Mark Chalifoux

Mark Chalifoux

Mark Chalifoux is a stand-up comedian who has been featured on Fox and IFC and has made national radio appearances on The Bob and Tom Show, SiriusXM and BBC Radio. As a writer, Mark has contributed to ESPN.com, CBS Digital, The Baltimore Sun, The Cincinnati Enquirer and The Chalifoux Family Christmas Newsletter. Mark is the father to a beautiful and amazing daughter and her sister.

NBA Star Putting up Points in Custom “Superbad” Jordans

McLovin Jordans
(Twitter/NickDePaula)

Few things are more sacred to a pro athlete’s uniform than shoes. Whether it’s custom cleats paying homage to an icon or a cool new collab, athletes know how to do shoes. And most fans pay closer attention to the footwear they actually wear in games, rather than what they peddling for endorsement deals. And Blake Griffin’s “Superbad” custom Jordan 35s are standouts when it comes to awesome NBA footwear.

“Superbad” is a classic coming of age, teen comedy. It was a breakthrough movie for Jonah Hill and it was a longtime passion project for Seth Rogen. But it was “McLovin” who stole the best scenes in the film, and even Blake Griffin agrees, given he sports a classic turn from the film on his shoes.

The new Brooklyn Nets addition wore the Jordan 35s complete with a fake Hawaii ID, calling back one of the funniest parts of the flick. He also made sure to customize them his own face instead of Christopher Mintz-Plasse and “McGriffin” instead of “McLovin”, which make for a perfect homage.

Griffin has averaged 17 points per game since joining the team from Detroit. The Nets will be one of the favorites to win the title in the playoffs, and you can’t help but root for a flying, dunking “McLovin” on the court.

Guy Motivates Paralyzed Pal’s Rehab By Promising He Can Kick Him in the Nuts

Paralyzed Man Kick in Balls
(TikTok/ChaseGetsBetter)

A traumatic injury earlier this year left a young man ‘completely paralysed under [his] shoulders.’ Chase faced a long rehab and was even told he’d be leaving the facility in a wheelchair. But his friend Dan offered him a ballsy reward to help inspire his recovery. He promised that once he regained movement in his legs Chase could kick him right in the nuts.

It was exactly the motivation Chase needed, as he began a robust rehab program to rebuild the strength in his body so he could walk again.

But more importantly, to finally kick Dan in the balls.

@chasegetsbetterGood luck, Dan ##fyp ##foryou ##paralyzed ##disabled ##kickinthenuts♬ original sound – Chase Gets Better

He documented his recovery on a TikTok account, Chase Gets Better. It starts with him barely able to move and shows his dedicated work with the recovery team. One of the therapists working with him to train his legs noted it would be the left leg to use for the job, saying it had “way more force” than expected.

He got out of the hospital a few months later, and it was finally time for Dan to take HIS medicine. He introduced himself in a follow-up clip, where he lays it all out pretty simply: “Hey guys, I’m Dan and I’m about to be kicked in the balls.”

He covered his eyes so he wouldn’t see it coming, and then that’s exactly what happened, as Chase delivered a swift and clean kick, dropping Dan to the floor. After he regained his composure, he said he felt good. Chase thanked him for helping him during “the most difficult challenge” of his life.

@chasegetsbetterYou all asked for it, so HERE IT IS! ##WorthTheWait ##fyp ##foryou ##nutshotforchase ##kickinthenuts♬ original sound – Chase Gets Better

That is what true friends do, help each other no matter the cost.

Adam Sandler Reunites With IHOP Hostess That Turned Him Away

Sandler IHOP Reunion
(TikTok/dayanna.rodas)

A hostess at IHOP went viral on Tik Tok when she admitted to turning away Adam Sandler. But this story has a happy madison-style ending because IHOP pulled out all the stops (and milkshakes) to bring Sandler back to reunite with the young woman.

Dayanna Rodas shared the IHOP security footage of her informing Sandler of the long wait for a table and him leaving the restaurant.

@dayanna.rodasPleaseee come back ##comedy ##fyp ##foryou ##viral ##adamsandler♬ Be A Clown – ָ࣪ ۰♥︎ Osuna ࣪𖥔꒷

But here’s the thing; she shouldn’t feel bad. Sandler is wearing a mask, and it’s not like he’s the most recognizable person on Earth. Also, he’s just a person, and Sandler himself would be the first to admit he doesn’t need special treatment at a pancake diner. He’s a down-to-earth guy, he didn’t play the “Do you know who I am?” card to get breakfast with his kid. It was a normal interaction.

