Haha but seriously.

And hey, maybe they'll love cooking so much the'll want to take over one day. A man can dream

Hit 'em with the Uno reverse and ask them to help YOU move

If they take away your snow days, you've gotta make your own

Same feeling as when she brings home pizza unannounced

When you say "we..." is that like, the royal we

Last time I fall for that one. Today at least

It's a truly terrible system

Depends on what you mean by "effective," I guess

16 Years ago I went on a trip and thought, "man, I wish I had my Crock-Pot" and I've never left home without it since. Nor have I used it.

Last time I went there were like 8 dads in front of me, but they don't take reservations

Responding with "are you insane" any time someone tries to make plans can also stay