Fatherhood comes with it a plethora of guidelines. If your kid hands you a toy phone, you answer that toy phone. If your kid is thirsty, you are Friday. For thousands of years, these rules have been unwritten. Until now.

Introducing: THE DAD LAW.

From road trip etiquette to pun regulations, this gorgeous leather-bound book is the most thorough briefing on every do, don’t, and duh pertaining to fatherhood. Is it okay to let your kid win in Mario Kart? When to use cool your jets vs hold your horses? It’s all in this bad boy.

Here are a few choice excerpts:

It’s the authority on language…

Dad law requires dads to say one of the following when ready to leave:

-Let’s rock n roll
-Let’s skeedadle
-Saddle up, partners
-Let’s get the heck outta dodge
-Time to hit the road
-Let’s blow this popsicle stand
-Let’s hightail it outta here
-Let’s get this show on the road

— The Dad (@thedad) May 13, 2020

healthy road rage…

Dad Law: A dad will say “people don’t know how to drive in this town” no matter what town he’s in

— The Dad (@thedad) May 6, 2020

less healthy eating habits…

Dad Law: A dad is entitled to collect a fast food “dad tax” of:

a. One chicken nugget from the kid’s meal
b. A few fries from the kid’s meal
c. All of the extra fries that fell into the bag (also known as “bonus fries”)

— The Dad (@thedad) May 7, 2020

workplace motivation…

Dad Law: A dad will keep a photo of his family in his workspace as a reminder of why he does all this work in the first place.

— The Dad (@thedad) May 27, 2020

light goofing…

Dad Law: If someone returns to get something they forgot, a dad will tease:
a. “Back already?”
b. “Well that was fast.”
c. “How was it?”

— The Dad (@thedad) June 3, 2020

and facilitating a sense of community.

Dad Law: If a cashier asks a dad if he would like his milk in a bag, a dad must respond, “No, you can just leave it in the carton.”

If the cashier laughs, the dad will go to that cashier’s lane every time, henceforth.

— The Dad (@thedad) June 19, 2020

There are also plenty of cool illustrations within, including tong diagrams…

and visual aids for embarrassing puns.

Click right here to snag a copy for a measly $22 (because we know “money doesn’t grow on trees”, “you’re not made of money,” etc) and explore 202 whole pages of these silly, sweet, and painful universal truths about fatherhood with your very own copy of THE DAD LAW!

There was a time, say the mid-1990s, when childhood literacy was being fueled mainly by personal pan pizzas from Pizza Hut. The Book It! program was the gold at the end of the tunnel for many a 2nd-grade reader. Finishing a book was met with the delicious reward of your own pizza, which is the height of luxury to a child.

And now, you can bring the Book It! program back into your life. Sadly, not as an adult, although it would be pretty badass if you could still get some za for reading a Goosebumps book. But, the program is back for kids and is taking a new shape this summer; a digital version where parents keep track of their kids’ progress.

A summer reading program they’ll actually be excited about? Camp BOOK IT! rewards your child’s progress with cool perks like free pizza. 🍕📚 pic.twitter.com/Xy9GpzR9Kb

— PizzaHut (@pizzahut) June 23, 2020

Camp Book It! allows parents to enroll kids in grades K-6 in the summer reading program and set the goals. Unlike the glory days, these pizzas aren’t tied to finishing a book, they are tied to hitting a certain reading goal for the month (usually minutes per week), with the pizza reward coming at the end of the month.

That pizza right there was your monthly “Book It!” reward. pic.twitter.com/OsMX4HnKwA

— Rustin Richtarik (@dieseldog97) June 20, 2020

But, in a move that rules, you can now redeem the codes digitally as well, so you don’t even have to risk catching COVID just to cash in that sweet voucher. Kids can ring up one pizza per month, so summer reading has never been more important. Parents get pizza for their kids all the time, it’s about time kids use whatever means available (in this case, through life-enriching reading) to return the favor.

I don’t think it’s asking too much for your pre-teen to kick up a personal pan pizza to you as thanks for the endless support and love you shower them with daily.

More details here.

