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Kyle Schuman

DIY Bunk Beds Project – Conserve Space in the Kids’ Bedroom and Give Them More Room for Clutter

DIY How To Build A Bunkbed

As a dad, sometimes we just have the urge as DIY masters (or not) to build something on our own. Woodworking is in our DNA, after all. (Not necessarily professional level woodworking, but at least the basics.) Woodworking is better than time spent playing on your computer, after all.

For your next project, maybe you’re looking to create something truly useful. You tried the traditional spice rack, but since everyone in your house is always to too tired to cook after work, the spices just sit and collect dust. (The only time the spice rack gets used is when you season the steaks and show off your mad grilling skills.)

Then there was the treehouse that the kids were so excited about using … until they got bored with it. (At least the squirrels found a good home.)

But now you’re looking for a truly practical project; something that will receive daily use. Consider DIY bunk beds. Not only will kids love bunk beds when sharing a room, but it gives them far more free space on the floor of the bedroom to spread clothes and toys. There’s nothing a kid loves more than making a mess. And there’s nothing you love more than navigating the minefield of crap on the bedroom floor in the middle of the night when the kid is crying for a glass of water. (F***ing LEGOs on bare feet are the work of the devil.)

Building homemade bunk beds will give you some serious dad cred, allowing you to slack off a bit and not have to try so hard in a few other areas. For example, successfully complete DIY bunk beds, and you can dial down the intensity of the bedtime stories. (Trust us, no one wants to see your full musical production of Hop on Pop at bedtime or hear you rap The Gruffalo, unless you can at least match the skills of MC Grammar.)

DIY How To Build A Bunkbed Best Bunkbed Ideas

How to Build a DIY Bunk Bed

1-Do the Planning

Our instructions for DIY bunk beds will be pretty simple in nature. However, you can create all kinds of accents and far more detailed designs if desired. You can find many different instruction sets regarding bunk bed plans for sale online to spark your creativity.

Measure the height of the ceiling in the kids’ bedroom. You have to give the kid in the top bunk plenty of room to sit up when the alarm goes off without causing a concussion every morning. Don’t forget to add in the thickness of the mattress to your calculations. (And if the kids are still afraid of heights, maybe go down another foot.)

If you’d rather watch someone build homemade bunk beds versus simply reading about it, Jay’s Custom Creations has a very helpful DIY bunk beds video, as well as matching detailed plans for DIY bunk beds that you can buy.

2-Collect the Materials

For homemade bunk beds, you can save some money by using standard pinewood 2-by-2s, 2-by-4s and 2-by-6s. You will want a drill with a screwdriver bit, wood glue, sander, and a circular hand saw or a table saw.

And for the love of God, measure the doorway. If you want to build the DIY bunk beds outdoors, make sure they’ll fit through the front door and the bedroom doorway. Otherwise, if they’re going to be too large, build them inside the room. (Cut the pieces outside, though, unless you want sawdust to embed itself in the carpeting and still be there well after the kids grow up and go to college and you convert the space into the exercise room that you’ve always wanted but never plan to actually use.)

DIY How To Build A Bunkbed Best Bunkbed Ideas

3-Build the Box

For the box that will hold the mattress, you will want to use 2-by-6s or 2-by-4s, depending on the thickness of the mattress. (The mattress thickness should extend at least a few inches over the top of the box.)

Figure out what sizes of mattresses you want to use on the bunk beds and cut the boards to fit.

  • Twin: 39×75 inches
  • Twin XL: 39×80 inches
  • Full: 54×75 inches
  • Full XL: 54×80 inches

Build the interior of the box so that you have 1 to 2 inches of free space all around the mattress. This allows for space for blankets to hang over the edge of the mattress when the kids will make the bunk beds. (Stop snickering.)

Remember that each piece of lumber has 1.5 inches of width (not 2 inches). For a twin mattress, make the long sides 77 to 79 inches in length and the short sides 38 to 40 inches in width, so the short side attaches to the inside of the long sides.

Sand the pieces to remove rough spots, printing, marks, and sharp edges. Screw and glue or nail and glue them together. (Always use glue with the screws or brad nails. Kids are notoriously rough on bunk beds.)

4-Build the Base and Legs

For the base of the box, you can attach plywood to the bottom of each box, or you can use 2-by-2s, 2-by-4s, or 1-by-3s to create slats.

To make simple legs, you can attach 2-by-4s and 2-by-6s together in an L shape. These legs should extend roughly 12 to 18 inches over the top of where the upper box will sit.

Stand the legs in the room where you want them. Use 2-by-4s to connect them to each other (on the short side of the bed), creating ladder rungs on both sides.

Here’s where you need to do some math. If the bottom of the lower box will be 6 inches off the floor and the bottom of the upper box will be 54 inches off the floor, you’ll want the bottom of the rungs for the ladder at 22 and 38 inches. Add one more rung at the top of the legs for stability.

Then attach the boxes to the legs at the desired height. Use spare pieces of wood as braces on the inside of the legs cut to the proper length to help support the weight of the upper box as you’re attaching it. (If the upper box is 54 inches off the floor, use 54-inch braces inside the legs.) Follow the same procedure for the lower box. Having a second person for this part is helpful.

DIY How To Build A Bunkbed Best Bunkbed Ideas

5-Finishing Touches

Some people like to build guard rails on the upper bunk. This can be accomplished at the same height as the upper ladder rung for a consistent look. If the beds will be against the wall, just one side needs a rail.

Adding storage bins, drawers, or a rollaway bed underneath the lower bunk is another option. If you plan to do this, calculate the size of the storage you want before you start putting the beds together, and hang the lower box at the proper height to accommodate the storage, adjusting the height of the upper box and the ladder rungs accordingly.

We’d recommend painting the wood, although some people will choose to stain it if they’re using high-quality wood.

Kids will love picking fun colors for the DIY bunk beds, and they can even help with the painting outside. But if you’re going to let them help you paint the bunk beds when they’re already inside the room … don’t. Just don’t.

Best Products for Homemade Bunk Beds

DIY How To Build A Bunkbed Best Bunkbed Ideas Home Depot Lumber

2×4 x 8 Foot Lumber

No woodworking project can be successful without the right lumber. You may want to go with more expensive wood when you’re planning for how to build a bunk bed, especially if you want to stain it. Then again, there’s a 50/50 chance the kids will destroy it at some point, so maybe cheaper is better.

Buy for $4 Per Piece on Home Depot

DIY How To Build A Bunkbed Best Bunkbed Ideas Screws From Amazon

Flat Head Phillips Wood Screws

You can never have enough wood screws on hand for your woodworking projects.

But don’t settle for cheap screws for this project, or you’re going to strip the heads, leaving them stuck forever, not quite in as far as they should be, pissing you off to no end and leading to an impressive string of cuss words. (We understand that all dad projects should involve some form of swearing at some point during the process, but the project shouldn’t be 100% profanity, so buy decent screws.)

Buy for $14 on Amazon

DIY How To Build A Bunkbed Best Bunkbed Ideas Gorilla Glue

Gorilla Wood Glue

If you’re assembling your DIY bunk beds inside the kids’ room, always remember what my dad taught me about wood glue when I was a kid: A little goes a long way. (Of course, he told me this after I used half a bottle on one joint, leading to a huge mess on the floor that I had to clean up, but I did remember the advice, even if it was a little late. Dad was a big believer in learning by doing … and he always said learning was much easier after screwing something the f*** up the first time.)

Buy for $6 on Amazon

DIY How To Build A Bunkbed Best Bunkbed Ideas DeWalt Cordless Drill

DeWalt 20V MAX Cordless Drill Kit

If you don’t have a cordless drill, this homemade bunk beds project is the perfect excuse to buy one. (We would suggest that you ask for a high-quality drill for the best Father’s Day gift, but we all know how that usually goes. Sure, we appreciate receiving another #1 Dad coffee mug — it never hurts to advertise — but this drill would be better.)

With two rechargeable batteries included, you’ll always have a fresh battery available for your projects. The downside? No more excuses that you don’t have the right tools when you’re trying to spend Saturday afternoon napping instead of fixing things. Make sure you have both batteries fully charged at all times, just having them sitting on a shelf does nobody any good.

Buy for $99 on Amazon

DIY How To Build A Bunkbed Best Bunkbed Ideas DeWalt Nail Gun

DeWalt 20V MAX Brad Nailer

For this type of project, a brad nailer probably will be easier to handle than the drill and screws. However, if you expect the kids to use the bunk beds as some sort of launching point for practicing all-star wrestling moves, the screws should hold together better than these brad nails and glue, especially on the ladder rungs.

Hell, get both DeWalt power tools. They share the same battery system, and the kids are going to break many, many things over the next several years, so you can never have enough power tools on hand for repairs.

Buy for $233 on Amazon

DIY How To Build A Bunkbed Best Bunkbed Ideas DeWalt Table Saw

DeWalt Compact Jobsite Table Saw

We love this table saw, as it’s small enough to take with you wherever you need to work, but it’s also big and powerful enough to do almost any woodworking job you have in the plans.

It’s tough enough to stand up to regular use, should you decide to take on some tougher projects after finishing your current bunk bed plans. Take safety measures with this table saw, such as always using the safety guard. Power saws don’t give your fingers a second chance if you make a mistake.

Buy for $279 on Amazon

DIY How To Build A Bunkbed Best Bunkbed Ideas DeWalt Sander

DeWalt Orbit Sander

Sanding is key for how to build a bunk bed that’s safe to use. (Attaching all the pieces securely is key too, but you already knew that.)

Without sanding, you just know your accident-prone kid is going to find a way to end up with a splinter 24 seconds after climbing into the bed, which will lead to an hour of wailing about something so small you can’t even see it. And you’ll receive that look your wife saves for the times when she says things like, “Are you sure this wood is safe to use and it won’t give the kids splinters?” before you started the project. Sigh.

Buy for $59 on Amazon

DIY How To Build A Bunkbed Best Bunkbed Ideas Home Depot Bunkbed Kit

South Shore Ulysses Navy Blue Twin Bunk Bed

Maybe you have studied our plans for DIY bunk beds, and you have decided it’s too big of a project for you. No worries.

With this homemade bunk beds kit, you’ll receive everything you need to create bunk beds that look great without having to do all of the math, sawing, and sanding.

You still will have to do the assembly yourself. And sometimes, these assemble-yourself furniture projects can be almost as confusing as building the entire project. So you’ll have almost the same fun/frustration with the kit as when building it from scratch. (Kit or no kit, swearing is never optional.)

Buy for $440 on Home Depot

DIY How To Build A Bunkbed Best Bunkbed Ideas Amazon Bunkbed Kit

Dorel Living Airlie Wood Bunk Beds

Here’s another kit for DIY bunk beds that’s a little cheaper if you need to save some cash. This one has a twin bed on top and a full bed on the bottom, which means the kids will be sure to fight over who gets the bigger bed. Fun times.

Buy for $350 on Amazon

DIY How To Build A Bunkbed Best Bunkbed Ideas The Gruffalo Bedtime Book

The Gruffalo

Once the bunk bed plans are finished, you need a good bedtime story. This one is a lot of fun. (No rapping, please … although the pattern of the writing makes it awfully damn tempting.)

Buy for $11 on Amazon

Although we only recommend picks we really love, we may earn a commission on purchases made through links from our site. There are safety regulations when it comes to bunk beds, please use caution and follow any government recommended height/safety rules.

(All finished bunk bed photos from Home Depot)

Best Electric Cars for Kids— Way Less Stressful Than Handing Over Your Keys

best electric cars for kids

As a dad, there are a few childhood milestones with which you’re expected to help. Teaching kids how to ride a bike, how to tie a tie (thank God for YouTube), how to build stuff around the house, and how to mow the lawn for the first time (so you don’t have to do it anymore).

But teaching the kid how to drive a car may be the biggest — and most dangerous — one. Few things are as exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. (When driving lessons start, you’ll find out why your old man started turning seriously gray about the same time you got your learner’s permit.)

If you’re someone who parks at least 5 spaces away from the nearest car at the grocery store to avoid the slightest possibility of a door ding, who washes the car religiously, and who is a stickler for banning all kids snacks from the car, perhaps the most terrifying aspect of teaching a kid to drive is that he or she might bump into something while learning to parallel park and leave a dent (we know, it will get much worse than that).

It may be in your best interest to start trying to teach the kid to drive while they are young. Forget about handing the kid the Mario Kart video game and letting technology do the teaching. The best electric cars for kids can do the trick instead. These kids motorized cars have seat belts and max out at between 2 and 5 mph, so they’re way safer than they may seem at first glance.

As an added bonus, since kids mimic almost everything their parents do, you’ll be able to see just how they think you look behind the wheel. Don’t be surprised if they give the mailbox the bird, sing-along (loudly and badly) with every song on the toddler electric car’s radio, and yell at the dolls in the back seat to stop bothering each other or they’ll be, “turning this car around right now.” (Funny stuff. The little smart asses may have a future as impressionist comedians.)

Best Electric Cars for Toddlers and Bigger Kids

Costzon Licensed Mercedes Benz 300SL Kids Car

We know, we know. Why should the kid drive a nicer car than you? But it happens sometimes. (Besides, the majority of kids have no idea what a Benz is.)

