’m nice / I need to write some kind of content in order to get this thing published I’m also going to write a mini synopsis and maybe I’ll do a ranking system or something.

Bojack Horseman

Let’s start with something you’ve almost definitely heard about. Bojack Horseman is a Netflix original series about a washed-up actor from the 90s who happens to also be a horse. We join the story 20 years after his hit sitcom has ended and watch as Bojack’s suppressed emotions and substance dependence challenge all of his relationships.

It’s dark, it’s depressing, it’s hilarious, and it’s actually pretty clever and deep too. It has a great cast (Will Arnett, Aaron Paul, Alison Brie, Amy Sedaris, Paul F. Tompkins, Patton Oswalt, Kristen Schaal), great soundtrack, and just generally is a great show.

I heartily—that’s right, HEARTILY—recommend this to you.

I haven’t decided on the rating system yet, so I’m going to give this 7 lucky rabbit feet out of 8.

source – Giphy

Archer

You’ve probably heard of Archer, too. But on the off chance you haven’t: Oh my god, what are you doing with your life? Archer is a super-secret agent in the style of James Bond. He’s always drinking, womanizing, and killing bad guys. But what makes him different is that his boss is his mother, and he is basically a drunk, petulant child.

This is another star-studded cast (H. Jon Benjamin, Judy Greer, Aisha Tyler, Jessica Walter, Chris Parnell, Lucky Yates, Adam Reed) who each steal the show regularly. There are nine seasons to get stuck into, which might seem slightly daunting or off-putting, but it is absolutely worth your time.

I give Archer 4 martinis out of 5.

source – Giphy

Big Mouth

Big Mouth is relatively new and could be something that has flown under your radar. It came onto Netflix for its first season in 2017 and has had some seriously strong reviews (it’s got an 8.1 out of 10 on IMDb). Essentially, it’s a cartoon about a bunch of kids going through puberty. It challenges a lot of potentially hazardous topics – masturbation, menstruation, a lot more masturbation – in a pretty funny way, without ever overdoing it. The kids are joined in the show by two hormone monsters that appear and guide them through their respective situations extremely poorly (Connie the Hormone Monstress is incredible).

There is a host of famous voices in this too (Nick Kroll, John Mulaney, Jessi Klein, Jason Mantzoukas, Maya Rudolph, Jenny Slate, Fred Armisen, Jordan Peele). Personally, I’m not a huge fan of Nick Kroll, but this is actually a really well-executed idea.

Let’s score this is a 3 and a half-minute guitar solo by Slash, out of a maximum possible 5-minute guitar solo by Slash.

source – Giphy

The Boondocks

Where do we start with The Boondocks? Firstly, it’s hilarious. It’s seriously funny, it’s very political, and it’s a great watch. It focuses on the Freemans, an African-American family living in a mostly white suburb. The show largely tackles issues of racism and social injustice through some biting comedy and blunt dialogue. Not to overstate it, but the character of Uncle Ruckus is one of the most memorable characters of all time *mic drop*. It also leans heavily on manga and has some really cool stylistic blends.

The show was created by Aaron McGruder and is based on his comic strip of the same name. It ran on Adult Swim for four seasons from 2005, but the fourth season had no involvement from McGruder, so doesn’t really count in my opinion. It’s got a great cast (Regina King, John Witherspoon, Cedric Yarbrough, Gary Anthony Williams, Jill Talley, Gabby Soleil), is extremely well written, and the animation is fantastic.

5 out of 7 horcruxes.

source – Giphy

F is for Family

Another Netflix original, this time from the mind of comedian Bill Burr. In many ways, it seems like your classic cartoon sitcom set up. It’s an angry, disillusioned, Irish-American dad, struggling to cope with the reality of his life not living up to his dreams. It’s like of Peter Griffin or Homer Simpson was upsettingly gritty. It’s set in the 1970s, which gives the show a bit of an angle to tackle the changing roles of different groups of people in society. The show shines an uncomfortable light on racism and sexism, whilst managing to retain humor throughout.

