I spend my days waiting for my next meal and I don't know when that changed

Gushers were the holy grail of desserts.

I feel the overwhelming need to floss just thinking about it

THEY appreciated my lasagna

Smells like reject candy

And hey, maybe they'll love cooking so much the'll want to take over one day. A man can dream

Takes an hour to clean up after they make cereal, it's honestly impressive

A very urgent opportunity

Ok but who hasn't

Automatic 5-star Yelp review for any restaurant with chicken tenders

Next time I should probably take it out of the Baskin Robbins cup though

At least the dad tax won't get me arrested for trying my best