Sometimes, technology goes too far. Sometimes, like Ian Malcolm said as Jurassic Park melted down all around him, we get so preoccupied with being able to do something that we don’t consider whether or not it’s a very good idea.
Now, in this case, no one is going to be eaten by a dinosaur, but the point still stands. Technology giveth, and technology taketh away.
I’m talking, of course, about Air Pods. Apple’s wireless earbuds that nestle in your earholes and connect to your phone via BlueTooth, so you no longer need to worry about that pesky cord! No more annoying untangling, no more painful yank outs; with air pods, your music is truly portable and is chained to nothing.
It’s bliss. Until it backfires. Until you forget to put one of your pods – or one of the countless knockoffs – back in its charging case, or back in your pocket. Or one simply falls out. And suddenly, poof, it’s gone. The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world things just stay in our ears, no problem.
Well now there’s a solution to this issue, to ensure that you never lose one of your Air Pods again! Because technology knows no bounds.
This new invention, called “straps,” connects your pods to long cords of nylon or leather, so that they can’t just pop loose out of your ear and out of your life. They even have a “magnetic lock [that] snaps the AirPods around your neck.”
Will wonders never cease!
Haters will tell you that these “straps,” being sold by a company called Tapper, defeat the purpose of Air Pods, eliminating their portability and reducing them back to the wired headphones we lived with back in the dark ages of 2015.
And the haters are right! These things are idiotic. But hey, no one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public! So something tells me Tapper is going to be raking in the cash this holiday season. With models ranging from around $30 to $90, they’re cheaper than replacing your lost Air Pods.
But you can’t buy back your dignity.