School closings due to the coronavirus have left kids isolated from their friends, grandparents, and far-removed from their daily routines. Schools not only provided kids with days packed with learning opportunities, but they were designated places where kids could just be kids. There’s a lot to miss about the school day routine – playing games at recess, doing science projects, trading names with your best friend to see if the sub notices – it’s tough not knowing when we’ll experience that again.

7-Year-old Bryan Rumfelt of Bay Ridge, New York wasn’t going to let the coronavirus stop him from participating in one of his favorite school activities, reading. Anyone can read at home, of course, but this big-hearted kid realized that younger students may not be able to read to themselves. So, Bryan decided, he’d read to them.

Bryan has always loved reading (especially out loud, to anyone within earshot), and one day while talking to his grandma, she asked if she could record him reading. Bryan’s grandma posted the video to Facebook, and “Bryan’s Book Corner” was born.

“I love reading books and I wanted to help kids that couldn’t read or wanted to hear stories while they are stuck at home,” Rumfelt told the Brooklyn Reporter.

The Facebook group already has over 1,000 members, most of whom are parents of kids who can’t get enough of Bryan’s stories. Bryan reads classics like “There is a Bird on my Head” and “Dragons Love Tacos” with enthusiasm and passion that bring the stories to life.

This isn’t the first time Bryan has stepped up to help people in need. According to Bryan’s Facebook page, after seeing news of devastating floods in Huston in 2017, Bryan raised over $3,000 for Huston charities. Now, Bryan is stepping up once again to bring a little brightness to the world during a not-so-bright time. Not only is Bryan helping kids fall in love with reading, but he’s also setting a pretty great example for them as well. Honestly, we could all stand to take a page out of Bryan’s book.

For more of Byran’s videos, you can also visit his Youtube channel.

As Hollywood continues to churn out remakes, reboots, sequels, prequels, and even legacyquels, it’s easy to forget that the studios don’t just repurpose movies, sometimes they even adapt books!

It’s actually kind of surprising there are any books left that haven’t been made into movies or TV shows or both, but there are a few left. 90s kids have to be excited about their latest efforts: the Animorphs!

After a short-lived TV series in 1998, the classic 90s sci-fi book series by K.A. Applegate is finally getting the big-screen treatment. The books are about five humans and an alien who can transform into any animal they touch and who use their powers to fight against an alien invasion, and the movie is being shepherded by Scholastic and Picturestart, which is headed by Eric Feig, who produced the Hunger Games.

“We couldn’t be more excited to work with Scholastic to adapt Animorphs, an iconic book series with a wildly unique combination of exciting, witty, outlandish and grounded elements that feel all too relevant for our times,” Feig said. “We know these books have a deservedly deep bench of passionate fans, ourselves included, and we hope to make Katherine Applegate and her co-author, Michael Grant, proud as we bring Jake, Marco, Cassie, Rachel, and Tobias to life for a new generation.”

No word yet on who will be writing or directing it, but Scholastic’s Iole Lucchese is confident the decades-old book series will remain relevant to today’s audiences.

“The central themes of Animorphs have resonated strongly with kids for more than two decades, and the time is right for a feature film that takes this captivating sci-fi adventure to another level for audiences today. Picturestart has an incredible track record of success, and Erik and his team are the perfect partners to help bring this exciting new series based on the adventure-packed books to movie screens.”

There is also a graphic novel version of the series set to be released on October 6th.

Set your wands and robes aside for now, J.K. Rowling is gracing our computers, tablets, smartphones, and Devices That Shall Not Be Named with something brand new. No, she won’t be compiling the ridiculously entertaining predictive text generated chapters of Harry Potter into a standalone book titled, “Hermione Has Forgotten How To Dance” (and yet I hold out hope).

Early on in quarantine, Rowling announced an open license for all seven Harry Potter books so they could be shared by educators over Zoom, or read in weekly videos by stars such as Daniel Radcliffe, the OG Harry Potter. Rowling knows just how much her books have helped children and adults alike cope with quarantine, and as her fans often do, we wanted more.

On May 26th, J.K. Rowling heard our pleas and delivered something to keep our kids entertained (and who are we kidding, it’ll keep us entertained too – looking at you, person who sees their Hogwarts house as a central part of their identity) for months to come. Starting today and continuing through July, Rowling will release a chapter of her new book, The Ickabog, on the book’s website daily at 3 PM GMT.