As it’s set in the 70s there is a pretty excellent soundtrack, there is some good writing, and there is a surprisingly deep cast (Bill Burr, Laura Dern, Jesting Long, Debi Derryberry, Haley Reinhart, Sam Rockwell). There are two seasons on Netflix, and it’s been commissioned for a third that should release later in 2018.

I score F is for Family, 11 cups of coffee out of 15.

source – Giphy

Rick & Morty

You have DEFINITELY heard of Rick and Morty. You’ve probably either watched it, or you’ve decided that you’ll never watch it because of those idiots trying to get hold of Szechuan sauce from McDonald’s. Basically, Rick and Morty is a show about a grandfather’s adventures with his grandson. Except the grandfather happens to be a super genius who has perfected interdimensional travel.

It is weird, it is dark in places, it is smart, it is funny, and honestly, it is just an all-round great show. Honestly, Rick and Morty is a show that seems dumb on the surface, and then suddenly an episode finishes and you find that you’ve been thinking about it for hours, days even.

Another show with a great cast of voice actors (Justin Roiland, Sarah Chalke, Chris Parnell, Spencer Grammer), Rick and Morty is aided by brilliant writing and has been driven by the creative excellence of Dan Harmon and Justin Roiland.

9 quesadillas out of 10.

source – Giphy

Happy Tree Friends

To round this thing off, let’s talk about Happy Tree Friends. It’s a show about a bunch of super cute forest animals with names like Cuddles, Flippy, Lumpy, and Giggles, but in every episode is filled to the brim with extremely graphic violence. The Wikipedia page specifically mentioned ‘bloodshed, pain, dismemberment, evisceration and/or death’.

Happy Tree Friends has been going for years. It first popped up in 1999, and there are now 133 episodes in total. 4 seasons have been online and there was one TV season made in 2006. Unlike the other shows mentioned already, Happy Tree Friends has a relatively unknown cast (Kenn Navarro, Rhode Montijo, David Winn, Dana Belben, Aubrey Ankrum). It is also a lot shorter than the other shows, with each episode running at just 1-7 minutes. It’s definitely worth checking out, even if you don’t make it through all the episodes.

I’ll give this 7 bloody acorns out of 10.

source – Giphy

Healthcare Worker and NFL Mom Gets Honored on Madden Cover

Miles Boykin Mom on Madden
(Twitter/MBoykin814)

Over the summer, Baltimore Ravens receiver Miles Boykin tweeted that his mom finally discovered he had used her credit card to pay for his Xbox live membership and that she had been paying it for the NFL player since he was in SIXTH GRADE! But, with some help from Xbox and EA Sports, he made up for it by helping his mom, a healthcare hero, become the first female to grace the cover of Madden.

Madden reigns supreme when it comes to sports video gaming (personally, I’m an NBA 2k and FIFA guy, but you can’t deny the Madden popularity over the years), even if the fabled Madden curse has become but a footnote in history thanks to Patrick Mahomes. And NFL players today, like Boykin, grew up playing Madden.

Still, it’s always funny when a professional athlete with a multi-million dollar contract has his mom paying for his Xbox live membership. He tried to intervene and take over the payments, but she said she might as well just keep picking up the tab.

Boykin appealed to Xbox for help. And they came through, in a big way.

Boykin’s mom, Felicia, is a healthcare worker, so Xbox and EA decided to help Miles show his appreciation for her. She not only received an Xbox Game Pass (so she’ll finally stop getting charged for Miles’ subscription), she also got a copy of Madden with herself on the cover, which will also go to some of her healthcare hero colleagues (along with new Xbox consoles).

Miles also takes the chance to tell his mom how much she’s meant to him and his development.

“You’ve always been there. You helped me become the man I am today and I will forever be grateful to you. I would give you the world if I could and you would still deserve better,” he said. “You not only supported my passion for football but also my second love of gaming.”

