Mike Julianelle or something you find in dirty diaper. We aren't sure.

Mike Julianelle

Mike lives in Brooklyn with his wife, two children, and increasing dependence on alcohol. Find him on dadandburied.com and its associated social channels (FB, IG, Twitter) and be ready for him to mock his kids, himself, and maybe even you.

Father Figures: That Guy Didn’t Know

“When my wife broke the news that she was pregnant, she was irritated with my response. It wasn’t that I reacted negatively; I just didn’t have much of a reaction at all. She wanted me to jump around the room, or panic, or do something besides just smile and hug her.

At the time, I viewed it as one more thing to prepare for, rather than something to look forward to.

After a relatively short (but extremely difficult) labor, our son was born. Once again, I expected to cry, to feel this wave of overwhelming joy and pride, to run around the hospital loudly proclaiming how beautiful and perfect our little clone was… but I didn’t.

To me, the simple facts were as follows: there was now a huge, loud potato where my wife’s belly had once been, we had a lot more combined responsibility, and our parents could officially stop badgering us for grand kids. He was cute, but you know… when you really look back, most newborns more closely resemble tiny aliens than either one of their adult parents.

All told, it took me about 3 months to really develop a deep love of the little pudge. From that point until now, 15 months have passed, and I couldn’t be happier.

If you would have asked me two years ago, I would have told you I could never love anything more than I love my wife – that she made me happiest I could ever be. But that guy didn’t have a son. That guy hadn’t watched a tiny, helpless baby develop into a toddler with opinions, ideas, and boundless curiosity. That guy hadn’t been there to see first steps, hadn’t heard “DADA” happily yelled from another room before tiny, running footsteps preemptively signaled the coming of a “welcome home hug,” hadn’t had a tiny hand gently touch his face at 7am in order to politely wake him up. He hadn’t been given sloppy kisses, fed soggy goldfish by drool-caked hands, or spent lazy Sundays watching football while a tiny, milk-drunk person napped on his chest.

Frankly, that guy didn’t know shit.

But I do. I wasn’t always in this mindset, but I’m here now. Becoming a dad is the single greatest change that’s ever occurred in my life and while I definitely wasn’t ready for it, adapting has been a blast.”

– Taylor DeKok

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Check out the previous editions of Father Figures here

Ryan’s ToysReview Gets Slapped With FTC Complaint

Ryan's ToysReview FTC Complaint
(YouTube/Ryan's ToysReview)

Every parent dreams of their kids being successful. Maybe they make the NFL and buy you a house, maybe they become a child star and pay all your bills; half the reason we have kids is to make money off of them!

In this day and age, there are more options than ever to get rich off your kids, and helping them create a YouTube channel is one of the hottest ones. There are countless children out there making a mint by sharing videos of unboxing and reviewing toys on YouTube. There’s one kid who makes literal millions doing it!

But he might not be making millions for long. He was just hit with an FTC complaint.

Ryan’s Toy Reviews, in which 7-year-old Ryan Kaji opens new toys and reviews them for millions of YouTube views, was recently slapped with a complaint alleging that his videos are tricking viewers into watching ads.

Ryan’s parents run his account and have been running it since he was a toddler, steadily growing it into a juggernaut that with over 21 million subscribers and more than 31 billion views. They even parlayed their son’s online popularity into a TV show on Nick Jr., Ryan’s Mystery Playdate, and advertising deals with Colgate, Carl’s Jr., and Walmart. But apparently, he hasn’t been disclosing those deals.

The complaint, from Truth in Advertising, states: “[the channel] deceptively promotes a multitude of products to millions of preschool-aged children in violation of FTC law…It is often difficult to discern the innocent (or sometimes not so innocent) antics in Ryan ToysReview videos from the sponsored content. And for preschoolers, it is impossible to discern the difference.”

Shion Kaji told Buzzfeed News that they “strictly follow[s] all platforms’ terms of service and all existing laws and regulations, including advertising disclosure requirements.”

The video, such as the one below for Colgate, uses a voice over to mention that they’ve “teamed up” with the brand, but nothing else signifies that it’s a commercial. It’s the lack of transparency that has gotten the channel in trouble. Whereas adults may be able to understand without overt ad breaks and disclaimers, kids Ryan’s age, not to mention preschoolers, probably can’t.