Rowling describes the endearing origins of the book on her website, recalling how she read chapters to her children nightly as she wrote them. The time spent immersed in the world of The Ickabog became a time for bonding between Rowling and her two children, and for a while, it would stay that way. After Harry Potter, Rowling decided to step away from writing children’s books, and The Ickabog was put aside for the time being.

Over time I came to think of The Ickabog as just for my family. The manuscript went up into the attic, where it remained until a few weeks ago.

This is the very dusty box I got down from the attic.
(It’s a Net-A-Porter box and might well have held a premiere dress.)

4/13 pic.twitter.com/vg8F5Qx33M

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 26, 2020

Nearly a decade later, Rowling decided that releasing the book for kids in quarantine was the perfect way to get this beloved story out into the world. Even more special, Rowling is asking kids to submit illustrations that will be published in the print and e-book versions of The Ickabog.

Illustrations have already started pouring in from around the world.

There’s King Fred,

I love, love, love this King Fred! #TheIckabog https://t.co/HzX8wekbun

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 26, 2020

A map,

I love this map! #TheIckabog https://t.co/QbPngMVIZD

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 26, 2020

And the Ickabog himself.

This is a fabulous Ickabog #TheIckabog https://t.co/vhN1DIR2ZY

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 26, 2020

Read along each day, and don’t forget to submit your kid’s illustrations! It’s never too early to start building up their resume. The full version of the book, including some submitted illustrations, will be available to purchase in November.

Please share your children’s artwork with us using #TheIckabog and tag us in the post. Read our submissions guide at https://t.co/msLWYGDlYF

— The Ickabog (@TheIckabog) May 26, 2020

When I was a little kid, I loved horror movies. I grew up in the 80s, so that meant slasher flicks. I liked the Nightmare on Elm Street movies the most (especially Dream Warriors), and still think the original Child’s Play is hilarious.

I want my kids to like horror movies too, but I tend to keep a tighter lid on what they can watch than my parents did. And my oldest prefers the idea of scary movies to actually scary ones. Which is why the Goosebumps movies work pretty well, and why I’m excited about the just-announced Goosebumps TV series. 90s kids will remember that this isn’t the first time TV has gotten Goosebumps, as there was a Goosebumps show that ran for a few seasons back then. It’s the latest bit of kids’ lit to get a do-over.

Goosebumps is a best-selling book series from author R.L. Stine featuring the perfect level of scares for young kids. There have been two movies made from the books, both featuring Jack Black as R.L. Stine himself (the movies get pretty meta), and now there are plans for a live-action TV series.

“Goosebumps has been keeping kids and families on the edge of their seats for nearly 30 years and we’re very excited to partner with Sony Pictures Television and Neal H. Moritz to bring the enduring brand to life in a fresh new way for today’s generation,” said Iole Lucchese, Scholastic Entertainment President, and Chief Strategy Officer, Deadline wrote. “From the world-famous book series to a full-scale licensing program and even live-action movies starring Jack Black, Goosebumps remains wildly popular and we look forward to presenting new adventures to give fans even more Goosebumps.”

No word on where the show will live, or if Stine will be involved, but 9that I might go queue up to show my 9yo right now.

This new series is just kicking off development, so it will be a while before we’ll know anything more. Which leaves my kids plenty of time to binge the old series.

These days, everything gets adapted.

There’s nothing Hollywood loves more than existing intellectual property. It already has a fan base ready to spend money on something they love, and piggybacking on someone else’s creativity is easier than starting something from scratch. Add today’s constantly multiplying streaming services, and there’s nary a book series, a graphic novel, a video game, even a podcast that hasn’t been converted into a TV show or movie.

Not everything gets adapted twice. Usually, if your favorite book series makes its way to movie theaters, you have to hope the first movie is successful or you won’t get the rest and that’s likely your last shot. Not this time.

Percy Jackson, the mythological Harry Potter who began as a bedtime story from prolific author Rick Riordan, had his shot. In fact, two movies were made from Riordan’s Gods of Olympus series, 2010’s Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief, and 2013’s Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters. Logan Lerman starred as Percy, the half-human some of Poseidon who has water-based magical powers, and neither film was particularly good.

