Joel Willis or something you find in dirty diaper. We aren't sure.

Joel Willis

Joel is Executive Editor for The Dad. He is a proud and very tired father of two. He enjoys memes, spending time with his family, and making memes about spending time with his family. Follow him on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.

Man With ALS Walks From His Wheelchair To Hug Son

Heartwarming dad moment from Christy Sanchez:


“My husband has ALS. Our oldest son just graduated from Airforce Basic Training.
We’ve had an extremely difficult few days. The night before graduation my husband ended up in the ER. We were going to miss the ceremony. By the grace of God we made it with about 10 minutes to spare.
My husband wanted to get out of his power wheelchair and walk over to our son who has to stand at attention until someone comes to tap him out.
It was the most beautiful and memorable event I’ve ever witnessed in my life and I will never forget it as long as I live.”

5 Tips For Living A Long Life, As Told To My Kids At Bedtime

(Joel Willis)

At bedtime last night, the convo with my kids drifted to how to live a long life.

On the spot, I came up with the patent-pending “Joel Willis’ Top 5 Tips For Living A Long Life”. My daughter was so interested she wrote them down in the list pictured here. Or as The Dad Deputy Editor Ally Probst said, “lmao that your casual conversations with your kids involve lists.”

Let me break it down.


5. Make friends with good people.

“You become the people you spend the most time with,” my daughter said right away. We’ve been over this before.

Even if you don’t notice it, you’re influenced by the people you hang out with. If they’re good people, it makes it easier for you to make good decisions. And consistently making good decisions is EVERYTHING.

4. Exercise

Never. Stop. Moving.

3. Eat healthy

You are what you eat. Nobody wants to be Ronald McDonald. He’s extremely creepy.

2. Don’t do drugs (includes smoking)

“Why do drugs exist if they’re so bad?” my son asked.

Most drugs were created to help people. Drugs can be used to reduce pain if you had surgery, for example. But if you misuse drugs when you don’t need them, you can die or become addicted, immediately.

1. Be careful with cars

When my kids are irrationally afraid of something and I want to calm them, I tell them, “Statistically you should be more afraid of texting and driving.” Not as effective as you’d think.

Driving is the most dangerous thing most of us regularly do, but we do it so often we don’t take it as seriously as we should. When you’re driving, pay attention. When you’re a passenger, don’t distract the driver. And never get in the car with someone who is a bad driver or shouldn’t be driving. Take it seriously.

Congratulations Phartmonger, Winner Of The Dad’s 2018 AphuckenbrackEt Challenge

The Dad Executive Editor Joel Willis (left) gives a comically large check to 2018 AphukenbrackEt winner Jeff Schamel (right)

Whether or not you’re into college basketball, you’re probably aware there was a little tournament recently that always happens in March that due to overly sensitive copyright restrictions we aren’t allowed to say the name of but rhymes with Starch Sadness.

Here at The Dad, we put on our own bracket challenge, sponsored by AphukenbrakE, the fake pharmaceutical for anyone suffering from PAR*ENT*ING.

Fake sponsor, real contest… very real prize: $4,000. Or a hot tub full of beer. Up to the winner. And after all the games were played and the point were tallied, that winner was none other than… PHARTMONGER. What a time to be alive.

Phartmonger’s real name is Jeff Schamel. We reached out to Jeff to ask him: do you want $4,000 cash or a hot tub filled with beer. Sadly, he took the cash. Another missed photo op opportunity. As it turns out, Jeff lives only 20 minutes from me. OH HELL YEAH. IT’S HAND-DELIVERY-OF-A-COMICALLY-OVERSIZED-CHECK TIME.

I strapped the check to the hood of my car (not really) and met Jeff at a local park. I was pleased to discover Jeff is a super nice, funny guy. Not at all the Phartmonger that I expected. Like all of us dads, he’s got bills to pay. So the money will be put to good use. Nothing could be better than helping a fellow dad in need. Except, perhaps, a hot tub full of beer. Maybe next year.

Congratulations, Jeff.

Kid Skips School To Attend Cubs Game With Principal-Taunting Sign


Reason for absence: baseball fever. Tucker Steckman skipped school to attend the Cubs’ home opener with his parents. In a bold move, he took a sign taunting his principal. The official MLB account tweeted it out, nearly blowing his cover. Luckily they obscured his face.

Moments later, however, Tucker ran into… you guessed it… PRINCIPAL VERSLUIS.

Luckily, the principal was playing hooky too. “I saw him and I was kind of ducking down… I didn’t want him to see me either. I’m here with my son, Aiden, who’s in fifth grade and I called out sick for the day! I haven’t missed a day in six years. I took yesterday off and when the game was postponed due to weather I got special permission from my superintendent to take another day.”

He’s not upset at Tucker at all. “Doesn’t bother me. He’s a great kid. He was student leader of the year. I thought the sign was hilarious.”