But Ryan’s parents said they’re willing to cooperate. “The well-being of our viewers is always our top priority,” Ryan’s father said. “Creating content that is safe and appropriate for our young viewers and their families is very important to us.”

Seems like they’d better if they don’t want to lose their retirement nest egg!

Father Figures: Proof of Miracles

“I was always pretty nervous to become a dad. My dad was an amazing dad and I always wanted the chance to be like him.

My wife and I went through 3 1/2 years of fertility treatments. We didn’t know if we’d ever be parents.

After many failed attempts, lots of fertility drugs, and thousands of dollars later, we got a positive test!

Our baby came 3 months premature, 1 lb 12 oz, lots of problems during her 103 day stay in the NICU. There were nights we weren’t sure if she’d make it.

Almost 2 years later, Remi is home and as healthy as can be. She’s got a personality bigger than this world. We’re blessed to have her and thankful for the love, laughter, and proof of miracles she’s brought in to our lives.

I’m doing the best I can every day to teach Remi to be kind and love others. Most importantly every day I’m reinforcing the love I have for her.”

– Shawn Gardner

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Check out the previous editions of Father Figures here

El Camino Set Photos Hint at Heisenberg and There’s a New Netflix Recap

El Camino Set Photos Hint at Heisenberg
(Instagram/arthurbauer37)

You may have heard there’s a Breaking Bad movie coming to Netflix. We’ve certainly been talking about it a lot, from the initial news to the cryptic tweets to the recent trailer and release date. What, we’re excited!

The movie is centered around Jesse Pinkman and takes place after the series ended as he, presumably, tries to piece some kind of life together after escaping the neo-Nazi compound.

Today Netflix released a recap video that allows us all to “catch up Jesse’s journey” (as written in the YouTube description field):

Aaron Paul recently posted this image to Instagram, which leads us to believe there will be plenty more flashbacks (unless Jesse learned zero lessons from his ordeal and set-up shop elsewhere?!)

 

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Hello old friend. October 11th. Netflix. ⚗️💎💉💣🎥

A post shared by Aaron Paul (@aaronpaul) on

Of course, ever since it was announced, speculation has been running rampant about whether or not Walter White, aka Heisenberg, aka the Man Who Broke Bad, was actually going to be in it. Given that the series ended with his death, it wouldn’t seem possible, but then again, as essential as Aaron Paul’s Pinkman is to the show, what’s Breaking Bad without Bryan Cranston?

Well, we don’t have to worry, because some photos have leaked from the ultra-secretive shoot (weeks after it wrapped) and guess what? Cranston is back! We think.

The Instagram account All About Saul apparently snagged some photos from the set, including those of places that figured prominently in the show’s past, such as the duplex where Jesse lived with his girlfriend Jane, and the iconic RV, which, like Walter White himself, didn’t survive the series.

The images suggest that we could be in for some flashbacks, and if so, it’s a decent bet that Bryan Cranston will be in some of them. Which only makes an already highly anticipated movie even more exciting.

I just hope we get to see Walt Jr. have some breakfast again.

The Seinfeld Twitter Account Starts Debate With Top Episode Contest

Best Seinfeld Episode Contest
(Twitter/Seinfeld)

Twitter loves a good debate.

Whether it’s over the best chicken sandwich, a football player’s unexpected retirement, or the funniest 90s sitcom.

The “Friends” vs. “Seinfeld” debate has been raging for years now, online and off, thanks to both popular sitcoms thriving around the same time in the 90s and living on via reruns and Netflix. It was recently reignited by the Australian news site, but let’s be honest, there’s no real debate here. “Friends” is a frothy, fun rewatch, for sure, but “Seinfeld” was a game-changer. The real debate isn’t between six twenty-somethings living in improbably-sized apartments and four petty, narcissistic adults discussing minutiae and sabotaging relationships.

The real debate is between which “Seinfeld” episode is the best one.

That was the question posed by the show’s official Twitter account last week, in the form of a contest (not that kind, pervert!).