The movie franchise, which was managed by Disney without any input from the author himself, petered out, and for years fans have been clamoring for a do-over. My 9-year-old son included.

Now they’re getting their wish. After years of hoping and months of hinting (and a Broadway musical in the meantime), Riordan got a new adaptation off the ground, this time as TV series for Disney+. He made the announcement on Twitter.

pic.twitter.com/Jr9yh68Qcj

— Rick Riordan (@rickriordan) May 14, 2020

“Hey Percy Jackson fans, for the past decade, you’ve worked hard to champion a faithful on-screen adaptation of Percy Jackson’s world,” Riordan wrote. “Some of you have even suggested it would be a good series for Disney+. We couldn’t agree more!”

Riordan, like many fans, was unhappy with the less-than-faithful theatrical adaptations of the first two books in his series, and it’s clear he’s thrilled to have a shot at a do-over, this time with him being “involved in every aspect of the show.” It will follow the storyline of the five-book series, which sees Percy learning of his heritage, training at Camp Halfblood, and making friends with satyrs, centaurs, and various other demigods as he goes on various adventures.

After Lightning Thief and Sea of Monsters, Percy appears in The Titan’s Curse, The Battle of the Labyrinth, and The Last Olympian, as well as several spin-offs from the series. Disney+ appears to be tackling all five of them, and if it goes well, he has a lot more material to mine, including series based on Egyptian, Roman, and Norse mythology.

My son has read every single one and based on the ecstatic online reaction to today’s Disney+ news, he’s not alone. Here’s hoping they get it right this time.

You can sign up for Disney+ for $6.99/month or $69.99/year.

You know how whenever you sit down to read a Marvel comic you get all hungers in your tum-tum? I call them the Marvel Rumbles and they happen because of all the fine cuisine featured in each comic. Insight Editions has answered the one question we’ve all been asking for years: Why isn’t there a cookbook dedicated to food which is inspired by popular storylines told across the Marvel universe? Especially when we have already Marvel cooking accessories.

Well, put your chef’s apron cape on because the wait is over. Introducing Marvel Eat the Universe: The Official Cookbook. Because who hasn’t been knee-deep in a Hulk comic and thought “Hulk Smash….ed….Potatoes?” Or desired a literal Trash Omellete inspired by Rocket Raccoon (because raccoons eat trash)? Or how about:

Nova Space-Cop Galaxy Doughnuts

“They are essentially space cops, doing all sorts of space things thanks to the powers granted to them through the Nova Force,” says Food Network chef, Justin Warner — the book’s author. “When I was tasked with thinking about what Richard Rider would eat after a long day of being a space cop, the answer was obvious: space doughnuts.”

When I was tasked with thinking about what Richard Rider would eat after a long day of being a space cop, the answer was obvious: space doughnuts.

Phoenix Hot Chicken and Egg Oyakodon

Jean Grey getting possessed by an all-powerful space force is intense, but not as intense as these chicken wings, you guys. Other tasty diddy’s include:

• Deadpool’s Chimichangitas
• Storm’s Tournedos
• Dazzler’s Glittering Pizza Bagels
• Hulk’s Paillard Arrabiata with Purple Smashed Potatoes
• Runaways Okonomiyaki
• Green Goblin Pumpkin Bombs

According to Insight Editions, all 60 dishes will “prepare [you] to eat like a Marvel Super Hero,” which would imply that Green Goblin enjoys a nice Pumpkin Bomb every now and then. We can absolutely get behind this.

You can pre-order now and expect the book to ship out around July 28th for a cool $26.99.

During the COVID-19 quarantine, we’ve all been relying on Netflix and Hulu and Amazon Prime to fill our days and keep our kids, occupied. Maybe the more ambitious among us are even playing board games and going for family bike rides.

Sometimes, it can be easy to forget that we’re still smack dab in the middle of a school year. Obviously, remote schooling is a little bit different and less structured, and if you run your school anything like I do, recess is a solid five hours long. Finding constructive ways to fill your kids’ time can be hard, especially when you’re just trying to survive every day as well!

