Jordan Stratton or something you find in dirty diaper. We aren't sure.

Jordan Stratton

Jordan is one of those guys in his late 20s with a master's degree and no idea what he wants to do with his life. He eats an unhealthy amount of cereal, spends an irrational amount of time on the internet, and would be delighted if you followed him on Twitter.

Microsoft Unveils Next-Gen Console: Project Scarlett


Microsoft is finally unveiling details regarding its upcoming console that will compete against the PlayStation 5 and Google’s Stadia Service. This high-end console, codenamed Project Scarlett, will reportedly output 4 times more power than their current powerhouse, the Xbox One X, and “usher in resolution and framerates we’ve never seen before.”

This new project will be powerful enough to support ray-tracing (an advanced graphics rendering technique), variable refresh rate support, and up to 120fps in gameplay. It will also support 8k gaming (though, it might be harder getting your hands on a TV that will support 8k, honestly).

Like the PS5, Project Scarlett is utilizing a solid state drive (SSD) to help boost the console’s performance.

“We’ve created a new generation of SSDs. We’re using the SSD as virtual RAM,” says an Xbox spokesperson in their unveiling video.

This will result in a console that is up to 40 times faster than the current generation, cutting loading times to a fraction of what they currently are. (You’re welcome, players of massive RPGs)

Of course, new consoles are dead in the water without quality games to release with them, which is why Microsoft is making everyone knows that Halo Infinite will be launching alongside it. Hopefully, couch co-op is including this time around. [biggest side-eye ever to 343 Industries]

As with the PS5, we don’t have actual specs of what the physical Project Scarlet console will look like yet, but be on the lookout for updates in the coming months, especially when next year’s E3 rolls around.

Beer-Loving Dad Gets Proper Send-off in Foster’s Can Casket

(Solent News)

Raising a glass to someone who’s died is a common tradition, but literally burying them in a beer can is something new.

Perry Cardy, a father-of-three was buried in a casket resembling a massive can of Foster’s lager—his favorite drink.

(Solent News)

“I think he would have been blown away and I think he would have thought it was really funny,” said Mandy Hunter, Perry’s sister. “It was a fitting send-off for him. He loved a Foster’s top, that was his favorite drink.”

A lager top is typically a summer beverage in which a lager (in this case, Foster’s) is topped with a bit of lemonade or lime juice, so it made sense that someone who clearly knew Perry set a can of lemonade on top of the casket.

(Solent News)

“I spoke to the funeral directors and asked if we could have the coffin wrapped, like you can do with cars,” Mandy continued. “He said it was possible and gave us a quote. While a traditional coffin would be around £400, we paid £700 to have the Foster’s can printed on it.

“We didn’t want it to be a sad funeral, we wanted it to be upbeat and happy, just like how Perry would have wanted.

“We had so many lovely comments at the funeral saying what a lovely idea it was, it will make people remember Perry’s funeral with happy thoughts.”

(Solent News)

On the evening of April 19th Perry was assaulted outside of his local pub. Perry was rushed to the hospital with serious head trauma but succumbed to his injuries the following morning. The man responsible has been charged with murder and is scheduled to appear in court later this month.

Despite his quiet demeanor, Perry was always friendly and well-liked by his community—so much so, in fact, that his sister was surprised by just how many folks wanted to pay their respects.

“Perry was quite a quiet person who kept himself to himself, so I don’t think even we realized just how well liked he was by his friends and fellow workmates. We are overwhelmed with the amount of people who turned up.”

Cheers, Perry!

25 Years Ago We Lost Great Actor and Dad, John Candy

(Courtesy of the Candy Family/Universal Pictures/Paramount Pictures)

He was a beloved actor in 44 films, but many people don’t know that John Candy was first and foremost a family man. Now, 25 years after his untimely death, his kids are doing their best to honor their father’s wonderful legacy while also making serious waves of their own.

The 1994 film, Wagons East, was Candy’s final movie. Before traveling to Mexico to shoot, the 43-year-old told actress Catherine O’Hara that he felt something bad was going to happen there. He had been away from his family for most of the year and vowed that this would be his last film.