This kids motorized car has working headlights, an MP3 music player, and a working horn. (We’re 100% certain this last feature will drive you and the neighbors crazy, but we’re also certain you can figure out how to disconnect the horn with Mr. Screwdriver and/or Mr. Hammer.)

This car is made for younger children, as it contains a parental remote control mode, just in case the kid isn’t ready to start driving yet. And it only has a 6-volt battery, so it won’t go as fast as some of the other electronic cars (max speed is only 1.86 mph).

We’re pretty sure no one has ever described a Benz as a starter car before, but this is definitely a starter toddler electric car.

Buy for $150 on Amazon

Rollplay Mini Cooper Kids Ride-on Car

This Mini Cooper may be the most appropriate model to include one on our list of the best electric cars for kids. After all, this one is almost equal to the full-size version. (We kid, we kid.)

Yes, the actual Mini is much smaller than standard full-size cars, but this Mini Cooper electric car for kids is roughly the same size as other power wheels for 5-year-olds, so any kid can drive it.

It has a smaller 6-volt battery than some other kids electric cars, so it’s limited to a 2.5 mph top speed, which is nice for younger kids.

As an added feature, this Mini Cooper comes in three colors, has a windshield, and even has a cup holder. We’re not sure you want to start teaching kids to drink coffee while behind the wheel just yet, but we’re not going to say you can’t.

Buy for $177 on Amazon

Best Choice Products Kids Ride-on Lamborghini

When it comes to the coolest electric cars for kids, it’s tough to beat this Lamborghini. The aggressive styling, the swing upward doors, and the awesome logo on the front of the car is as cool as it gets.

This kids-level Lamborghini contains fun LED lights, a working horn, an AUX jack to plug in a music source, and a 12-volt battery that delivers a 3.7 mph maximum speed. There are two-speed settings and a parental remote control if you’d prefer to dial back the speed.

Who knows? If you buy the kid a ride-on Lamborghini, maybe your wife will agree that you need a matching full-size model. (It could happen. You also could suddenly become a star NFL quarterback. Never give up on your dreams.)

Buy for $260 on Amazon

Power Wheels Disney Pixar Toy Story Jeep Wrangler Kids Ride-on Car

You can’t create a list of “the best kids” anything without adding some sort of Disney product. (Of course, since Disney owns approximately 47% of the world, finding such products isn’t exactly a difficult endeavor.)

This Toy Story jeep has plenty of decals that will excite fans of the franchise. It has a bit more power than the other kids motorized cars on our list with a maximum speed of 5 mph from the 12-volt battery. There is a low-speed setting at 2.5 mph as well. There is a Jurassic Park version and also a Disney Princess option (duh).

We don’t believe that this Toy Story Jeep will come to life and have crazy adventures when people aren’t around, but we can’t fully deny that it won’t.

Buy for $249 on Amazon

Best Choice Products Electric Kids Car

If you don’t want to spoil the kids with a luxury brand name in your gift of an electric ride-on car, this one doesn’t have a hugely famous logo. (I mean, why get the kids hopes up now when they probably will be stuck with a used Kia hatchback as a first car that’s as old as they are when they turn 16?)

If the kids are too young to understand car brand names, all they’ll know is the sporty look of this kids motorized car is fun. It has LED headlights and accent lights.

Although it has a 12-volt battery and can reach faster top speed than the 6-volt electric cars for kids on our list, it does have two-speed settings, so you can set it to the low setting for younger kids.

Buy for $160 on Amazon

Best Choice Products Kids Ride-on Truck

If the thought of your uncoordinated preschooler behind the wheel of a toddler electric car terrifies you, we understand. After all, this is the kid who pours a bowl of Fruit Loops at the kitchen counter, adds milk, and spills enough of it on the way to the dining table to keep both of the family dogs busy cleaning up the trail of spills for 20 minutes.

With this electric truck for kids, you’ll have the option of parental remote control. It ships with a remote control unit that allows you to drive and steer the truck while the kid is just along for the ride. (It’s your first chance to be a helicopter-parent; don’t screw it up.)

When the kid is ready to drive, this 12-volt toddler electric car has a maximum speed of 2.8 mph.

Buy for $180 on Amazon

Peg Perego John Deere Ground Force Kids Ride-on Tractor

Yes, we know that this is not a car technically. But it’s still a lot of fun to drive. Kids (and many adults) love John Deere branded toys, and this tractor is a popular pick among toddler electric car enthusiasts. The tires will provide traction on all kinds of surfaces, including grass and pavement.

It has a 12-volt battery with two speeds available and a maximum speed of 4.5 mph. Its seat has flip-up armrests and a working FM radio for a little extra fun. It even goes in reverse (whoa).

Best of all, it ships with a trailer, so the kid can haul all kinds of stuff that you need moved for outdoor projects. Sure, the trailer can hold stuff for the kid to play with too, but it’s mostly for your needs. It’s a tractor after all, so it needs to be put to work, or how are you going to write it off as a working vehicle on your taxes (joking!)?

Buy for $280 on Amazon

Although we only recommend picks we really love, we may earn a commission on purchases made through links from our site.

Best Father’s Day Gifts for Every Type of Dad aka “Honey, Kids, This Is What I Want”

Father's Day Gift Guide For Every Type of Dad

We all know Father’s Day is the most important holiday of the year. Father’s Day is in the big leagues, right next to Christmas. Sure, there are other holidays like Thanksgiving and Mother’s Day, but those are career minor leaguers that barely hit above the Mendoza Line. (Don’t tell my wife I said that. Actually, go ahead. She doesn’t know what the Mendoza Line is.)

Unfortunately, there’s a chance that your family will let you down. For some reason, the kids and your wife may not consider Father’s Day to be the greatest of all holidays like they should. If this is your first Father’s Day, sorry, you’ll be learning the hard way– so new and naive (and excited). Yeah, we all remember that, too.

Sure, the family may start you off with breakfast in bed. After that, though? They’ll barely remember the special day. It’s probably back to being like any other Sunday with a honey-do DIY list, kids whining about anything and everything, and you being asked to pick up whatever the cat vomited today because you’re the only one who can do it apparently.

You at least deserve a kick-ass gift out of the deal. But chances are your wife has no idea what to get you (or she’ll be looking for payback after your sh*tty Mother’s Day gift that was totally the fault of the kids).

And the kids are worthless with gifts. They’ll ask for $50 and give you a homemade card and a $10 Starbucks gift card. Where the hell did the rest of it go? (And why are the kids so wired on caffeine?) Sigh. It almost makes you wish kids still gave their dads ties for Father’s Day.

You don’t have to take it anymore. Instead, we’ve put together a list of the best father’s day gifts for dads, depending on your areas of interest. So take our list, forward it to your wife and the kids (we promise to clean up the f***ing swears the rest of the way), and say, “This is what I want for Father’s Day.”

We’re not taking bets on whether you’ll actually receive it, but you at least gave it the old college try.

Best Father’s Day Gift for the Dad Who Needs a Cover-Up Scent

Dad’s Bathroom Candle

It doesn’t get more dad-essential than the morning constitutional. Unfortunately, your family almost certainly doesn’t agree, especially when they have to use the same bathroom a few minutes later to prepare for the day.

If your wife and kids have threatened to banish you from the house, suggesting you start taking your reading material to the gas station on the corner every morning, we have a better solution.

Burn one of our The Dad candles during and after you take care of your business, and the family will be able to enjoy the odor of classic dad scents rather than the other kind of dad scent that no one wants to smell.

These candles feature scents like cut grass, pancakes, and a cookout. It’s way better than the lavender-mango-strawberry-spruce-vanilla-rose candle combination your wife always wants to light. Blech.

Buy for $35 on The Dad Shop

Best Father’s Day Gift for the Dad Who’s Ready to Start Working Out (Again)

New Balance Men’s 680 V6 Running Shoe

We all have periods in our life where we look at ourselves in the mirror and we decide we’re ready to start working out. I personally have done this far too many times to count.

What I’ve found is that when I’m a little too heavy, a little too out of shape, and a little older than the last time I tried this, having the right pair of shoes is the key to working out successfully.

I’ve tried almost every brand (as I said, I’ve done this far too many times), and New Balance provides the most cushion and support, which is important when people start telling you, you’re way too heavy … even the ones who normally are too nice to say anything.

The 680 model is available in multiple colors and styles, and it’ll help with whatever kind of new workout you have planned. (The rest of your body will be in agony, but your feet won’t hurt at least.)

Buy for $60 on Amazon

Best Father’s Day Gift for the First Time Dad

The Dad Law Book

I have them, my dad had them, his dad had them … hell, cavemen dads had them: The Unwritten Rules of Being a Dad. These are things that all dads naturally must do, carrying over from generation to generation.

These laws govern things dads must say, how they must act, and which dad jokes must be told at which times.

It’s a lot to remember, especially if you’re a new dad. So if you’re ever a little unsure about what a certain situation calls for, our The Dad Law Book has you covered. Who are we to argue with thousands of years of dad evolution? (Now go see if someone has increased the setting on the thermostat.)

Buy for $22 on The Dad Shop

Best Father’s Day Gift for the Dad Who’s a Self-Proclaimed Geek

Superhero Vintage Tin Sign Bundle

There was a time where being a geek/nerd was frowned upon. The Alpha Betas were sure to torture all geeks, tricking them into humiliating themselves in front of the Pi Delta Pis. It was tough to be a geek.

These days, though, dads and kids can wear their geekdom as a badge of honor. Hell, Hollywood literally depends on geeks to fill their movie theaters now with Superhero movie after Superhero movie. (Take that, cool kids who made fun of our Superman jammies at the sleepover in 3rd grade.)

If your geeky side includes a love of comic books and superheroes, this set of six vintage tin 8-by-12-inch signs is the perfect Father’s Day gift. You’ll probably have to hang them on the wall of your man cave or the garage, rather than anywhere your wife’s friends can see them … unless your wife is a self-proclaimed geek, too. Then they may become your family’s preferred wall art.

Buy for $40 on Amazon

Best Father’s Day Gift for the Dad Who Needs a Daily Pick-Me-Up

Dad-ISMS 2020-2021 Father’s Day to Father’s Day Calendar

Sure, it’d be great if we could start each day with a pick-me-up like a Bloody Mary or two to get us going. But the boss frowns on having cocktails on our desk … not to mention the wife frowning on having cocktails on the breakfast table next to the Fruit Loops.

So we’ll have to settle for a mental pick-me-up. Fortunately, this hilarious day-by-day calendar has something on each page that’ll make the start of each day a little more fun. As fun as a Bloody Mary? Maybe not. But our calendar is guaranteed hangover-free.

Buy for $20 on The Dad Shop

Best Father’s Day Gift for the Outdoors-y Dad

Grundéns 30 Liter Rum Runner Backpack

One great way for dads to spend quality time with the family is out in nature. Whether that involves hiking, a trip to the lake, or a day at the park, it’s a smart way to have fun and spend time in the great outdoors.

For most of us, these trips involve dad carrying the majority of the kids’ gear in a backpack. (Which is probably only fair, since your wife’s purse fulfills that task the majority of the rest of the time.)

What ends up happening is dad hurriedly grabs whichever of the kids’ backpacks happens to not be lost at the time the family is rushing out the door to leave for the park. If so, it’s time to give dad his own backpack. (That means we no longer have to carry a Hello Kitty backpack on the hiking trail. There is a god after all.)

This Grundéns backpack is waterproof with RF welded seams, so it can stand up to the roughest conditions while keeping your gear safe and dry. It’s suitable for almost any outdoor activity with a great camouflage pattern. (Let’s see Hello Kitty pull that look off.)

Buy for $105 on Amazon

Best Father’s Day Gift for the Dad Who Forgets Anniversaries, Birthdays, and the Rest

The Perfect Pack Greeting Cards

Raise your hand if you have forgotten an important date for a family member or friend, like birthday, anniversary, etc? Now how many of you have done this in the past three days? (Putting my hands down now, as it’s impossible to type with two hands in the air.)

Our pack of 12 greeting cards has you covered. Each one has multiple options on it, so you can match it to the proper occasion. Just check the appropriate box for birthday, anniversary, etc, and you’re covered.

For those who know you and your forgetfulness, the checked boxes on the cards will be hilarious. And you can pretend you did it on purpose as a joke, rather than forgetting again and using our cards as a last-minute solution. Win-win.

Buy for $24 on The Dad Shop

Best Father’s Day Gift for the Adventurous Foodie Dad (or One Who Thinks He Is)

Kumana Avocado Hot Sauce

Some dads say they love trying new foods, and the crazier, the better. (Sure, he eats the exact same thing for breakfast and lunch everyday, and he orders the same thing every time he goes to a restaurant, but it’s fun to let him think he’s a foodie.)

One way to spice up those regular meals is with this three-pack of Kumana hot sauces. These plant-based hot sauces primarily consist of avacado, which, when paired with jalapenos, give them a kick well beyond the regular salsa.

Ultimately, you can put this on almost anything, and it’ll taste great. And since it’s green and spicy, we’re guessing the kids will be too scared to try it. Dad will feel pretty special when he has his own personal hot sauce/salsa. All dads should have at least one thing they don’t have to share with the kids.