The internet can gummy things up, and she did put it out there, but eventually, Sandler himself did reply, saying on Twitter he only left because the nice woman told him the “all-you-can-eat” deal didn’t apply to milkshakes.

So then IHOP upped the ante, and made an “all-you-can-eat” milkshake deal at all Long Island locations, and also announced they’d donate up to $50,000 to Comedy Gives Back, which helps comedians affected by the pandemic (a charity Sandler has supported in the past). And of course, he can’t pass up the all-you-can-eat milkshakes, so Sandler DID come back.

And this time, Rodas recognized him.

@dayanna.rodasCouldn’t have been more excited!! Thank you Adam Sandler! ##fyp ##ihop ##milkshakemonday ##adamsandler ##awesome ##viral♬ Best Day Of My Life – American Authors

General Mills Is Bringing Back All the Monsters for One Scary Cereal

Cereal Monster Mash
(General Mills/Twitter/Cerealouslynet)

We live in the golden age of iconic team-ups. The Avengers changed cinema. Star Wars is bringing old characters into the new shows. Durant and LeBron form super teams in the NBA. And now all of the classic cereal box monsters are coming together for the first time in history.

Social media is aflame with the rumor General Mills will be bringing back their seasonal monster cereals. Some of which we haven’t seen for quite a while and now we’ll see them in a whole new way. Maybe this is a precursor to the monster cereal movie universe?

The OGs, Count Chocula and Franken Berry debuted in 1971. Then along came Boo-Berry. Next up, Fruit Brute (ok, this werewolf wasn’t as big), and then Yummy Mummy wrapped things up in the late 80s. And now General Mills is celebrating 50 years of Monster Cereals (Count Chocula and Franken Berry debuted in 1971) by combining them all into one box.

Remember when character *mattered* in cereal? Now, things are so lax that no one even recognizes who is on a Wheaties box. And then Captain Crunch accidentally made a box of all crunch berries and we just accepted it. But the Monster cereals, stood for something, and we’ll be transported back in time this Halloween when we introduce our kids to a true Monster Mash.

The “artificially berry-flavored frosted cereal” will be a true hybrid and include monster marshmallows from all the Monster cereals, for one scary good breakfast.

Texas Girl Records Video Introducing Younger Brother With Autism to the School

Girl Introduces Autistic Brother
(Facebook/taniavanbree)

A Fifth-grader named Elli was going to be attending the same school as her little brother Willem for the first time, so she made a video about him and his autism so other kids would know how to treat him.

She made the video for her fifth-grade class, and she offered her classmates ideas about how to interact with a person with autism. She also told her friends to say hello to her brother, and be patient with him, and speak up if they see him being bullied. The teacher played the video during the school announcements to the entire school.

Elli described his tablet, saying:

He has words in his head like everyone else. His brain just doesn’t cooperate the way he wants. It gets frustrating for him, but he still makes tons of sounds to practice.

Later she says: “Sometimes new kids, or loud places, scare him because his ears and eyes are extra sensitive.”

And she closes her autism awareness video, introducing the school to her brother, with the most heartwarming summation.

“Overall, he’s a kid like you and me. And, I hope you love him as much as I do.”

The video got a standing ovation, as well it should. Any parent who has a child that endures extra challenges knows how exhausting it can be for the entire family. You know how special your child is, and you hope the rest of the world will take the extra minute to see it too. And when your other kid has that kind of love for their sibling, it has to warm your heart to know you’re doing something right.

Relax, Be Chill, There’s Just a Tiger On the Loose in a Texas Suburb

Tiger on the loose in texas
(Twitter/michaelschwab13)

There are some steadfast rules to neighborhood life. You wave to every car even though you can barely remember a single neighbor’s name. You don’t leave your trash cans out too long, and you have a day or two, either way, to cut your grass after your neighbors do. And you don’t let your tiger roam free.

OK, well, the tiger part only applies if you live in Texas. One Houston street got the shock of a lifetime earlier this week when a Bengal Tiger was spotted walking around. Someone pulled his car over to yell at the owner to get him to get his tiger back inside. The entire episode blew up on social media, and why wouldn’t it when you have a jungle predator strolling around. This feels like some ill-conceived jungle book parody, but nope, just some dude’s tiger is on the loose.

