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Woman Tries to Photoshop Her Way out of Work, Comes up Flat

By Mike Julianelle

As you know, the Super Bowl was last Sunday. And despite the fact that this game has been around for over 50 years, and is essentially a national holiday at this point, we still had to go to work on Monday. It boggles the mind that the NFL hasn’t found a way to make Monday a holiday too, so fans of the winning team can celebrate, fans of the losing team can commiserate, and everyone else can nurse their hangovers.

The fact is, whether you officially have the day off or not, some of us are going to take it. And not everyone is going to plan ahead. This means we’ll need solid excuses, something besides “I wore a beer helmet and ate 7 bags of Doritos.” I can’t help you with a doctor’s note, but I can tell you what not to do.

What this woman did.

A few weeks ago, Twitter user Syd the Kid (@sydneyywhitson) hopped online to complain about a coworker who is apparently known for frequently bailing out of work at the last minute. She had just done it again, and in an attempt to justify her absence, she used car trouble as an excuse. Specifically, she told her boss that there was a nail stuck in her car tire, and she sent along a photo to prove it.

Unfortunately, the photo was, shall we say, a tad suspect.

Here’s hoping this person’s job doesn’t involve Photoshop because she’s not very good at it.

It didn’t take long for Twitter to roast Syd the Kid’s coworker for her half-assed attempt at getting out of work.

Some cracked jokes:

Some offered their own Photoshopped effort:

Some even generously donated actual pictures of car trouble for use the next time she’s in a pinch:

Let this be a warning to anyone using a flimsy excuse and bad graphic design skills to get out of work. And someone please start a petition to make Super Bowl Monday a national holiday!

Dad and Baby Daughter Sport Matching Tutus for Epic Photoshoot

By The Dad
Dad Wears Tutu for Photoshoot
(Jenn Floyd Photography)

“It’s okay for a manly-man to put on a tutu and play with his daughter,” says 32-year-old Texan, Casey Fields.

(Jenn Floyd Photography)

Casey, a self-professed manly man, and single dad to a 1-year-old girl named Lyla did precisely that. And folks, the results were positively heartwarming.

(Jenn Floyd Photography)
When Jenn Floyd Photography asked for models on their Facebook page, a friend of Casey’s had no choice but to tag him in the comments.

“What the heck,” Casey said. “I’ll do it.”

(Jenn Floyd Photography)

Being a single father to a young girl can be intimidating. Bereft of a mother’s firsthand insight, some men feel societal pressures brought on by conventional gender roles. Other men put on a tutu.

(Jenn Floyd Photography)

“I just put on a tutu and started interacting with Lyla and kind of forgot I was wearing it at all,” he says.

(Jenn Floyd Photography)

The photoshoot went viral, garnering over 50,000 shares on Facebook.

“She is my world,” Casey told Insider. “I consider myself a manly-man, but with her I lose all that and just be her dad.”

(Jenn Floyd Photography)

Casey’s favorite photo from the shoot is the one in which she paws lovingly at his face. “That’s kind of our thing,” he says. “She loves my beard.”

(Jenn Floyd Photography)

We applaud Casey and his eagerness to put a smile on his daughter’s face. Bravo, sir.

Micro Machines Are Coming Back in a Big Way

By Mike Julianelle
Micro Machines Are Back
(YouTube/MassRepeater)

Sometimes, nostalgia goes too far.

As a kid, there were a ton of movies and TV shows and toys that I loved. As a parent, I don’t know if I would feel the same way about them now. Thanks to our current culture’s obsession with resurrecting so many of those properties, I’m getting to find out for sure.

The latest craze to be brought back? Micro Machines. They were super tiny cars. Take a look:

I liked Micro Machines as a kid, but as a dad who is already terrorized by LEGO pieces and action figures and tiny trinkets strewn all over the floor of my house, I’m not sure I need another small toy to add to the mix. Especially one with wheels! At least with LEGO pieces I merely need stitches. If I step on a Micro Machine I might go airborne and end up in traction.

The main claim to fame for Micro Machines, at least as far as I was concerned, was their fast-talking spokesman. You know, the guy with the mustache who spoke super-fast in all their commercials? Apparently his name was John “Motormouth” Moschitta Jr., and he held the Guinness World Record for fastest talker!