Buy for $28 on Amazon

Best Father’s Day Gift for the Dad Who Loves His Old Music

Audio Technica Stereo Turntable System

Some dads have fully embraced the digital music scene, complete with subscriptions to Amazon Music, Spotify, and Apple Music. (Does he need all of them? Probably not. But you try explaining that to him.)

Other dads scoff at binary music. The digital versions of their favorite songs simply can’t compare to original vinyl, they’ll say. (Music snobs, all the way.)

If your dad has a collection of vinyl records that have been gathering dust for a while, give him a place to play them with this Audio Technica starter turntable. It has a lightweight tonearm that will prevent damage to the vinyl.

Now, this isn’t made for the dad who has a vintage stereo system already set up and in use, but it’s made for those looking to get started (or re-started) listening to vinyl at a reasonable price.

Who knows? Dad may start hitting up every garage sale in town this summer, seeking out vintage copies of his favorite vinyl records from years ago. Fair warning: You may unleash a monster with this gift.

Either way, it’ll give dad the opportunity to say, “Music was better in my day,” and then allow him to play a record to show you what he’s talking about. (Yay. No one can get enough of dad’s dinosaur music.)

Buy for $99 on Amazon

Best Father’s Day Gift for the Techie Dad

Wyze WiFi Smart Plug Outlet

If your dad has embraced the world of the smart home, you may already have a smart personal assistant that you can ask crazy questions where you don’t expect an honest answer. (Hey, Alexa, are you planning to take over the world and enslave humanity by secretly listening to all of our conversations?)

You may even have a few other smart appliances, like a video doorbell to capture videos of idiots doing something stupid. (Unless they’re related to you; then they’re doing hilarious things.)

If dad doesn’t yet have any smart plugs, though, he’s missing one of the most useful smart appliances. Attach the smart plug to any standard outlet, and whatever you plug into it will then become controllable through your WiFi network.

Dad can turn on a lamp from anywhere with a smart plug. Or he can piss off the dog by turning the TV on and off repeatedly with the app. The sky’s the limit for practicality and practical jokes with a smart plug.

Buy for $38 on Amazon

Best Father’s Day Gift for the Sports Car Lover (Who Will Never Be Able to Afford One)

LEGO Technic Porsche 911 Building Set

Whether it’s for a mid-life crisis or not, some dads have a goal of owning an ungodly expensive sports car. Not a bad goal. Sports cars are fast. They look amazing. They’re fast. You get the idea.

Chances are dad is not actively saving for this sports car, though. It’s one of those pipe dream goals that keeps getting pushed to the back burner after spending money on the college fund for the kids, a pure bred dog for the kids, braces for the kids’ teeth, and braces for the dog’s teeth. (Veterinarians and orthodontists have quite the racket.)

So unless dad is going to hit the lottery — and we feel pretty confident in saying he won’t — the closest he’s ever going to get to that sports car is this highly complex LEGO set. This set is incredible, containing almost 1,600 pieces, including a realistically detailed engine. It’s not the same as actually owning and driving a Porsche, but it’ll probably be as close as he’ll get. (You don’t have to tell him that and crush his dreams … until the next time he really pisses you off.)

Buy for $160 on Amazon

Best Father’s Day Gift for the Dad Who Likes to Laugh at Himself

The Dad Book: Truths, Hacks, And Dad-ISMS

Don’t let non-dads know, but sometimes we dads take ourselves a little too seriously. I know, hard to believe. (My wife actually made fun of me with my tape measure in the yard the other day, ensuring the mower deck was precisely cutting the grass at 2-1/2 inches. True story.)

As I later was making micro-adjustments to the mower deck, though, I thought she may have had a point. (I didn’t tell her of course; she doesn’t need the encouragement.)

So for me, and all dads who occasionally take themselves a little too seriously, our The Dad Book is a good reminder to poke fun at ourselves with jokes, dad-isms, and some parenting hacks.

Buy for $15 on The Dad Shop

Best Father’s Day Gift for the Dad Who Loves/Hates Dad Jokes

Dad Joke and Pun T-Shirt

Dad Joke and Pun T-Shirts

Dad jokes can be a source of incredible confusion.

Some dads say they love dad jokes, yet they primarily use them when they have a chance to embarrass their kids. Some dads say they hate dad jokes, yet they’ll tell one when they’re especially looking to torture their kids. And some dads say they’re indifferent to dad jokes, yet they’re always willing to toss one out to embarrass and torture their kids.

You can see why this creates such a conundrum.

If your dad has any interest in dad jokes, these t-shirts are sure to be right up his alley. And if he wears it any time he’s out with the kids, it’s sure to generate multiple eye rolls, facepalms, and heavy sighs from them. #missionaccomplished

Buy for $24 on The Dad Shop

Although we only recommend picks we really love, we may earn a commission on purchases made through links from our site.

How to Build a DIY Fire Pit for Grilling, Socializing, Destroying Evidence, Etc.

When you seem to have a bit of free time on your hands — which, unfortunately, is more the norm these days — we’re guessing your significant other has a list of things for you to do. (You must spend your free time productively, after all.) Some people call it the honey-do list. We call it something else that starts with an F followed by numerous asterisks.

The worst part is, once you think you’ve finished the list, you are told you’re only through Volume 1. You’re never told just how many volumes there are, but, then again, you probably don’t want to know. It’s too depressing.

But with our years of wisdom in these matters, we have come up with an idea. When she starts to pull out the list, act as if you’ve suddenly had a brilliant idea. Tell her you noticed on one of her HGTV shows how great a house looks when it has a backyard DIY fire pit. (Don’t try to give too many specifics about the show, or you’ll be busted for sure.)

Then announce that you’ll be taking on some DIY projects by building a family fire pit in the yard— then head out the back door. The f***ing honey-do list goes back in its secret hiding place, and you’ll be working on a cool project. #win-win

If she starts to object, remind her how many fun times you can have with a fire pit, such as a backyard family camping trip … making s’mores with the kids … romantically cuddling on a cool autumn night while “enjoying” a wine tasting … destroying evidence before that IRS audit starts (did we say that?). So many possibilities.

When building a fire pit, it can be done within several hours, once you have the materials. But if you want to make sure it drags out for several days or weeks, we won’t judge.

How to Build a Backyard Fire Pit

1-Check Your Regulations

Before starting, it’s possible that your local regulations or homeowner’s association have some rules about constructing fire pits. You will want to check these rules before starting, or you may have to tear down the fire pit later.

For a those who prefer to watch someone build the fire pit, instead of just reading about it, Home Depot’s fire pit building video is a good place to start.

2-Find a Spot

The ideal DIY fire pit will measure three to four feet in diameter (from outer edge to outer edge). You don’t want it to be too close to any dead leaves, trees with low hanging branches, or other combustible materials. And, no matter how ugly your neighbor’s new wood fence is, don’t place your fire pit too close to it with the hope that a stray ember happens to land on it. We hope it goes without saying that it can’t be too close to your fence either— or to your house, shed, garage, or other structure.

Pick a relatively flat piece of ground. You don’t need to go so far as to test the spot with a level, but the flatter the area, the better.

Some people choose to build it over an existing brick patio, which greatly simplifies the construction process (and eliminates a couple of the following steps, of course).

3-Decide on Shape and Color

When building a fire pit, the two easiest shapes will be a circle or a square. Rectangular blocks work to make the square shape, while trapezoidal blocks work for a circular pit.

Then purchase the blocks you need for the pit. Don’t worry too much about exact measurements, as you can use spacer blocks to make up the difference if the measurement of the primary blocks come up a bit short. (You may have to cut some of the spacer blocks.)

This is also a good time to discuss color. There are a lot of choices. Find a picture of a fire pit that’s wife-approved and go with that color. There are grays, tans, reds and a whole bunch of other ones.

4-Prepare the Ground

The total diameter should be 45 inches. Use spray paint to mark it so there are no giant mistakes later.

Now you need an actual pit. Dig the pit shape about 6 inches deep. You should dig the hole several inches wider than you are planning for the measurement of the pit.

Pack the hole with gravel. Pick a fine type of gravel that will pack tightly into the hole. Use a hand tamper to pack it. Dampen the gravel a few times as you’re in the process of tamping it down to ensure you will compact it as tightly as possible.

(This is a step you should skip if putting the fire pit on an existing patio. We can’t emphasize this enough: Do not take a jackhammer to your patio.)

5-Lay Out the Blocks

Place the first layer of blocks on the ground. If you’re making a square pit, start at the corners with large blocks. As you move along the edges, you may need to add spacer blocks occasionally. (If you want to be fancy, add the spacers in a regular manner, so it looks symmetrical.)

For a circular DIY fire pit, the math gets a little tricky. (In other words, we don’t want to do it here and show off what we’ve forgotten from sixth grade.) As you lay out the trapezoidal blocks, you’ll need spacers (smaller blocks) to achieve the overall curve.

You will want to use a level here. Make sure the first layer is level. Add leveling sand underneath the blocks in the first layer as needed to straighten things out.

6-Create the Wall

Once the first layer is level, you can start adding the second layer. If you used spacer blocks, stagger their location in the second layer, so the spacers are not sitting on top of each other. Additionally, don’t allow the seams between layers of blocks to line up.

It’s recommended to use a construction adhesive to adhere the layers together. This is the safest idea, reducing the chance of the layers collapsing if your kid crashes his or her bike into the DIY fire pit. Before you stack the second layer, use a good bead of adhesive atop the first layer, and then add the next layer of stones. Just as importantly, make sure the layers are level.

If you’re building the fire pit over an existing patio, you should adhere the first layer to the patio.

Ultimately, you’ll end up with a wall that’s three to five layers high (or 16 to 32 inches).

For easier cleaning, you may want to place a fire pit bowl inside the walls that hold the fire (especially if you’re on top of a patio surface). But you also can start the fires directly on top of the gravel inside the walls if it’s directly on the dirt.

Best Products for a DIY Fire Pit

Trapezoidal Concrete Retaining Wall Block

These trapezoidal blocks work nicely when you want a circular fire pit. Each measures 4 inches high and 11.75 inches on the long side. And, yes, each one is heavier than sh*t.

Buy 10 for $14 on Home Depot

Rectangular Concrete Block

If you want an easier math problem in calculating the size when figuring out how to build a fire pit, stick with rectangular blocks and a square fire pit. Each of these rectangular blocks measures 3.5 inches in height and 10.5 inches in length.

Buy 10 for $39 on Home Depot

Loctite PL 500 Landscape Block Adhesive

This adhesive is perfect for building a fire pit, as it’s made for use on masonry, metal, wood, and other materials. It’s also messy, so keep the kids the hell away. (A kid loves nothing more than a fully loaded caulking gun.)

Buy for $6 on Amazon

Crushed Granite Rock Fines

Because crushed rock like this is expensive, you can use this material in the upper one-third of the DIY fire pit and pea gravel in the lower two-thirds to save a bit of money.

Buy for $30 on Home Depot

Pea Gravel

If you will be using a fire pit bowl in your construction, you could save some money by using this pea gravel in the entirety of the base of the fire pit.

Buy for $10 on Amazon

Sakrete Leveling Sand

Sure, you could borrow some sand from the kids’ sandbox to level out the first layer of your DIY fire pit. But, first, it’s not official leveling sand, so it won’t work as well. And, second, do you really want the petrified cat sh*t that always seems to be in the sandbox underneath your fire pit?

Buy for $5 on Home Depot

Razor-Back Steel Tamper

Repeat after us: The tamper is only made for use on compacted dirt or gravel. It is not made to squish the dog sh*t in the yard instead of picking it up with a scooper. Trust us: Squishing the sh*t into the ground does not make it disappear.

Buy for $30 on Amazon

Irwin 48-Inch Level

When you’re wondering why you need a level when building a fire pit, you can use it to keep the layers of the fire pit properly aligned. Plus, using a level — a big one — makes it look like you know what the hell you’re doing on any construction project.

Buy for $31 on Amazon

Sunnydaze Metal Fire Pit Insert

If you are going to want to use an insert in your DIY fire pit, you have to make sure the dimensions of the inner edge of the pit blocks match the size of the insert you want to use, so the lip of the insert rests on the blocks.

Buy for $135 on Amazon

X-Marks Steel Fire Pit Cooking Grill

To do some actual grilling after building a fire pit, rather than jamming your food on a stick, you’ll need a steel grate.

Buy for $93 on Amazon

RumbleStone Square Concrete Fire Pit Kit

Maybe you originally wanted to know how to build a fire pit from scratch. Now, though, you’re not so sure. Can you calculate exactly what you will even need to build one?

This kit looks great, measuring 38.5 inches on all four sides with 21 inches of height. You will pay a little extra for this unit versus a DIY fire pit where you assemble the parts yourself, but having all of the parts ready-made for you in a kit may be worth it.

Buy for $620 on Home Depot

RumbleStone Round Concrete Fire Pit Kit

For building a fire pit that’s round, having a kit may be the way to go. Calculating the exact amount of items you need on your own can be a challenge.

You will pay more for this kit than for the individual pieces. However, you may save almost as much on gas for the car from not having to make extra trips to the hardware store to pick up items you forgot.

This DIY fire pit measures 46 inches in diameter and 14 inches in height.

Buy for $549 on Home Depot

Although we only recommend picks we really love, we may earn a commission on purchases made through links from our site.