A driver (apparently an off-duty cop) pulled over (lord knows why) to bark at the guy. It was around 8 p.m. when the big cat was spotted, calls were placed to police, etc., etc. But the man pulled over to yell at the owner, sensibly, I guess, to get his animal back inside.

Why you would get out of your car when the aforementioned tiger was on the loose is equally deranged, in my humble opinion, but it led to a standoff that captivated the entire internet.

“Ge the f— back inside, f— you and your f—-ing tiger,” the man said. He later told reporters the man said “Ok, ok” and kissed the tiger, and pulled him back inside. Police came to the neighborhood to investigate the incident. Apparently, the man put a tiger into an SUV and drove away. The cops apprehended the man BUT THE TIGER IS STILL ON THE LOOSE. VERY CHILL AND COOL.

Maybe let the tiger-charmer out of jail until this thing is corralled. Either way, if you see a Bengal tiger wandering around your neighborhood in Houston, just ignore it, because all the best jokes have been done on Twitter.

The CEO of the Humane Society told reporters it is incredibly inhumane to have tigers in your house, you know, just in case you were on the fence (the one the tiger jumped) about whether or not you should have one as a pet.

“People have died from this,” she said.

At the same time, there is no place for this in suburb life. Having a tiger on the loose is a very 2020 thing, and frankly, we have all moved on to a better place.

MLB Pitcher Throws No-Hitter After His Son Makes Him Wear a Hulk Tattoo

Wade Miley No Hitter Hulk
(Twitter/Cut4)

You won’t like him when he’s angry, especially if you’re an opposing hitter. Cincinnati Reds pitcher Wade Miley threw a pure gem of a game and registered MLB’s fourth no-hitter of the young season. It’s all thanks to his 4-year-old son who insisted he put an Incredible Hulk temporary tattoo on his arm.

“I got no muscles at all, I’m shriveled up, but maybe this gave me some strength,” he told reporters after the game. “I don’t know, it was fun. I’m going to try to get my wife to order as many Hulk tattoos as she can. Maybe I’ll slap one on before every start.”

Miley wanted it on his shoulder so he could hide it. But his son had to have it on his forearm, so the dad gave in. He said his kid loves the Avengers (like all of us!).

“I’m rocking it,” he said of The Hulk tattoo.

The Reds beat the Cleveland Indians 3-0 in the game. Miley said as it progressed, all his friends on the team stopped talking to him around the sixth inning, lest they say something to jinx him. And both the team manager and his catcher said they’ve never seen ANY team as excited as they were for the 34-year-old dad notching his first no-hitter.

“He’s been around for a long time,” Tucker Barnhart said. “His personality is so infectious. He’s just a genuine, great dude. I can’t really say it any way other than that. Everybody in the locker room loves him. I’ve never really seen an entire team so happy for just one person in my career. I’m very, very, very lucky, fortunate and grateful to be a part of that tonight.”

Barnhart is a great catcher, an underrated part of a pitcher’s no-hitter. And now the dad gets to bask in the joy of his historical, Hulk-inspired game, while the powers that be in Major League Baseball can decide if temporary tattoos from your four-year-old constitute a performance-enhancer.

“I Made It!” Golfer in Tears in Call to Dad After Finally Qualifying For PGA

Pro Golfer Calls Dad
(Twitter/PGATour)

After pro golfer Michael Visacki sank a 20-foot putt in a playoff, he accomplished his lifelong goal of qualifying for a PGA event and immediately got on the phone to tell his dad.

Watching him break down in tears is something that will hit you right in the feels. A son at his pinnacle, sharing the moment with his father who has supported him since he was 8 years old.

“I made it,” he said to his dad as he was choking back tears. His dad’s eyes weren’t any drier.

“You did it,” his dad said. “Oh my god, oh my goodness, I’m crying. Congratulations.”

Later, Visacki said in an interview that his parents went above and beyond in supporting his passion at a young age, taking him to tournaments he qualified and helping grow his passion, even when it strained the family budget.

“They have given up everything for me,” he said. “They knew I was able to do it and they were always there for me. My dad cried, my mom cried, and I cried.”

It’s a testament to fighting for your dream and to the difference a parent can make in that journey. It’s one of those cool moments in sports, where you get to see the moment a person accomplishes a near-impossible task.

