Weekly Web: A Collection of Funny Things

(Twitter/simoncholland and Getty/Nedezhda1906)

You did it, you made it to Friday! Here’s your round-up of random funny stuff from around the internet this week to launch you into your weekend. (Does anyone know if-if there are any big important sporting events this weekend?)

Funny Video:

No one on Jeopardy knows about football. What is sports, Alex? No, seriously though. No, that’s not my answer. I’m genuinely asking and I’m scared.

No one on Jeopardy knew anything about football 😂 pic.twitter.com/EomJWawkWF

— Yahoo Sports (@YahooSports) February 2, 2018

Comic:

Sadly, too real.

Toon of the day is captioned by @brycoo 🙂 pic.twitter.com/hiIrnJS1Mq

— Beck (@new_toon) February 2, 2018

Joke/Meme Trends:

The joke trend of the week on Twitter seems to be making up fake meanings behind “what your kids are texting” and some are pretty funny.

Is your child texting about the War of 1812?

LMAO – loyalist militia attacking ohio
WTF – warn the federalists
SMH – send more horses
GTG – garrison troops guarding
FML – fort mackinac liberated
BBW – british burning washington

— Alex with an ex (@psybermonkey) January 25, 2018

Are your kids secretly Republicans? Check their social media messages for these tell-tale signs…

LMAO – Limit Minorities Around Ohio
BTW – Build The Wall
IRL – I Repudiate Lefties
ROTFL – Rights Of The Females?: Less
WTH – Withhold The Healthcare
GOP – GOP
OMG – Oh My Guns

— Todd 'Papi' Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) January 31, 2018

Is your child texting about snacks?
A quick guide:

GTG – got them goldfish
LOL – lots of lay's
WTF – wheat thins forever
STFU – save takis for us
LMFAO – losing my funyuns all over
IMO – i'm munching oreos
BBL – bring bugles later
WYD – want your doritos?

— Terry F (@daemonic3) January 30, 2018

Is your child texting about frogs?

A guide:

FML – frog my life
WTF – where’s that frog
STFU – shut that frog up
LMFAO – listen Mom frogs are outstanding

— Boog (@BoogTweets) February 1, 2018

Are your kids texting about Groundhog Day?

A quick guide:

NSFW – Never Settle For Winter
THOT – That Hog On Time?
WTH – Where's The Hog
OMG – Ooooh Majestic Groundhog
ASAP – A Shadow Again? Poop
BRB – Bring the Rodent Back

— Jordan Stratton (@jordan_stratton) February 2, 2018

Kids these days and their secret codes, I tell ya.

Funny Animal:

That's some nice calligraphy you've got there… pic.twitter.com/NlAjZao7Ac

— Ben Brainerd (@ben_brainerd) February 2, 2018

Anyone with a cat knows they will ignore you right up until the moment you’re trying to accomplish something. Thems the cat laws.

Funny Dad:

Simon Holland is one of the funniest dads on the internet, and he tells us what it really means to “go full dad.”

You haven't gone full dad until start reading a historical marker plaque out loud to your uninterested kids.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 20, 2016

Just went full dad and went outside to get firewood in my underwear and a pair of boots.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 18, 2015

Went full dad at the grocery store and bought beer and 3 different kinds of BBQ sauce but forgot the go-gurt.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 10, 2015

One time I asked a rival dad what size filter his HVAC system used in front of a bunch of people.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 15, 2018

Funny Commercial Spoof:

Here at The Dad, our team made a video all of us parents can relate to, big time.

It’s had such a good response, we talked to ABC News about it.

Have a good weekend, dads! Kick back and enjoy the Super Bowl. And by all means, take AphukenbrakE.

Artist Wife Illustrates The Drastic Ways Her Husband’s Life Changed After Kids

By Jordan Stratton

11 hours ago

Chen Weng, an illustrator who goes by the name The Messycow, has created a series of comics showing just how much things change when one becomes a father.

Which do you relate to most?

Check out more from this series on The Messycow’s Facebook page and website.

Dad Dinosaur: Prehistoric Reunion

By The Dad

12 hours ago

Dad Dinosaur’s high school reunion is fast approaching, but will he be able to win the big dance contest – or are his moves stuck in the past?

Subscribe to The Dad on Youtube

Father Figures: Risky Business

By Mike Julianelle

1 day ago

“As the garage door closed behind me, I heard a muffled whimper.

“What is that?” I wondered. Another whimper and I noticed eight fingers on the lid of one of the garbage cans in the corner. I spy a set of eyes, then a nose and finally my oldest son’s face.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

“What happened? Where is your brother?” No answers, just sobbing.

He moped toward the door and I followed him into the kitchen. I half-expected to see CSI investigators hovering over a chalk outline.

We walked around the corner by the refrigerator, and only then did I see his brother and allow myself to take my first breath. Then I saw a hole in the drywall the size of a young boy’s torso.

They had been running & sliding, in their stocking feet, across the marbled kitchen floor. Obviously a bit too exuberantly! I was relieved that they were both okay, but I still mustered enough anger to quash any future escapades.

Each blamed the other, of course. I used to say I couldn’t always tell when my kids were lying, but I could always tell when they were telling the truth.

If that makes any sense to you, I’m guessing you’ve raised at least two boys.”

Ron Fuller

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Crap Alert

By The Dad

2 days ago

“I farted…and a bit came out.”

