“My favorite part of parenting is that kids are born knowing absolutely nothing. A completely blank canvas. It’s amazing. That means I get to be the one to show them everything for the first time.
I showed them gigantic balloons lit by fire that hold people in a tiny basket and float up into the sky. They didn’t know that existed. I got to be the one to show them that magic. Now when they look at hot air balloons, they think of me.
It’s not just big things. My son didn’t know that if you cup your armpit and flap your elbow like a chicken wing that it makes fart noises. Sure, my daughter found out on her own that ketchup is good. She found out that French fries are good. But I was the guy who showed her what they taste like together. I showed my kids those things so now I’m a goddamn hero.
I introduced my kids to Back To The Future. They didn’t know that movie even existed. Do you know how incredible that feels? To be the person to tell someone that Back To The Future is a thing?”
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