Jordan Stratton or something you find in dirty diaper. We aren't sure.

Jordan Stratton

Jordan is one of those guys in his 30s who went to school for a really long time but still has no idea what he wants to do when he grows up. He eats an unhealthy amount of cereal, spends an irrational amount of time on the internet, and would be delighted if you followed him on Twitter.

No-Nonsense Diner Openly Charges Patrons for ‘Stupid Questions’

(Instagram / Russell Lopez)

You’ve heard it plenty of times: “There are no stupid questions.” Well, there’s a Denver-based restaurant that is outright trying to prove that statement wrong.

Reddit user ‘humblemangoes’ recently posted a photo after visiting Tom’s Diner that proves that they are not messing around when it comes to anything less than reasonable questions.

me_irl from r/me_irl

Listed under one side of mashed potatoes and one chicken tender basket was a charge for one stupid question. The internet couldn’t help but take notice of the unique bill, some assuming it simply had to be a hoax, but as it turns out, ‘stupid questions’ are a clear menu item at Tom’s for a mere 38 cents.

“It’s meant to be playful. It’s good to keep things light in today’s world,” Manager Hunter Landry told TODAY Food. “When we have a good fun table that engages with us or when they ask about the charge, it’s always fun to add it on.”

Landry said their prime demographic is, you guessed it… dads. Especially the ones who like to test the limits of what constitutes “stupid.” Some of his favorites have included “Are there any dues for the turkey club sandwich?” and “Does the ice have any water in it?”

 

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Tom’s don’t play.

A post shared by Russell Lopez (@copendejo) on

Tom’s Diner doesn’t draw the line at “stupid questions,” either. Under “healthy options”, you can find “skip your meal” (that’s free) and “walk home” (for “priceless”).

“It’s all about not taking yourself too seriously,” Landry added. “We’re not here for a long time, so let’s enjoy ourselves and try to make the most of this life.”

These Superhero Cooking Accessories Will Make Your Kitchen Marvelous

(Amazon)

There are few things sexier than a man who knows his way around the kitchen. You use the proper cutting technique with that chef’s knife? Oh my. Understand the difference between a saucepan and a saute pan? Impressive! You just cleaned and deboned a bunch of fish for an entire dinner party? Mamma mia!

So, in order to combat all the sexy chef vibes you’re putting out, why not add a little nerd culture to your kitchen? As it turns out, there’s a remarkable amount of awesome Marvel cookware and utensils that will be sure to kill the mood right away – unless, of course, you’re serving a bunch of fellow nerds. No promises, then.

Here are some of our favorites:

Thor Mjolnir Meat Tenderizer

(Amazon)

Before slapping that steak on the grill, maybe consider attacking with the power of Thor. Truly a magical marriage of cooking and comics, this Mjolnir Mallet is perfect for tenderizing pieces of meat with its silicone grip handle and double-sided stainless steel metal head.

Beef, chicken, poultry, or pork – nothing stands a chance when you’re tenderizing like a god! Summon yours today from Amazon for $24.99.

Marvel Avengers Captain America Shield Cutting Board

(Amazon)

Need a cutting board that will withstand anything you throw at it (or cut on it)? One made of vibranium would probably do the trick.

This patriotic cutting board is odor and stain-resistant, heat resistant up to 350 degrees F, and features non-slip feet, so it’s not going anywhere unless you heroically throw it yourself. Pick one up for yourself on Amazon for $22.99.

Infinity Gauntlet Silicone Oven Glove

(Amazon)

A powerful accessory that makes handling hot pots and pans a “snap,” this Infinity Gauntlet oven mitt is made from food-grade, flexible, heat resistant silicone that can withstand temperatures up to 445 degrees F.

Slip this bad boy on and you’ll be ready to reign over the entire universe with an iron fist… or at the very least, hold hot stuff. Grab yours today from Amazon for $19.99.

X-Men Wolverine ‘Corn on the Claws’ Cob Holders

(Gamestop)

While grilling out is clearly all about the meat (as it should be), it’s polite to at least offer your guests a vegetable of some kind. So, what better way to spice up those boring old cobs of corn than with some adamantium claws?

The “Corn on the Claws” X-Men Wolverine cob holders⁠—a Think Geek / Gamestop exclusive⁠—come in a set of four pairs and definitely aren’t toy, despite their kickass appearance. They are expected to start shipping January 29th and you can pre-order right here for only $9.99 while they last.