(All fire pit photos from Home Depot)

How to Install Laminate Flooring…and Look Like a DIY Genius While You Do It

how to lay laminate flooring main image

When it’s time to install flooring at your home, we’re guessing your wife may have an idea or two (or 20). She will want something that looks great, has plenty of durability, is water-resistant, and is easy to clean.

As a dad who will be doing this as a DIY project, you also will want a type of flooring that fills all those needs … while being easy to install. When the floor looks great and is easy to install, you’re going to be one of those dads who looks like a genius with a minimal amount of work. (This is information you should keep to yourself; geniuses never show how the sauce is made, even if they mix metaphors occasionally.)

Laminate floats above the subfloor, as it does not need glue or mortar-like other types of flooring. Laminate is available in planks and tiles that snap together. It’s not as easy as helping your 2-year-old assemble a 12-piece jigsaw puzzle, but it’s close. A laminate floor typically looks like hardwood (or occasionally stone), so it will create a stylish finish.

As an added bonus, laminate is not expensive, at least compared to hardwood or slate flooring.

When you’re wondering how to install laminate flooring, it will depend on the style of laminate you select. Laminate floors typically are pretty easy to install, but some models are even easier than others. (Again, keep this information to yourself.)

Installing laminate floor isn’t as cool of a DIY project as making a smoke breathing Godzilla Christmas tree or making a virtual Splash Mountain ride, but we’re sure your kids will forgive you this time … especially after your wife tells them to because she really wants her damn new floors.

How to Install Laminate Flooring

1-Pick the Flooring You Want

Beyond picking the faux wood or faux stone style that you want in your laminate, you will need to select the format you want to use.

Snap-together planks are common. They have dimensions like real wood planks, so they’re easy to handle.

Even easier are laminate tiles. These are square-shaped, connecting through a hidden tab and loop system on the bottom. Because of the shape, they don’t look quite as realistic as planks, but they’re so f***ing easy to install, you may not care.

If you’d like to see how easy the laminate planks are to install, check out this how to install laminate flooring video from Home Depot. Or if you’re more interested in the square tile style, check out a how to install laminate floor video from Greatmats.

2-Measure the Area

Now for the sh*tty step. There will be math. Apologies.

Measure the space that you need to cover, length, and width. Multiply the two, and you’ll have the square footage. Any laminate plank or tile product you’re considering should tell you how many square feet it will cover per case.

Always purchase 10% to 15% more square footage than you have measured. We’re not saying you’re going to mis-cut a piece or six, but it never hurts to have a little extra on hand, just in case.

3-Prepare the Area

When wondering how to lay laminate flooring correctly, you should remove all the baseboards and quarter round molding (trim) in the room. Do this carefully, as you will likely reuse most of the pieces.

To work around door jambs and molding at the doorways, you may want to cut the door molding with a jamb saw at the same height as the laminate. Then the laminate can slide underneath, rather than trying to cut the laminate to fit around the door molding’s odd shape.

If there is carpet in the room, it will have to come up, along with any glue or tack boards or staples. (Just a heads up: This often is a giant pain in the ass. Why the person who installed your carpeting decided to use 17 gallons of glue to hold it down will always be a mystery, but you get to suffer because of it.)

Once you’re down to the cement or hardwood floor, look for holes or other damage. You may need a patching compound. The subfloor doesn’t have to be perfectly level, but you don’t want major flaws in it. Sweep the subfloor to remove as many stray particles as possible.

Then place the cases of laminate in the room for at least 24 hours. This allows them to adjust to the humidity and temperature of the room. (And if it’s that room in your house that your wife is always complaining is too cold, you may want to wait 48 hours.)

4-Install Underlayment

Some laminate has an underlayment attached to the backside, which serves as a vapor barrier. Tiles may have a plastic base that lifts the laminate off the subfloor, allowing airflow underneath in an environment with quite a bit of moisture.

Otherwise, you can purchase your own roll of underlayment to place down before installing the laminate floor on top.

Don’t glue down the underlayment. It can just lay on the subfloor or you can use a little bit of vinyl tape. (The next person who tears up this floor will give you silent thanks that you did not use glue.)

5-Cut the First and Last Rows

OK, more math. Sorry.

You don’t want a full-width plank or tile along the first wall, only to end up needing a plank an inch wide on the final wall. So figure out how many rows of planks you’ll need by dividing the total width of the room by the width of the planks or tiles. (Just a heads up, the manufacturers of these planks nearly always give them non-standard widths that are tough to calculate, like 7-2/3 inches or 8-1/16 inches. Sigh.)

Figure out how to split the difference between the first and last rows, so the planks look normal. For example, let’s say the room is 98 inches wide, and the planks are 8 inches wide. You can make 11 full-width rows in the middle of the room for 88 inches. That leaves 10 inches remaining for the first and last rows. Split the difference, and cut the planks for the first and last rows at 5 inches wide. (Dear laminate flooring manufacturers: See how much easier the math is without fractions?)

Use a circular hand saw or a table saw to cut the planks. You can cut some tiles with a sharp utility knife.

6-Install the Floor

Finally, it’s time to install the floor. Place the first row along the wall, popping the tiles or planks together as per the instructions for your particular model.

Leave a gap of 1/4 to 3/8 inches between the edge of the floor and the wall, so the laminate has space to expand with changes in heat and humidity. (You can purchase spacers to help with this process.) Now, if you live in an older home, chances are roughly 0% that the wall will be straight. So do your best to leave some sort of tiny gap between the floor and wall for expansion.

When you reach the end of the room, you’ll almost certainly have to cut one of the planks or tiles length-wise. Take the piece that you cut off from the first row and use it to start the second row. (Always start each row along the same wall.)

Continue working across the room, popping the tiles in place. Take care that the seams on the vertical ends of the planks (the short end) do not line up closely from row to row. The vertical seams should be staggered so they’re at least 6 inches apart. You may have to cut the first plank in the row a second time to stagger the seams.

Replace the baseboard and the quarter round molding you removed earlier. (If you broke it earlier, it was probably time to buy some new pieces anyway.)

Best Products for How to Lay Laminate Flooring

TrafficMASTER Laminate Flooring

This style of laminate plank costs about 89 cents per square foot of coverage, so it’s extremely affordable. It also has multiple faux wood stain colors available. (And hand-scraped means looks worn in, vintage, in a good way. We know you’re asking that right now, but trust us, she likes this.)

It’s easy to install and looks great, but it does not give you an attached underlayment.

Buy for $22 per case on Home Depot

Greatmats Max Tile Laminate Flooring

You’ll be able to pick from a few different stain colors with Max Tile, and it delivers a highly durable surface that will stand up to kids and pets.

These laminate tiles are ideal in a basement that often has moisture seepage, as the tiles raise slightly away from the floor, allowing air to flow underneath them. You won’t need an underlayment.

Buy for $187 per case on Amazon

Floorlot 3 mm Laminate Flooring Underlayment

This roll of laminate flooring underlayment gives you a good value, as it also serves as a vapor barrier. This roll is 200 sq ft, so you’ll likely need multiple rolls.

Fair warning: If you have little kids in the house, they may want you to stop after putting down the underlayment, saying they love the pretty blue floor.

Buy for $40 on Amazon

Rust-Oleum Concrete Repair Products

Don’t let a severe crack or hole in the floor ruin your laminate flooring installation. Patch any holes, give this about 8 hours to dry, and you’ll be ready to begin laying out the floor.

Hopefully, you won’t fix the subfloor so perfectly that you no longer want to install the laminate.

Buy for $23 on Amazon

DeWalt 10-Inch Table Saw

It may be overkill to purchase a table saw just to trim enough laminate for one room, but if you have a few other home improvement jobs that can make use of this table saw, it’ll give you a good level of performance. Plus, having a table saw in your collection of power tools is just damn cool.

Buy for $277 on Amazon

DeWalt 6.5-Inch Cordless Circular Saw

It’s not a table saw, but it still works well for cutting your laminate flooring planks. It’s smaller and easier to maneuver (and store) if this is the only DIY you’re going to get to this year. Wear safety goggles, as it will kick up a lot of dust and shards.

Buy for $68 on Amazon

WORX Pegasus Multi-Function Portable Work Table

Every dad can use a sturdy work table when laying laminate flooring or for other projects. This WORX table makes it easy to clamp the pieces securely as you’re cutting them. And it folds down to a small size for storage, which your wife will love … until the next honey-do list project is ready to start.

Buy for $132 on Amazon

Workpro Folding Utility Knife

With extremely thin laminate planks or tiles, you can use the utility knife and a straight edge to create a precise cut. And because it’s a folding knife, it’s a lot safer to have around the house. You just know the kids are going to try to grab it.

Buy for $10 on Amazon

Komelon 25-Foot Power Tape

To figure out how to install laminate flooring correctly, you will need to do math, and you will need to take measurements. Ugh. Maybe your 8-year-old could help you with some new math.

Buy for $10 on Amazon

Unilin Laminate Flooring Installation Kit

Sure, you could just eyeball the expansion gap you should have with your install laminate floor project. Or you could purchase this installation kit with its wall spacers and tapping tool and do it correctly. Your choice, but it does make the project a little bit easier.

Buy for $22 on Home Depot

Although we only recommend picks we really love, we may earn a commission on purchases made through links from our site.

(All finished flooring photos from Home Depot)

Mother’s Day Gifts Your Partner Will Actually Like (and Some For Your Mom too)

Mother's Day Gift Ideas
(Scary Mommy/Winc)

Mother’s Day is here again (May 10 for those of you that need to set a cal-reminder). Sure, it’s only a warm-up to the glory of Father’s Day— almost a dry run for the kids, if you will, so they can perfect their Father’s Day plans— but we should still try to do something nice for mom.

We’ll pause a minute while reality smacks us upside the head like a 2-by-4.

If you screw up Mother’s Day gift-giving, you’re potentially in the doghouse until Christmas, unless you’re lucky enough to have an anniversary sometime in the next few months to redeem yourself. (And if you’re now wondering when your anniversary is, just skip forward to our Mother’s Day gift guide. You’re a dead man walking without our help.)

If your wife vacillates between wanting to have the kids with her on Mother’s Day and wanting to be given time to herself on Mother’s Day, you’re probably in one of those damned if you do, damned if you don’t situations.

To avoid this, we’d suggest going with a great Mother’s Day gift instead of trying to plan the perfect day. And, no, we’re not talking about a terrible Mother’s Day gift like a gift card. (You really like living in the doghouse, don’t you?)

Whether you need a last-minute Mother’s Day gift idea or you’re planning way ahead, we have you covered. These are Mother’s Day gift ideas that she’ll actually love receiving … meaning, for a change, she won’t just say that she loves it, while secretly wondering what the hell is wrong with you.

Best Mother’s Day Gift Ideas

Put Your Swears in Here Notebook

Sometimes, mama needs to release her frustration in written form, complete with F-bombs, S-bombs, Z-bombs, and all the rest. (Hey, don’t ask us how to spell them all. When moms get on a roll, they can string together some amazing profanity that would make your eternally pissed off high school football coach blush.)

This 128-page journal lets her write down her thoughts for the day with no judgment on how blue the language gets. Venting has never been healthier … for her as well as for the potential venting targets, like you, the kids, you, the dog, and you.

But there are also special pages for uplifting messages, fun milestones for the kids that she wants to remember, and maybe a note about something nice you did for her. Fingers crossed.

Buy for $18 on Amazon

Mom Themed Thank You Cards

If your wife or mom loves to send thank you cards to her friends and family, she may ask you to pick up some cards while you’re running other errands. And when you bring back the generic white cards with “THANK YOU” printed on the front in black, you get that look that she usually reserves for the dog when it sh*ts on the carpet. (Hell, even the dog is disappointed in you right now.)

Sigh. It’s not really our fault. For most guys, all thank you cards look the same.

But when you give her these thank you cards, you’ll have one of the best Mother’s Day gifts, and you’ll barely even know what you did. She’ll love these, as they have sweet, funny, and sentimental messages on them that her friends and family will appreciate (and actually read).

Should you actually do something that warrants a thank you card, tell her it’s OK to give you one of the generic ones and save these fun message cards for others. This thoughtful suggestion should earn you that proud look that she gives the dog when it does its business in the yard. #progress

Buy for $24 on Amazon

Waterproof Kindle Paperwhite E-reader

When moms need some time to themselves, many of them retreat to the bathtub with a glass of wine. (Or the whole bottle, depending on the results of the day.)

This makes sense. The bath is relaxing. The bathroom is relatively quiet. And the bathroom door has a lock on it to keep the kids the hell out.

If she would like to read while she’s relaxing in the tub, this is one of the best Mother’s Day gift ideas, last minute or not, that you can find. The Kindle lets her download any e-book she wants to read or any audiobook she wants to hear.

This is the latest version of the Kindle— it’s waterproof and has tons of storage. It’s a pretty damn cool tech gift for mothers.

So let the kids give her the lame bath bombs and body wash that smell like fruit. You get the credit for the gift of a Kindle all for yourself.

Buy for $180 on Amazon

Mom is out of service candle

Out of Service When Lit Candle

In an effort to show mom that we hear her (we do try sometimes!), let’s give her a good laugh with these witty candles, made by— who else? The expert moms at Scary Mommy. There are three to choose from including Out of Service When Lit,  Super Chill and Zen, and My Last F*ck (hey we didn’t write them). You can go a step further (it only takes a minute) and choose from some smart-ass sub-headers that describe the heavenly scent, such as Waves On A Kid-Free Beach Far, Far Away From Here. She and her mom tribe will appreciate the brutal honesty or at least like a nice, scented candle.