After 6 Years, Dad Finishes His Goal to Park in Every Spot at His Grocery Store

Dad Parks Everywhere at Grocery Store
(Twitter/GarethWild)

There are certain errands that become so ritualized, you need to do something a little different to stop yourself from sleepwalking through life. A man in London tasked with endless mundane grocery shopping decided to make the most of it. He challenged himself to park in every single spot in the lot. And after six years of hauling groceries, he’s finally achieved his goal.

It started in 2015, he shared on Twitter:

After quite a few years of going each week I started thinking about how many of the different spots I’d parked in and how long it would take to park in them all. My life is one long roller coaster.

He figured out there were 211 possible spots he was eligible to park in. Given that he went about once a week for his regular grocery trip, and the rare occasional extra trip, he estimated it would take about four years to complete. COVID-19 changed that (like it did everything else).

He told The TODAY Show the only rule was that he had to use eligible spots and he had to be there for legitimate shopping.

“I didn’t want to cheat myself by cutting corners, otherwise what’s the point? How could I look my children in the face if I snuck down at midnight when the shop was shut and ticked off a load of spaces?” he said. It took him six years to complete, but his Magnum Opus is in the history books.

Not only did he manage to take a routine chore and inject some fun into it (I mean if you call diligently tracking your parking in a spreadsheet fun), Wild is also doing some good for humanity with his quest. He’s soliciting donations to the Bromley Foodbank from his admirers, and they’ve begun to send in donations (and more are always welcome, food banks definitely need help these days!).

Ultimately, he said, “these little challenges we set ourselves to keep us from going crazy are what make us who we are.”

Now that he’s conquered the grocery store, he’s looking for his next Everest, so six years from now we should be hearing about his next triumph.

Good Samaritan, Dad, Describes Jumping Off Bridge To Save Toddler

Bridge Hero Describes Saving Toddler
(Twitter/7NewsDC)

A Good Samaritan who leaped from a bridge to save a baby after a car crash has finally come forward. And we’re finally getting more details from one of the wildest stories of the year. The capital-H Hero, Jonathan Bauer, jumped nearly 30-feet off a bridge to save a two-year-old who had been ejected from a car during a five-car crash on the bridge. Bauer is a dad, and it was his dad instincts that took over when he saw the girl in the water.

He gave a press conference so he could praise the first responders who came to the scene of the crash. Bauer, who initially didn’t want to be identified, said the first thing he did after the crash was made sure he and his 12-year-old daughter were OK. Then he went to the truck he saw turn over the railing.

After helping someone out, they just pointed down to the water.

“I saw the car seat and some other items and about six feet away from the car was a little girl,” he said. “She was on her back, completely floating, head completely out of the water, arms moving, legs kicking and a little pink dress.”

Then the girl flipped over and sunk under the surface. That’s when Bauer told his daughter to tell the first firefighter or police officer to arrive what happened. And then Bauer, who is afraid of heights, moved the edge of the bridge, and JUMPED INTO THE BAY BELOW TO SAVE THE BABY.

Total legend move. But when a dad sees a kid facing mortal danger, there are no other options than epic heroism. His own daughter said seeing her dad jump off the bridge was the scariest part of her life.  At the press conference, his wife said he’s afraid of heights.

“I can’t say how proud I am of him,” his wife said, tearing up. “It doesn’t surprise me. If you know him, you know that that is something he would do.”

Bauer said he popped up, swam over to the girl, and put her against his shoulder as he aggressively patted her on the back. She spit up a bunch of water, coughed a lot, and then took a deep breath.

Boaters pulled the two out of the water, and the toddler was flown to a nearby hospital, having her life saved by Bauer.

The mayor of Ocean City called him a “humble hero”, but he’s bigger than that. He is a full legend.

This Toaster Plays the Imperial March From Star Wars and It Slaps

A Star Wars themed toaster that plays the Imperial March
(Nerdist)

Dads love Star Wars, dads love gadgets, and dads love breakfast. Now, all three come together in a glorious symphony of nerdy goodness.  Sometimes it’s good to just enjoy something with no true point, like playing the iconic “Imperial March” on a toaster.

The video is from the geniuses at Device Orchestra, and it started making the rounds this month after it was picked up by Nerdist. And it’s just fun. That’s all there is to it. A guy figures out a way to make his toaster play one of the great movie themes of all time.