Super Nintendo World Theme Park Will Bring Video Game Mechanics to Life

Super Nintendo World
(Universal Parks & Resorts)

Universal Studios in Japan is remarkably close to opening Super Nintendo World to the masses and it’s shaping up to be a huge attraction for video game fanatics and casuals alike. The park is expected to open Spring 2020, just ahead of the Summer Olympics in Tokyo.

Nintendo released a promotional music video trailer for the park at a press event in Japan, which provided a sneak peek of the unique park features and appearance.

While obviously not a literal overview of the park (considering everyone is basically avoiding instant death the entire time), the video provides us with a good look at the Mario-themed smart wristbands and accompanying phone app which make the park truly special.

Tokyo-based Bloomberg reporter Kurumi Mori was in attendance at the live press event, during which she tweeted about the ‘Power Up Bands’, which will ‘make you feel like you’re part of the game world’.

The bands are the primary method for “gamifying” the park, allowing visitors to collect digital coins and compete against other park-goers for high scores.

Chief creative officer of Universal Creative, Thierry Coup, described Super Nintendo World as a ‘life-size, living video game’. Hopefully, that doesn’t include risking our lives at every possible moment like our favorite overalled plumber.

Construction on the park began in Fall 2018 but it wasn’t until late 2019 that people began to see signs of life in the upcoming area.

As previously stated by Universal Parks & Resorts CEO Tom Williams, the park will include two rides at launch: a Mario Kart ride and a Yoshi’s Adventure ride. These will accompany the castle areas belonging to Bowser and Peach respectively as part of the ‘first phase of the park.’

“It’s the best, and we’ve tested them all, and they’re killers. It’s a great lineup,” Williams commented, excitedly. “It takes it to the whole next level. It’s gonna redefine what a park experience is like. It really is special.”

“You will be able to go up and keep score and play with the various games and that also translates to a score-keeping capability, if you choose to do so within the rides and it actually interfaces back with your game console.”

Super Nintendo World is clearly going to be unlike other theme park attractions, and while there are no definitive plans for expanding to other Universal parks yet, its success will most likely lead to some Super additions elsewhere.

Star Wars Fan Trailer Casts Keanu as a Famous Jedi and It Totally Works

Keanu as Revan
(YouTube / Stryder HD)

We all know by now that Keanu Reeves can do no wrong. He’s a gem of a human being and an amazing talent on top of it all, but is he ready to take the reigns in a starring role that takes place in a galaxy far, far away?

Among rumors about another Star Wars trilogy in the works – this time, taking place in the “High Republic Era” – YouTuber and mashup editor Stryder HD put together a fan trailer for Star Wars: The Old Republic.

Supposedly taking place some four thousand years before the destruction of the first Death Star, Reeves would star as the Jedi turned Sith General, Revan, from the Knights of the Old Republic RPG.

Stryder compiled his trailer from a number of fan films, trailers, and other non-Star Wars footage to give the trailer its own feel and energy, specifically avoiding clips from actual Star Wars films since they would probably stick out like a sore thumb.

According to Star Wars Legends continuity, Revan garnered acclaim as a general during the Mandalorian Wars, so the shots from The Mandalorian are clearly a representation of that conflict. The clips of Reeves himself come from the 2013 fantasy action flick 47 Ronin, with superimposed lightsaber effects added to various katanas and a voiceover that now appears to reference the fight between Jedi and Sith factions rather than warring Japanese clans.

The KOTOR version of Revan was thought to have been relegated to Legends canon after Disney’s acquisition of Lucasfilm, but fans were overjoyed when his name was referenced in production of The Rise of Skywalker. According to the film’s accompanying Visual Dictionary, various legions of Palpatine’s Sith Troopers were named after ancient Sith Lords – one of which being “The 3rd: Revan Legion,” thereby re-canonizing the popular character, at least in name.

In light of the polarizing sequel trilogy, would you be eager to see a Revan film come to light? Would Keanu be a good fit for the role?

Jar Jar Binks Voiced by ‘Morgan Freeman’ Is a Stellar Improvement

Morgan Freeman Voices Jar Jar Binks
(20th Century Fox & Getty / Fotos International)

It’s always exciting when you pair two things together and get something magical – peanut butter and jelly, burgers and fries, macaroni and cheese.

But what happens when you combine one of the most famous voices in Hollywood with one of the most infamous?

Comedian Josh Robert Thompson is known for his eerily good Morgan Freeman impression, so when he appeared on Schmoedown Entertainment Network, he was asked to explore the weird parallel universe in which the king of narration himself voiced Jar Jar Binks. The results are magical.

SEN creator Kristian Harloff tweeted out the clip along with his wish to see an actual Freeman-voiced Jar Jar onscreen, and one of his followers actually came through!