She also received a custom Xbox One controller, a pair of new Nike Air Zoom Pulses, and a pair of custom cleats for Miles to wear with her image painted on them.

It’s a great way for Miles to repay a parent, and I will now consider this the threshold for all kids going forward when it comes to recurring subscription fees.

National Museum Helps Oldest Living World War II Veteran Celebrate 111 Birthday

Lawrence Brooks and Victory Belles
(YouTube/The National WWII Museum)

As people who have the privilege of enjoying the freedom and safety of life in the US, we owe a huge amount of gratitude to veterans. Veterans sacrifice their own safety, time with their families, and sometimes their lives to ensure that we are able to live our own lives in relative safety.

Veterans are essential to the sense of security we have living in the US, and we do what we can to show how much we appreciate them. Actor Gary Sinise created a foundation to support veterans and their families in 2011 and continues to provide assistance nearly a decade later. Earlier this year, a 104-year-old veteran received over 70,000 Valentine’s Day cards, from people around the country who wanted to make his day a bit brighter. Now, the world’s oldest World War II veteran is getting the birthday celebration he deserves.

Lawrence Brooks, a veteran who served during World War II in the 91st Engineer Battalion, has been celebrating his birthday at the National World War II Museum in New Orleans since he turned 105. Due to the pandemic (what else is new), the museum had to put together a safe and socially-distanced celebration – and they absolutely did not disappoint.

According to a post they shared on Instagram, the museum arranged a performance by a vocal trio called The Victory Belles, a military flyover, a birthday cake, and nearly 10,000 birthday cards they collected from a national card drive.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

The National WWII Museum celebrated the 111th birthday of Mr. Lawrence Brooks, a New Orleans native and the oldest known U.S. veteran of World War II, at his home last Saturday. In light of the COVID-19 pandemic, we arranged a socially distant birthday celebration. The Victory Belles, performed a series of numbers including “Happy Birthday,” and Mr. Brooks enjoyed military plane flyovers courtesy of the @aeroshellaerobatic and @bigeasywingcaf. We additionally presented Mr. Brooks with a cake and nearly 10,000 birthday cards that were collected as a result of a national card drive. #WorldWarII #worldwar2 #WWIIVet #happybirthday #oldestlivingwwiiveteran⁠ ⁠ Click the bio link and then this image to watch the full video.

A post shared by The National WWII Museum (@wwiimuseum) on


The museum’s vice president, Peter Crean, told FOX News after last year’s celebration, “We absolutely love Mr. Brooks. We’ve told him, ‘As long as you keep having birthdays, we are going to keep having birthday parties for you here.’”

Though circumstances didn’t allow for Brooks to celebrate at the museum itself this year, Crean kept his promise by bringing the celebration to Brooks’s home. The 111-year-old smiled from his porch, surrounded by balloons, a birthday banner, and everyone who came to celebrate with him (from a safe distance). Though Brooks lost his wife Leona in 2005 to Hurricane Katrina, he is surrounded by the love of his five children, 13 grandchildren, and 22 great grandchildren.

Brooks told FOX, “I’ve started to think about not having many birthdays left. But I’m not worried about it, because God has let me live this long already. I think it’s because I’ve always liked people so much. Oh yes, I do.”

Let us throw our birthday greeting onto the ever-growing pile – happiest of birthdays Mr. Brooks, and thank you for your service.

Relationship Argument Leads Couple to $177K Lotto Win

Argument leads to lottery win
(Courtesy Virginia Lottery)

Relationships aren’t easy. There’s always going to be disagreements, arguments, and fights about those arguments. That’s a healthy part of the relationship (assuming those fights aren’t WWE-style), as ignoring problems can just make them worse. For one Virginia woman, having an argument with her boyfriend paid off with a lottery win and hopefully, they don’t argue about splitting it. because the payout was substantially more than the $1 jackpot we previously reported on.

