Jared Warner or something you find in dirty diaper. We aren't sure.

Jared Warner

Everything Dads Want To Watch This Month On Netflix, Amazon, HBO & Hulu

July Streaming
(IMDB)

Look, either you’re someone who is already excited that Stranger Things 3 is here, or you’re not. Either way, it feels like you don’t really need us to tell you about it. Instead, we’re sticking to our wheelhouse and sharing picks for the best new streaming releases that dads need to know about. So if you’re stumped for family film night, hopeless at choosing a date flick, or just jonesing for a good rock-em sock-em dad movie, we’ve got you covered. Here’s what’s now – or soon to be – streaming on Netflix, Amazon, Hulu and HBO. Some are new, some are old, but all of them are better than scrolling for an hour saying “well what do you wanna watch, dear?”

Family Night Movies: 

Kid-friendly movies that won’t bore you out of your freaking mind.

A Little Princess (Hulu, July 1)
This is a don’t-judge-a-movie-by-the-poster situation. While the VHS cover your wife remembers from the Blockbuster days looks like a half-assed hallmark movie, this Alfonso Cuarón (Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban) classic is fantastic. An adventure about the love between a father and daughter, you will find yourself wrapped up in the story as much as your kids, no joke. There’s only a teeny tiny bit of colonialism to cringe through, but everyone’s favorite Onion Night, Liam Cunningham, plays the dad!

Wallace & Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit (HBO, July 1)

Wallace & Gromit
(imdb.com)
You can’t go wrong with Wallace and Gromit, and this is the only theatrical length release in the series. This time the clay-namic duo are pest control agents fighting a scourge of vegetable stealing rabbits, when a brainwashing device thing turns Wallace into a giant rabbit monster.  This won the Oscar for best animated film of 2005, and is a nice change up from the sing along fairy tale style kids movie.

Mary Poppins Returns (Netflix, July 9)
Despite being made almost 50 years later, this sequel feels totally true to the spirit of the original. I thought for sure it’d be a soulless money grab, but Emily Blunt nails it, and Lin Manuel Miranda’s music is enjoyable, while not infectious; so you probably won’t have to keep listening to it in the car forever! Although, no joke, “The Cover Is Not The Book’ is a. Show. Stopper.

The Princess and the Frog (Netflix, July 16th)

A Crocodile playing a trumpet
(imdb.com)

On the other side of this Princess scale is one of the the most criminally underrated Disney movies. This was the last of the traditionally animated Disney flicks, which will take you back to the golden era of 90s Disney, but still feels fresh enough to be entertaining for everyone. Also, the music in this is one thousand times less annoying than whatever the Frozen II song is probably going to be. 5 Stars.

The Epic Tale of Captain Underpants Season 3 (Netflix, July 19th)
This is not a recommendation. This is fair warning that on July 19th your TV needs to be mysteriously broken.

Date Night Movies: 

Kids staying with the grandparents for the night? Here’s your fix for grown up flicks.

Bull Durham (Hulu, July 1)

Kevin Costner and Tim Robbins
(Imdb.com)

in 2003, Sports Illustrated called this the greatest sports movie ever made, and while there have been some good ones since, it remains one of the funniest. I mean, it’s not Major League funny, but it’s got more jokes than all these new romcoms about millennials who hate weddings, but have to go to a bunch of weddings.

Frankenstein’s Monster’s Monster, Frankenstein (Netflix, July 16)
This David Harbour (Stranger Things) mockumentary follows the rising star searching for the truth about his father’s legacy in what looks like a mix between Documentary Now and how Orsen Wells actually was.

I mean…what?

Hellboy (Amazon, July 23)
And on that David Harbour note, the awful Hellboy movie he made, like last month is already available! You probably made the right call skipping it in theaters, but Prime is perfect for catching up on ridiculous movies without the cineplex pricing. If you and yours like playing your own version of MST3K at home, or would rather just make out on the couch for a couple hours instead of actually watching something, look no further than this popcorn disaster.

Movies To Show Your Kids But Not Tell Their Mother

Look, I’m not saying these movies are appropriate for children, and am in no way advocating that you show them to your kid. Especially if they’re younger than a preteen.  I’m just saying when our dads showed us these movies when we were preteens, those were like, landmark movie watching experiences that blew our freaking minds, right?

Caddyshack (Netflix, July 1)

Caddyshack
(Imdb.com)

Ah, the good ole’ days when Chevy Chase being an asshole was funny, and Bill Murray being weird wasn’t just for hipsters. Caddyshack 2 is of course, not necessary, but they threw that in there too if you’re bored or sick one day.

