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I live in constant fear that someone will notice I only know three people's names and one of them is mine

Legend has it he's still pulling glitter out of his beard today.

Oh, and also, to score better you have to go into debt. NO. NOT LIKE THAT

Maybe the first good mow after the snow melts, but that's it

Yes, I have the ability to tell you. No, I'm not going to.

They say your home decor should reflect who you are. I'm fine