Twitter user Crushed Souls dubbed Jar Jar footage from The Phantom Menace with Thompson’s impression and, to absolutely no one’s surprise, it’s an improvement compared to the source material.

Now, if only George Lucas could re-release the prequels with a proper change like this instead of altering things no one asked for.

Heavy Metal Cover of ‘Toss a Coin To Your Witcher’ Is Headbangingly Good

Toss a Coin to Your Witcher Metal Version
(YouTube/Dan Vasc)

Netflix has been churning out tons of original content for nearly a decade now – not all of it great – but when a show or movie hits, it hits.

One of the latest successes has been their adaptation of the wildly popular book and video game series, The Witcher. And while it touts a world-class cast and solid writing, one of the surprising standouts from the series has been the incredibly catchy “Toss A Coin To Your Witcher” song which debuted in the second episode.

It’s gotten so popular, in fact, that fans have begun performing their own covers of the song. One specific rendition has started gaining acclaim for ditching the lute in favor of distortion pedals for a heavy metal version of the song and it’s, frankly, too good.

The cover is by YouTube Brazilian rock and metal singer Dan Vasc and the gruff, metal vibe works surprisingly well.

Vasc has been covering songs on YouTube for nearly a decade, most of them being other rock and metal titles with his added personal flair, and his impressive range and vocals are enough to garner respect from any self-respecting metalhead.

“My favorite music styles are rock, metal and its sub-genres, especially power metal,” Vasc wrote on his YouTube channel. “But you will occasionally see here also other styles like Broadway musicals and classical opera, which I enjoy to sing as well.”

With the undeniable success of this cover though (which has already been viewed an astounding 3.5 million times – by far his most popular), he’s likely considering more video game covers in the future.

Hell, I could listen to this guy sing the melody to Tetris on a loop.

Segway Is Rolling out a Self-Balancing Stroller for Adults

Adult Stroller Segway
(Segway-Ninebot)

Look, it’s bound to happen. You’re out walking with your stroller with your little nugget wrapped up in blankets and sound asleep in their four-wheeled, parent-powered vehicle, and you’re overwhelmed with the weirdest feeling: Envy.

You work hard. You put food on the table. You keep a small human alive with little to no return. Why can’t YOU have your own comfortable stroller?

Well, the folks over at Segway-Ninebot have heard your weird jealous pleas and are ready to provide you with the rolling comfort vehicle you deserve with zero exertion. It’s called the ‘S-Pod personal transporter.’ All you’ll have to worry about is figuring out how to swaddle yourself before hopping in.

(Segway-Ninebot)

Just like a standard Segway, this bad boy self-balances on two wheels (with a third wheel added to make boarding a bit more stable) and features a navigation panel and manually operated control knob which causes the vehicle itself to shift its center of gravity back and forth.

Unlike a typical stroller, the S-Pod can reach speeds of 25 miles per hour and has an anticipated range of almost 44 miles, though, that’s highly dependent on terrain, conditions, rider weight, and speed.

I know some of you are probably warming up your typing fingers to comment that ‘it’s just a fancy wheelchair,’ but Segway is in no way positioning the S-Pod as a wheelchair replacement. The device is completely dependent on power in order to move and self-manage, and the last thing you’d want is to suddenly be stranded in the middle of nowhere with a big hunk of useless, wobbly equipment.

Unfortunately, the S-Pod is still just a concept at Segway-Ninebot so it won’t be up for sale anytime soon, but if you were at CES this year, you might have spotted it rolling around on the show floor.

Sure, the S-Pod looks remarkably like the main means of transportation for a supervillain or like the hover chairs for the obese human civilization in Wall-E, but compared to walking, are either of those really so bad?

Artistic Husband and Wife Illustrate Life as New Parents

(jude_devir)

Welcoming your first child into your life is a wonderful, difficult, and absolutely life-altering experience, and in the days of social media, few parents have to be reminded to document their growing baby day-by-day. Instead of photos, though, one couple has been recording their wide array of new experiences with gorgeous and highly relatable comics.

Yehuda and Maya Devir, the artists behind the popular “One of Those Days” series, finally welcomed their first child into their life in April 2019 after facing difficulties in getting pregnant (which they also documented). Little Ariel, who Yehuda call Yehuda called his daughter “the most hilarious and adorable creature [he’s] ever seen,” is clearly having a massive impact on their lives (no surprise).

(jude_devir)

“She is a very easygoing girl and happy all the time,” he told HuffPost. “She certainly sets a high standard for her siblings to follow.”

Despite their overwhelming love for their daughter, the Tel Aviv-based couple definitely recognizes the difficulties a new child brings and the shifting dynamic of their relationship as a result.