Roadhouse (Netflix, July 1)

Road House
(imdb.com)

Long before the John Wick series introduced a world where every single person was a secret assassin living by a code of conduct, Patrick Swayze suggested that all bar bouncers operated like roaming samurai, living by a code of honor. This Wal-Mart bargain bin staple is filled to the brim with sex and violence, so again, The Dad does not earnestly recommend showing it to your kids. But i mean, like, c’mon.

Airplane! (Hulu, July 1)
Surely you’re aware that this is the funniest movie ever made?

Dad Movies

What’s that? You have the freedom to sit down and watch something just for you? Reveal your secret, oh wise one. But first, here are some movies perfect to bask in before you fall asleep on the couch.

Rocky 1-5 (Hulu, July 1)

ROCKY IV
(imdb.com)

Look, you may think the first Rocky movie is the only one that’s any good, and you may be “correct” in that “analysis” of these “films.” But there is legit a robot in Rocky IV, and it rules, and if you say you don’t like that one, you are a dirty liar.

True Grit (2015) (Amazon, July 14)
“Fill your hand you son of a bitch!” is the greatest line of dialogue ever written, and getting to see Jeff Bridges’ take on Rooster Cogburn is very satisfying. Don’t get me wrong, nothing beats the John Wayne classic, but the Coen Brothers did a pretty bang-up job of trying. Plus, Matt Damon is a better actor than Glen Cambell. By like, a lot.

Apollo 11 (Hulu, July 20th) & First Man (HBO July 20)

Apollo 11
(imdb.com)

If I learned anything from my own father, it’s the one dad move to rule them all: take control of the remote, put on a documentary about outer space or WWII, and then immediately fall asleep. Well, good luck nodding off during either of this year’s moon landing movies, because they’re both awesome.  Apollo 11 is composed of never-before-seen footage and audio recordings from mankind’s greatest achievement; no documentary style talking heads here, this is designed to let you relive the Apollo mission as though you are there when it happened. Then, while First Man isn’t quite a documentary, director Damien Chazelle (Whiplash, La La Land) really outdid himself, and the final half hour might as well have been filmed on the moon itself.

Oh, and speaking of space movies and my own dad, you can see them both when the groundbreaking miniseries, From The Earth To The Moon returns to HBO on July 15th. He played the guy who figured out the windows for the Lunar Lander, and in true dad-fashion, reminds me that he “basically saved the space program” every chance he gets.

Nasa Scientist
Russell, a professional nerd. (HBO)

So there you go. Now there’s no excuse to just stream The Office again. Happy streaming!

Guy Harvey is Giving Dad Shoes A Run For Their Money

For most of my childhood growing up in Florida the work of Dr. Guy Harvey was basically the only art that I knew existed. Okay, that may be an exaggeration, but you would be hard pressed to find a mom-n’-pop restaurant in my home county that doesn’t have one of Harvey’s prints on the wall. And even if you don’t know the name, you probably recognize the style.

Guy Harvey painting of a marlin and a sea turtle
(GuyHarvey.com)

But Guy Harvey is more than just a popular artist. He’s a marine life conservationist and scientist whose environmental work, along with his iconic paintings, have made him a hero for everyone with a soft spot for the sea. For families who fish or sail, his paintings represent a whole lifestyle of easy-going fun. He’s baically to sports fisherman and boating dads what Jimmy Buffet is to day drinkers.

Now Harvey has partnered with Jack Schwartz Shoes Inc to introduce a line of casual footwear featuring the iconic artwork that made him so popular among fishermen and grillmasters a like.

Guy Harvey Shoes
Beauts (Guy Harvey)

“We’re proud to be partnering with JSSI to create comfortable, colorful, quality shoes that can take you from the boat to the beach to the barbecue,” – Dr. Guy Harvey

The Castaway Flyer sandal goes for about 50 bucks, and both the Atlantic and Gulf linen oxfords are $55. Considering that a fresh pair of New Balance will set you back $80, and your wife won’t roll her eyes if you wear these out to dinner, that’s pretty good.

Now, nobody is saying dads should ditch their white sneakers, here. After all, there will always be yard work. These puppies are more for lounging on the deck, or avoiding hearing your wife say “are those really the shoes you’re wearing?” every now and again. 

I kind of expected the shoes to be styled the same way as a lot Guy Harvey merchandise, with his art heavily featured. When he partnered with Norwegien Cruise Lines, the design was front and center, so part of me wondered if the shoes would look kinda like…

Guy Harvey in front of a cruise ship decorated with his artwork.
(Instagram)

But the shoes are actually really clean, simple takes on oxfords and sandals, which was a great way to go. Comfy, but classy, that’s the way dads roll.

For both of the full shoes, the image lives on the insoles, while on the flip-flop — excuse me, I’m from Florida. Ahem. While on the sandal, the art is tastefully printed on the bottom of the sole.