Needless to say, fans of what many consider one of the best TV shows of all time had a lot of opinions. The sheer variety of answers is a testament to how original and hilarious the show was, and may have you binge-watching it all over again. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

There’s the one with George’s infamous photoshoot:


The one with Fusilli Jerry:

My brother’s favorite, in which George goes against his instincts:

The one with Lloyd Braun’s gum:

The groundbreaking Contest episode:

I am particularly partial to The Race, in which Superman-fanatic Jerry relishes the chance to date a girl named Lois and then wins a rematch race against an old high-school foe, while the Superman theme plays.

But let’s be honest, give or take a mere handful, nearly every Seinfeld episode has a classic moment or two.


Which one is your favorite?

A Seinfeld vs Friends Debate on Twitter Was Not Even-Steven

Seinfeld VS Friends Twitter Debate
(Twitter/newscomauHQ)

Opinions are beautiful things. Everyone has their own and is free to share them. Social media makes sharing your opinion easier than ever. Of course, that often leads to others disagreeing with your opinion, and then a need to defend that opinion, and all of a sudden, you’ve started a shitstorm.

That’s what one Australian news site did recently, when they posed an innocent little question on their Twitter account, about a pair of beloved 90s television programs.


Okay, so maybe it wasn’t that innocent. This being the internet, and Twitter, it certainly didn’t stay innocent, as user after user chimed in with their take on why their favorite show was better than yours.

Some went for Friends:


Actually, that was pretty much the only person who went for Friends. It was Seinfeld in a landslide!




A few people used images and clips from the show to explain why it was the master of its domain:


Obviously, only one answer is correct. Which isn’t to say you can’t enjoy both classic sitcoms, but on Twitter, you’d better be prepared to choose one as the winner. Thankfully, Twitter came correct.

Of course, not every one is a fan of these shows:

Father Figures: Never Been As Tired

“I think the fatherhood cliche I have experienced the most uniquely is that you’ve never been as tired as you are as a parent… and it truly doesn’t matter because you see your work in action.

My wife and I have a unique set up. We both work full-time, me during the day and her at night. She’s a night nurse and I’m in digital marketing. So, since Atticus was 3 months old, we’ve gotten a lot of one-on-one time together. 4 nights a week, it’s me and the little man.

I’ve loved every minute of it, though it’s not easy. He has taught me more about me than I’ve taught him about anything. He’s my absolute favorite person. I’m exhausted. I have been for the last 19 months. But I wouldn’t change any of it.”

– Tyler Price

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Check out the previous editions of Father Figures here

Disney Is Rebooting Die Hard With a Young John McClane

Disney Is Rebooting Die Hard
(Facebook/Die Hard)

I suppose it was inevitable. Everything is getting remade and rebooted, every successful movie gets a sequel, every character gets an origin story. From Jack Ryan and the Joker to Bad Boys and The Matrix, there’s hardly a property that hasn’t been recycled.

It was only a matter of time before they turned to the best action movie ever.

That’s right, it seems that the classic 80s actioner that launched a thousand copycats is next in line to be rebooted and revamped, this time starting from the beginning and tracing John McClane’s early years in the NYPD. Presumably showing him chase down that six-month backlog of scumbags he mentioned to Argyle at the start of the first movie.

As with the supposed Home Alone remake that’s coming, the move seems to be a result of Disney acquiring a whole stable of existing properties in the 20th Century Fox portfolio due to their purchase of the studio.

The last sequel, A Good Day to Die Hard, arrived in 2013, and like Live Free or Die Hard before it, was largely considered a disappointment, being that the everyman John McClane had been concerted into a superhero who surfed on F-16s and traveled to Russia.

The good news for this potential reboot is that it’s going back to McClane’s roots. Of course, no one really needs to see John McClane’s roots. One of the things that made the original movie so successful was learning about the seemingly average cop’s resourcefulness as we watched, not knowing about how tough and inventive he was beforehand! I’m gonna guess that discovering where he bought his trademark undershirt and watching him see his first Roy Rogers movie is not something most fans of the franchise are clamoring for.

This new project would apparently replace separate plans for a 6th Die Hard movie that would have also focused on McClane’s early years, but the studio decided to scrap that and start the whole thing over from the beginning.

We should probably withhold judgment until this thing actually starts coming together, but if we see a young McClane visit Germany on a class trip and randomly cross paths with a suit-shopping, teenage Hans Gruber, I will blow the roof off this place.

