Tweet Roundup: The 15 Funniest Quarantine Era Tweets From May

May's Quarantine Tweet Roundup
(Getty/E. Audras)

It’s either month three or month 347 of quarantine, at this point, it’s hard to say. With every day feeling like it’s blending into the next, time has more or less lost all meaning. Fortunately for us, humor hasn’t! What better way to pull yourself out of the repetitiveness of life in isolation than to laugh at the absurdity of it all? Please enjoy 15 of the funniest, most relatable tweets about living in the era of quarantine.

Maybe you’ve developed a new self-care routine,

Even though everything seems a little bit harder right now.

Or maybe you’ve discovered new ways to make money,

And taken some time to challenge yourself.

Though being at home constantly can be challenging enough.

It may be helpful to remember that you’re not the only one struggling,

And missing life before all of this started,

Finding little things to keep you going.

But we’re all adapting,

And trying to make the best of it.

Listening to the experts,

Making new friends along the way,

And remembering that it’s ok to treat yourself right now.

Because even though there may be some bumps along the way,

There’s so much to look forward to.

Parenting in the quarantine era is tough, so here are 15 funny parenting in isolation tweets to ease the tension.

Museums Everywhere Tweet the Creepiest Items in Their Collections

Creepy Museum Collections
(Twitter/DHMBerlin/NatSciNMS)

While museums are shuttered, many are continue to engage with the bored and curious masses by way of social media. Even a cowboy museum strengthened its Twitter presence in recent weeks.

But recently, an all-out melee of multilayered cultural histories broke out when the Yorkshire Museum in England challenged curators to share the weirdest, creepiest, most fucked up thing they have on display, using the hashtag #CURATORBATTLE.

LLLET’S GET READY TO CURAAAAATE

In this corner, all the way from Scotland we’ve got a painted whale’s eardrum.

Next up, from the Egham Museum in England, it’s a terrifying broken doll head.

Then there’s this… uh… towel holder. Okay.

Uhh. Over here we have a plague mask right out of a Guillermo del Toro nightmare.

Then you got… action figures… made out of… crab claws? Huh?

Thanks but no thanks. Hard pass on whatever this is.

Oh no. Nope. Not in this lifetime, little man.

Oh.

My.

God.

SHRIMP MOTORCYCLE.

April’s 15 Funniest Tweets About Being Quarantined With Family

April's Quarantine Tweet Roundup
(Getty/MEDITERRANEAN)

It’s easier than ever these days to feel bummed out or overwhelmed with the dire circumstances dealt us. As such, it’s more vital than ever to keep stay grounded and in good spirits. What better way to do that with some relatable humor! Here are 15 of this month’s realest, funniest tweets about living in quarantine with our family.

It’s easy to feel trapped.

And bored.

Like, really bored.

So we’re hoping you’re getting what sunlight you can…

And finding little hobbies with which to occupy yourself.

We’ll get back to life soon enough.

But boy do we miss it!

Granted, it is nice to spend quality time with the spouse.

Hopefully the feeling is mutual!

Close quarters make for all sorts of romantic spark!

Then there’s those kids you had.

Hopefully they’re finding their groove in all this as well.

And making this as easy on you as they can.

After all, you are their homeroom teacher now.

And by God, someone’s gotta teach ’em.

Endgame Directors Celebrate First Birthday by Sharing Rare Footage

Fat Thor Behind the Scenes
(Twitter/Russo_Brothers)

Remember 2019? N-n-no, that’s 2014. You’ve gone back too far. Think hard. 2019, the one with Area 51 flash mobs and “Old Town Road” remixes. Right. Right. Baby Yoda, yes. You’re there. Anyway, can you believe that stuff was a mere YEAR ago?

Among 2019’s offerings of pop culture artifacts, Avengers: Endgame was, by and large, the most iconic. It yielded the highest box office earnings of all time, making nearly $2.8 billion worldwide, surpassing both Avatar and Titanic. How’s that dust taste, James Cameron?!