Like, literally, in real money, not in relationship building or coming to a better understanding of each other. Chyanne Creel got into an argument with her boyfriend and they decided to go for a drive to cool off.

When they stopped for gas, she sent her boyfriend inside to buy some snacks (essential) and some lottery tickets (why not?). One of the scratch-off tickets hit the grand prize of $177,777. She won almost $200K because of this fight.

There are some important lessons we can all take away from this. She didn’t elaborate on what the fight was about. Was it about improperly loading the dishwasher? A disagreement about the distribution of household chores? Could they not come to an agreement about what to watch on Netflix?? Who knows what the magical elixir was here? So, the take away is to ignore what popular literature would tell you about not sweating “the small stuff.”

Instead, sweat it, sweat it all. Never miss a chance to argue or fight, and make sure to chase every single argument with a lottery ticket. This is a proven path to success both financially and in a relationship. Is she grinding your gears because she’s hogging the remote? Don’t hold back, because that could be what brings a massive influx of cash into your lives.

I mean, sure, she hit the big prize on odds that were greater than one in a million. So yeah, it may take some time for this path to bear fruit. But even if you don’t deliberately go searching for an argument, at least you know in the back of your head, should you find yourself in a fight, there is more than one way to make-up and get lucky.

Daughter Saves Dad’s Taco Truck With a Tweet

Twitter Taco Plea Saves Dad's Business
(Instagram/taqueriaeltoritoofficial)

The global pandemic has crushed huge swaths of the economy, decimating entire industries. Few have been hit as hard as restaurants, travel, and entertainment. We’ve lost thousands of great, independent restaurants and dive bars, the places that give communities character (along with great meals and memories). And some shops have needed some extra help to stay open in these brutal times.

One of these was a taco truck in Texas. A young woman in Texas had been checking in regularly with her dad, as his taco truck business began to slow to a crawl. One day, after hearing he had only made $6 during a 12-hour shift, she decided to try and help the best way a young person can: by posting about it on social media.

His daughter Giselle posted: “Hey Twitter!! I wouldn’t normally do this, but my dad’s taco truck business is struggling, he only sold $6 today. If you could retweet, I would appreciate you so much!!”

And retweet they did, as it quickly went viral, getting more than 10,000 RTs. And it worked, as he has had more business than he can handle.

His daughter tearfully posted a thank you after customers came in waves until he was sold out. He’s been working ferociously since, as his daughter’s plea to give her dad’s cooking a chance has been heard far and wide.

She said her dad doesn’t understand social media, but “is so grateful for everyone who is spreading the word.”

“COVID has been a nightmare for small businesses, thank you for putting a smile on his face,” she added.

 

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Tortas Cubanas made FRESH to order 💕

A post shared by @ taqueriaeltoritoofficial on

It’s a sweet story of a daughter’s love for her dad helping save his business, but the broader takeaway is just how hard this time is on a lot of people, and the only path forward is for communities to come together to help those who need it most in any way they can.

This LEGO ‘Brickroll’ Is Never Gonna Let You Down

Lego Brickroll
(YouTube/Domy13)

The 80’s was overflowing with great music. With songs like Take On Me by a-ha, Michael Jackson’s “Beat It”, and Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’” still making regular appearances nearly 40 years later, it was undoubtedly a golden age of music. There was one song, however, that has withstood the test of time no matter how freaking hard we’ve tried to avoid it. Some might even say that this particular song is never gonna give us up. Of course, we’re talking about Rick Astley’s iconic “Never Gonna Give You Up”. It’s a fine song, it’s pretty much exactly what you’d expect to emerge from an era fueled by Garbage Pail Kids and cocaine.

Over time, this song transformed into its own beast. Meme culture got its sticky little hands on it, and now it’s virtually inescapable. You’ve likely heard this song way more times than you ever intended to, clicking completely unrelated links only to be hit with the ol’ “bait-and-switch”. The sweeping phenomenon known as the “Rickroll” has been going on for well over a decade, with no sign of slowing down.