KFC Introduces Plant-Based Chicken, Sells Out in 5 Hours

Plant Based KFC
(Twitter/KFC)

There’s been a lot of chatter about chicken sandwiches lately, ever since Popeye’s ignited a firestorm when they introduced theirs. Chick-fil-a, Wendy’s, Shake Shack, Zaxby’s; they all weighed in in an attempt to claim supremacy in the fast-food chicken sandwich wars.

One notable name, known for its chicken and a direct competitor to Popeye’s, sat out. Instead, KFC quietly introduced a new kind of ‘chicken’ meal that’s not made of chicken at all.

On Monday, KFC tweeted out an announcement for their new “Beyond Fried Chicken” offering that was being tested in Atlanta.

It’s safe to say the plant-based food passed the test, as the vegan option sold out in five hours.

KFC is hardly the first fast-food chain to offer vegetarian meals at its stores. A variety of chains have begun employing products from plant-based purveyors Beyond Meat and Impossible Foods. Burger King has been rolling out their Impossible version of the Whopper for a few months, White Castle has a plant-based slider, and Arby’s, well, Arby’s mostly just trolls people.

According to a representative who spoke with the New York Times, KFC “decided to launch this very initial, limited test in Atlanta to gauge interest in plant-based options from KFC customers.”

The restaurant chain will evaluate their test results before making any future plans for a national roll-out, but it’s safe to say that many consumers are responding well to the vegetarian options, even if they’re not necessarily devout non-meat eaters.

“Our target customers for this product were flexitarians looking to incorporate plant-based choices into their diets,” the KFC representative said.

That decision to change their name from Kentucky Fried Chicken to KFC is looking smarter every day!

Father Figures: Around the World

“When my son was really young, I told him that I was not going to buy him a bunch of toys, but instead we were going to travel.

At first he wasn’t too sure about that. The first trip we took was to Thailand… he fell in love with travel and we have since been around the world together.

We recently went back to Thailand right before he headed off to University. He is excited to one day be able to do the same thing with his son….in like 10 years.”

– Jeffrey Dunlap

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Check out the previous editions of Father Figures here

Rob Lowe’s Son Keeps Roasting His Dad on Instagram and We Love It

Johnny Lowe Roasts Dad
(Instagram/robloweofficial)

Children are the great equalizer.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a superstar quarterback in the NFL, a famous musician, or a popular comedian, fatherhood levels the playing field. We’ve all gotten peed and/or pooped on, we’ve all been woken up by a cry or a kick to the groin, and we’ve all been mocked by the very people we’ve created.

Even national treasure and The Outsiders star Rob Lowe.

The supernaturally (I assume) youthful-looking actor from such favorites as Parks and Rec, Tommy Boy, and Oxford Blues, has a handful of kids, whom he’s written and spoken about at length. He’s done so with evident love and pride, and clearly has a great relationship with his sons. But that doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy taking him down a few pegs, as you can see by their savage comments on his Instagram.

Recently, someone noticed that Lowe’s 24-year-old son Johnny was commenting on his dad’s photos, and he’s not taking any prisoners, playfully trashing his father’s selfies in a variety of hilarious ways.

He calls him out for humblebragging:

(@zenpeacekeeper)

Reminds him where he can get actual legal expertise:

(@zenpeacekeeper)

Questions his language choices:

(@zenpeacekeeper)

Gives him workout advice:

(@zenpeacekeeper)

Is just plain confused:

(@zenpeacekeeper)

Throws savage shade:

(@zenpeacekeeper)

And gives fans a peek behind the curtain:

(@zenpeacekeeper)

Johnny is continually firing off gems at his dad’s expense, to our great amusement. His comments keep racking up the likes, some garnering as many as 5000. Some followers are even expressing their appreciation for Johnny’s commentary: “Your son’s comments are making my day!”

They’re making ours too, because they’re funny, and they remind us that even a guy from the Brat Pack who made out with 80s Demi Moore gets roasted by his kids!

Coach of Special Olympics Powerlifting Team Lost His Dad at 5-Yrs-Old

Nicholas DiAntonio Power Lifting Coach
(PEOPLE/Nicholas DiAntonio)

Losing a parent is never easy, no matter how old you are. But when you’re a little kid, not only is the loss devastating, it changes the shape of your entire life. For some people, the gap can never be filled. For others, they find love in other places.

