Anyone who’s worked in the corporate world knows the sweet solace of the bathroom stall. Sometimes you just need some alone time, all under the guise of a good old fashioned deuce-dropping. And it’s the perfect cover because who in their right mind is going to “check your work” when it comes to bathroom trips?
Well, one company is sick and tired of slackers posing as crappers and is officially enforcing a “smell check” to make sure those folks are truly not full of shit.
Employees taking long breaks
If in bathroom for more than 10 minutes, a smell check will be completed to ensure employee not sitting on phone,” the first part of the sign says. “If it does not stink, employee’s name will be reported to office,” the second part warns pic.twitter.com/LXvHzY4Lbh
— Rajeev Agrawal (@FattyMotu) December 14, 2019
According to a photo taken by an employee, any bathroom trip that takes longer than 10 minutes will be subject to review.
“A smell check will be completed to ensure employee not sitting on phone,” the sign threatens. “If it does not stink, employee’s name will be reported to office.”
We, along with many commenters, have so many questions. First of all, which employees are getting “poop police” added to their job description? That can’t be a voluntary position.
Also, won’t this be the death of the courtesy flush? God forbid…
But the resounding response was for Rajeev Agrawal (who tweeted the image) to give up the employer’s name so they could be properly canceled, as is customary in this day and age.
“Somewhere in the US,” he replied, “will share details when I get the same. But this is true.”
Somewhere in US, will share details when I will get the same.
But this is True
— Rajeev Agrawal (@FattyMotu) December 17, 2019
Of course, things could be worse. Workplaces could be installing toilets that actually cause you discomfort for sitting for too long. OH WAIT, THAT’S HAPPENING, TOO.
Backed by the British Toilet Association (BTA), the StandardToilet is designed to discourage employees from lingering too long in the stalls and has already received a lot of interest from local councils and motorway service stations in the U.K.
Developers say the 13-degree slope mimics a thrust squat position, putting increased strain on the user’s legs over time. It’s perfectly safe, but you’ll need to hurry things along if you’re the type who skips leg day.
It’s hard to believe that the Orwellian future we’ve been afraid of would arrive in the form of toilet restrictions, yet here we are.
JUST LET US POOP IN PEACE, PEOPLE.