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Son Surprises Ailing Dad With Tickets To College World Series

By Mike Julianelle

Father’s Day is a special time to celebrate your old man, and show him how much you appreciate the role he’s played in your life all these years. Especially since, as we get older, our dads do too, and they may not have many Father’s Days left.

Matt Lea recognized that this Father’s Day, and so went out of his way to make it a memorable one, for both him and his father, both former college baseball players who bonded over the game as Matt was growing up.

Matt’s father Billy suffers from Alzheimer’s Disease, and the symptoms have been accruing rapidly. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t time for more memories, and Matt used the latest Father’s Day as an opportunity to do just that. The 36-year-old drove 12 hours, from Florida to Mississippi, and surprised his parents at their doorstep on Sunday.

He was bearing gifts as well, bringing his dad the jersey of his favorite baseball team, Mississippi State. But that wasn’t all. Matt brought tickets too, to see the College World Series in Omaha in person.

In video of the exchange that Matt posted on Twitter, his dad was clearly taken by surprise.

Surprised my dad today to tell him I’m taking him to Omaha to watch @HailStateBB play. His Alzheimer’s is setting in fast but I know he’s going to have a blast this weekend. Hail State!!! pic.twitter.com/NTtAxcxxIj

— Matt Lea (@tigr2ndbase) June 14, 2018

“I figured it’s probably not good enough just for us to watch the game here,” Matt says in the video as he produces the tickets. “How about we go to Omaha? Do you want to go up to Omaha and watch the College World Series together?”

“Golly,” an emotional Billy responds. “You’re gonna break my heart, here.”

Matt’s gift for his dad received a rapturous response from Twitter, where it’s been liked 46,000 times and retweeted 11,000 times.

Thanks everyone. I live 12 hours away in Florida now so it took him completely by surprise when I showed up. We can’t wait to get up there. Hate we’ll only be there for opening weekend but it’s going to be a great final trip for us.

— Matt Lea (@tigr2ndbase) June 14, 2018

Matt seemed as surprised by the response as his dad was by the gift, as everyone who celebrated Father’s Day yesterday knows, there’s nothing better than sharing meaningful memories with your dad, which is exactly what Matt did. An article on Omaha.com details Billy’s baseball past, the initial diagnosis of his Alzheimer’s, the VIP experience Matt treated him too over the weekend.

Matt’s Twitter account showcased the rest.

Thanks to everyone that made today something we’ll treasure forever. We have a couple things to do tomorrow before have to head home. @HailStateBB keep grinding and believe. You’re a team of destiny. pic.twitter.com/GamW2sEJ9i

— Matt Lea (@tigr2ndbase) June 17, 2018

Thank you @HailStateBB for everything. You’ve given us an incredible time together. Thank you to all that have offered room/tickets for the rest of the games. Dad needs to get home back into his routine and familiar surroundings. Now go get a championship!!!!! pic.twitter.com/5Y0NNORIoo

— Matt Lea (@tigr2ndbase) June 17, 2018

Happy Father’s Day!

Amazing Street Artist Uses Everyday Objects As His Canvas

By Jordan Stratton

Artist Tom Bob doesn’t see the world like other people. Where you and I might see sewer grates or metal pipes, he sees ghosts and saxophone players.

Check out some of the amazing ways he’s transforming parts of New York City into works of art.

Check out more of Tom Bob and his unique artwork here.

Dad’s Press Conference: Post Father’s Day Wrap Up

By The Dad

…Quantity does not equal quality.

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Father Figures: Heroes

By Mike Julianelle

“On February 2, 2011, my daughter was born. The whole thing started pretty normally about 2:30 am or so, my wife woke me up and said, ‘Honey, it is time to go,’ so we went to the hospital in a snowstorm.

That was the easy part.

When they put the belly monitor on her they noticed that the babies heart rate would drop to low whenever my wife would have a contraction. She needed emergency C-section, but the doctor could not make it due to the storm, and when he finally arrived it was rush rush rush!

Well when my daughter Emily did arrive, she had internal bleeding throughout her body, which included two grade 4 brain bleeds. We could not touch her because she would bruise and start bleeding.

They had to life-flight her to the university, where she spent 5 1/2 weeks in the NICU, which left her (you may want to sit down) deaf/blind, with hydrocephalus, a shunt, cerebral palsy, and seizures (at age 6, she needed a baclofen pump because her CP got too bad to handle without it). She is doing great today. She is happy, loves life, and everyone who meets her says that she makes their day and she is beautiful.

To pay back our little community, I became a first responder, mostly a firefighter, but I did help with EMS. Never got my certification, but that is where I found out that in the U.S. we do not have any training for first responders to deal with children with special needs.

I have made it my personal mission to teach first responders about kids with special needs.

I have taken to Emily to every EMS/Fire station in the five counties around me. I have taken her to the police and sheriff’s departments to train them, and now I have a waiting list to get trained.

I don’t know if I am the hero here, but I needed to tell the story.”

– Mike Kuyper

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Low Cost Cosplay Guy Makes The World A Better Place

By Jordan Stratton

Anucha “Cha” Saengchart, the genius behind “Low Cost Cosplay,” has amassed millions of followers with his incredible reimaginings of famous fictional characters.

Whether you’re planning on portraying your favorite anime character or a Marvel superhero, this guy can show you how to do it effectively and on a string budget.