“I don’t know if he was excited to work on it or wasn’t,” Candy’s son, Chris, said in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter. “Richard Lewis, who worked with him on that movie, told me he was so much fun and so funny, but when he looked at my dad, he looked so tired.”

The night of Candy’s fatal heart attack, he had a brief exchange with the night watchman on the premises before going to his room for the night—his exact words: “I’m so tired. All I want to do is go home and be with my family.”

Chris and his sister, Jen, openly talk about their father’s death and the events leading up to it; they consider it cathartic.

“I was 9. It was a Friday,” Chris said. “I remember talking to him the night before he passed away and he said, ‘I love you and goodnight.’ And I will always remember that.”

Jen added, “I remember my dad the night before. I was studying for a vocabulary test. I was 14. He had just come home for my 14th birthday, which is Feb. 3. So I was talking to him on the phone, and, I hate this, but I was slightly distant because I was studying. So I was like, ‘Yeah, OK, I love you. I will talk to you later. Have a great night.’ Then I hang up, and I go back to studying.”

(Courtesy of the Candy Family)

The news the following day was brutal. The kids were suddenly caught in the spotlight, trying their best to grieve while caught in a whirlwind of paparazzi.

On the day of the funeral, they witnessed just how impactful their father—the man who loved them so intimately—had been on their community.

“I remember when we were ready to take him to [Holy Cross Cemetery], they blocked off [Interstate] 405 from Sunset [Boulevard] all the way to Slauson [Avenue],” Chris described. “LAPD stopped traffic and escorted us all. I still can’t believe that. Whenever I feel like I lose the importance of him to people, I just remember that happened. They do that for the president.”

According to Chris and Jen, Candy was just as warm and endearing as many of his onscreen personas, though no single part nails him completely.

“Johnny LaRue was most him, to an extent,” Jen said. “And the reason I say that is Johnny LaRue was a business guy, he was lovable, but Dad was not smarmy. You mix that with Uncle Buck and Del Griffith [from Planes, Trains and Automobiles] and you’ve got my dad. He brought a little bit of himself to all of his characters.”

While Candy fiercely loved his wife and kids, his family will always remember the way he yearned to help those who were less fortunate through various organizations.

“He was constantly working with some sort of charity,” Jen said, naming Make-A-Wish and the Pediatric AIDS Foundation as only a couple on a long list. “He liked to make people laugh and feel good. And with certain kinds of charity work, especially with kids, he could do that, and that made him feel good.”

While everyone likely has a favorite Candy role, the one that meant the most to him was that of Dean Andrews Jr., the aberrant New Orleans lawyer in Oliver Stone’s JFK (1991).

JFK was my favorite of him for the longest time because he is so good in it,” Jen says. “He worked so hard on that. He had a dialect coach, and he worked night and day on that script. He was so worried about it, getting that accent down.”

In fact, Jen has a clear memory of a night when Candy was working on the part. “We were having water fights with our cousin while Dad was trying to learn lines, and we did get yelled at because we were being too loud. It was a ‘dad’ yell. He never yelled.”

John Candy, writer-director John Hughes, and Steve Martin. (Getty/Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic)

As for Candy’s favorite filmmakers, he had a special kinship with writer and director, John Hughes. In total, Candy appeared in eight films that were written, directed, or produced by Hughes.

“I know there were films he didn’t want to do, but with John Hughes, it was always ‘What’s the next one? You gotta hurry up and write something,’ because they were perfect for each other,” Jen said.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987), a Thanksgiving classic, is still regarded as some of Candy and Hughes’s best work together, achieving a staggering 92 percent on Rotten Tomatoes.

Chris recounts a story Hughes shared about a classic scene from the film: “They were really overbudget and overscheduled, and Paramount was coming down to get everything going. Well, that was the day they were filming the scene with the devil costume. My dad had the idea that it would be funny if Steve [Martin] saw Del as the devil. So [the Paramount execs] finally get on set and Dad is walking around in this devil costume, and they’re like ‘What the hell does this have to do with anything?!'”

Chris and Jen, now both actors and comedians in their own right, are doing their best to honor their iconic father while also forging their own paths in the entertainment industry.

