10 Tweets About The Savagery Of Christmas

(Twitter/weinerdog4life and Getty/Carsten Schanter)

Christmas is here!

That means hacking down trees and dragging them inside your house, lying to your children about a home invader in a strange blouse, and tweets about what happens if a mall Santa sits on another mall Santa.

Here are some funny jokes you can read while hiding from your racist uncle with a bottle of port and phone charger in the bathroom…

Care for the older generation.

Family values.

Watching classic Christmas movies.

Kids’ magical meetings with Santa

The grace of a reindeer drawn sleigh.

The wonder of the nativity.

♬All of the other reindeer…♬

Family. Family. Family.

Ritual and tradition.

And of course a little politics around the fire.

The 10 Most Cringeworthy Star Wars Moments

(starwarsvillians)

Episode VIII is almost here and Star Wars nostalgia is in full swing. It’s fun to think back on all our favorite moments, but let’s be honest, there are plenty of less-than-amazing moments in the Star Wars saga. Downright cringeworthy moments. Let’s look back at some of the best/worst moments we love to hate.

1 Lame CGI additions to the original trilogy

The absurd moments Lucas added into the original trilogy are a sore spot for many Star Wars fans. A moment of silence for the extended CGI rendition of the Max Rebo Band performance at Jabba’s Palace, and how two minutes of our lives were stolen forever.

2 Dad-joke Vader choke in Rogue One

Entire theaters full of people rolled their eyes when Director Krennic was being force-choked and Vader delivered one of the worst space-dad jokes of all time.

Honestly, I don’t blame Vader. If I was a feared galactic super villain, it would be hard not to throw around corny jokes just to watch everyone squirm.

3 Qui-Gon: "There's always a bigger fish."

Even the light-side can’t help but spurt out lame-ass unnecessary jokes. Intended as comic relief, it’s more like comic pain. That’s some Jar Jar-level bullshit, Qui-Gon.

4 "Midi-Chlorians" are a thing? Apparently?

Midi-what? In Episode I, Qui-Gon tells Anakin about “intelligent microscopic life forms that live symbiotically inside the cells of all living things” that make up the Force.

Why is this the first time we’ve heard about a literal blood test for determining potential Jedi? And it’s never discussed again. Is this supposed to be common knowledge in the Star Wars universe? Too bad the blood test doesn’t also screen for space serial killers too…

(Star Wars Report)

5 Anakin doesn't like sand.

The most awkward scene ever, where beautiful Natalie Portman wistfully tells a guy about her memories of spending time on the beach and he responds with this:

(Buzzfeed)

Uhhh….Okay? Way to win her heart, Anakin.

6 "I have the high ground."

Obi-Wan announces this to Anakin at the end of their lightsaber battle, but he knows that’s not a real thing, right? He’s really not that much higher anyway.

Revenge Of The Sith Episode 3 GIF by Star Wars - Find & Share on GIPHY

Apparently this principle doesn’t apply to Vader in Return of the Jedi though, because he just chucks his lightsaber from the low ground.

7 Anything Jar-Jar

Jar. Jar. Binks. Need we say more?

8 LUMPY!

Here’s one you may not have heard of. In 1978 there was a Christmas musical (yep!) film called The Star Wars Holiday Special, and in it was the first ever appearance of Chewbacca’s son. His name: Lumpawaroo. But just as his dad went by “Chewy,” this kid went by “Lumpy.” And yes, this is official Star Wars canon.

9 "Are you an angel?"

Anakin is like, maybe 8 years old, tops, and he hits on a much older Padme, asking her if she’s an angel. (Because “angels are the most beautiful things in the universe.”) The only thing that makes a bad pick-up line worse is when it’s delivered by a small child.

(The Star Wars Tribute Blog)

10 The Luke/Leia kiss

Listen. None of us wanted to see this. Han Solo’s displeased face in this is all of us. Just, yuck. I still can’t watch this without wanting to wash my eyes out with soap.

(CNET)