Now there’s a fun way to do something a bit more educational than The Office reruns and Nintendo Switch! The official Harry Potter fan club, Wizarding World, announced that they’ll be releasing weekly videos of people reading the seventeen chapters from the first book of JK Rowling’s saga of the Boy Who Lived.

And they’ve recruited some well-known faces to do the readings.

Surprise! We’ve got a treat for you…From today, amazing friends of the Wizarding World are going to take turns reading Harry Potter book one.

And to start us off with Chapter 1, we think you’ll agree we have the perfect narrator…⚡️ #HarryPotterAtHome
https://t.co/w9K77akbou pic.twitter.com/Q03PmjeD5d

— Wizarding World (@wizardingworld) May 5, 2020

Kicking it all off? Harry Potter himself, Daniel Radcliffe, who reads the first chapter from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.

Experience the first Harry Potter book like never before, Daniel Radcliffe (yes, really, Daniel Radcliffe!) joins #HarryPotterAtHome to read Chapter One: ‘The Boy Who Lived’. Settle in and watch the first chapter here:https://t.co/w9K77akbou pic.twitter.com/VxTKpVgZY5

— Wizarding World (@wizardingworld) May 6, 2020

While you’re there, you can sign up for the fan club and get updates, and read about who else might be cracking a book on camera.

Many cast members from the Harry Potter Extended Universe will be contributing, along with other celebrities. The list of readers includes Daniel Radcliffe, Stephen Fry, David Beckham, Dakota Fanning, Claudia Kim, Noma Dumezweni, and Eddie Redmayne, and more, and there are sure to be surprises in store as well.

New chapters will be released every week, both via video on the website and on via Spotify or Spotify Kids!

It’s a fun treat for Potter fans, and a great way to get your kids away from their tablets and consoles.

Heroes are popping up everywhere these days. Some of them work at movie studios or streaming platforms, some of them play major sports, some of them are even actual, no-hyperbole heroes who dedicated their lives to helping others keep theirs.

Even us regular folk can do our part to help, by adhering to social distancing guidelines and staying the fuck home.

Excuse my French, but it needs to be said. The best thing we can all do to protect ourselves and each other is to stay inside and limit contact with other people, thereby reducing the coronavirus’s ability to spread. It’s not the most fun way to live your life, but it is the best way to ensure that you and others have lives to live.

Obviously you’ve heard this message a million times already, and weeks into the quarantine, it can start to sound like white noise. Thankfully, another hero has stepped up to reiterate this important message, and this time, it’s entertaining as all hell.

His name is Samuel L. Jackson, and he is well-known for his prolific, and expert-level, deployment of curse words. His inimitable talents have been put to good use in dozens of films, and even in a hilarious children’s book by Adam Mansbach called “Go the Fuck to Sleep.” Now Sam and Adam have teamed up again, this time to drive home the all-important message of the day: STAY THE FUCK HOME.

Jackson turned up on Jimmy Kimmel Live (at-home edition) to read the book aloud, and remind us, as only he can, that if you leave your home during the quarantine without a legitimate reason, I hope you burn in HELL!

Self-isolation isn’t easy.

We’re all going a little stir crazy, stuck inside with tons of Netflix, not enough toilet paper, and all sorts of uncertainty. We’re doing everything we can to stave off cabin fever by coming up with different activities to fill time, making more FaceTime calls than ever before, maybe even picking up a new skill or two. Now is the time to master the guitar, or learn French! (I’m just gonna rewatch Friday Night Lights but you do you!)

There are some people who are determined to be productive during this strange time, and, thankfully, one of them is George R.R. Martin.

The man behind the Game of Thrones books may not have given us The Winds of Winter, his long-awaited sixth book in the series, in time for the Coronavirus quarantine, but it may not be long now!

The author took to his blog to provide fans with an update, writing:

I am off by myself in a remote isolated location, attended by one of my staff, and I’m not going in to town or seeing anyone. Truth be told, I am spending more time in Westeros than in the real world, writing every day. Things are pretty grim in the Seven Kingdoms… but maybe not as grim as they may become here.

Huzzah!

Martin is using his time wisely, choosing to make the most of isolation by putting his nose to the grindstone and getting to work finishing the 6th – and hopefully even starting the 7th? – books in the A Song of Ice and Fire series.