“It took a while for us to even use the name,” Jen said. “I wanted to develop who I was as a person, develop what I wanted to do. We have had people say, ‘Call so and so and have them do this for you,’ and I have said, ‘No, I don’t want to do that.'”

The siblings have both done voice work on their father’s cartoon, Camp Candy, and Jen hosts a monthly talk show at Second City Hollywood called Couch Candy, where she interviews various stars who worked with her father.

“It makes me feel so good to have him as a Dad,” Jen told Ottawa Life. “Everyone says such sweet things and how he was so relatable and found that they could connect with him without knowing him.”

She says hardly a day goes by when somebody doesn’t reach out to her either on social media or in person to describe the unique ways John Candy influenced them.

“He’s not really gone because we talk about him so much, and we’ll always open a box and there’s a billion photos of him. So, it’s like, there he is,” Chris explained.

“As much as he is gone, he is not gone,” Jen concludes. “He is always there.”

Jen, Chris, and their mother, Rose, on their family’s property in Queensville, Ontario. (Courtesy of the Candy Family)

Disney is Assembling a Full-Fledged Marvel Land for 2020

(The Walt Disney Company)

With Disney acquiring popular licenses left and right (hello, X-Men), it’s no surprise that they’re beefing up their theme parks with rides and attractions from world-renowned, beloved franchises. Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge just opened its doors at Disneyland in Anaheim and, even though all the rides aren’t even open yet, people are already losing their minds over it.

The newest themed area, however, is already well on its way to being completed and it’s none other than, you guessed it… Marvel.

Nothing official is being divulged by Disney yet, but according to recently filed building permits in Anaheim, there are huge superhero-themed developments making their way to “the happiest place on earth.” We’re talking character meet-and-greets, merch stores (because where else are you gonna get your perfect replica of Mjolnir), and even a themed microbrewery.

Marvel Land (which will undoubtedly have a different name since “Marvel” is not allowed to be used in theme parks) will replace “A Bug’s Land,” which closed last fall. Disney being Disney, the area has been closed off with low-key “Stark Industries” branding, teasing guests as they wildly speculate what’s happening behind the walls.

Recently, the Tower of Terror ride was revamped into Guardians of the Galaxy: MISSION BREAKOUT and it’s certainly no coincidence that it sits just adjacent to this newly developing part of the park. They’re undoubtedly planning to tie the entire area together.


Additionally, while no publicized information has been provided regarding which other Disney parks will follow suit with their own Marvel-themed attractions, leaked concept art for Disneyland Paris suggests plans for various Avengers-themed attractions in the future.

Don’t get ready to assemble just yet, though. Disneyland’s new Marvel-themed area isn’t scheduled to open until 2020, but we expect to learn more from the annual D23 Expo in August.

Nintendo Has Announced Two Huge Sequels in the Making


Nintendo wasn’t afraid to tease us with plenty of trailer content from some beloved franchises at E3 this year, and while they may have left us with more questions than answers, we simply can’t get enough.


First and foremost, the sequel to the 2017 Game of the Year-winner, Nintendo’s The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, is officially in development and the trailer looks surprisingly creepy. . . but, like, in a totally awesome way.

The video features Link and Zelda working together this time, making their way through some eerie cave or tomb. The duo comes across a seemingly long-dead body with a flowing mane of red hair and golden jewelry highly reminiscent of the Gerudo.

While nothing is certain yet, the trailer has all of us wildly speculating about the game and possible features.

Is this body some new (or old) incarnation of Ganondorf?

Who is making the castle float and what could this imply?

Does Zelda’s new cropped hairdo mean that she will take a more active role in this game? Possibly as a playable character? OR MAIN CHARACTER?

Of course, we are nowhere near answering these questions. Nintendo has a track record of releasing Zelda games years in advance, so don’t expect to go exploring a new version of Hyrule until late 2020 at the earliest.


Another hype train that’s officially left the station is focused on that debonair mustachioed plumber everyone knows about. No, not Mario. The other one. The tall one. You know. . . he likes green?

Okay, just watch the trailer.

The third installment of Luigi’s Mansion is right around the corner with a holiday 2019 release schedule and will highlight a bunch of spooky new features that fans of the franchise are bound to love.