There are other little design touches nodding to Harvey throughout the shoe, like his signature Marlin etched into the sole, and a nautical flag detail. It’s a nice touch for any Captain Dads out there, but also minimalist and clean enough for any landlubbers wardrobe. They even passed the Lego test.

Like walking on air.

Even though they’re reasonably priced, a portion of the profits go to The Guy Harvey Ocean Foundation to fund research and education programs aimed at ocean conservation.

The GHOF are global leaders in tagging and tracking sharks and billfish, and their work helps keep the ocean’s ecosystem balanced and safe for future generations to enjoy. The shoes are great, and the cause is even better.

You can get your own pair here.

This post was sponsored by:
JSSI X Guy Harvey

What’s New for Dads On Netflix and Amazon

Documentary Now S03, Spider-Man, Platoon
(Imdb)

Summer is here and movie season is in full swing. But while Godzilla stomps and John Wick shoots their way through cinemas, there is plenty to be excited about for dads who like to stay in for the night. We’ve gone through the new releases coming to our favorite streaming platforms and are presenting our picks for the must-watch movies and shows for dads and their families.

Netflix:
Netfix is pulling out the big guns right out the gate with Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. Well, okay, not the big guns, cause Bale Batman doesn’t shoot people or rip their faces off with a bat-tire, but you get what I’m saying. With all the Avengers excitement this past year or so, it’s fun going back to the “Distinguished Competition” for super heroics with a little less banter and a little more Krav Maga. The Nolan Batman movies started streaming on the 1st.

Though if you’re understandably a little tired of capes and cowls, there are some classic dad movies like Oliver Stone’s Platoon or Sidney Lument’s Network that are perfect for kicking everyone out of the living room and enjoying. Bonus points if you can pull off yelling every half hour or so about how they don’t make “pictures” like that anymore. 

If you need a family movie night, two of last years best movies are available this month, and they happen to be kid friendly! Starting June 11th you can catch Ralph Breaks the Internet, and Spider-Man: Into The Spiderverse drops on the 26th. Both were nominated for Best Animated Picture, with Spiderverse winning in the end, although to be fair, it was actually the best movie of last year, animated or otherwise.

Also for the kids, Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch arrives June 5th. Why anyone would want to watch a Christmas movie in June is beyond me, but I made my parents watch the Babar Christmas special like five thousand times when I was a kid, so hey, tis the season.

As far as binge-worthy shows go, June’s got you covered with the third season of Documentary Now! on June 3rd. If you haven’t watched this show, you are missing out on the funniest freaking thing on television. Bill Hader and Fred Armison, along with Seth Myers and just about every other funny person in the country have come together to produce parodies of the most prestigious documentaries ever produced. It’s just fantastic.

Then on June 5th we get a new season of Black Mirror. Following the success of the Bendersnatch choose-your-own-adventure, this 5th season of the techno-nightmare anthology is going back to basics with three new episodes. This season Miley Cyrus was cast in one of the episodes, which makes as much sense as anything else on the show, I suppose.  

Finally, it’s the end of an era with the final season of Jessica Jones on June 14th. This will be the last we see of the Marvel Defenders characters on Netflix, and while the franchise had its ups and downs, Krysten Ritter’s Jones was always a standout. While the show’s second season suffered from a lack of David Tennent, here’s hoping the final season goes out with a bang. Also, geez, we really do a lot of superhero stuff these days, huh?

You can check out all of the Netflix titles available this month here.

Amazon:
Amazon tends to release the bulk of their new content at the end of the month, so rather than tell you about the June releases coming three weeks from now, here are the movies and shows that are newly available. 

Good Omens, a limited series adaptation of the Neil Gaiman and Terry Prachett novel, follows David Tennent as a demon and Michael Sheen as an angel who are best friends trying to stop the apocalypse. Like Gaiman and Pratchett, it’s funny, weird and just incredibly British.

Fleabag Season 2 is perfect for a night after the kids go to sleep. The sometimes sad but always hilarious series from Pheobe Waller-Bridge (Solo: A Star Wars Story) is a great date night binge watch that’s romantic but not sappy, snide but not cynical.

As far as movies go, you can’t do much better than Friday Night Lights. Even if you don’t care about football, it’s hard not to love this story of a Texas high school team. Sure, FNL went on to become an arguably even better TV show, but Billy Bob Thorton’s Coach Gains walked so Coach Taylor could run.

And finally, get ready for Quentin Tarantino’s new movie by going back to the beginning with the as-good-as-you-remember Reservoir Dogs.

Check out all of Amazon’s streaming for May and June here. 