(jude_devir)

“Of course, there is less time to be with each other alone, and our attention needs to be shared between three people now, while also running a business,” Yehuda continued. “It is very complex, but we are still getting used to the changes.”

 

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It’s OK It’s okay when she cries in your hands It’s okay that she only wants her mom It’s okay that you can’t put her to sleep It’s okay that you still don’t understand your status It’s okay that you don’t have that connection, that everybody is talking about It’s okay that you still don’t understand your job definition It’s okay that you don’t make her laugh It’s okay that you’re tired It’s okay that you’re angry It’s okay that things don’t work out for you It’s okay to ask for a hug It’s okay to share your partner with everything you go through, even if it doesn’t seem so manly It’s okay that your life has changed It’s okay that your plans have been canceled It’s okay that you have no time for anything It’s okay to feel weak It’s okay to be moody It’s okay to feel lonely It’s okay to ask for help It’s OK… Shop: www.yehudadevir.com Support us: www.patreon.com/yehudadevir #judedevir #mayadevir #arieldevir #oneofthosedays #ilovemyfamily

A post shared by YEHUDA DeVIR OFFICIAL (@jude_devir) on

In an Instagram post back in August, Yehuda posted a comic titled “It’s OK” where he revealed some of the emotional hardships and concerns that accompany fatherhood:

It’s okay when she cries in your hands
It’s okay that she only wants her mom
It’s okay that you can’t put her to sleep
It’s okay that you still don’t understand your status
It’s okay that you don’t have that connection, that everybody is talking about
It’s okay that you still don’t understand your job definition
It’s okay that you don’t make her laugh
It’s okay that you’re tired
It’s okay that you’re angry
It’s okay that things don’t work out for you
It’s okay to ask for a hug
It’s okay to share your partner with everything you go through, even if it doesn’t seem so manly
It’s okay that your life has changed
It’s okay that your plans have been canceled
It’s okay that you have no time for anything
It’s okay to feel weak
It’s okay to be moody
It’s okay to feel lonely
It’s okay to ask for help
It’s OK…

Fortunately, while Ariel is definitely the main focus of their attention, she also provides tons of creative inspiration for their art.

(jude_devir)

“Our comics are based on our real life, so she’s certainly added quite a bit of interest,” Yehuda said. “We just have to extend the day by a few hours so we have time to be with her as well as create.”

Check out some of our favorite pieces from these artistic new parents below. Also, you can follow them on their website, Facebook, or Patreon.

(jude_devir)
(jude_devir)
(jude_devir)
(jude_devir)
(jude_devir)

 

These CVS Receipt Scarves Are Only Slightly Longer Than the Real Things

CVS Receipt Scarf
(Etsy / ReceiptScarves)

Making fun of CVS for their ridiculously lengthy receipts isn’t exactly a new joke, but someone has finally taken things to the next level by transforming the seemingly miles-long proof of purchase into tasteful winter garb.

“We all know how long CVS receipts are, now you can look like you’re wearing one while simultaneously staying warm with its extremely soft material.,” reads the Amazon description for the receipt scarves.

(Etsy / ReceiptScarves)

Coming in at a whopping 59 inches, the scarf is probably only a tad longer than the actual pharmacy receipts but it’s definitely going to keep you warmer, touting a “Fleece material” that is “SUPER soft, comfortable, and warm.”

The text-covered scarves are already considered a best-seller on Etsy, though, folks online are definitely talking more about the creativity and novelty behind them than their actual comfort level.

“Super duper cool! I wish it was a bit thinner to look more like a receipt but the quality is perfect and it’s a hilarious gift for any occasion. I definitely recommend it,” one reviewer wrote.

Interestingly, several buyers commented on the surprising thinness of the material, but we’re not sure what they were expecting considering they purchased something based on a long, thin sheet of paper.

(Etsy / ReceiptScarves)

The jury’s still out on whether or not the scarves can function as a perfect window blind like a standard CVS receipt, but if you’d like to test it out for yourself, pick up your own scarf here for $20.

Just a heads up, if you buy stuff using the provided links, The Dad may collect a small commission.

Police Remember and Mourn the Loss of Doughnut Truck One Year Later

Police Mourn Loss of Donut Truck
(Facebook / Lexington Police Department)

It’s important to remember and honor tragedies that occur in our communities. We are stronger and more resilient because of them.

So, it’s no surprise that the police department in Lexington, KY took the time on December 31 to remember fallen comrades who were lost exactly one year earlier. The little glazed angels might have been hot, but they weren’t ready for something like this.