Filmmakers Anthony and Jay Russo, the brothers behind other Marvel treats such as Winter Soldier and Infinity War, are tweeting out rare behind-the-scenes footage from Avengers: Endgame to celebrate its one year anniversary.

Here are some of our faves:

This vid of Brie Larson, decked out in Captain Marvel threads, first meeting her fellow Avengers is heartwarming to say the least.

Then there’s this silly photo of Joe giving direction to Hulk, pre-motion-capture, and Thor, post-cupcake.

Next, some Russo fam-eos.

They gave props the set designers. Pun absolutely intended.

Here’s a great vid of Chris Evans as Old Cap but also as Chris Evans.

Things got emotional as the shooting began to wrap.

As expected! This crew has provided us with so many memorable moviegoing experiences since Iron Man came out 12 years ago. We already miss them.

Big thanks to the Russos for sharing such pleasant memories. And a happy first birthday to Avengers: Endgame, which we’re still sort of mad at for not making the tagline, “Oh, snap.”

For more Avengers goodness, click here to check out our Dad Grades for Thanos!

36 Zoom Backgrounds to Show Your Co-Workers What a Nerd You Are

The Office Zoom Background
(Twitter/thekitze)

If you’re one of the (extremely lucky) people who get to work from home right now, then it’s likely Zoom has become a major part of your day. And while Karen from finance keeps showing up with a new cat background for every meeting, chances are you’re getting a little jealous. How can you—a three-dimensional human being—show your co-workers that you’re more than your simple work persona? Like Karen, you have likes and dislikes. How can people really get to know the real you?

You could do what everybody does and order a lot of thick, important-looking books and position them just-so in front of your computer. You could strategically place a set of dumbells in the frame and show up to each meeting covered in fake sweat. Or, you could go full-nerd and download one of these awesome Zoom backgrounds so that Karen and everyone else knows you’re a Zoom force to be reckoned with.

John Wick

We’ll kick things off with 4 options from the hit rom-com franchise. Everyone will think you’re the coolest. Except for some guy named Rick who will be like, “What’s John Wick?” and you can flip out full-on assassin-style. Ya know. Work stuff.

Top Gun

Are you feeling the need? The need for a cup of coffee because it’s 3:00 and this meeting has been going on foooreeevveer. This will give you an excuse to play out the joke of sporadically looking behind you like a fighter jet just flew by. Seriously never stop doing that joke.

Star Trek

If you ever wanted to be Mr. Cool in the office, these backgrounds will thrust you to the top spot. Seriously, these are the definition of cool. You’ll be like Travolta from Greece with these super cool, totally not nerdy backgrounds. Everyone at work loves a good Trekkie. Especially if they talk about Star Trek every day. So yeah, do that, Fonzie.

Seinfeld

Wanna not get fired? Interrupt your boss while she’s mid-sentence and be like, “What’s the DEAL with these meetings? Who ARE these people?” It’s the best way to not get fired, trust us.

Parks and Recreation

Channel your inner Ron Swanson and respond to everything with, “I know more than you.”

Star Wars

This one’s fun because it looks like your meeting is way more interesting than whatever is going on behind you. “Oh, hyperspace? Yeah, whatever tell me more about these KPI’s.”

The Office

This is one of our favorites because it’s the only one that will actually make you look like you are in that scene. Make sure to give a lot of Jim-looks to your co-workers.

Schitt’s Creek

Show up to your meetings wearing a different wig each time!

Netflix Originals

And finally, Netflix is so confident in their brand that they aren’t even saying which backgrounds these are. Quite a flex, Netflix.

Avengers: Endgame Audience Reactions Save the Day in Theater-Less Times

Tony Stark Snapping
(Marvel Studios/Disney)

Hey, remember being next to another human being? Like in actual real life and not through a screen? And remember when there was more than one human being — sometimes large groups of them even — congregated together at a place to share a single love for one specific thing? I did some digging and learned that that one such place was called a “movie theater,” and that people would gather to watch giant moving pictures projected on a large wall that told stories for sheer enjoyment. Ah, the olden days.