Sarah Conner Is Back In First Terminator: Dark Fate Trailer

Terminator Dark Fate
(imdb.com)

Obligatory “he’s back” joke here, for like, what, the fifth time now? Nobody took T2‘s whole “No fate but what we make for ourselves” theme more to heart than the Terminator franchise itself, simply refusing to die. This morning the trailer dropped for Terminator: Dark Fate, featuring new robots, familiar faces, and a couple classic “Oh-no-my-face-got-ripped-off-but-it’s-chill-because-I’m-a-cyborg” moments.

So to recap, we’ve got Mackenzie Davis and Gabriel Luna as two new Terminator varieties doin’ the ole’ help/hunt dance with Natalia Reyes, who -per the way these movies work- is somehow the key to saving the future. Along for the ride are Linda Hamilton and Arnold Schwarzenegger returning with producer James Cameron to the franchise they started together 35 years ago.

The film takes place “the day after Judgement Day” but LA doesn’t look like the sea of human skulls we’re used to, so it’s a good bet the evil Skynet has been lying in wait. Or maybe Skynet is out of the picture, but a new cyber threat rose to decimate humanity, like BitCoin or Facebook.

Terminator: Dark Fate has wisely chosen to disregard everything since 1991’s Terminator 2: Judgement Day, the gold standard of 90s action adventure. Look, not to shit on Jurassic Park or The Matrix, but T2 was the action movie of action movies. Personally, I begged my parents to rent it probably six Friday movie nights in a row, and they didn’t even argue until the fourth week.

But since then, the franchise has made some missteps. Terminator 3 was…fine. Terminator: Salvation is remembered more for proving Christian Bale was kind of an asshole (still love you CB, just maybe stick to one body weight for a while; you need to level out). Terminator: GynYsYssY or whatever they called the last one tried to reboot the franchise while also not rebooting it because time travel is weird like that. All of them featured The Arnold, but all of them fell flat. So what makes this latest stab at the franchise more promising? One minor little detail:

 

Sarah Conner wearing sunglasses and a kevlar vest stares menacingly at the camera.
(imdb.com)

The Queen is back, baby.

Linda Hamilton has returned as Sarah Conner, the role she originated in the 1984 sci-fi horror masterpiece that launched this whole thing. Her turn from waitress-in-distress in the first film to supreme badass in the second made Conner one of the most iconic characters of all time. We haven’t seen her since 1996’s Terminator 2: 3D – Battle Across Time, the Universal Studios attraction that taught 12-year-old me what excessive gunfire smelled like; but while Arnold may be the titular cyborg, the heart of Terminator has always been Hamilton.

Getting these two back together is the hail mary this series needs. Dark Fate may be The Terminator‘s last chance to cash in on the reboot craze, but with Hamilton’s Sarah back in the action, and Deadpool‘s Tim Miller in the director’s chair, odds are in its favor. James Cameron took time away from making 36 Avatar movies to produce this one in order to ensure it was “relevant” to the times. It’s got the pedigree. Can it deliver? That’s up to fate.

Terminator: Dark Fate opens November 1st.

If you don’t want to wait that long, Reader, then permit a humble recommendation. Go pick up the Blue-ray of FOX’s Sarah Conner Chronicles. That show was awesome, completely underrated, and Lena Headey (Game of Thrones) was a great Sarah Conner. Hamilton’s untouchable, but that show was the best Terminator content since T2. Unless you count the Terminator: Future Shock video game, which I do, but I’ve been told that I’m a nerd.

Confirmed: Game of Thrones Dudes Are Making The Next Star Wars

Walt Disney big boss Bob Iger has confirmed what many already suspected – that once Game of Thrones wraps up next week, the series co-creators David Benioff and D.B. Weiss will be heading to a galaxy far far away.

GOTWAR
(Dorkly)

While we’ve known for a while that Benioff and Weiss were helming a cinematic entry in the Star Wars franchise, today it was confirmed that they’ll be the next at-bat. Their movie is scheduled after an upcoming 3-year hiatus for the films following this year’s Episode IX: Rise of Skywalker.

“The conclusion that we reached was that three years was the proper amount of time to not only take a breather and reset, but to really gear up for the next film’s release.” – Bob Iger

There are three Star Wars films currently on Disney’s film slate for the next several years, and today’s announcement only confirms that the first one will be from the Game of Thrones team. The question remains if we’ll be seeing an entire trilogy or series from this team in one go, or if Disney plans to feature other sides of the galaxy in between each entry. There is, after all, a whole other trilogy in the works from Episode VIII director Rian Johnson.

I know some readers will want to scream into the sky at the mere mention of Rian Johnson, so I’ll hold here to let you get it out of your system. Others, feel free to crack open a cold beer. I’m havin’ one.

via GIPHY

Everyone back? No, people are still yelling? Okay, that’s cool, no biggie.

via GIPHY

Alright, let’s move forward.