There’s plenty we can debate here, such as whether this toaster has succumbed to the dark side, or whether it can still be redeemed. Maybe we can angle for a sequel, or start a fan campaign to get this toaster to do The Mandalorian music next.

The video does a great job explaining the science behind it, but basically, it’s the toaster’s coil that can be changed into the music maker and controlled by a microcontroller. The toast and toothbrush light sabers are added for effect, which is very appreciated considering how hard this version of Darth Vader’s entrance music really goes. The color guard never gets the same recognition as the marching band.

This is just the first step down your path to the dark side, too. You can do a deep dive into Device Orchestra and watch a bunch of other terrific videos. And then you can sneer at your own toaster for being such a dang underachiever.

Mom Creates Edible Crayons That Are Okay if Kids Shove in Their Mouths

Edible Crayon
(Kickstarter/mizuiro.inc,)

For as long as crayons have existed, kids have tried to eat them. If you’re not watching a toddler every single second of the day, they will get to get that crayon in their mouth. Finally, someone has had enough.

Naoko Kimura, a graphic designer in Japan, started a company to create an edible crayon and has a Kickstarter campaign to make the Oyasai crayons available all around the globe. Working from home, Kimura realized she needed a solution to the inevitable hurdle of kids chomping down on their favorite coloring utensils. She created a formula using vegetables and rice, and the colors are added using figments of fruits and vegetable powders and a small amount of added pigment. The colors are even named after foods, to help keep that connection to vegetables.

Of course, Crayola and all the other crayon companies will tell you they are non-toxic. And they are. But I was today years old when I learned there is a stark difference between “edible” and “non-toxic.” Non-toxic is what my kids call my cooking. Edible is what they call their mother’s cooking (toddlers are vicious).

I always assumed crayons were edible already, which may or may not be based on my own field-testing. But ‘non-toxic’ means it’s not going to be an ER trip if your kid nibbles on a violet crayon. Edible means it’s like, actual food. (I mean, these are still meant to be crayons, not colorful snacks).

The crayons may be safe to eat, but that doesn’t mean we ought to give little ones the all-clear either. The rest of their toys are still very much not food, so we don’t want them to get too many ideas. However, you could give these to a toddler for an unsupervised minute, and the only thing you’d have to worry about are your walls.

The Rock on the Handshake, and the Second Chance, That Changed His Life

A scene from The Rock's new show where young Dwayne Johnson shakes his coaches hand.
(Instagram/TheRock///NBC)

“We can all look back at defining moments and people that changed the direction of our lives,” The Rock wrote on Instagram. And he’s right. For all of us, there’s a moment (or two…or three) that changed the course of our lives and who we would become. Even superstar The Rock had a moment that changed his entire life, and he shared the story on Instagram after it was featured in a recent episode of “The Young Rock.”

Dwayne Johnson was 15 years old when he moved to Bethlehem PA and attended a new high school. He was not… an ideal student, to say the least. Within a month he had been arrested as well as suspended for fighting. He also had an incident with a coach in the teachers’ lounge, which almost came to blows. That’s not exactly the profile of someone on the path to becoming a professional athlete and the biggest movie star in the world.

“I acted like a real asshole to him, so the next day I found him so I could apologize eye to eye and face to face,” The Rock wrote of the handshake that changed his life. “When he wouldn’t let my hand go, I thought he was gonna deck the shit outta me, but instead he said something to me that would change the course of life.”

In the clip, the coach explains that everyone deserves a second chance. He also takes the opportunity to talk to him about playing football. That set him on a course to collegiate football, and eventually the WWE (and beyond).

The Rock said he’s always going to be grateful to that coach, who has since passed away. “Thank you coach,” he wrote, “for seeing the potential in that punk kid. You shaking my hand and NOT letting it go, changed my life.”

“Cheers to second chances and moments that change your life,” he wrote.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by therock (@therock)

This is important, for multiple reasons. First, because it’s a chance to think back on our own lives, and have gratitude for the people and events that shaped us. But second: now, as we get older, we have the chance to be on the other side of that handshake.

 

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A post shared by therock (@therock)

As the coaches, teachers and authority figures dealing with kids who can sometimes -in Johnson’s words- be “assholes”, we need to remember how much impact forgiveness and second chances can have on a kid. It’s a good reminder for when you see someone struggling, hold on to that handshake a few seconds longer, and let them know someone cares about them.