Hasbro is working with Wicked Cool Toys to bring the little cars back, and while there aren’t yet any images of what the new Micro Machines will look like, Gizmodo has shared a look at one of the updated playsets.

Again, I’m not entirely thrilled about the prospect of my kids having more tiny toys to lose under the couch and leave on the stairs, no matter how nostalgic they make me feel. But I sure hope they bring Moschitta back to sell them again. That guy could give Eminem a run for his money!

Father Figures: Wouldn’t Trade a Thing

By Mike Julianelle

“Growing up, my dad was in and out of my life.

I would see him occasionally when he felt like it. He was one to make promises and not deliver and time after time I would be let down. It was through all this that I learned exactly what not to do to raise a child. That being said, I wasn’t sure if I would ever be ready for parenthood.

My wife Erin and I married in 2014 and in 2016 our first child, Aiden, was born. The moment I saw him, an overwhelming feeling of love came over me that I never had experienced before. It was one of the greatest feelings ever that you don’t truly understand until you have your first child. Two years later we had our daughter, Emmy. It was another rush of emotions and love; one can’t imagine what life was like before them.

Life isn’t always perfect, but these two kiddos make it all worth it. From running to the door when I get home to laughing nonstop as we play airplane and I chase them throughout the house, there is never a dull moment. I work a lot, being in retail management, so the time I have with them is limited, but I do my best to make every minute count.

I could not do it without the love and support of my wonderful wife, Erin. She is the glue that keeps the family together when I am gone, and the better part of me. She knows how to calm our kids and is always the biggest comfort for them. She plays both mom and dad when I am gone for long periods and does it without a hitch.

They say that the best in things in life you can’t buy and they are right. From teaching your kids to make snow angels, to potty training, playing monster, the snuggles, and everything else in between, they truly are what makes life wonderful.

I will do everything in my power to make sure they are taken care of and that they end up having the best life they can. You can’t give your children the entire world, but as long as you are present, keep giving it all your all, and helping them learn this world you are succeeding!

I wouldn’t trade a thing for fatherhood and I am very blessed and proud to have these 2 kiddos call me dad!”

– Brent Grotjahn

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email [email protected]

Check out the previous editions of Father Figures here.

There’s a Goonies Remake Coming About Teens Trying to Remake Goonies

By Mike Julianelle
Goonie Remake Pilot
(Warner Bros)

The Goonies is a classic movie, the kind they don’t make anymore. It features young kids – pre-teens in some cases – doing dangerous things, saying bad words, encountering violence, and it was rated PG. It’s the kind of thing they made in the 1980s. A kids movie featuring kids acting like kids that kids could watch. (Nowadays, kids basically have Pixar and superheroes, except Batman, who is somehow way too adult.)

People love The Goonies and have been clamoring for a sequel for years, and I’m not just talking about Corey Feldman. Most of these people are now adults who won’t get their wish. After years of false starts, an actual sequel seems unlikely. But in this day and age, a remake was almost inevitable. And it’s getting one. Because Goonies never say die!

Sort of.

Fox has just greenlit a new TV series based on The Goonies, only it’s not a remake or a reboot. It’s about people trying to make a remake? It’s okay, I’m confused too.

Here’s the official word, from Deadline:

After failing to make it in New York and carrying a heavy secret with her, Stella Cooper returns to her distressed automotive hometown to substitute teach. She finds inspiration, hope and ultimately salvation when she agrees to help three students who are pursuing their filmmaking dreams by putting on an impossibly ambitious shot-for-shot remake of one of the student’s favorite movies… The Goonies. Over the course of the season, their passion will inspire a town in desperate need of hope in this love letter to the power of cinema, storytelling and dreams.

Shot by shot remakes aren’t unheard of. Some kids did it with Raiders years ago, a pair of brothers recreated Toy Story 3 over 8 years, and Gus Van Sant directed a shot-by-shot remake of Psycho starring Vince Vaughn, although I think we’d all prefer not to talk about that.

This is a little different, in that it’s a TV show, and it’s fictionalized. This isn’t someone actually remaking Goonies, it’s a fictional TV show about fictional kids remaking Goonies. My head hurts.

