At this point it feels intentional

I'm not going to remember what grade they got on a math test, but I'll remember this.

What, are we paying for ghosts to be able see?

Automatic 5-star Yelp review for any restaurant with chicken tenders

Take him to IKEA and just see what happens

I live in constant fear that someone will notice I only know three people's names and one of them is mine

Yes, I have the ability to tell you. No, I'm not going to.

Not knowing isn't a weakness, it's an opportunity to learn

Have you met our kids

Looking foolish is at least 80% of the fun in most situations

Oh, and also, to score better you have to go into debt. NO. NOT LIKE THAT

Still not enough