It is safe to assume that any Star Wars movies penned by the guys who had Sansa Stark feed her rapist to his own dogs will be probably a bit darker than what we’re used to from the franchise. It would make sense to break those up a little, and I’d wager Rian Johnson’s trilogy will be a little more innocent.

What’s exciting overall, is we still don’t know anything about the stories these upcoming movies will tell. After this December, the Skywalker Saga will have come to a close, opening the entire galaxy for new characters and adventures. Who knows, some may not even be “a long time ago” anymore.

While there are infinite storytelling possibilities, don’t be surprised if the Old Gods of Star Wars – namely, merchandising- demand some familiar faces show up at some point. Rebels‘ Grand Admiral Thrawn and Ezra Bridger in the Outer Rim, perhaps? A crossover where Tyrion Lannister and The Onion Knight join the Jedi Order? That may sound ridiculous, but Avengers: Endgame had a Pegasus, so I think we’re past the point of “grounded” pop culture, don’t you?

Regardless of what stories Weiss and Benioff want to tell, it sounds like they’ve been looking forward to making the jump to the stars for a long time already.

“In the summer of 1977 we traveled to a galaxy far, far away, and we’ve been dreaming of it ever since…We are honored by the opportunity, a little terrified by the responsibility, and so excited to get started as soon as the final season of Game of Thrones is complete.”

In the meantime, Star Wars Episode IX opens December 20th of this year, and the series finale of Game of Thrones is this upcoming Sunday on HBO.

A Young Dad Pops His Neck…And Gives Himself A Stroke?!

WhatTheHealth_NeckPop
(ABC News)

File this one under Holy Mother Forking Shirtballs.

Who doesn’t love popping their neck? That feeling of released tension coupled with the satisfying cracking noise eliciting either a high five or an, “Ew gross” from the wife is one of life’s simple pleasures.

Welp, I’m gonna ruin it for ya.

According to ABC News, Josh Hader, a 28 year old Dad from Guthrie Oklahoma, had a sore neck the other day, as dads often do. But when he stretched it out and popped it, the left side of his body went suddenly numb.

“The moment I heard the pop, everything on my left side started to go numb,” says Hader. “I got up and tried to get an ice pack from the fridge, and I remember I couldn’t walk straight.”

It turns out, Josh HAD A FREAKIN’ STROKE. Fortunately his Father-In-Law was on hand to rush him to the hospital where Dr. Vance McCollom diagnosed Josh with a tear to his vertebral artery. Cracking his neck bisected the artery, causing a clot at the base of his brain and preventing blood-flow. Let’s look at a scary-ass medical diagram thing to see what he’s talking about:

Vertebral Arteries
(Geeky Medics)

Yikes. But as rough as this sounds, it could have been much worse. Had more clots formed at the base of his brain, this simple stretch that we all enjoy could have killed the young dad. Instead, Josh is now thankfully recovering and in good spirits. While he’s still a little wobbly on his feat, he only had to deal with a few days of vision impairment – and oddly, hiccups.

He told CNN: “Those were terrible. Literally two weeks of straight hiccups since the stroke happened. Towards the end, they would make it almost impossible for me to breathe for a few seconds, and that was scary.”

Cool, so everything is a nightmare. According to Dr. McCollom, the hiccups happened because the stroke occurred near the base of Josh’s brain. Which is where hiccups come from? I don’t know. Personally, I like to think about my insides as, like, a spaceship with tiny little versions of myself running around and manning the controls, because that’s what Calvin and Hobbes taught me.

Calvin Strange Dreams
(QuotesGram)

Now, there is a takeaway from all this, or else we wouldn’t be sharing this story. While this isn’t a common accident, but McCollom said it’s not the first time he’s seen it happen either, so we all need to play it a little safe with our neck cracking from now on. According to McCollom, there is a right and a wrong way to pop your neck.

“If you want to pop your neck, just kind of pop it side to side, don’t twist it. Whenever you twist it, there’s a risk of tearing that vessel.”


So everyone stop pushing for that last satisfying pop! Thanks, doc! I’ll probably also be investing in some Batman-level restraining neck gear as well.

via GIPHY

While this is all extremely rough, there is one really inspiring part of the story. After everything he’s been through, the biggest challenge Josh says he faced has been not being able to help his wife take care of their youngest son. A dad, through and through, Josh’s first concern is for his family.

The universe throws us curveballs all the time, and some of them can be life-changing; but as long as dads stay committed to the best job in the world (and don’t twist their neck to hard) they can get through anything. We’re rooting for Josh, and are excited for his road to recovery!

Sonic The Hedgehog Trailer Finally Proves We Are In The Darkest Timeline

SonicFeature2
(youtube.com)

Sonic the Hedgehog is being made into a movie and this is the movie that they have decided to make. And that is fine because there is actually nothing anyone of us can do about it.