Back before COVID-19 took its little joyride through the film industry, postponing basically every summer movie (we’re holding out hope for Bill & Ted 3), Avengers: Endgame became the most successful movie of all time (not hyperbole). The build-up was almost ungodly, but the movie straight-up delivered. And if you were lucky enough to snag an opening night ticket, you got to experience something pretty special: people yelling at a screen for 3 hours.

Verified Twitter user Scott Gustin recently posted a fun little thread that reminded us how fun going to the movies can be. Check out the power of cinema at its finest:

Oh, He Be Worthy

If you listen closely, you can actually hear the sound of peoples’ heads exploding. One excited gentleman is hootin’ and hollerin’ like he just heard God tell the funniest joke in the universe. To be fair, this moment was really really reeeeeeally cool. We all knew that if Cap whosoever wielded that hammer, then he’d be worthy enough to possess that sweet Thor power (that’s how it goes, right?)

Thanos Is So Effed

I don’t think even Beyonce could rival this fanbase. When Single Ladies is played at a concert, do people need to be carried out in stretchers (which SURELY happened at this screening)? Do you think our hoootin’ and hollerin’ friend has his voice back yet?

America’s Ass

Ahhh jokes. Remember jokes? Ol’ Cap sure has a zinger here and boy did this crowd eat it right up. Also, remember that time the highest-grossing movie of all time had the guy from Not Another Teen Movie look at his own ass and compliment it? Mr. Hoot n’ Holler agrees with Cap’s assessment in this scene. He concurs and vocalizes as such.

The Ol’ Bait n’ Switch

Tony sure pulled a fast one here. That little scoundrel. Thanos was all like, “Wha-?? Huh??” And Tony was all like, “Over here, fatso!” and THE. CROWD. LOST. ITS. MIND.

Who Run the World?

If this scene doesn’t make you do an involuntary backflip then something is wrong.

The Weep Factory Is Open for Business

Ya know. As cynical as we were when we started this post, you can’t watch a scene like this and not turn into a sniveling pile of mush. Our fearless hootin’ and hollerin’ friend has ceased all hoots and halted all hollers. He is all of us as he conspicuously exclaims, “Oh no way dude” over and over.

RDJ, We Love You

May you eat a million cheeseburgers in Avengers heaven, old friend. Now excuse us while we watch this movie several more times and scream at our own TV in total isolation.

Man Tweets Heartwarming Tribute For Dad Lost to COVID-19

Son's Twitter Tribute to Donald Pijanowksi
(Twitter / John_Pijanowski)

Earlier this month, a professor at the University of Arkansas named John Pijanowski tragically lost his dad, 87-year-old Donald, to Covid-19. Pijanowski took to Twitter to share a touching eulogy for his late pops, who he calls an “unfailingly good man.”

It began with a heartwarming photo of the duo enjoying a day at the ballpark.

It’s understandably difficult grieving under the given circumstances, but John and his family mourned to the best of their capabilities.

John didn’t mince words: his father was a saint walking among us.

He told of Donald’s resilience through childhood.

He carried with him a praiseworthy work ethic.

A man brimming with fascinating anecdotes.

But at the end of the day, he was just a very empathetic, kind old man.

We’re immensely sorry for John’s loss and wish nothing but the best for his family. From this tweet thread alone we can tell that there’s no shortage of happy reminiscence to be had with Donald Pijanowksi.

Here at The Dad, we hope you, your families, and communities stay safe and healthy during the COVID-19 pandemic. For the latest information, please utilize online resources from local public health departments, the Centers for Disease Control, and the World Health Organization to remain as informed as possible.

Head of Security at Cowboy Museum Handed Keys to Twitter Account

Tim Send Tweets
(Twitter/ncwhm)

In these trying times, it’s nice to see folks pull together, helping where they can, doing others’ parts in addition to their own. One hero that’s emerged in recent weeks is Tim Send, head of security for the National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum in Oklahoma.

After the mayor of Oklahoma City declared a state of emergency, the museum closed to the public and various tasks were relegated to employees still able to work. The responsibility of maintaining an active social media presence was entrusted to Tim, whose big heart and unbreakable spirit are needed now more than ever.

