I spend my days waiting for my next meal and I don't know when that changed

Gushers were the holy grail of desserts.

Automatic 5-star Yelp review for any restaurant with chicken tenders

Takes an hour to clean up after they make cereal, it's honestly impressive

Smells like reject candy

Pumpkins are out, wreaths are in

Honey, is everything ok? You haven't even hit "Hilarious"

If you know, you know

Ok but who hasn't

And hey, maybe they'll love cooking so much the'll want to take over one day. A man can dream

I feel the overwhelming need to floss just thinking about it

Next time I should probably take it out of the Baskin Robbins cup though