To preface, the Mario Bros. crew all get invited to stay at some swanky hotel. As you might suspect, everyone goes missing and Luigi, armed with his trusty ‘poltergust,’ is tasked with finding out what the heck happened amidst hoards of ghastly residents.

With new moves like slamming ghosts around and into each other, firing plungers (like an actual plumber for once), and literally turning into a green slime version of Luigi called—and I’m not kidding—”Gooiji,” Luigi’s Mansion 3 looks like it has all the trappings of a quality Nintendo sequel.

Plus, with the new online eight-player co-op mode “Scarescraper,” there will be more than enough chaotic, ghost-trapping shenanigans for the whole family!

Keanu Reeves Funds Children’s Hospitals and Is Generally Most Excellent

(Getty/Christopher Jue)

From his continued success in the role of John Wick to being featured in Cyberpunk 2077, Keanu Reeves can seemingly do no wrong, but some recent “Kea-news” is making people gush over him even more.

While he has undoubtedly attained incredible success in Hollywood, Reeves has also faced a number of significant hardship in his life. His father left their family when Reeves was only 13-years-old, he struggled in school due to a dyslexia diagnosis, he gave up on his athletic dreams after a significant injury, and he experienced immense grief when his long-time girlfriend (who would later die in a car accident) gave birth to their stillborn daughter.

In spite of these difficulties, it was when his younger sister, Kim, was battling leukemia in the 1990s that he began donating generous amounts to a number of cancer research charities and anonymously established a foundation in Kim’s honor.

(Getty/Karwai Tang)

Reeves rarely mentions these donations, but opened up about them in an interview with Ladies’ Home Journal in 2009:

“I have a private foundation that’s been running for five or six years, and it helps aid a couple of children’s hospitals and cancer research. I don’t like to attach my name to it, I just let the foundation do what it does.”

On top of his charitable funding, Reeves is known for his immense generosity, both in his career and just as a human being in general.

According to an assistant prop manager for Chain Reaction (1996), Reeves routinely bought meals for the behind-the-scenes workers and was an outlier among the “total douches” typically cast for lead roles.

Morgan Freeman and Keanu Reeves on the set of Chain Reaction. (Getty/Murray Close)

Reddit user “bo2dd2” elaborated:

“Every day for the last few weeks of filming, Keanu treated the stage hands and grunt workers (including myself) by taking us out for free breakfast and lunch. He was genuinely a very nice guy to work with.

“Since then, I’ve worked on about 30 different sets and have never met an actor as generous and friendly as him.

“Most actors I’ve seen and worked with are total douches who always think they are better than us. Keanu on the other hand, at the very least, was socially approachable and definitely kindhearted.

“That was one example (that involved me directly), but (on the same set), I remember him going out of his way to give my friend a ride to the repair shop to pick up his car.”

And the stories don’t end there. In the same thread, another Reddit user claims that the actor surprised the entire special effects crew for The Matrix Reloaded with Harley-Davidson motorcycles for Christmas.

In fact, Reeves quietly gave away millions of dollars to the lesser known crew of The Matrix trilogy, with estimates ranging between $75 million to $100 million.

Reeves shares food and drinks with a homeless man while keeping him company. (Facebook)

And these are just stories we know about. There are plenty of people online who are quick to talk about times they witnessed Reeves going out of his way to help those who needed it, including driving a woman home, 50 miles out of his way after her car broke down.

In a world where plenty of awful things happen in the news every day, it’s always wonderful to see someone using their platform and privilege to lift others up with him.

Huge props, Keanu—you kind, shaggy-haired angel. You truly are the chosen one and we can’t wait until you face the music for Bill & Ted’s 3.

Boys Choir Gives Fiery Performance After Eating Ghost Peppers

(YouTube/Chili Klaus)

Beautiful music is known to bring people to tears but that’s not why this choir was weeping during a special Christmas performance.

Chili Klaus, a Danish YouTuber known for eating and sharing the world’s hottest peppers, decided to go back to his roots and visit Denmark’s Herning Boys Choir—but he wasn’t returning empty-handed.