The thing that makes Goonies work, aside from the spectacularly treasure-hunt-with-booby-traps story, is the cast, and their chemistry. From well-known names like Sean Astin (Mikey), Josh Brolin (Brandon) and Corey Feldman (Mouth) to the beloved actors who played Data, Chunk, and Sloth (former NFL player John Matuszak), Fox is gonna be hard-pressed to capture that lightning in a bottle again.

Hopefully, they acknowledge that challenge, because it might be fun to watch them try.

Twitter Users Share Movies That Traumatized Them as Kids

By Mike Julianelle
Twitter Talks Childhood Movie Trauma
(Twitter/BeckettAdams)

When I was a little kid, my parents took me to see Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. I remember my father putting his hand over my eyes during the KALIMA scenes in which Mola Ram forcibly extracted someone’s beating heart from their chest. I don’t recall my dad covering my eyes two years later when they took me to see something else come out of someone’s chest in Aliens.

I survived those two movies, and I credit my parents for taking me to them at such a young age. They were pretty liberal with the entertainment they allowed, and I don’t think it had any negative repercussions (my therapist may disagree). But that’s not to say I didn’t see some movies that put the fear of god in me. Or, in my case, the fear of trees.

That scene in Poltergeist, when the tree outside Robbie’s window comes to life and tries to swallow him whole, gave my nightmares for years. Not least of which because I had a similarly large and gnarly tree right outside my bedroom window.

You never know what’s gonna scare a little kid. For me, it wasn’t chest-bursting aliens, it was window-bursting trees. For people on Twitter who shared the movies that scarred them the most as kids, it was even weirder stuff.

Twitter user @loudandfearless kicked things off, asking the question and then answering it with her own unlikely movie: Robin Williams’ Jumanji.

Then Twitter got a hold of it and things were off and running. I can totally vouch for this one, I saw it as an adult and the transformation freaked me out:

Credit to @OGintheOP for reminding me of this traumatic character:

A bunch of people mentioned this classic:

Some movies didn’t have to be supernatural to be psychologically damaging:

This one will melt your face off:

People continued to chime in, offering up more traditional horror movies like my aforementioned Poltergeist, The Exorcist, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Jaws, The Birds, and The Shining.

My favorite response might have been this example tho:

What movies scarred you as a kid?

Penny Hardaway Praises Son For His Progress With Autism Diagnosis

By Mike Julianelle
Penny Hardaway and Jayden
(Getty/Joe Murphy)

There is no better parenting emotion than pride in your kids. Watching them accomplish their dreams, or overcome adversity, or even just try something new, can be tremendously moving for any parent, mom or dad, from any walk of life. When your kid perseveres and fights through their challenges, it makes you confident that they are going to be okay, and can handle whatever life throws at them.

It’s even better if the path they take traces the one you took before them.

That’s what former NBA star and current University of Memphis coach Penny Hardaway is experiencing right now, thanks to his son Jayden, who walked onto the Tigers team and recently started his very first game, against UCONN.

Jayden’s accomplishment – playing on a division one college basketball team – would be impressive under any circumstances, but it’s even more special in his case. Jayden was diagnosed with autism as a young kid. He began treatment for the neurological disorder, which affects social, emotional, and communication abilities, when he was just nine years old. In the aftermath of his 7 minutes on the court last week, his father praised him for his progress with his diagnosis.

Professionals at the facility where Jayden was treated are equally proud and using Jayden as a hopeful example.

“It gives parents hope,” Tracy Palm, executive director of Transformations Autism Treatment Center, told WREG in Memphis. “It gives parents that feeling that, ‘It can happen for my child as well,’ and I think that is so important for individuals on the spectrum and their families.”

“Success looks different for every person, so everybody is individual,” Palm said.

For Jayden Hardaway, success is stepping onto the court for the Memphis Tigers.

Crocs to Sell KFC Branded and Scented Shoes

By Mike Julianelle
KFC Scented Crocs
(Crocs/KFC)

That’s right, Crocs, a shoe brand, has partnered with KFC, a fast-food fried chicken brand, to make a new pair of shoes. You can not eat the shoes, they are not made of chicken or vegan chicken. They are actual shoes, actual Crocs, designed with KFC’s colors and images of fried chicken on them.

And they smell like KFC.