Baseball, Family, And Perseverance: A Conversation With Anthony Rizzo

(Getty/Christian Petersen, Getty/Icon Sportswire, BODYARMOR)

World Series. Game 7. Bottom of the 9th. Bases loaded. Lots of kids have fantasized about such a scenario.

Now let’s make some tweaks… It’s still Game 7 of the World Series. But it’s not bottom of the 9th; it’s top of the 10th. You just came off an All Star season in which you were awarded the Gold Glove AND Silver Slugger. On top of all that, your team hasn’t won the World Series in 108 years and your entire city is watching. Oh, and you’re only 27 years old. Imagine that pressure. How would you perform? That was Anthony Rizzo in 2016.

How does Anthony deal with big game pressure? I caught up with the Chicago Cubs first baseman to chat baseball, overcoming adversity, and important father figures in his life.

The love of the game

Whether you’re an athlete or not, baseball’s influence on American culture is undeniable. It means something to all of us. If we close our eyes and think baseball, most of us can imagine the sound of a ball cracking off a wooden bat, or the smell of beer and peanuts.

Before Anthony Rizzo was a professional baseball player, he was a fan. “Going to ballgames and watching the parades coming to town and rooting for your team, or heckling Chipper Jones… It’s fun. Win or lose. You know, I can’t ever tell you what team won or lost when I went to a game; I just know I enjoyed going.”

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Living legend!

A post shared by Anthony Rizzo (@arizz_44) on

A family commitment

Sports have an incredible ability to bond families together, and Anthony’s parents have supported him since the beginning.

“My parents both love it. They love being able to watch me play and they’re happy for me, whether I get four hits or don’t get any hits. They’re just happy to see their son out there.”

Any sports parent knows, raising a young athlete takes sacrifice. “It’s a huge commitment and, you know, I was lucky enough that my parents provided me that and were able to take me to the tournaments. They were able to take me to showcases and dish out the money that they didn’t necessarily have…”

Overcoming adversity

8 years before the 2016 World Series, at age 19, Rizzo was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma. At the same time, his grandma was battling breast cancer. Rizzo underwent 6 months of chemotherapy and beat it. Just 3 years later, on June 9, 2011, Rizzo hit a triple in his debut Major League Baseball game, helping the Padres to victory.

Just over a month later, Rizzo was sent back to the minors. Like always, Rizzo persevered.  “At the moment, when I was getting sent down, I never really doubted myself. I knew I could play. But also, in the moment, you gotta keep perspective in life. When you’re beating yourself up over a baseball game, you tell yourself, Listen, you’re beating yourself up over a baseball game. You know? I’m playing a sport for a living. We’re all very lucky to be doing what we’re doing and I will never take that for granted.” He established the Anthony Rizzo Family Foundation, a non-profit organization devoted to assisting families dealing with pediatric cancer. He was later traded to the Cubs, where he’s played ever since.

“When I was a kid I told my teachers I wanted to be a professional baseball player. I would yell at my dad because he would tell me I could be good enough to play and I would say, ‘No, Dad, every parent tells their kid that. Don’t tell me that.’ But that sort of thing stays with you—when your dad believes in you. And that confidence in your abilities is what gets you through the tough times.”

Peak energy

Last year, Anthony played in 157 games with 572 at bats. That’s a lot. How does he stay energized and in peak shape? “I listen to music pregame. I just make sure I’m hydrated, make sure I get a good meal in and just make sure I’m loose and have a good time. That’s what life’s all about, you know?”

To stay hydrated, Anthony drinks BODYARMOR (a premium sports drink with natural flavors and sweeteners, no colors from artificial sources, and made with coconut water) as part of his daily routine. “I drink it religiously. It has no artificial flavors or sweeteners.  There’s a bunch of vitamins. It’s low sodium. It’s high in potassium. I’m very conscious of what I put in my body, especially when I’m playing, and I do drink it during the game and it just keeps me at a peak level of energy throughout the entire game, which is not easy to do.”

I can relate, I just got winded taking out the trash.


World Series, Game 7, extra innings…

So in Anthony Rizzo’s moment, with the Series on the line in Game 7 in 2016, what happened? Instead of facing the hot hitter, Cleveland pitcher Bryan Shaw intentionally walked Rizzo. His teammate Miguel Montero drove him in for the Cubs’ last run in an 8-7 victory, Chicago’s first World Series win since 1908. With a supportive family behind him and the drive to never let anything stop him, Rizzo was able to live every kid’s baseball dream.

Rizzo became a partner and investor in BODYARMOR, a premium sports drink made with potassium-packed electrolytes, coconut water, and natural sweeteners and flavors, several years ago when he discovered it during spring training. Rizzo joined a team of other superstar athletes who also partnered with BODYARMOR, including Mike Trout, James Harden, Andrew Luck, and Dustin Johnson. To learn more about BODYARMOR Sports Drink, visit

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