He introduced himself with a pic.

He then tried to show us around, unsure of how these newfangled hashtags work.

So he reached out for some pointers.

Well, accidentally.

No progress yet on hashtags.

His wholesomeness is nothing short of heartwarming.

He gave a shoutout to his grandson.

Keeping so positive and encouraging.

Eventually, he figured out hashtags.

Come to find out he has both a sense of humor and a wife named Tina.

And if that’s not sweet enough, he even used the platform to wish his grandkids goodnight.

Click here to follow Tim’s journey into the world of tweeting. We wish him good health and can’t wait for the Cowboy Museum to reopen its doors!

Tweet Roundup: The 15 Funniest Tweets About Being Quarantined With Your Kids

15 Tweets Quarantined With Kids
(Getty/JGI/Jamie Grill)

As parents and kids across the world settle into their new, suddenly sequestered lifestyles, many are committed to finding the humor in it all. You gotta laugh. To help, we’ve dug up 15 hilarious tweets about what it’s like to be quarantined with your kids.

First, get acquainted with your new students.

Don’t worry, you’re in good company!

There’s much to be learned!

It’ll take some time to adjust…

But you’ll learn so much from each other!

So be sure to engage engage engage.

As a parent and teacher, you’ll get double the respect!

Recreate the experience of school to the best of your abilities.

Don’t forget to encourage good hygiene.

Just don’t give up!

Be sure to keep in shape for yourself.

And remember to stock up on fun activities.

Know that if you’re raising teens, it’s a whole other ballgame.

And if you can’t go out, bring the out in.

Just keep in mind there is in fact light at the end of the tunnel.

Twitter Users Share Movies That Traumatized Them as Kids

Twitter Talks Childhood Movie Trauma
(Twitter/BeckettAdams)

When I was a little kid, my parents took me to see Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. I remember my father putting his hand over my eyes during the KALIMA scenes in which Mola Ram forcibly extracted someone’s beating heart from their chest. I don’t recall my dad covering my eyes two years later when they took me to see something else come out of someone’s chest in Aliens.

I survived those two movies, and I credit my parents for taking me to them at such a young age. They were pretty liberal with the entertainment they allowed, and I don’t think it had any negative repercussions (my therapist may disagree). But that’s not to say I didn’t see some movies that put the fear of god in me. Or, in my case, the fear of trees.

That scene in Poltergeist, when the tree outside Robbie’s window comes to life and tries to swallow him whole, gave my nightmares for years. Not least of which because I had a similarly large and gnarly tree right outside my bedroom window.

You never know what’s gonna scare a little kid. For me, it wasn’t chest-bursting aliens, it was window-bursting trees. For people on Twitter who shared the movies that scarred them the most as kids, it was even weirder stuff.

Twitter user @loudandfearless kicked things off, asking the question and then answering it with her own unlikely movie: Robin Williams’ Jumanji.

Then Twitter got a hold of it and things were off and running. I can totally vouch for this one, I saw it as an adult and the transformation freaked me out:

Credit to @OGintheOP for reminding me of this traumatic character:

A bunch of people mentioned this classic:

Some movies didn’t have to be supernatural to be psychologically damaging:

This one will melt your face off:

People continued to chime in, offering up more traditional horror movies like my aforementioned Poltergeist, The Exorcist, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Jaws, The Birds, and The Shining.

My favorite response might have been this example tho:

What movies scarred you as a kid?

The Airplane Seat Recline Debate Takes Flight

Airline Seat Recline Debate
(Getty/Digital Vision.)

Flying sucks! It just does. It’s expensive and uncomfortable and stressful and despite its ability to get you farther away faster than any other mode of transportation, it’s time consuming! You have to get to the airport super early to make it through the long security lines, and then you have to sit at your gate and pray your flight isn’t delayed – again.

Again, it still remains the easiest way to travel long distances, so it’s often a necessary evil. We are all forced to fly every once in a while, and, unless you’re lucky enough to afford first class, the best you can hope for is an empty seat next to you, or at least a smooth, uneventful flight with courteous passengers.

