In a development that’s baffling medical professionals worldwide, 56-year-old dad Gary Hudson awoke from an eight-year coma this week, only to matter-of-factly assure his family he’d simply been resting his eyes.
“Just lettin’ the lids take a load off,” Gary said, having just spent the better part of a decade with no observable cognition or awareness of external stimuli. “Can’t be just dozing off mid-Monday now can we.”
Gary, whose cerebrum had recently forgone communication with his brain stem for almost 3,000 consecutive days, guaranteed his loved ones he’d merely shuttered the blinds for a “short rest.”
Sources claim Gary emerged from his comatose state after an orderly changed the hospital room TV channel, which he was watching.