In 2016 legendary Twitter funny man David Hughes, more known for his literary criticism and popularizing the word “fucken” than sharing baby pics, had a son. But David had been teaching his followers the nuances of good parenting for a long time before that.
Here are the parenting tweets, the brutal and fucken hilarious parenting tweets.
Important dadding issues were addressed, such as abandonment…
[at the mall]
"Excuse me? I lost my son. Can I please make an announcement?"
[leans in to mic]
"Goodbye you little shit."
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) May 9, 2014
The importance of knowing what day it is...
Wife: don't forget to pick the kids up from school
Me: it's Saturday, they're both upstairs
Wife: it's Wednesday & we have 3 kids
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) September 30, 2015
The value in teaching your kid the arts...
[son hands me a picture he painted]
Me: what's that
Son: it's our house
Me [walks outside with son]: do you see how it absolutely isn't?
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) August 31, 2017
The need for a good education...
Son: daddy is the moon just the sun with the lights off
Me [deep sigh]: when I drop u off at school do you just go sit in a fucken field?
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) February 25, 2016
Always being there for your child...
"We need u to come pick yr son up from school."
"Ugh. Whats he done now?"
"Nothing. Its nearly midnight."
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) June 8, 2015
Teaching your child about the wonders of nature...
[giving tour of zoo]
Kid: how long is a giraffe's neck?
Me: long as fuck
Kid: how many feet though?
Me: he's got 4 feet & a long fucken neck
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) November 3, 2015
Playing with your children…
Wife: Why is there a bouncy castle in the garden?
Me out of breath with no shoes on: I'm not sure.
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) November 7, 2014
Being an attentive father...
Wife: can u pick the kids up from school?
Me blowing on the coffee in my 'Worlds Best Dad Quarter Finalist' mug: which school do they go to?
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) November 23, 2014
What could go wrong?
Follow @david8hughes on twitter for more invaluable lessons in fatherhood.