That’s not quite what happened on a recent American Airlines flight.

A woman took to Twitter to share her experience after she got into a confrontation with the passenger behind her. Her complaints ignited a debate about airplane etiquette.

Wendi Williams (no relation) was flying from New Orleans to Charlotte. When she landed, she shared a video of a passenger behind her spent the flight nudging the back of her seat, all in protest of her decision to recline hers. He was upset because he was in the last row and was unable to recline his own seat, making her infringement on his territory all the more objectionable.

It’s safe to say that despite the seat’s ability to recline, nobody likes it when the person in front of them reclines their seat.

Meanwhile, the ensuing debate about airplane etiquette raged for days. What’s the etiquette when reclining your seat?

The CEO of Delta Airlines even went on CNBC to explain that reclining is okay, but you should ask first:

Needless to say, people on the internet were not about to stay quiet about this controversial issue.

A prominent tech writer spoke up for people with back issues:

A Hollywood heavyweight spoke up for people who pay to recline:

This guy used the opportunity to shine a light on how terrible airplanes are, to begin with:

I try to never recline if there’s someone behind me, that said I’m not going to retaliate against the person in front of me. But regardless of your personal etiquette, there’s one thing we we should all be able to agree on, whether we’re on an airplane or not: don’t be a dick!

Tweet Roundup: The 13 Funniest Tweets About Valentine’s Day

13 Funny Tweets About Valentine's
(Lyn Hughes/Corbis/VCG/Getty Images)

Some people hate Valentine’s Day, dismissing it as a corporate scam. But that couldn’t be further from the truth! No. Valentine’s Day is a maliciously placed speed bump for your New Year’s commitment to quitting sweets, weakening your defenses to the candy onslaught of Easter Sunday. Oh, you liked those sanely-portioned little chocolates in the heart? Well here’s a WHOLE CHOCOLATE RABBIT.

Anyway, here are 13 of the funniest tweets about Valentine’s Day.

It’s tough being single on Valentine’s Day.

Even though it’s all probably a scam.

It’s still easy to feel alone.

And confused.

And angry.

Putting yourself out there is tough.

So be mindful of the silver linings.

And spread what love you still can.

Because once you’re married…

Hooo boy. Once you are married…

Whole different ballgame, my friend.

So enjoy it to the best of your abilities.

Because hey, it could be worse.

Woman Tries to Photoshop Her Way out of Work, Comes up Flat

As you know, the Super Bowl was last Sunday. And despite the fact that this game has been around for over 50 years, and is essentially a national holiday at this point, we still had to go to work on Monday. It boggles the mind that the NFL hasn’t found a way to make Monday a holiday too, so fans of the winning team can celebrate, fans of the losing team can commiserate, and everyone else can nurse their hangovers.

The fact is, whether you officially have the day off or not, some of us are going to take it. And not everyone is going to plan ahead. This means we’ll need solid excuses, something besides “I wore a beer helmet and ate 7 bags of Doritos.” I can’t help you with a doctor’s note, but I can tell you what not to do.

What this woman did.

A few weeks ago, Twitter user Syd the Kid (@sydneyywhitson) hopped online to complain about a coworker who is apparently known for frequently bailing out of work at the last minute. She had just done it again, and in an attempt to justify her absence, she used car trouble as an excuse. Specifically, she told her boss that there was a nail stuck in her car tire, and she sent along a photo to prove it.

Unfortunately, the photo was, shall we say, a tad suspect.

Here’s hoping this person’s job doesn’t involve Photoshop because she’s not very good at it.

It didn’t take long for Twitter to roast Syd the Kid’s coworker for her half-assed attempt at getting out of work.

Some cracked jokes:

Some offered their own Photoshopped effort:

Some even generously donated actual pictures of car trouble for use the next time she’s in a pinch:

Let this be a warning to anyone using a flimsy excuse and bad graphic design skills to get out of work. And someone please start a petition to make Super Bowl Monday a national holiday!