Klaus joins the musical group in singing “O Come, All Ye Faithful,” the first half with an untainted palette, and the second half with over 1 million Scoville units of heat coursing through their veins thanks to Klaus’s ghost peppers, one of the hottest peppers in the world.

There were coughing, tears, and a few clear nonverbal longings for death, but the choir somehow manages to make it through the song alive.

Clearly, not everyone ate their pepper, though, because not everyone was making this face:

(YouTube/Chili Klaus)

Or this one:

(YouTube/Chili Klaus)

Or this one:

(YouTube/Chili Klaus)

But can you really blame them? How can you expect someone to convey such a heavenly song when it feels like actual hell in their mouth?

Chili Klaus has a reputation, not only as a chili pepper connoisseur but as a music lover, too. In fact, his most viewed video of all time features him conducting the Danish National Chamber Orchestra while they endured fiery chilies of their own.

These Charcoal Fart Pads Will Take Care of Intolerable Toots

(Flat-D Innovations)

According to Father’s Day cards, 90% of what a dad does is drink beer, grill, and fart. While that statistic is a probably slight overestimation, a new product was just been released to help nullify the impact of gassy dads everywhere.

Just in time for Father’s Day, the Flatulence Deodorizer is a charcoal-based pad that attaches to the user’s underwear and effectively absorbs the foul-smelling effects of fatherly flatulence.

(Flat-D Innovations)

Flat-D Innovations, the company behind this wonderful fart sponge, boasts that the product is like “wearing activated charcoal underwear but much more economical.”

There are reusable and disposable versions available for purchase, and both are safe to the touch, hypoallergenic, and easily attach to clothing without leaving any pesky residue on your clothes.

According to Flat-D, “activated carbon acts much like a sponge absorbing water, except that the carbon absorbs the gaseous materials at a micro level. Activated charcoal holds onto the material it has absorbs quite well. There is no risk in the environment of usage that an active carbon filter will give up the material it has captured.”

They can be purchased on Amazon or directly from Flat-D’s website, both of which have received positive reviews.

“My first day using it, and it was unbelievable,” a testimonial reads on Flat-D’s webpage. “I’m at work and my colleagues are laughing with me, not running away! I can ride in the car with my family and keep the windows up! It’s absolutely amazing. I’m a new person and can walk free and confident in public now without fear of embarrassment.”

Honestly, spouses might appreciate it even more than the users.

“Makes it possible for me to continue sleeping in the same room with my husband,” an Amazon reviewer wrote. “They work extremely well, but you do have to situate directly up to the bum. They don’t really work if you place between the cheeks and undies.”

You can flatter your favorite farty father this year by picking one up here.

Just a heads up, if you buy stuff using the provided links, The Dad may collect a small commission.

Horror Movie Themed Children’s Birthday Parties are a Scream

Horror Themed Birthday Parties for Children

When it comes to a kid’s birthday, most parents want to give them what they want.

Chocolate cake? No problem.

Bounce house? Let’s do it.

Demonic nun theme? Absolu—wait, what now?

But that’s exactly what a 3-year-old girl named Lucia wanted—a birthday based on the 2018 horror film, The Nun. According to Lucia’s cousin, Andrea, the little girl watched the movie in its entirety at their grandmother’s house and simply couldn’t get enough.

“So it was my cousins 3rd birthday and instead of having a normal theme she chose this,” Andrea wrote.

But the party went on without a hitch! There was an evil nun cake, nun piñata, and everyone even dressed up in creepy nun facepaint.

Plus, Lucia’s party got so much attention, Bonnie Aarons, the actor who plays the nun, got in touch with Lucia’s mom and offered to send her a special gift (Hopefully, it’s not, like, a haunted amulet or anything).

While Lucia doesn’t exactly look happy in the photos (since that would betray her costume), we have to imagine she was thrilled to celebrate her special day exactly how she wanted.

After Andrea’s tweet went viral someone else shared a similar tale with another horror icon as the guest of honor.

Birthday party invites may soon require Motion Picture Association ratings.

Nike’s Special Edition Dad Shoe Will Perfectly Compliment Your Jorts


When talking about dad shoes, Nike’s Air Monarch IVs are always in the running for being the most iconic. Long before the chunky sneaker trend rolled out, many dads were already claiming these bad boys as their shoe of choice.