Astley himself eventually accepted his meme fame, using a float to Rickroll anyone watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in 2008. In another live-action Rickroll, Astley showed up at a Dave Grohl show and the two proceeded to duet Astley’s inescapable song to over 60,000 fans.

Most recently, a new take on the iconic Rickroll has us conflicted. On the one hand, it’s still a Rickroll – but it’s so impressively done that we kind of love it. If we’re going for accuracy, we should clarify that it’s less of a “Rickroll”, and more of a “Brickroll”. Specifically, a LEGO Brickroll.

In his first Youtube animation, a user named Domy13 created an entirely Lego-based recreation of the iconic ‘80s music video. The detail is incredible – in fact, Domy13 was so confident in his Lego rendition’s accuracy that he even posted a side-by-side comparing his animated version to the original. Regardless of how tainted your opinion of the Astley hit may be, this video is well worth a watch.

Now do Freebird!

Cowboy-Hat-Wearin’ 94-Yr-Old Great Grandfather Conquers Water Slide

Great Grandfather Conquers Water Slide
(Facebook/michaelandmichelle.graham)

Sometimes in life, you just gotta go down a cool water slide into a pool. And if you do it when you’re in your 90s, the levels of badassery are compounded. It was a 94-year-old great-grandfather in Oklahoma who did just that, in a video that has since gone viral and, as the kids would say, “won the internet.”

It’s a cute video, as the family helps up him the ladder and cheer him on the entire way. One of the family members shared the video and said “When your 94-year-old Papa says I’m going down the water slide that means he’s going down the water slide! I love him so much and hope to be half the man he has been through his life.”

He later told the Today Show that he had some trouble explaining to his grandfather why so many people watched the video.

“I said two things that I see. One is people were really excited to see someone of your age still active and doing things. Then the other is there’s been lots of comments, how much people can see the love in the family. And that’s always been a big part of our life. He is the patriarch of the family and everybody gets together and has each other’s back.”

And you know what, he’s pretty much nailed it. It’s not the type of video that’s going to start a conversation or change the way things are done. It’s not going to cancel a celebrity or force a brand to make some serious commercial. It’s just a fun moment, captured by a family and shared with the world, to give you a smile as you scroll through your phone, working your way through another day.

The world doesn’t have enough of those short, joyous moments, so sharing them wide and far is important.

I guess if you wanted to extrapolate some sort of inherent life lesson or assigned meaning to it, you could say, when life presents you with a water slide into a pool, just enjoy the damn slide.

12 Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week 9/18/20

Funniest Parenting Tweets Week of 9-18-2020
(Getty/Star Tribune, Twitter/simoncholland)

Few things are more hilarious than a kid saying or doing something ridiculous, mostly because they often don’t even realize just how funny they are. Even better, if the really embarrassing stuff comes from a kid that’s not yours. Fortunately for us, Twitter parents document the good, the bad, and the just plain absurd. Each week, we collect the funniest parenting tweets for you to enjoy from the comfort of your own home – any messes these kids get themselves into aren’t yours to clean up. Here they are, the 12 funniest parenting tweets of the week.

The backbone of his household

Maybe be more specific next time

I think I’d have the same reaction if I saw whatever that is

You’ve earned it

I bet he’s the coolest kid on the block

Nothing like seeing your kids push themselves to succeed

Uh, you learn something new every day

Jealous?

Sign me up

If you think you’re muted, mute yourself again

Third time’s the charm

You’re doing great

Did you miss last week’s funniest parenting tweets?

New Virtual Camp Aims To Make Gamers Healthier

Virtual Camp for Gamers
(Hybrid ATX)

Gaming. One of the most historically popular methods of leisure. Its benefits are countless: learn problem-solving and social skills, improve focus, memory, and hand-eye coordination. Don’t forget the improvement of relationships. Video games are great! But they do sometimes have negative side effects, be they controller-smashing fits of rage, or addiction, which can lead to lapses in a proper diet, exercise, and exposure to sunlight.