Buy for $35 on Scary Mommy

Winc Membership

If your wife already has a Kindle or if it’s out of your budget for a last-minute Mother’s Day gift, we have the next best thing to pair with the kids’ bath bombs and body wash: A relaxing glass of wine from a bottle that reappears on the reg.

The Winc subscription service will deliver four different types of wine to your home every month. There are multiple options, even including organic or low sugar wines. No longer will she have to make a special trip to the store between running 15 other errands with the kids to keep the wine flowing. You can cancel at any time, or you can even skip a month (we don’t suggest it).

Will four bottles of wine last the entire month? (Snicker.) Probably not, but it’s the thought that counts.

Buy for $39 on Winc

Herbivore Botanicals Beauty Gift Set

We’re going to take a wild guess here: You know little to nothing about how your wife keeps her skin toned and hydrated. (We know. We’re not exactly going out on a limb.)

But maybe you want to buy something that will make her amazed at how observant you are about these things. (It always helps to keep your significant other on her toes about what you do and don’t know; it keeps the relationship fresh.)

So we did the research for you. We spoke to friends in the industry. We did Internet searches that are going to have the ads we see based on our cookies screwed up royally for the next several weeks.

You’re welcome.

This Coco Rose gift set is safe to use on all types of skin, made with organic ingredients. And it’s from Credo, a really good beauty store that only sells good products. She’ll be impressed when she realizes these products didn’t break the bank and excited when she realizes they came with free samples.

Buy for $39 on Credo

Joanna Gaines for Anthropologie Throw Pillow

Even if you haven’t heard of Joanna Gaines, trust us, your wife or mother has. And if she has ever suggested that maybe a future vacation should be in the direction of Waco, Texas, we’re guaranteeing that she’s a huge fan of Joanna Gaines. After all, there’s no other reason to go Waco that we can think of. (Just a little joke, Baylor grads. Sic ’em Bears.)

Here’s all you need to know about Joanna Gaines. She and her family have a TV show that gives regular people beautiful new homes. She also has a highly popular store based in Waco. She has a brand and style that’s highlighted on TV, in magazines, and in probably a dozen other places we don’t understand. Her brand is all about simple home living through impressive decor. (Or so we’ve been told.)

And throw pillows. Lots and lots of throw pillows. You may not understand throw pillows and you may not understand Joanna Gaines— or the store Anthropologie for that matter — but your wife sure does.

Buy for $78 on Anthropologie

Nixplay Smart Digital Photo Frame

When you want the best Mother’s Day gift for grandma or your wife, a digital photo frame is a great idea, especially when it’s as easy to use as this Nixplay frame.

When you want to add a new shot to the rotation of photos displayed on the frame’s screen, you can send the photo to the frame straight from your phone. (You may have to help grandma connect the frame to her home WiFi network, but after that, it’s a pretty simple process.) Send multiple photos each day, and grandma will feel like she’s there with you.

Or if your wife’s desk at work is overwhelmed with photos of the kids, give her this photo frame, and she can have dozens of rotating photos all in one place, giving her a feeling of clutter-free organization. (She at least deserves to have one space that’s organized.)

Buy for $180 on Amazon

Custom Family Portrait Illustration

Nearly every mom we know loves family portraits.

Wait. Let’s clarify. Nearly every mom we know loves the idea of family portraits. However, when push comes to shove, trying to gather the entire family for a portrait is a nightmare.

The young kids are screaming or finding the only mud puddle in a 10-mile radius. The older kids are sulking about … well, everything. And we as dads are not helping. We can’t even dress ourselves; how are we supposed to keep the kids in line long enough for the photographer to snap a photo that makes everything look normal?

With this custom illustration, you just send the company photos of the family— as a group or, better yet, individually—  when everyone looks his or her best. Add some personal descriptions of each person, and the illustrator will create the perfect family portrait that a photographer has no shot of duplicating. You can even add family pets if you want.

Sorry, but we have to stop here. This Mother’s Day gift idea is bringing a tear to our eye. We’re not sure if we’re feeling sentimental, or if we’re just so f***ing happy to never have to go through the hell that is family portrait day ever again.

Buy for $76 on Amazon

Although we only recommend picks we really love, we may earn a commission on purchases made through links from our site.

10 Funny Grilling Aprons to Whet Their Appetite for Your Dad Jokes

funny grilling aprons main image

In certain households — mine included — grilling time is sacred time. I’m in charge around the grill, and everyone admires and respects my incredulous ability to sear meat in just the proper manner with mouth-watering results.

Of course, the reality is that the kids are running around screaming that they’re starving, someone always has an opinion on what you should be doing with the food, and everyone seems to go deaf the second you ask to have a beer brought to you. Typical dad BBQ moments.

You may as well ditch the illusion of those perfect BBQ dreams and have some fun with it. Get (and give) a good laugh by poking fun at yourself in one of these really funny aprons for men. Some of these inappropriate aprons are NSFW (not safe for work you, you know..)—or for kids for that matter, but they’re still pretty damn funny for the right crowd.

You may be grilling at home these days with only yours truly (we don’t know who you’ve been stuck with for #quarantine2020), but eventually, the neighbors will start reappearing with booze in hand. When that does happen, we will all be needing a very good laugh.

Now, is it right that your family and friends have said laugh at your expense? You, the aforementioned grill-master? Especially when those same people are about to eat the food you’re cooking? I’ll leave that up to your discretion. Just remember: Revenge can come in many forms, including in burgers “seasoned” with ghost pepper. (Seasoned meaning doused in this case.)

Best Cooking Aprons for Men

funny grilling aprons for men: trophy husband

ApronMen Trophy Husband Grilling Apron

We all know the true reason our wives want us to grill … because we look sexy as hell. We can’t wash laundry, do the dishes, or dress ourselves in the morning correctly, but we know how to look good doing this. We might as well be honest about why she keeps us around with a funny apron for men that designates us as her trophy husband.

Buy for $23 on Amazon

funny grilling aprons: this shit is going to be delicious

Miracu This S*** Is Going to Be Delicious Grilling Apron

There’s a saying in the business world that you should under-promise and over deliver when making a presentation or proposal to a client. In other words, don’t make unrealistic promises about how well you can do a job, leaving your client underwhelmed when the process is over.

F*** that.

When it’s grilling time, you’re in your element. You’re in charge. With this inappropriate apron, you are promising a delicious BBQ meal, and you can be confident you will deliver.

If you want to try wearing this apron the next time you have to give a presentation to a client, we won’t stop you. Just understand it may not work as well in a boardroom as it does around the grill.

Buy for $20 on Amazon

funny grilling aprons for men: grill sergeant

ApronMen Grill Sergeant Grilling Apron

You know we had to throw a dad joke into any list of cooking aprons for men. (Personally, I feel like an angel kicks a puppy every time I hear a bad pun/dad joke. But I get it. Some people like them.)

This funny grilling apron takes the dad joke to the extreme, even using sergeant stripes and camouflage.

Honestly, every dad has a little bit of a drill sergeant in him, having to order children around the house. So this apron is extremely appropriate. (But never use it to order the wife around. We like to avoid sleeping on the couch.)

Buy for $23 on Amazon

funny grilling aprons for men: I'll feed all you fuckers

Famgem I’ll Feed All You F****** Grilling Apron

We all love grilling, but it’s also hard work. Standing over a hot grill, having to down multiple cold beers to offset the heat, just to keep our body temperature relatively normal.

No one wants to hear about our woes, though. They just want the food now, bitching and moaning the entire time.

Since we dads are known for holding in our tempers and remaining calm in all situations, we just have to smile and be polite while grilling, not being able to tell them what we really think.

That’s where this cooking apron for men enters the picture. Rather than continually having to answer the question — “When is it going to be ready?” — just keep your mouth shut and point to the front of this inappropriate apron. (Less talking leaves more time for cooling your body temperature with beer, by the way.)

Buy for $26 on Amazon

funny grilling aprons for men

Saukore That Ain’t Burnt, That’s Flavor Grilling Apron

My dad loved to grill, and he was great at it … most of the time. Once in a while, he’d get busy on a different project and forget to check the grill until it was a little too late.

There was no calling for pizza on these nights, though. The grilling results always ended up on the table, whether they were perfectly cooked, still actively on fire, or anything in between.

So this funny grilling apron speaks to me, as my dad used almost this exact phraseology if any of us little smart-asses dared to question the overdone grilling results. (He used significantly more colorful language than this apron does, but the sentiment is the same and still gets the point across.)

Buy for $18 on Amazon

funny grilling aprons for men

ApronMen Your Opinion Wasn’t in the Recipe Grilling Apron

At any barbecue where you are in charge of grilling, there always seems to be one pain in the ass who needs to inject an opinion into every move you make.

Since the law (at least for now) frowns on you smacking this backseat griller in the back of the head with a bag of briquettes, try showing him this funny apron for men instead.

And if Mr. Opinion still doesn’t get the hint, pretend that you don’t have enough charcoal or propane to finish the job and send him home to get some … across town … in your car with the gas tank on E. If he doesn’t make it back, so much the better. If he does make it back, he’ll at least have put some gas in your car.

Buy for $23 on Amazon

Funny grilling aprons for men: Breaking Bad Los Pollos Hermanos

Loco Aprons Los Pollos Hermanos Grilling Apron

Breaking Bad involved a cook (of sorts) and a delicious restaurant (of sorts) called Los Pollos Hermanos. So fans of the show will love wearing this fun apron. (Sure, Los Pollos Hermanos was just a front for a huge meth operation, but those details don’t have to affect your enjoyment of this apron. The cook on your grill is completely legal, after all … even if you’re using secret sauce and ingredients that you wouldn’t reveal to anyone, including the cops.)

And for those who’ve never seen Breaking Bad, just tell them that, during a trip to Mexico, you were given this cooking apron for men by the master of a secret grilling society that has been active for centuries, and it gives you special grilling powers. If they’ve had enough beers, they might even buy it.

Buy for $15 on Amazon

funny grilling aprons for men: i like big butts

Nomsum I Like Big Butts Grilling Apron

What’s better than having dad grill some amazing burgers and steaks? Having dad do some freestyle rap while he’s grilling amazing burgers and steaks.

This funny grilling apron is sure to inspire dad to lay down some bars. (We feel very confident that one of the lines will include, “I’m here to say,” at some point.)

Do you think Sir Mix-A-Lot realized what he was unleashing on the world when he released Baby Got Back? Us either. Even if you’re a terrible rapper, you can still enjoy this funny cooking apron for men. Hey, and if your intention was to sleep on the couch tonight, #you’re welcome.

Buy for $18 on Amazon

funny grilling aprons for men

ApronMen Meat Is Murder … Tasty, Tasty Murder Grilling Apron

Sometimes, you’ll have someone at your barbecue who wants you to place some vegetables on the grill next to the meat. We understand that’s sacrilege for some grill masters. We’re not totally opposed to it on occasion, as long as everyone realizes the star of the show is the meat.

But if you run into someone at your barbecue who has a strong opinion that the grill should contain only vegetables, then this is one of those inappropriate aprons that simply must be worn.

Hey, it’s OK to appreciate animals and still think a pork chop or chicken breast tastes amazing on the grill. Humans have managed to balance the two ideas for centuries. This funny apron for men just helps to ensure the tradition continues.

Buy for $23 on Amazon

funny grilling aprons for men

Panoware I Grill and I Know Things Grilling Apron

Game of Thrones fans will appreciate the humor behind this funny grilling apron, as it twists one of the most well-known quotes from show character Tyrion Lannister. (Come to think of it, no twist was needed: “I drink and I know things” would’ve fit appropriately on cooking aprons for men for grilling time.)

If people who are not fans of GoT see the apron, they might just think you have super dad powers. (This is never a bad thing to make your kids think you have, by the way. The more they think you’re watching them, the less s*** they’ll screw up.)

Buy for $25 on Amazon

Although we only recommend picks we really love, we may earn a commission on purchases made through links from our site.

5 Safe Grill Brushes That Keep Bristles out of Your Burgers

My wife loves watching weird medical diagnosis shows. Whenever they show the family grilling in the first 15 seconds, the medical mystery is almost always going to involve someone in the family unknowingly eating a burger with a stray metal grill brush bristle in it.

This is actually a thing and a cause for alarm for dads who grill. If you end up with a metal bristle in your throat or intestine, it’s no joke. So enough with using a metal-bristled barbecue brush! Instead use a safe grill brush, such as a non-wire grill brush.

This doesn’t mean you should stop grilling burgers and juicy steaks. Far from it. As a dad, you need to grill. Grilling is in your DNA. We’re all counting on you. Just clean the grill with a wire-free grill brush, and your mouth-watering barbecue will be safe and delicious. Plus— Father’s Day is coming up, you’re going to need a gift. Put in your request early.

Best Safe Grill Brushes

best safe grill brushes: grillart

Grillart 18-Inch Grill Brush

If you just can’t break the bristle brush habit, this Grillart model has a form that’s similar to the traditional brush, but this is a safe grill brush.