This year, Nike is honoring fathers and the Air Monarchs by unveiling a special new design just in time for Father’s Day.


As if begging to be paired with a hot pair of jorts, the upper is covered in a light-washed blue denim, and the tan and red accents mean they’ll look fly as hell complimenting some khakis.

And because we know all dads like a little pizzazz (but not for everyone to see), a funky floral pattern is printed on the insoles.


Official release information has yet to be released by Nike, but expect these shoes to sneak their way onto store shelves sometime before Father’s Day (June 16th).

These Air Monarchs will follow up last year’s limited edition Father’s Day release of the M2K Tekno, a unique style of Monarchs inspired by all things camping.

Guy Performs Super Mario Bros. Theme on Credit Card Swipe Machines

(YouTube/Device Orchestra)

When you think about it, everything you hear is technically a musical note. Whether it’s a blaring car horn, the hum of an air conditioning unit, or the clinking of silverware at a dinner party, every tone can be mapped on a musical scale.

This is the logic behind Device Orchestra, a YouTube channel that turns everyday electronics into musical instruments. From razors to printers, this musical genius hacks devices to create vibrations at different frequencies. These varying tones, in turn, create music.

Recently, Device Orchestra used dual credit card swipe machines to perform his first video game theme. You might recognize it.

It’s a little ridiculous how good it is.

Since then, Device Orchestra has recreated a number of other popular songs, including the theme from Tetris with electric toothbrushes:

And the Game of Thrones theme with an entire ensemble of devices:

Someone get this guy into an actual concert hall, stat.

Father and Son’s Hug Proves the French Open Can Be Won With Love


French tennis star Nicolas Mahut may have lost his third round match of the French Open, but he and his son totally won the hearts of everyone worldwide.

Visibly emotional after being eliminated by Argentinean player Leonardo Mayer, the 37-year-old dad collapsed in on the sideline, likely coming to terms with the fact that he probably just played the last singles tournament of his career.

But that’s when Mahut’s seven-year-old son, Natanel, ran across the court to comfort his father with a warm embrace.

The footage has since gone viral and is enough to melt anyone’s heart, even Mahut’s opponent, Mayer, who couldn’t help but get a little misty-eyed.

After the heartfelt embrace, Mahut gathered his gear and walked off the court hand-in-hand with son, all to the sound of a standing ovation.

Folks on Twitter couldn’t help but gush over the exchange.

The only thing better than a family who supports you when you win is a family that supports you when you lose.

Game of Thrones’ Cleganebowl Gets Upgraded with Lightsabers [WATCH]


We all have our own opinions regarding the final season of Game of Thrones, but one scene that seemingly made every single one of us swell up with excitement was the epic showdown between brothers Sandor ‘The Hound’ and Gregor ‘The Mountain’ Clegane—lovingly known as “Cleganebowl.”

It was the brutal fight built up over eight seasons. Two bitter rivals: One who had traveled, fought, and somehow reclaimed his humanity which he had assumed was long lost. The other, well. . . basically, a hulking zombie knight.

But of course, we nerds can’t just be happy with nice things as they are—we have to nerdify them even more. Which is why YouTuber ImmersionVFX decided to make his own edit. . . with lightsabers.

Sure, you could make the case that The Hound should have a different colored blade, but in my opinion, he’s still reppin’ a pretty strong anti-hero status so I think the red still works.

The fight is set to the iconic “Anakin vs. Obi-Wan” music from Revenge of the Sith, another deadly duel between ‘brothers’ that also ended with a certain somebody getting torched by the surrounding flames.

Of course, this isn’t the first Game of Thrones fight edited to feature “an elegant weapon for a more civilized age.” Past sword-turned-lightsaber duels include the fight at the Tower of Joy:

A double-bladed duel between Oberyn Martell and The Mountain (minus the splatteringly brutal ending):

The Battle of the Bastards:

And Arya and Brienne’s duel in the Winterfell courtyard:

Honestly, in a world filled with overpowered weapons like dragons and crossbows that can shoot said Dragons out of the sky from a quarter mile away, a few measly laser swords don’t really seem all that impressive.