“I met my husband when I was finishing up college and he was a new grad. At that time his plan was simple: don’t plan.
Josh didn’t want a committed relationship at first because he wanted to be able to take a journalism job anywhere in the country. Settling down and having kids weren’t even on his radar at that point.
He was smart. Interesting. Talented. Driven. Funny. I was smitten, and I wanted him all to myself so we could have all the babies forever and ever. I’d have to settle with seeing him every few weeks, as we lived a couple hours apart after he got a newspaper gig in the region.
I’d learn that he was an only child, raised by his mom and later his stepdad after his dad split the scene when he was just a toddler. Josh’s dad lived around the corner from him his whole life, but never made parenting a priority. His dad only went to one of his high school basketball games, and then only because the other team had his boss’s son on it.
Josh didn’t hold a baby until I forced a friend’s infant into his arms later into our relationship.
I pushed for all the major life steps we took: getting engaged, married, and then having our two children. He would tell you that he was happy those things happened, he just didn’t have that plan for them that I did.
Here’s the crazy part: He is the BEST dad. I’m talking the kind of dad who does all the cooking and makes his kids eat the veggies. The gentle disciplinarian and calm voice of reason. The goodnight snuggler. The Barbie player with his toddler girl. The bike pusher. The homework project helper.
Stereotypes about dads not sharing parenting duties equally shudder and die at my husband’s disgustingly unkempt feet.
I’m pretty sure our kids think the sun rises and sets on Daddy’s slightly graying head. He’s that awesome.
Josh says he learned from his dad who he didn’t want to be.
My husband is proof that you don’t have to have a great dad to be one, and you can not plan all you want, but that won’t stop your future wife from handling that shit for you.”
Samantha Taylor, Walking Outside in Slippers
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