I know it’s January. Hear me out. This is a story about my dad. I won’t leave you sitting at your desk in tears. That’s not my dad’s style. My dad is a normal guy minus the fact he doesn’t know what a Facebook is and he still carries a flip phone. My dad is the funniest man I know. Do you need a good laugh after you leave a funeral? Call my dad. Is it your time to get your prostate examined? Please, call my dad and put him on speaker phone. He won’t sit in the room with you but he’ll be sure to get you and your doctor to laugh as you get two fingers…
Let’s get back to Halloween.
Halloween is the one day of the year you can be anyone. It’s the one day you are not who you were born to be. You can slip out of your own clothes and into someone else’s. You can be dead. You can be a fictional character brought to life. You can be a celebrity. You can even change from a human, if you really wanted to.
You can attempt murder on Dan Marino because he didn’t place the football with THE LACES OUT. He forced me to miss the kick – thus, losing the game – in the final play of Super Bowl XVII against the San Francisco 49ers.
I, Julie Burton, became a man on Halloween. I became Ray Finkle from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. My husband was Lois Einhorn.
The biggest shocker I learned on Halloween night – this night, on the one day of the year you can be anyone. On the night you are not who you were born to be. YOU GUYS – I BECAME MY FATHER.”
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