Now, I’m not here to dunk on anything. I’m not about that hater life. There is every chance this could be a really fun adventure featuring a beloved character from my childhood, whom I have just realized is essentially a streaker.

….Oh god, what have we done?

Nope! No negativity! We haven’t seen this movie yet, and there’s too much trash talk on the internet to get all judgy about something that isn’t even out yet. So, you won’t find me saying anything mean about this film from now on.  I will, however, suggest a theory that this entire project was conceived, written (possibly by an advanced computer program), filmed and edited all in the span of time since the first Detective Pikachu trailer dropped; because this is obviously going for a vibe.

Something that 90s kids should be excited for is Jim Carrey, playing 90s-era Jim Carrey, playing Dr. Robotnik (and yes, it is Robotnik, you can get outta here with that “Eggman” nonsense, don’t @ me). It looks like the Dr. Robotnik of this story is an evil scientist from Earth, assigned by XO Tigh from Battlestar Galactica to hunt down Sonic. However, the final shot of Carrey shows a more traditional Robotnik, goggles and all, in what looks like the Sega Genesis Universe version of Fury Road.


Robotnik
(Imdb.com)

So! Either Robotnik is transported into Sonic’s world and goes totally crazy over the course of the movie, OR Robotnik is from the Sega Universe, and has snuck into our world for some reason or another, I don’t know, I only played the first one, guys.

Another undeniable plus is Ben Swartz as the voice of Sonic. This was the only possible choice for this role.

Sonic, after collecting all the rings: 

Also along for the ride is James Marsden, because James Marsden is up for anything and we should all strive to have his attitude in life.

Now, I’m gonna call something right here and now: Despite no evidence of this, it is almost guaranteed that there will be an MCU style post-credits scene that teases Tails. It’s just how these movies do things now. As for why Sonic is a fan of the Dangerous Minds soundtrack, or what the golden rings do in this universe, or literally any of the thousands of questions you may have from watching this trailer, we’ll just have to see.

Sonic The Hedgehog power slides its way into theaters November 8.

The Dad Approved “Food Cubby” Gives Kids One Less Thing To Complain About

Food Cubby
(foodcubby.com)

Ah, kids. They sure can be little jerks sometimes, huh? Oh, we love them, they are the light and joy of our lives, and we’d do anything for them, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But they flip out if a pea gets, like a little mashed potato on it (as if they were gonna eat the peas in the first place). Lots of kids hate when food touches other food. Sure, they’ll play in the mud, and laugh about a loogie, but apparently applesauce coming into contact with ham is actually the most disgusting thing in the universe.

Now, it’s not their fault; it’s all because something about sensory development or underexposed taste buds or something or another, who cares, it doesn’t matter, they’re picky eaters and it’s annoying. But if we’re being perfectly honest, it’s not just kids. Personally, if a pickle touches any of my french fries, we’ve got a problem.

Fortunately, there’s a simple solution.

Okay, that video takes itself like one shade too seriously, but the Food Cubby is an awesomely simple solution to keeping rogue foods in their place.

As an added bonus, giving plates a wall that helps scoop up that last bite of mac and cheese is *chef’s kiss.* I’ve chased stray noodles around a plate like one of those dogs who gets lost in the middle of the dog show, so don’t even get me started on a kid’s dexterity.

The Food Cubby is made from food grade silicone, so it’s all good when it comes to cleaning and not poisoning anyone; and while I was skeptical of the suction power at first, it really does work as advertised. It scores pretty high on Amazon reviews, too, so it wasn’t just me.

For a simple solution to one of parenting’s most obnoxious challenges, the Food Cubby is #TheDadApproved.

Pick up a pack at FoodCubby.com, or on Amazon.

The Joker Trailer Will Put A Smile On Your Face

Joker3
(Youtube)

Me: “The Joker doesn’t need an origin story, he’s much more interesting without one.”

Warner Bros:


Me:

via GIPHY

Todd Phillips and Joaquin Phoenix have created what looks like a suitably bananas period piece about expecting your life to go one way, only for it to go totally batshit on you instead. (See what I did there?) If you think about it, this movie is the perfect fit for Todd Phillips, whose Hangover trilogy was essentially the story of three psychopaths, but with jokes.

The new Joker movie supposedly stands alone from the rest of the DCU films, and this is definitely not the Joker we met in Suicide Squad. Nothing against Jared Leto…okay, that’s not true, I actually have several personal vendettas against Jared Leto, but regardless, this new take on the Clown Prince of Crime looks a lot more grounded. After all, who hasn’t had a day go so badly that the only thing we can do is laugh?

