If I drank an energy drink right now it would 100% be the end

It's called job security

Or when it's time to put their shoes on

There isn't enough ibuprofen in the world for that one

Next time I should probably take it out of the Baskin Robbins cup though

Attempt at your own risk

Love to start each day with my life flashing before my eyes


Great, thanks

No matter who wins, you lose.

The buyer's remorse is real

Should've texted her a photo from the grocery to confirm. :(