It doesn’t use bristles, relying on stainless steel pads. It gives you the scrubbing power of multiple stainless steel pads at the end of a foot-plus-long handle. (Trust us. A stainless steel scrubbing pad works well to clean a hot grill, but you don’t want to be holding it by hand.)

It also has a scraper at the end, meaning you can remove that disgusting melted cheese mess that your wife insisted that you try on the grill. With the scraper, no one has to know about your grilling mishap.

Buy for $20 on Amazon

best safe grill brush

KitchenReady Stainless Steel Safe Grill Brush

If the Grillart brush is a little too big for your grill, you have two options. First, consider buying a much bigger grill. You know you deserve it.

Or save some money and stick with the smaller KitchenReady safe grill brush. This is the best bristle free grill brush for smaller grills, as it has a smaller scraping surface and fewer stainless steel pads.

It still has that long handle to keep your hands away from the heat, which is handy when you start to put the burgers on the hot grill, only to realize you forgot to clean it from last time. You can safely use this non-wire grill brush while the briquettes are burning hot.

This will save you the annoyance of your wife asking if you remembered to clean the grill halfway through cooking the burgers … and you having to lie to her. With this brush on hand, you can have the grill cleaned ahead of time and actually tell her the truth. (This time.)

Buy for $20 on Amazon

best safe grill brush: wooden grill brush

FEROS Safer Scraper Wood Grill Cleaner

Maybe you prefer a wood pellet grill, giving you that unique flavor and that smooth, even heat. Maybe you have become so addicted to wood fire grilling that you snicker under your breath when someone else fires up a tank of propane. (Some people might say you have become a boorish grilling snob, but I would never do that.)

With your love for wood pellet grilling, you need a wood cleaning tool like this one made of bamboo, which is sustainable.

The cleaner has grooves on the end to clean the edges of the individual bars on the grill rack. It’ll also scrape the top. And it’s thin enough to fit between the bars on the rack. Your grill will never have been so clean. (Just don’t show your wife, or you may be given a few other things to clean.)

Buy for $18 on Amazon

best safe grill brushes: scraper

Best Music BBQ Bristle Free Grill Grate Cleaner

If you dislike having a cleaning tool that you only can use on your grill, this grate cleaner works in other areas around the kitchen, including that non-stick skillet your wife loves. (Don’t try using the metal scraper for your grill to clean the non-stick skillet in your kitchen, or you’ll be sleeping on the couch for a few days.)

As a bristle free and safe grill brush, this nylon pad works for your barbecue grill, your iron skillets, metal griddles, or enamel-coated skillets. The handle on top allows you to apply extra pressure for those tough spots.

You even can toss the whole unit into the dishwasher between grill cleanings.

As the nylon pad wears out, you’ll have another one at hand, as each order has 10 pads.

Buy for $25 on Amazon (Pack of 10)

best safe grill brushes: bristle free grill brush (grill cleaning brick)

Avant Grub Pumice Stone Grill Cleaning Brick

Maybe none of the tools we’ve mentioned so far are manly enough for your grilling needs. We get it.

How about a huge black brick of pumice stone to clean the grill? That should up the manly factor when grilling. (Yeah, we know your wife uses pumice stones on her feet as a beauty product, but just put that out of your mind.)

Each brick measures 8 by 4 inches with 3.5 inches of depth, and you receive four per order. It may not have the same look as a non-wire grill brush, but it’s extremely effective for cleaning up grilling gunk. It also doesn’t absorb any of the gunk, so it remains ready to use each time without the need for washing. (A huge plus.)

Buy for $32 on Amazon (Pack of 4)

Bristle Free Alternates to Clean a Grill

bristle free grill brushes alternatives: aluminum foil

While you’re waiting for your new safe grill brush to arrive, there are a few other ways to clean a grill that go outside of conventional thinking. We cannot guarantee they’ll all work perfectly, but we can guarantee none of them will leave a stray metal bristle behind.

Aluminum Foil

Take a wad of aluminum foil and use your grilling tongs to rub it across the surface of the grill (you’re making your own scrubber here).

Aluminum foil is a great tool for grilling, as you can create a little grill pan with it, throwing vegetables inside tossed with a little oil, and grill them alongside your steak. (And if you believe forcing meat to share space on the grill with vegetables is a sin against the gods of BBQ, at least the veggies are wrapped inside aluminum foil, so you won’t have to look at them.)

Buy for $4 on Amazon

Onion

Cut an onion in half. Grill half of the onions in an aluminum foil tent to eat, and use the other half to clean the grill when you’re finished. Just rub it back and forth on the grill bars to clean them. And if it doesn’t work, what have you lost? Half an onion? No one will miss it.

Scouring Pad

The sponge/scouring pad combination that you probably have stored under your kitchen sink will work nicely on a disgusting grill surface. Just don’t expect to be able to put it back under the kitchen sink after you’ve finished. Gross. But it does work on the grill when nothing else is available.

Buy for $7 on Amazon (Pack of 9)

Although we only recommend picks we really love, we may earn a commission on purchases made through links from our site.

Exercise Video Games are a Legit Solution to Fitness Amid a Pandemic

Best Fitness & Work Out Video Games
(Getty/altrendo images)

Truthfully, what other choices do you have? You couldn’t go to the gym even if you wanted to. If your spouse can’t decide which she hates more — the time you waste gaming or your lack of exercise – you can use Nintendo Switch exercise games, Xbox fitness games, or PS4 exercise games to turn the tables on her. If you spend enough time exercising as you play, she can’t possibly complain when you’re try to determine the best halo game. Plus, you’ll be indoors – which is 100% social distancing compliant. It’s a win-win.

Bottom line truth: Gaming can be exercise, regardless of what she believes. It can even be good for your children’s health. Let them join you, I bet they’ll be believers after using the Nintendo Ring Fit Adventure! Squeezing the Ring-Con between your arms is no joke as you’re doing leg squats or overhead side bends. And if the wife needs even more proof, have her read one of the 4,000+ reviews on Amazon to see how real this workout can be.

Exercise Equipment for Switch, PS4, or Xbox Fitness Games

To make the most of your video gaming exercise time, you may need to buy extra hardware beyond the gaming console itself.

Xbox

You’ll need Kinect hardware with your Xbox One or Xbox 360 console to use Xbox fitness games.

Buy Kinect for Xbox One for $124 on Amazon

Buy Kinect for Xbox 360 for $295 on Amazon

Nintendo Switch

For the majority of Nintendo Switch exercise games, you only need Joy-Con controllers. Your Switch console should ship with two controllers, but you may want to buy an extra pair so you can play with two people at the same time.

Buy Joy-Con Controllers for $86 on Amazon

PS4

If you want to exercise with your PS4, you’re going to need VR hardware for many games, such as the PS4 VR headset to go with your PS4 console. The VR headset we’ve linked here has a couple of PS4 exercise games bundled with it — Creed: Rise to Glory and SUPERHOT VR — so you can start getting in shape right away.

Buy PlayStation VR Headset Bundle for $580 on Amazon

Best Exercise Video Games

Xbox One Kinect Sports Rivals

You can use Sports Rivals to show off your incredible athleticism. (Your spouse does not have to know that you peaked as an athlete at your fourth grade Field Day, when you finished second in the sack race.)

Sports Rivals allows you to select from multiple games, such as tennis, soccer, or rock climbing. When you make the correct movements, the game rewards you, so you’ll be working up a sweat before you know it, competing against another player or against the game’s AI component.

Make sure you have plenty of free space in the room when playing. You’re sure to become engaged in the game, rather than watching your surroundings, and you don’t want to break any of the knick-knacks on the coffee table celebrating an ace serve, or you’ll be sent outside to play real tennis instead of left indoors for fun video game tennis.

Buy for $34 on Amazon

Xbox 360 Kinect Your Shape: Fitness Evolved

For a more traditional type of workout with Xbox, this Your Shape title will give it to you. It lets you play as though you’re in the middle of an actual fitness class with fitness instructors. (We have to admit we’re a little jealous of how easily the graphical representations of fitness instructors can develop their abs. It hardly seems fair.)

You can take multiple classes, including those with martial arts workouts and yoga workouts. (No virtual puppy or goat yoga available, though. Sorry.)

Now, we understand that playing a fitness class video game probably isn’t the precise reason you purchased your gaming console. So if you want to play some Madden in between Your Shape Xbox fitness classes, we won’t judge.

Buy for $23 on Amazon

Xbox 360 Kinect Star Wars

Yes, it’s true: A Star Wars video game can give you an Xbox fitness workout. Stop giggling for joy.

We fully admit the Star Wars title does not fit in with traditional exercise video games, as you do not hold a controller to play. Instead, the Kinect measures your body movements to determine your success in the game.

Now, we’re certain your spouse is going to give you hell for this one. You promised you’d use the Xbox console for working out, and she catches you playing Star Wars.

We have the solution. Just give her a chance to play, and when she’s breathing heavily after a few minutes, she’ll cut you some slack … both about playing Star Wars and about your spare tire.

Buy for $50 on Amazon

Nintendo Switch Ring Fit Adventure

If you were a fan of Nintendo Wii fitness games, Ring Fit Adventure is the next step up. Ring Fit Adventure consists of physical gear made to help you work up a sweat and gaming software to keep it fun and entertaining.

The resistance ring, with the Switch’s Joy-Con controllers attached, works for making moves in the game, as well as for doing thigh presses or squats. It’s sturdy and will keep up with you during your workouts.

The gaming software is a first-person game that moves you through various levels to work toward a final goal. You’ll use the exercise ring to help you battle and achieve the goals.

It’s a really interesting mix of workout and fantasy game. If you hate the idea of exercising, just tell yourself that you’re actually playing a fantasy game (complete with sweat), and you’ll be happier.

Buy for $327 on Amazon

Nintendo Switch Arms

You remember Rock ’em Sock ’em Robots, right? Pretty fun, even for a nearly 45-year-old game. You could even pick up other collectible versions, such as Batman V Superman Rock ’em Sock ’em Robots.

The Arms Nintendo Switch exercise game is the next level forward and then some. It almost works like the punching robots have been crossed with a Slinky.

You can use the Switch controllers to simulate punches from a distance, working up a sweat that’s similar to a simulated boxing workout. You can pick from multiple fists to keep the game fresh.

This game is great for younger kids, who just want to throw haymaker after haymaker. You, as a sophisticated gamer, can figure out the nuances of the different fists and punching styles to win while you work out.

Buy for $56 on Amazon

Nintendo Switch Fitness Boxing

If Arms is too cartoonish to convince your spouse that you’re working out, this Fitness Boxing gaming title should do the trick.

This fits under the umbrella of classic exercise video games, as it relies on a training element, where you can select fitness goals, and the game will set up workouts to help you achieve them. It has just enough variability in the workouts to keep you interested.

It’s not quite the workout you’d receive at a boxing class at your local gym, but to make that class, you’d have to get off the couch, put on workout clothes, find your keys … who are we kidding? You’re not getting any farther than moving from the couch.

With this title, there’s plenty of upbeat music, helping motivate you to train with Fitness Boxing, rather than playing Mario Kart.

Buy for $65 on Amazon

BoxVR

Among many PS4 exercise games, you will need a VR headset, as we discussed earlier. With the BoxVR game, you’ll be able to feel like you’re in a boxing workout class — boxercise — selecting from hundreds of potential workouts. You even have the opportunity to create your own workouts.

It provides significant cardio benefits, as you’ll be moving constantly during the workout.

With such a good workout, your spouse is sure to be impressed. So much so that she may not complain if you drip some sweat in the living room. (Just don’t use a throw pillow to soak up the sweat, or all bets are off.)

Buy for $37 on Amazon

Just Dance 2020

Among exercise video games, Just Dance is a classic title that’s been around for several years, and it still gives a great workout that’s also a lot of fun. The entire family may want to jump in and join you, as the latest version has a song from Frozen II. (No one can hear Frozen songs enough times, although we’re sure your kids will test the limits on that.)

It may not fit in with other traditional PS4 exercise games, as it’s more about having fun and showing off your sick dance moves. (Friendly advice: You may want to confiscate all smartphones before starting to play, just so your moves don’t end up on your kids’ social media feeds.)

You will work up a healthy sweat while playing this game. It doesn’t require a VR headset for use on a PS4. It’s also available for multiple other consoles.

Buy for $37 on Amazon

Although we only recommend picks we really love, we may earn a commission on purchases made through links from our site.

The 6 Best Doorbell Cameras and Funniest Ring Doorbell Videos

(Ring.com)

Video doorbells offer plenty of advantages, such as being able to see who is at the door when you aren’t home and protecting your Amazon packages from porch pirates. The best doorbell camera is a key component in creating a smart home.

But we know their true purpose: To give us f***ing hilarious videos we can share on social media. Whether we want to watch a kid use the doorbell cam to call dad for help with the TV or a dad putting his daughter’s date through the ringer while he waits outside the front door, funny Ring doorbell videos are well worth the cost of a WiFi doorbell camera.

We’ll help you find the best doorbell camera for your needs, so you can keep your home safe. But before we do, we’ll share some videos that show you the more laugh out loud purpose of these cameras.

6 Funny Ring Doorbell Videos

6 Best Doorbell Camera Products

Ring Video Doorbell 2

The king when it comes to the best doorbell camera is the Ring brand, and this is the latest version. It has a 160-degree field of view with motion detection and infrared for night vision. It also integrates with most smart home systems.