The 71-year-old Martin also took a moment to reassure fans that he is doing okay despite the fact that his age has him the virus’s high-risk group.

For those of you who may be concerned for me personally… yes, I am aware that I am very much in the most vulnerable population, given my age and physical condition. But I feel fine at the moment, and we are taking all sensible precautions.

Obviously, it would be great if he could get the book done after 6 years, but his health is paramount. The good news is staying inside will both keep him safe and keep him writing!

We all want this scary scenario to resolve itself sooner rather than later, but at least Martin is trying to use this time to give us what we’ve spent 6 years waiting for!

For those dying for more content from a galaxy far, far away, Disney just announced their new publishing campaign for 2020 titled Star Wars: The High Republic. This major foray into the new expanded universe will be fleshed out via an interconnected series of young adult books, novels, and comic books set 200 years before Star Wars: The Phantom Menace.

Previously referred to as “Project Luminous,” The High Republic will highlight a “golden age for the Jedi,” when both the light side force-wielders and the government they serve were at the height of their power.

“Star Wars: The High Republic features the Jedi as we’ve always wanted to see them — as true guardians of peace and justice. This is a hopeful, optimistic time when the Jedi and the Galactic Republic are at their height. But of course, into this glorious new era something wicked this way comes,” Lucasfilm Publishing creative director Michael Siglain says.

“This initiative will give readers young and old a new corner of the galaxy to explore through rich, meaningful stories. Plus, readers will learn what scares the Jedi.”

Lucasfilm is comparing the Jedi of this period to the Arthurian knights of the round table—“guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy,” as Obi-Wan described in A New Hope—who will face a new group of villains known as The Nhil, playfully referred to as “space vikings.”

The first five books and comics are set to debut at Star Wars Celebration Anaheim in August 2020:

• Star Wars: The High Republic: Light of the Jedi by Charles Soule (an adult novel)
• Star Wars: The High Republic: Into the Dark by Claudia Gray (a young adult novel)
• Star Wars: The High Republic: A Test of Courage by Justina Ireland (a middle-grade novel)
• Star Wars: The High Republic Adventures by Daniel José Older (a comic book series from IDW)
• Star Wars: The High Republic by Cavan Scott (a comic book series from Marvel)

As per a press release, “This period on the Star Wars timeline will not overlap any of the filmed features or series currently planned for production.” However, should the material become popular among fans, there’s really no reason why Disney couldn’t pursue High Republic film adaptations in the future.

“We are so excited to be opening up such a rich, fertile era for our authors to explore,” Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy said. “We’ll get to see the Jedi in their prime.”

Late-night host Jimmy Kimmel has added another title to his entertainment resume: children’s author. Kimmel wrote and illustrated a children’s book, The Serious Goose, which is on sale now. And Kimmel had a good reason behind his literary foray: he’s donating all the proceeds to children’s hospitals across the country.

“I thought writing a children’s book would be a very easy thing. I look through them, there are, like, 13 words in the whole book. What’s hard about this? But I also decided to illustrate it,” Kimmel told People Magazine. “What really took more time than anything was the lettering. As I was writing the word ‘goose’ for the thousandth time in a row, I regretted that.”

The story is about a Serious Goose that needs help from kids to cheer up. Kimmel said the inspiration came from trying to cheer up his daughter when she was younger. Donating the proceeds was an easy decision for Kimmel, who wanted to give back to hospitals like the one who cared for his son when he had to have multiple heart surgeries in his early months.

Kimmel told Entertainment Weekly that he wanted to do something big for the hospitals.

“Those hospitals, the work they do, and how under-appreciated they are, is actually shocking to me. It’s great to raise awareness and money. No matter what side you’re on, [who] doesn’t support donating to children’s hospitals?” he said.

And if you really need a review, at least his kids like The Serious Goose.

My new book #TheSeriousGoose comes out TODAY, so we hid cameras in my office and I read it to my kids… All the money I make goes to children’s hospitals so buy it here! #GivingTuesday https://t.co/ukeXOxIMPM pic.twitter.com/P0CLNg2XOB

— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) December 3, 2019

You can grab a copy of the book here.

Just a heads up, if you buy stuff using the provided links, The Dad may collect a small commission.