The human race is responsible for some truly incredible achievements: we put a man on the moon and created Ultimate Tazer Ball.
If that last example threw you for a bit of a loop, boy howdy, buckle up, because I’m about to teach you a thing or two about one of the greatest sports of our age.
The origins of Ultimate Tazer Ball (UTB) go back to 2012 when true American geniuses, Leif Kellenberger, Erik Wunsch, and Eric Prumm, recognized the severe lack of modern weaponry in modern sports. In light of this revelation, they amalgamated a game with elements of both football and rugby. . . and actual frickin’ stun guns.
This game of kings is played on a 200 x 85-foot field with two teams of five players each trying to deposit a giant (24-inch diameter) ball into the opposing goal. No pesky dribbling necessary but you can literally be tazed at any time by an opponent.
The stun devices emit a current of three to five milliamps, enough to cause a localized muscle spasm or two but no permanent damage to any of the body’s vital organs.
Official games required waivers to be signed and medical assistance to be at the ready, but that’s the case with any sport really worth playing, right?
Unfortunately, as of 2015, UTB doesn’t exist anymore in any formal sense. Their website has even been scrubbed from the internet.
Weird how people somehow construed the sport to be “dangerous” and “ridiculously stupid,” but then again, greatness isn’t meant for everyone. Just the worthy.