It has a rechargeable battery, which is handy if you don’t want to hardwire it into your home’s electrical system.

This model enables two-way conversations, which makes it so much more convenient to create funny Ring doorbell videos. Plus the system records video in full 1080p HD video, so you’ll have the excellent quality you’ll need for receiving the most possible likes on social media when your delivery person does something crazy.

Buy for $169 on Amazon

Eufy Security WiFi Doorbell Camera

When you want the best video doorbell, no subscription needed, this Eufy doorbell is an excellent option. Eufy gives users a few different items for free that other companies charge extra for, so you won’t have hidden costs.

You can have two-way conversations with visitors at the door. The Eufy stores videos in its internal memory for up to 30 days each time the motion detector senses human movement in the field of vision of the lens.

We do have to mention the Eufy has an extensive artificial intelligence algorithm installed. (Sounds fancy.) The AI only enables the motion detector when it senses a human, rather than a random bird or cat, which preserves the internal storage space, but which cuts down significantly on your chance to capture a hilarious video. Trade-offs are a bitch.

Buy for $160 on Amazon

Amcrest Video Doorbell Camera Pro

If you want a cheaper alternative when picking a WiFi doorbell camera, this Amcrest model costs quite a bit less than some other models.

With a 140-degree field of view, two-way audio, night vision, and a full 1080p HD video recording, the Amcrest has plenty of great features, despite its low price.

You will need to have some know-how to wire this device into your home’s electrical system, as it does not have a battery backup option. Just be sure someone is filming you trying to do the installation, just in case something funny happens. Might as well get your funny video doorbell videos started before the unit is even installed.

Buy for $100 on Amazon

August Home Video Doorbell Camera Pro

If you (or your wife) hates the look of the typical best doorbell camera, this model from August has a squarish design that looks less like a skinny iPod and more like a … well, a squarish, bigger iPod. But at least it looks a bit different than the usual model.

The August video doorbell excels at night, using a floodlight to create full-color HD video, rather than relying on a grainy infrared image.

For a video doorbell, no subscription needed, this model provides basic video storage for 24 hours without a fee. You also can upgrade to a premium subscription package for up to 30 days of video storage.

If you pair this with smart door locks from August, you can use the combination to see who’s at the door and then let them in, all from your smartphone. God knows what your toddler will be able to do with that combination, once he or she starts pressing random buttons on your smartphone, but we’re sure that hilarity will ensue.

Buy for $198 on Amazon

Arlo Video Doorbell

If you have tried WiFi doorbell camera hardware in the past, but you hated the constant alerts on your smartphone every time a bird flew within 30 feet of it, this Arlo model is made with you in mind. It is able to ignore items that it doesn’t detect as human, so you don’t receive as many false alerts.

You will need a video doorbell subscription with Arlo to achieve the more precise monitoring and motion detecting, but at least it’s a low priced subscription.

It has a 180 degree field of view, which minimizes blind spots. Another aspect of the Arlo WiFi doorbell camera that sets it apart is that it records video in a square format at 1536×1536 pixels.

Yeah, we also find it weird that the Arlo has rounded edges yet records square video. Somehow it all works, though. It’s almost soothing. Kind of like how a particular restaurant places square hamburger patties onto round buns. Looks weird as hell, but it’s oddly comforting. (And, yes, this is a shameless attempt to see if Wendy’s infamous Twitter account is paying attention.)

Buy for $130 on Amazon

Ring Video Doorbell

When you want the best doorbell camera brand — it’s Ring, in case you haven’t figured it out yet — but you can’t stomach shelling out the cash for the latest version, the original Ring is still being sold … and at a bargain price.

The video quality is limited to 720p HD, but if you have an older smartphone (that’s covered in scratches and fingerprints from letting your kids play with it regularly), you probably won’t notice the difference.

You can see what is happening outside your door with Live View.

We do have to make one thing clear. Sometimes having old tech becomes cool, like an original Nintendo NES or a handheld electronic football game. At this point, having an old Ring is not considered cool. But once Ring Doorbell versions 5 or 6 are out, the original Ring may become a collector item, so consider it a good investment.

Buy for $100 on Amazon

Although we only recommend picks we really love, we may earn a commission on purchases made through links from our site.

8 Father-Daughter Activities That Are Fun for All — Golf and Tea Parties Included

8 Father-Daughter Activities

We recently showcased some awesome activities for fathers and sons. Well, dads and daughters have an equally special relationship. Our hearts get hooked at the hospital the moment they grasp our fingers with their tiny fists.

Maintaining that special relationship through the teen years and into adulthood takes some work, though— and we speak from experience. Father-daughter activities are a good place to start.

As a younger dad, you may not have a clue where to start. After all, you didn’t do things with your little sister when you were a kid … other than torturing her endlessly.

Here’s the thing, though: Finding things to do together doesn’t have to be that hard. Don’t overthink it. Just spending time together is a big part of the enjoyment.

When looking for things dads can do with daughters, some things may be more fun for dad, like playing video games with your daughter; some will be more fun for your daughter, like teasing dad on social media; and some will be equally fun for both of you, like learning the latest dance craze. (It’s OK to admit you like it.)

We’ve put together a list of the eight best products to help you find things to do with your daughter and create some enjoyable memories. Hopefully, you’ll build a bond that’ll last through her wedding day and beyond. Or at least you’ll find something to do that won’t have her rolling her eyes at you all day.

Best Products For Father Daughter Activities

Precise X7 Junior Complete Golf Club Set

Golf is one of those sports that we can participate in and enjoy from the time we’re kids until we’re seniors. (Well, enjoy is a strong word. I mean, that period where I couldn’t break 100 for a couple of summers in a row was not enjoyable.)

This X7 set is a nice introductory set for kids, helping them learn the game for a reasonable price. Whether you want to hit balls at the driving range with your daughter, have some fun in the backyard with plastic golf balls, or jump straight into the game at a local junior course, these clubs will handle it.

If the kid takes a liking to the game, you can buy her a nicer set of clubs in a couple of years. Who knows? Maybe someday she’ll even beat you. (But you can always save face and say that you let her win.)

There are a bunch of sizes and colors available, pick one she’ll like (don’t pick pink just because she’s a girl). Maybe you can even purchase a new golf bag for yourself in a matching color. (Ulterior motive: Ramp up the cuteness factor here, and your wife might actually be excited about letting you play golf.)

Buy for $115 on Amazon

Under Armour Rave 2 Sneaker

Maybe you’re more of a distance runner than a golfer. Running is another one of the things to do with your daughter that can last from childhood through adulthood.

Running can be done almost anywhere with your daughter, whether you enjoy remote trail running, track running, or running on sidewalks in your neighborhood. You’ll both need highly cushioned running shoes that will support your body and protect your leg joints.

It doesn’t hurt if the shoes look good, so the kid will want to participate. These Under Armour shoes have colors kids will love. They also have breathable mesh panels, so they won’t stink as bad as they could. (Trust us. The stink can almost develop its own personality over time.)

Eventually, you may be able to work toward doing a 5K together. Just be sure to pick one that has great snacks at the finish line. (Bribery works in almost any father-daughter activity.)

Buy for $49 on Amazon

CINEMOOD Portable Movie Theater

Perhaps going to the movies is one of your favorite father-daughter activities. But when you want to stream video instead of going to the movies, this portable projector is a great option. Create your own at-home movie theater.

It allows you to access one of several different streaming services, creating a projection on the wall or on a hanging sheet up to 12 feet away. Also great for night-time viewing out in the yard or on the patio. (Just a hunch, but if you figure out how to stream Disney+ through this thing, you might win one of those “Dad of the Year” mugs on Father’s Day.)

You can download your own video, too, for those times when you don’t have access to WiFi.

Buy for $360 on Amazon

Singing Machine Bluetooth Karaoke System

If your girls love to sing, one of the things dads can do with daughters is host your own karaoke party with this machine. (Truth be told, we’re pretty good singers, too. This is our chance to prove it outside of the shower.)

This karaoke machine works for things to do with dad and daughters of all ages (even teenage daughters or pre-teens). It has LED lighting to keep the younger ones entertained, and you can connect it to your television so you can see the lyrics to let older kids experience the true karaoke experience (minus the overwhelming amount of booze).

It has a CD player, or you can stream songs wirelessly through Bluetooth or over USB.

And after the kids go to bed, maybe you can use the machine to serenade your spouse with your favorite romantic song from when you were dating. (After she gets done laughing her ass off at your attempt, maybe she’ll even join in for some adult singing time.)

Buy for $70 on Amazon

GoPro MAX Waterproof Camera

For things dads can do with daughters that involve action and outdoor fun, this GoPro camera can let you capture it all, so you can watch it again later or post it to social media.

This GoPro camera can handle anything you throw at it. It shoots full HD video, and it can capture 360-degree photos.

If your daughter likes to skateboard, ride bicycles, roller skate, or snowboard, you can attach this camera to her equipment and film the experience, letting her show off her skills later.

Then, to make it a true father-daughter activity, you can try to match what she did. You’ll be amazed by how many likes your disastrous results will get. (It’s always good how dads can provide comic relief in any situation.)

Buy for $499 on Amazon

Backyard Discovery Sweetwater Wooden Playhouse

Building a backyard playhouse is a great activity when you’re looking for things to do with your daughter. You’ll have fun when you’re putting the playhouse together, and you can have fun playing in it afterward.

Now if you previously tried to build a playhouse from scratch, and your carpentry skills are lacking, we’re assuming it didn’t go well. Perhaps that particular father-daughter activity allowed the kid to learn many new swear words. (I “taught” my daughter the F-bomb when she was 15 months old, and she proceeded to repeat it at every opportunity for about a week. Not my best fathering moment.)

This playhouse consists of panels that you can put together pretty easily. This means you won’t look like an idiot in front of the kid. (We hope.) And you’ll actually be able to put it together and play with it in the same day.

It has a great all-wood design, and it should last a long time. Winterizing it each year can even be part of the daddy-daughter activity (there’s a paintbrush involved, after all).

Buy for $199 on Amazon

VIAHART Brain Flakes

If you’re tired of LEGOs or if your daughter has no interest in the little plastic bricks, you can let her show off her creativity in building with these interlocking discs. There are instructions included to make some designs, and you can download more directions for designs if you’d rather follow a pattern.

The colorful discs click together in a variety of directions, allowing you and your daughter to create all kinds of 3D artwork. They pull apart just as easily, so you can clean up quickly. (That is if little brother didn’t find a way to destroy the artwork before cleanup time.)

Each flat disc measures only 1.3 inches in diameter, so they’re easy enough to handle, and they pack up nicely in their own container. 500 pieces are included in this set.

We’re not sure Brain Flakes will ever be as popular as LEGOs, but we can be certain that if you happen to step on one, it’ll hurt a hell of a lot less.

Buy for $14 on Amazon

Jewelkeeper 15 Piece Kids Tea Party Set

Sometimes, as a dad, you just have to bite the bullet with father-daughter activities. Maybe your daughter chooses ballet instead of basketball. Maybe you have to spend your hard-earned money on ballet lessons and tutus instead of on your favorite player’s basketball jersey.

Maybe you have to go to a ballet recital for 4-year-olds who can barely make it across the stage without tripping and falling down instead of going to the basketball game with your buddies on the very day where the home team wins on a half-court shot at the buzzer. It just happens. You cry (a lot) and move on.

Sometimes, part of being a dad is playing tea party. Homer Simpson did it with Lisa. WWE wrestler Roman Reigns did it on a TV commercial. And you’ll probably have to do it, too.

This tea set will help you get started, coming with all the parts needed, including a carrying case. And if you choose to turn your cup of tea into a Long Island Iced Tea when the kid isn’t looking, no one will blame you. Don’t forget the snacks— every tea party needs tea (water) and crumpets (cookies or trail mix in our house).

Buy for $20 on Amazon

Although we only recommend picks we really love, we may earn a commission on purchases made through links from our site.

8 Father and Son Activities That Will Actually Impress Your Kid

Finding quality time to do father-son activities is a high priority for any dad. A day you spend working overtime at the office instead of tucking your son into bed is another day the Cats in the Cradle song plays on a loop in your head. Depressing.

But when you’re looking for father and son things to do, don’t feel like you have to do something extra. If you’re constantly trying to one-up your together time, you’ll eventually lose sight of what’s important: hanging out with your son.

So we’ve thought up some wholesome and fun activities that let you spend quality (not questionable) time together. These father-son projects won’t get you in huge trouble with your spouse like father-son WrestleMania. It also won’t have you building a Mad Max car out of your son’s plastic scooter. And while our father-son activities won’t be as fulfilling as starting a non-profit organization together, you will be able to spend quality time playing, talking, and laughing, which is what really matters.

Best Products For Father-Son Activities

Wilson Baseball Gloves and Rawlings Ball

One of the best and most traditional ways to spend time with father and son games is to have a catch. (Yeah, we know: “Have a catch” is a stupid way to say “play catch.” But Field of Dreams said, “have a catch,” so what are we supposed to do? It’s f***ing Field of Dreams.)