But it doesn’t have to be that way! Now there’s a virtual day camp called Hybrid ATX, where kids can learn healthy habits to amass alongside their gaming ones. Video games foster discipline, and that discipline can easily be used to pick up valuable life skills, according to camp founder Sam Gonzalez.

“We are going to lead by example,” said the 28-year-old Navy veteran in a recent interview. “To show that just because you play video games doesn’t mean you’re rotting your brain and you’re gonna die fat and lonely,”

(Spectrum News)

Along with a team of counselors, kids aged 11-15 can play video games while learning about proper nutrition, the importance of emotional intelligence, and ways to nurture their physical well-being under quarantine. Here you can see Sam leading a group in some jumping jacks, a perfect way to kill time during those pesky load screens.

(Spectrum News)

Hybrid ATX, whose slogan is “Building Better Gamers,” also offers kids lessons on the history and evolution of video games, and teaches them about the industry’s wide array of career opportunities. It’s an inclusive, uplifting environment, dedicated to showing kids that gaming can be a tool for positive change and growth and not just a means for saying abhorrent things to strangers on Xbox Live.

“There’s a lot of online toxicity, raging and really unhealthy behavior that happens,” Sam continued. “So we are looking at how to teach them 1) not to contribute to that, and 2) remove them from that when they see it.”

(Spectrum News)

Now if can just offer a course on showing adult Animal Crossing enthusiasts how to channel their focus into real, actual housework, we’ll be golden.

You can check out the Hybrid ATX website right here, where you can find info about a free orientation week for students!

4-Year-Old Celebrates Cancer Remission With Beautiful Photos

4-year-old beats cancer, celebrates with photoshoot
(instagram/kris_bowden)

There are so many things that we prepare for as parents. We prepare to be sleep deprived for a while, we prepare to send our kids off to school, and one day, maybe even walk them down the aisle at their wedding. One thing we don’t prepare for though (because honestly, it’s too painful to even consider), is for our kids to get sick. In March of 2020, the Bowden family faced the unimaginable – their beautiful, smiley, 4-year-old daughter Lula Beth was diagnosed with cancer.

After visiting the doctor, the family was told that Lula had a Wilms tumor on her kidney, a tumor that turned out to be football-sized. To treat the stage 2 cancer as aggressively as possible, Lula’s tumor was removed along with her kidney. Following the incredibly taxing surgery, the brave little girl faced 13 rounds of chemotherapy in just 22 weeks.

“She flawlessly got through them all and remained the light in our family,” Lula’s mom Kristin Bowden told Good Morning America. “She has not complained once and graciously completed her course.”

In just four short years, Lula has endured more than many of us will endure in our entire lives. Her strength, bravery, and positivity inspired both her family and the world. On August 28, 2020, the Bowden family got the news they’d so desperately needed – Lula was cancer-free.

To celebrate Lula’s journey and clean bill of health, Kristin Bowden, a photographer, staged a stunning photoshoot. The powerful photos have spread across social media platforms, drawing both support and congratulations from around the world.

 

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She did it!!! CANCER FREE 😭🧡😍

A post shared by Kristin Bowden (@kris_bowden) on

Lula, smiling in a brightly-colored dress fit for a queen, holds up a sign. The sign reads, “It came. We fought. I won.” In just six words, Lula tells a touching story. Her smile shows the world that her spirit is stronger and brighter than ever, even after all she’s endured.

Kristin continues to document the emotional journey, with a more recent photo celebrating the removal of Lula’s port – a tube put in place to make it easier for doctors to deliver intravenous medication and fluid.

 

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HER PORT IS OUT! She is D O N E!

A post shared by Kristin Bowden (@kris_bowden) on

Kristin shared an important reminder on Instagram, telling her followers that “No one has a free pass in this life.” Lula’s photos remind us that we are stronger than we think we are – that though we all face challenges in life, we can come out the other side, our smiles wider and brighter than ever.