Taste of Home has the lowdown on these new limited-edition KFC Crocs, which come in two different sizes, the typical Crocs, and 4.5-inch Bucket Clogs, which are more like platform shoes. Something Tom Cruise might wear in a scene with Charlize Theron.

But the real piece de resistance, emphasis on piece, are the Jibbitz. What are Jibbitz? I’m glad you asked.

According to Taste of Home, Jibbitz, basically bling for Crocs, are mini drumsticks placed on the top of each shoe. They’re scented and removable if somehow the drumstick adorning your KFC-branded Crocs is a dealbreaker for you.

The KFC Crocs will be on sale this spring, on the Crocs website, and should cost around $60 bucks.

The Airplane Seat Recline Debate Takes Flight

By Mike Julianelle
Airline Seat Recline Debate
(Getty/Digital Vision.)

Flying sucks! It just does. It’s expensive and uncomfortable and stressful and despite its ability to get you farther away faster than any other mode of transportation, it’s time consuming! You have to get to the airport super early to make it through the long security lines, and then you have to sit at your gate and pray your flight isn’t delayed – again.

Again, it still remains the easiest way to travel long distances, so it’s often a necessary evil. We are all forced to fly every once in a while, and, unless you’re lucky enough to afford first class, the best you can hope for is an empty seat next to you, or at least a smooth, uneventful flight with courteous passengers.

That’s not quite what happened on a recent American Airlines flight.

A woman took to Twitter to share her experience after she got into a confrontation with the passenger behind her. Her complaints ignited a debate about airplane etiquette.

Wendi Williams (no relation) was flying from New Orleans to Charlotte. When she landed, she shared a video of a passenger behind her spent the flight nudging the back of her seat, all in protest of her decision to recline hers. He was upset because he was in the last row and was unable to recline his own seat, making her infringement on his territory all the more objectionable.

It’s safe to say that despite the seat’s ability to recline, nobody likes it when the person in front of them reclines their seat.

Meanwhile, the ensuing debate about airplane etiquette raged for days. What’s the etiquette when reclining your seat?

The CEO of Delta Airlines even went on CNBC to explain that reclining is okay, but you should ask first:

Needless to say, people on the internet were not about to stay quiet about this controversial issue.

A prominent tech writer spoke up for people with back issues:

A Hollywood heavyweight spoke up for people who pay to recline:

This guy used the opportunity to shine a light on how terrible airplanes are, to begin with:

I try to never recline if there’s someone behind me, that said I’m not going to retaliate against the person in front of me. But regardless of your personal etiquette, there’s one thing we we should all be able to agree on, whether we’re on an airplane or not: don’t be a dick!

These Bootleg Movie Posters are Way Better Than the Licensed Ones

By Jordan Stratton
(Twitter / Retr0Joe)

As important as they may be, movie posters are generally pretty boring. Typically just some headshots of cast members or a cooky visual joke to make them memorable, the advertisements rarely convey much about a film itself.

Interestingly, starting back in the 70s, some not-quite-legal theaters in Africa (specifically, Ghana) preferred to avoid the licensing costs for these movies by showing bootleg versions and, as a result, had to hire local artists to help advertise what’s playing.

Twitter user ‘Retr0Joe’ described the artful practice in a tweet, followed by some of his favorite examples:

“Some artists had no reference to what movie they [were] drawing,” he wrote, “so some just guessed…”

The result is usually something colorful, grotesque, or completely absurd (and often all three).

While initially singular in purpose, the unforgettable works of art from underground movie clubs have begun to attract worldwide attention for their bizarre uniqueness (and hilarious inaccuracies).

β€œThey’re not just film posters – they’re 2m-high, one-off, original oil paintings,” says Karun Thakar, collector and curator behind African Gaze, an exhibition showcasing film posters from Ghana.

But if you want to own one of these massive, often surreal posters for yourself, you’ll have to beat other collectors to them.

Currently, an authentic Ghanaian movie poster can fetch several hundreds of dollars on eBay, but where else are you going to find a poster for 1999’s crime drama “Ghost Dogs” featuring Forest Whitaker fighting a literal group of weaponized ethereal dogs with a samurai sword?

(Photo by Brian Chanklin / Poster by Heavy Jay)