We’re going to put a twist on having a catch, though. As a dad, you want your son to have the same favorite baseball team as you do. If you’re a Dodgers fan, you want your son to love the blue too, so you can share that fandom into old age. (And he sure as hell better not be a Giants fan.)

With this Wilson t-ball glove, you can have it shipped to you with official colors and logo of any Major League team. (Some people would call that brainwashing your son to like the same team you like. Others would call it brilliant. We’re going with the latter.)

To complete the set, add a Rawlings baseball with the same team logo. And if you need a glove, or if your son is older, we really like the Wilson A700.

Buy Wilson A200 Youth T-ball Glove for $25 on Amazon

Buy Wilson A700 Baseball Glove for $60 on Amazon

Buy Rawlings Official MLB Team Logo Baseball for $7 on Amazon

Aomekie Telescope

If you’re both busy during the day and need some father and son things to do at night, this beginner level telescope is a great choice. It can be fun to explore the night sky, especially for a kid who has a bit of an obsession with all things space.

If you live in the city, where light pollution kills the night sky, this model ships with a backpack that allows you to carry it with you on a drive to the country so you can actually see the stars and moon. (Do not tip cows on the way as a bonus father-son project, no matter how tempting.)

Now if you’re going to take a younger child out for an adventure with the telescope, you need to temper the expectations. You aren’t going to see colorful nebulas, closeup views of the storm on Jupiter, or even ET’s spaceship with this beginner-level model. But it still can be fun inspecting the details of the moon or trying to spot Mars.

Buy for $86 on Amazon

Coleman Sundome Tent

When you make the trip to the country with your telescope, you may want to make it a full-on camp out. Nothing quite speaks to father-son activities like learning how to build a campfire and putting up a tent. Big benefit: Because this Coleman tent is easy to assemble, you won’t look like an idiot in front of your kid, wrestling with a tent that won’t cooperate. (There will be plenty of time to look like an idiot when he’s a teenager.)

This tent’s made of waterproof materials, so you’ll stay dry against the damp ground or in case it rains during the night. It’s also well-ventilated for humid summer nights.

It has room for four people in case the rest of the family wants to come along. But it’s not snake- or spider-proof, so that may discourage some of them (try not to grin as you point that out).

Buy for $65 on Amazon

Canon EOS Rebel T7 DSLR Camera with Lens

If you’re looking for more father and son things to do while outdoors and spending time in nature, a digital camera can be a lot of fun. They will likely ask “what’s a camera?” and you’ll have to sound like an old man recounting your pre-iPhone, digital camera days, but just maybe your kid’s a renaissance guy who knows vintage is cool.

We love the idea of letting kids shoot photos with a digital camera because every kid that ever holds a camera shoots 100 photos in the first 100 seconds … most of which come out terrible. With a digital camera, you aren’t stuck paying for film processing and prints for the 99 awful photos out of 100.

This is one of our favorite beginner level DSLR cameras, as it has a low price point for a DSLR, especially considering it ships with a starter lens. It also has quite a few features aimed at helping those new to photography learn to use the camera.

After shooting the photos, you and your son can spend more time together by looking through the digital photos, picking out your favorites.

And if the kid drops it while on the hike, and it bounces over the edge of a ravine, smashing on the rocks below, you won’t feel as bad as if you had let the kid hold a $1,000-plus piece of camera gear. (We said “if” the kid drops it. Yes, we are the eternal optimists.)

Buy for $399 on Amazon

Holy Stone HS200 RC Drone

In the old days (those digital camera ones), you and your dad might have built a balsa wood glider, which flew great exactly one time. It then crashed into the ground, smashing into a million pieces, and that was the end of the father and son games … and the start of uncontrollable sobbing. (I have to admit, I always hated to see my old man cry after the inevitable crash.)

These days, you and your son can fly a remote control drone together. Now there’s no guarantee it too won’t crash and break into a million pieces. But this drone is made to be reassembled relatively easily after a crash, keeping the tears at bay.

This drone ships with a 720p HD video camera, and you can use your smartphone to activate the camera, creating fun videos and photos. Just don’t teach the kid that it’s OK to use the drone to spy on the neighbors. Have them repeat: drones are for good, not evil.

Buy for $70 on Amazon

Bandai Hobby Star Wars Tie Fighter Building Kit

There aren’t too many cultural icons that were popular when you were a kid and are still popular now that you have your own kid. The Simpsons may fit the bill … and they may still be going when you have your own grandkid.

But when you want a sure-fire cultural reference that spans generations, it’s Star Wars. Hell, Star Wars might be more popular now than it was in the 1970s and 1980s.

Building your own Tie Fighter model is one of the best father-son projects. Fathers and sons have been building model kits for decades, and this one will be treasured for years to come. (Just make sure you don’t hog all the fun. Let the kid do some of the work, even if it doesn’t turn out perfectly.)

Buy for $24 on Amazon

Blank Comic Book

Draw Your Own Comics Blank Comic Book

Most young boys love comic books, so you could spend a fun day with your son reading comics. But maybe your tastes in superheroes aren’t quite the same. Maybe your son is a Marvel fan, and you’re more about the DC characters. (We know, we know, those are fighting words.)

Instead of just reading comics, maybe your father-son activity is more about creating your own comic adventure. This is a perfect father and son thing to do for a kid who loves to draw. There’s also a father and son games section at the back when you want to take a break from drawing.

This book contains many template pages that give you a head start on creating an amazing comic, along with some blank pages for wilder imaginations. (And if you want to get on mom’s good side, maybe make her the superhero in the story.)

Buy for $5 on Amazon

The Bob’s Burgers Burger Book: Real Recipes for Joke Burgers

Maybe your son enjoys spending time in the kitchen, rather than hiking outdoors, having a catch, or drawing. If so, we have you covered with this book, containing recipes based on the Bob’s Burgers TV cartoon. (If you haven’t watched Bob’s Burgers, we’re guessing your son has, so catch up.)

Bob runs a small-town family restaurant that specializes in hamburgers, and one of the running gags in the series is that Bob always has a daily burger special with a clever name and crazy ingredients. (You really haven’t seen Bob’s Burgers? It’s been on the air almost 10 years on a pseudo-real network on FOX. You need to up your TV watching game.)

We’re not sure anyone ever orders the burger of the day on the show, but this book has actual recipes for some of those burgers. You and your son can have a lot of fun finding just the right burger to try and then make it together. You may be able to teach him a few of your grilling secrets along the way.

We won’t guarantee it’ll taste good, but it’ll provide plenty of laughs. (Maybe let mom be the taste tester, just in case it sucks. She’ll be too nice to tell you how truly awful it is.)

Buy for $15 on Amazon

Although we only recommend picks we really love, we may earn a commission on purchases made through links from our site.

How to Unclog a Toilet – Waging War on the Clog From Kids Toys, Rings, and Other SH*T

Tacklife Drain Auger Toilet Clog

Although you can’t count on too many things once you become a parent, you can count on a kid flushing something down the toilet that will cause a major clog. (A significant number of plumbing businesses survive on work from things kids do the toilet. True fact.) There are stretchy hairbands, wedding rings, and every possible toy from Legos to foam bath letters to mounds of Play-Doh (yes, it’s happened to us). Of course, you’re welcome to shove your hand in and try to grab the sh*t out (pun intended), but it’s often too late as the kids love watching it go bye-bye while flushing.

How To Unclog A Toilet

Regardless of whether the toilet is clogged from a child’s toy, a morning bathroom situation, or something in between, unclogging the toilet takes a little bit of know-how and the right products.

If you’d rather skip to the products you can use when you want to know how to unclog a toilet, scroll down. Otherwise, here are some hit and miss options for how to unclog a toilet without a plunger.

We cannot guarantee these techniques will work all of the time. We can guarantee they will create a f*cking mess that will have you questioning whether digging an outhouse in the backyard would be a better option.

Always turn off the water source before working on your toilet clog. The shut-off valve is the tiny oval-shaped knob on the wall or coming out of the floor behind the toilet.

  • Pour in extra water: When you have a siphon style toilet, adding more water to the toilet bowl puts pressure on the clog from the weight of the water, and the extra water may pop it loose. Or it may overflow the bowl and create a mini-flood. Fun times.
  • Baking soda and vinegar: Empty as much water from the bowl as possible. Then use a combination of two cups of vinegar to one cup of baking soda, which may work on organic materials causing a clog. It’ll foam up and look cool too, so the kids will love it. Let it sit for 30-60 minutes and then dump in extra water to see if the clog has loosened.
  • Don’t use a wire hanger: You’ll see plenty of Internet suggestions that tell you to unwind a metal clothes hanger and try to snake it through the toilet. A flexible auger (like we have listed below) will work as a toilet snake; an inflexible wire hanger will not. The siphon style toilet has multiple loops and bends in the pipe before it reaches the main sewer pipe. (You can see these bends outlined along the outside of the toilet if you want to crawl around near the back of the toilet.) An inflexible wire will just get stuck.
  • Use a 2-liter pop bottle: Empty as much water from the toilet bowl as possible. Fill a 2-liter soda bottle with water. Jam the nozzle end into the toilet drain hole and squeeze the bottle hard. Hopefully, the rush of water will knock the clog loose. Be ready for a lot of splashback, though. Like a HAZMAT level of splashback.
  • Saving an item: The chances of you being able to pull an item out of the toilet is slim, not without disassembling the toilet. For small items, like a wedding ring, if you flush, it’s probably not even going to get stuck. It’s just gone. On the other hand, children’s toys may get stuck. You’ll want an auger to try to snag it and pull it back out. If you push it farther down, it could create even a bigger problem.

Best Products For How To Unclog A Toilet

Tacklife Drain Auger

We might as well start our list of products used to unclog a toilet with a power tool. (You know why.)

This snake has a 25-foot cable that can pop loose clogs inside the toilet or other pipes inside the home. It works on pipes between 0.75 and 3 inches in diameter.

It’s powerful enough that it will clean out the majority of clogs, but it’s not overly powerful to the point that you’ll do excessive damage to the toilet and sewer pipes, and the plumber just makes the cha-ching noise over and over as he’s inspecting your work.

Buy for $100 on Amazon

 

Neiko Toilet Plunger With Aluminum Handle

When wondering how to unclog a toilet, a high quality, solid plunger will do the trick more than 99% of the time … 98% if you have kids.

You can bet your significant other is going to try to convince you to buy a little plunger that fits underneath the sink, matches the bathroom’s decor, and that won’t be noticeable.

No.

If you are ever going to stand up for yourself, this is the time. You need a big plunger to handle the worst clogged toilet problems. It’s simply physics. Do not lose this fight, or you’re going to lose your battle with a clogged toilet … and your manhood. Seriously.

Buy for $14 on Amazon

Green Gobbler Liquid Clog Remover

If you’re wondering how to unclog a toilet without a plunger, and you’re sure the clog in your toilet is organic — crap, toilet paper, or something similar — this is the solution. It’s made more for sink pipes, but it’ll work on a nasty toilet clog too.

The best solution is to pour this into the toilet bowl, let it work for a half-hour or so. If the clog is still there, try the plunger again, as the clog remover may have loosened things a bit.

It works especially well on hair clogs. Why would you have a hair clog in your toilet? We don’t want to know. But if you do, this is the answer.

Buy for $25 on Amazon

Booda Brand Drain Auger

If the power auger we listed earlier is a bit out of your budget, this hand-operated auger gives you a cheaper alternative. Its 25-foot flexible steel wire can stand up to repeated uses, and it can bend 90 degrees or more to wiggle through the bends and kinks in the siphon toilet piping.

You won’t look as cool as with the power auger, but it’s better than putting on a rubber glove and trying to jam your hand down the toilet hole. Way better.

Buy for $22 on Amazon

Samshow Toilet Dredge

We readily admit, this thing looks terrible. It looks like something you might find at that store that’s under the Interstate overpass. And we only know that because we went there for gag gifts for a friend’s bachelor party. (That’s our story, and we’re sticking to it.)

It’s a plunger of sorts, but the flexible part is made to wind inside the siphon tube, allowing you to get at a nasty clog. It’s not going to snag an item and pull it back to you like an auger might, but it tries to push the clog farther along, hopefully allowing it to wash down the sewer pipe.

We’d rely on the regular plunger first, but this is a reasonable choice as a backup before calling in a professional.

Buy for $14 on Amazon

FEIYABDF Pneumatic Toilet Dredge

Here’s another God-awful looking toilet unclogger. If your wife balks at having a large traditional plunger in the bathroom, she’s going to lose her sh*t if you try to store this where it’s visible in the bathroom. So place it in the back of the closet and only bring it out when you really need it.

Jam the equipment through the hole in the toilet bowl. Then build up air pressure in it with the included pump. Let the air go, and it hopefully with blow the clog away, down through the sewer pipe. Be prepared for some serious toilet water flying backward out of the toilet bowl.

On the plus side, at least the manufacturer is highly focused on safety. After all, the warning label that comes with it says, “Do not spray on people.” We can’t make this stuff up.

Buy for $50 on Amazon

Ultimately, if you cannot pop the clog loose, you’ll have to pull the heavy toilet out of place, working at the clog from the opposite end. This creates a giant, wet mess. And if you don’t re-seat the toilet correctly, you could have serious leaks. It may be time to call in a plumber if the toilet needs to come off the floor.

Although we only recommend picks we really love, we may earn a commission on purchases made through links from our site.