And laugh this Joker does. About halfway through the trailer, amidst the glimpses of Arkham State Hospital (pre asylum?), a possible young Bruce Wayne, and general 1970s era grit and grime, Phoenix lets out his creepy version of the Joker laugh, and y’all.

Y’all.

Yah boy’s gonna crush it. Now, there’s no playing favorites here:  Heath Ledger is a legend for this role, Jack Nicholson was awesome, and Mark Hamill’s cartoon cackle is a classic…but there is just something about this Joker’s laugh. It, along with Phoenix’s fully-Jokerized costume brings to mind Caesar Romero from the campy 60s Batman…but a more terrifying, yet unsettlingly relatable one.

Considering the complicated psychology, a lot of comparisons have been made between this movie and Taxi Driver, but the gritty stand up club and De Niro’s late night talk show host character bring to mind another Scorsese classic, The King of Comedy.  It may not seem necessary to tell a Joker origin story if you consider the character merely an anti-Batman. I mean, they are both clearly insane people. But there’s something interesting about seeing the Joker and Bruce share a history of pain and grief, but for one of them to rise above it while the other uses it to justify their descent. Sure to be a laugh.

Joker hits theaters on October 4th…just in time for Halloween.

via GIPHY

New GoT & Avengers Trailers Remind Us That Everything Cool Is Ending

(HBO/Marvel)

This year “April showers” might refer to the many somber, yet very strong and dignified tears that will be shed this month as two of the most universally beloved franchises of the last decade come to an end. Spring is about renewal and rebirth, but first we gotta watch Captain America and John Snow probably sacrifice themselves heroically because joy is reserved for children.

Previously we’ve shared the full length trailers for Game of Thrones’ final season, and Avengers: Endgame, but today we have newly released promos for each that feature new scenes and images of our heroes getting ready to probably all die and make us all very sad.

(SPOILER ALERT AHEAD)

Update: Today another mysterious tease appeared on GoT’s Twitter account:


Of course we don’t really know any of that for certain.

George R Martin, we can probably assume, has just stopped writing the books at this point (wtf, dude), so his reportedly dark original vision to end A Song of Ice and Fire could be amended. Maybe time has softened showrunners David Benioff and Dan Weiss like a dads who used to hate country music, but now appreciate anything that isn’t a cartoon musical. Still, I wouldn’t count on it or hope for everyone living happily ever after in Westeros.  Game of Thrones and the novels it is based on have always been known for subverting expectations and harshly defying the generally accepted rules of a fantasy adventure. So for all we know one of the dragons is gonna end up sitting on the sword chair.

When it comes to Avengers, though, it’s tough to say. On one hand, these guys have had a good run, and all good things must end. On the other hand, please don’t make me watch Captain America freakin’ die. Honestly. Ugh. I don’t want to watch, but I can’t look away.

Will Tony Stark trade his life for Spider-Man’s in the Quantum Realm? We know from the Spider-Man: Far From Home trailer that Peter and Nick Fury are getting un-Thanosed by the end of Endgame, but AT WHAT COST?  Ugh, Maybe Endgame won’t go full dark, and all this operatic trailer music is a fake out? I enjoy mature storytelling, but it’s weird that at this point I’m expecting Phil and Elizabeth from The Americans to join the freakin’ Avengers, you know? It is nice to see Cap and Tony hanging out again, gotta say. Thanks for that, Russo Bros.

Regardless of what happens, GoT and the MCU have done a stellar job of pleasing fans over the last ten years – something that’s only gotten harder to do lately. So congratulations to everyone involved in these monumental franchises, and I’ll see you all sometime in May when I’ve recovered. Fortunately, endings lead to new beginnings and we’ll have new GoT prequel content soon, as well as the next phase of MCU movies to look forward to.

Game of Thrones premieres April 14th on HBO, and tickets are on sale now for Avengers: Endgame, which opens April 26.

These Grown-Up Legos Are A Great Way To Absolutely Dunk On Your Kid

Everblock
(Getty/sturti)

Batman teaches us that you either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. What could be more true of our most cherished childhood toy, Legos? When we were kids, they were the best way to spend an afternoon, but as we became dads, they turned into tiny booby traps left around the house to torture us for having the gall to go barefoot.

Not to mention, they’ve gotten way too reliant on licensed properties like Harry Potter and Star Wars, too. When I was a kid, I made up my own spaceships, thank you very much.

But now there’s a grown up version of everyone’s favorite construction bricks called EverBlock, and it’s pretty sweet.

EverBlock wants to give the fun of creative building and questionable structural integrity back to grown ups, and that’s great because some of the stuff my kid has tried to impress me with is kinda crap tbh.