For one teacher and weightlifting coach, he fills the gap by giving his love away.

When Nicholas DiAntonio was five years old, his father passed away from pancreatic cancer, and a family member told his mother that he and his brother were going to grow up differently.

“My uncle, an orthopedic surgeon, said, ‘Maybe it’s not a negative. Maybe they’ll develop with much more empathy and compassion and care because they were forced to mature so quickly because they went through a difficult time,’ ” DiAntonio says.

That certainly seems to be the case, as DiAntonio grew up eating lunch with special needs kids, and began volunteering to work with when he was just in 7th grade.

He credits his outreach to an incident in middle school, when he saw a boy with special needs being bullied. “I remember he couldn’t get out of the circle and kids were calling him names,” DiAntonio, who teaches math at Natick High School in Massachusetts, told PEOPLE. “I immediately went over and pulled him out. I stayed with him and got a teacher…It was striking to me, at that point, that individuals with special needs aren’t able to stand up for themselves.”

For the past 17 years, he’s been working with the Special Olympics, volunteering throughout high school and college before co-founding the Milford Special Olympics powerlifting team. He’s been coaching it for 7 years and calls it his passion.

“It’s infectious,” he says. “It makes you feel so good when you see the smiles on the faces of your athletes.”

DiAntonio doesn’t deny the impact his father’s passing has had on him.

“Having to grow up quickly, having to deal with the awfulness of my father passing at age 5, I developed an empathy for all different people. I’ve always had a big heart. I see individuals with special needs — they’re craving attention, they just want to be one of the guys, they want to hang out. It spurs me to want to help.”

The teams he coaches are tight-knit, thanks to DiAntonio’s leadership and devotion to building a family. He drives students to practice, takes them bowling and to the movies, and has earned a stellar reputation.

“Nick stands out at competitions,” says Charles Hirsch, the director of development, brand and marketing for Special Olympics Massachusetts. “He gets the athletes excited. He brings them together as a team.”

Metallica Donates $300k Toward Romania’s First Pediatric Oncology Hospital

Metallica Donates $300k Toward Pediatric Hospital
(Instagram/metallica)

There’s a running joke that you’ll often hear musicians make when they haven’t quite cracked the charts in the United States: they’ll say they’re “huge” somewhere overseas. Like how David Hasselhoff’s music was massive in Germany.

Well, Metallica is one of the most popular bands of all time, and there’s no reason for them to lie about being big in a foreign country. They’re big everywhere. Usually because of their music. But now Metallica is huge in Romania for a different reason. Or at least an extra one.

The band recently donated nearly $300,000 to help build Romania’s first pediatric oncology hospital.

Since the fall of Communism in 1989, corruption has run rampant in Romania and has impeded the construction of hospitals and the general modernization of its infrastructure to help bring Romania’s cancer survival rate up. It currently sits well below the European Union’s average. Metallica donated the money to Daruieste Viata, aka, the Bestow Life association, to help improve those rates.

 

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Thank you to all the fans who attended #MetInBucharest for helping us kick off this last European leg with a bang! With your help and the help of a generous sponsorship by @mastercard, we were able to present @daruiesteviata (The Give Life Association) with €250,000 in support of their #NoiFacemUnSpital initiative, building the first Pediatric Oncology and Radiotherapy Hospital in Romania. #MetallicaGivesBack #AWMH ・・・ #Repost @allwithinmyhandsfoundation ・・・ The final leg of the European tour starts with a very special donation. Together with the fans attending #MetInBucharest and a generous sponsorship from @mastercard, @metallica is able to present @daruiesteviata (The Give Life Association) with €250,000 in support of their #NoiFacemUnSpital initiative, building the first Pediatric Oncology and Radiotherapy Hospital in Romania. #MetallicaGivesBack #AWMH

A post shared by Metallica (@metallica) on

The band’s All Within My Hands nonprofit foundation announced that Metallica made the donation just before a show in Romania’s National Arena back in August.

Hopefully, the contribution from band members Robert Trujillo, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammett, and James Hetfield will help you forgive them for the Napster debacle. And maybe make some kids’ bells toll a little later – because Metallica saves lives, especially if you’re being stalked by a cougar.