Per the company:

“Like the toys of our childhood, which enabled us to express ourselves and realize our vision in physical products, EverBlock was conceived to allow designers, decorators, and inventors everywhere to economically build their dream objects.”

Translation: Cool, like, square roofless house, buddy, but I’m going for a backyard castle or submarine.

We even have an idea for the next time we step on one of our kid’s legos….

The Cask of Amontillado' by Edgar Allan Poe
And I mean STAY in your room! (Getty)

Kidding! Just kidding!!  Besides, these things aren’t sound-proof, and what’s a tell-tale heart compared to a seven year old belting Baby Shark full volume?

Now the price tag on EverBlock is not a joke. A basic wall kit can run close to thousand bucks, and even the least Ron Swanson-y dad knows that’s a big chunk of cheddar to build a wall. But that’s also missing the point of EverBlock. If you just need to a divider for two kids to share one room before turning it into a “study” when they move out in 10 years, this is not the way to go. But the project has been praised for being great in disaster relief efforts, military and police training, and showing up your neighbors in the backyard fort game.

So if you’ve got a tax return burning a hole in your pocket and want reusable, long-term creative project that is a more fun than having your kids hold your tools while you curse under your breath, this could be a great investment!

Amazing High School Kids Put On “Alien” For School Play

High School Alien
(North Bergen High School)

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I had to sleep my way through every vanilla-ass 1940s musical like Meet Me In Saint Louis that you can think of, but dads in New Jersey get to go see their kids do freaking Alien?! Yes, that’s right, the Ridley Scott, H.R. Giger 1979 nightmare factory Alien. As a school play. Unbelievable.

The show looks to be filled with homemade costumes and special effects that showcase even the movie’s most gruesome (and awesome) moments, like Kane getting face-huggered, and then later…well, we all know what happens to Kane. Drama club teacher Perfecto Cuervo and Art teacher Steve Defindini have told NJ.com that the students built all the sets and costumes themselves using recycled materials they found around the school. The titular Xenomorph costume, in particular, is amazing, considering these kids had essentially no budget.


Tickets for this show went for about five bucks a pop. Meanwhile, tickets to the Harry Potter play are like three thousand dollars just to stand in the lobby and try to catch glimpses of the stage when the ushers go in and out. Kids are the coolest. They even put together a sleek little trailer to get the word out, and look, all I’m saying is that this whole thing has EGOT potential.


The show only ran two nights, but already the high school is getting calls to add more performances.  Cuervo said he’s not sure they have the budget to extend the run, but hopefully as more people catch wind, an avenue to send some money their way will open up. Considering they made this on a budget of zero dollars, it’d be great to see what they could do with some crowd sourcing behind them; Could a bunch of high schoolers redo Prometheus to actually be good?

Regardless of what happens, this was an amazing display of ingenuity, creativity and teamwork from the North Bergen High School students and faculty. Simply put, there is not a high five high enough to give these kids.

Stranger Things 3 Trailer: Being A Teenager Sucks With/Without Monsters

StrangerThingsCover
(YouTube)

It’s tough being a teen, no doubt about it.

Hormones, first jobs, mind-flaying monsters from another universe, homework. It’s no wonder kids can be so moody.

The full trailer for Stranger Things Season 3 has dropped, and boy howdy do those Hawkins kids not know how to stay out of inter-dimensional trouble. From this new trailer we can see that Eleven, Mike, Lucas, Dustin and Will are spending their 1985 summer coping with some feelings we saw begin to develop at the end of last season that anyone familiar with high schoolers will recognize. Primarily: Angst. Deep, unrelenting angst. But the Upside Down isn’t done with our heroes just yet, and they’ll have to band together to save the universe during the #BestSummerEver

Max is still a part of the gang, sharing slumber party dance parties with Eleven, because no evil force in the universe can stand against the unbridled emotion of a teenager’s slumber party, while her jerk brother seems to have gotten the ultimate jerk brother summer job as a lifeguard. (Editor’s Note: The Dad doesn’t believe life guards are jerks. It’s just a thing in movies and shows for some reason.)

The highlight of the trailer is world’s greatest honorary dad Steve Harrington sword fighting and fist bumping with Dustin at his mall job. Steve gets an eye roll from his coworker, but how dare you judge a man for showing his adoptive son affection, lady?

This season is set during 1985, meaning Back To The Future is a strong contender for a pop cultural touchstone, the way Ghostbusters was in season 2. The Duffer brothers have also commented that Chevy Chase’s classic P.I. farce, Fletch played a heavy role in influencing this season. Could that suggest a lighter tone in Hawkins this time around?

Whatever happens, the shot of the kids putting up a radio tower to the beat of an 80’s Baba O’Riley, plus the season’s tagline make it abundantly clear this season is a summer vacation adventure. We can’t wait for July 4th.