“Counseling is available,” someone wrote on Facebook after the Police Department released footage of the Krispy Kreme disaster. “Don’t carry this inside of you.”

Clearly still a vivid memory for the valiant officers on the scene that fateful New Year’s Eve, they ended up receiving national attention for their heroism and grace under pressure.

Multiple news outlets ran the story, sympathizing with the catastrophic loss and the brave boys in blue who had to shoulder it.

Paul Mullins, an Indiana University-Purdue University professor of anthropology and author of “Glazed America: A History of the Doughnut,” told Time magazine that police aren’t allowed to accept gifts while on duty, so it makes sense they would spend their money on a relatively inexpensive snack like doughnuts.

So next time you’re enjoying a nice glazed or sprinkled concoction, remember the men and women who keep us safe and the sacrifices they have to endure.

Guy Builds Mario Bros. Guitar out of 10,000 Popsicle Sticks

Guy Builds Mario Bros. Guitar out of 10,000 Popsicle Sticks
(YouTube / Cranmer Guitars)

Being able to play an instrument is impressive. Building your own instrument is incredible. Building one out of thousands of dyed popsicle sticks to make a scene from Super Mario World is just absurd.

Isaac, of Cranmer Guitars in Glasgow, was inspired by a trend going around on YouTube and spent several months cutting, sanding, coloring, and gluing tiny individual pieces of wood together to create a stunning electric guitar that’s an honest-to-God work of art.

“The project took around 7 months – or roughly 800 hours – to complete,” Isaac told Newsflare regarding the project. “I decided on popsicle sticks as it could be manipulated in various ways to give very different results. Each stick would be able to give me 4 pixels, which could be used for the body.”

An astounding 29,000 pixels were required for the entire instrument.

“They were then dyed in a custom vacuum chamber, glued into blocks of 100 and finally the whole body could be glued together. The neck, fingerboard, and headstock were also made up of popsicle sticks,” Isaac stated.

(Reddit / u/CranmerGuitars)

In the end, the guitar depicts both Mario and Luigi facing Bowser’s baddies above ground and underwater. The neck features King Koopa himself and the headstock prominently displays Princess Peach – truly a “Super Guitario.”

We Found a Free Baby Yoda Coloring Book – You’re Welcome

Free Baby Yoda Coloring Book
(Vulture / Martin Gee)

Baby Yoda has effectively taken over the world with his big adorable eyes, tri-fingered hands, and uncontrolled force powers, so it’s a bit surprising that Disney has yet to release any official merch featuring the little green fella.

Thankfully, artists around the world are filling that void with their own BaYo creations and some of them are pretty damn great.

One that we found particularly adorable was a coloring book called “This is the Way,” illustrated by Martin Gee at the request of Vulture. Inspired by some of his most popular scenes in The Mandalorian, this Baby Yoda is ready to be colored and brought to life in all of his cartoonish glory. Plus, it’s free!

(Vulture / Martin Gee)

You can find him doing all of the most iconic Baby Yoda activities, like harnessing the power of the Force:

(Vulture / Martin Gee)

Sipping on that meme-able bone broth:

(Vulture / Martin Gee)

Forcing an entire live space frog down his gullet:

(Vulture / Martin Gee)

Attempting to consume knobs and levers in Mando’s ship:

(Vulture / Martin Gee)

Testing out his adorable resting bitch face:

(Vulture / Martin Gee)

And, of course, just hanging out with his best pal:

(Vulture / Martin Gee)

If you want to grab all of the printable PDFs for yourself, you can get them here. Hopefully, it makes the long wait for season two a little more manageable.

New Star Wars Movie Trilogy Set in ‘High Republic Era’

Star Wars Old Republic
(Star Wars: The Old Republic (Electronic Arts, BioWare, Bioware Austin LLC))

With the Skywalker saga is effectively over, Disney is sure to let the beloved and controversial Star Wars movie franchise come to a peaceful conclusion.

Ok, now that you’re finished laughing…

The Rise of Skywalker is still in theaters and talk of a new Star Wars trilogy is already bubbling to the surface. While the details are still few and far between, we know that it will reportedly take place hundreds of years before Anakin or Luke ever trained with a lightsaber.

Set in the ‘High Republic Era,’ roughly 400 years before the first Death Star’s destruction, the new trilogy will focus on conflicts in a time when the Sith were already thought to be extinct and the Jedi were truly in their heyday. We might even get a glimpse of a middle-aged Yoda, who will be a spry 500-years-old.

Lucasfilm has already nailed down release dates for 2022, 2024, and 2026, though, it should be noted that none of this has been officially confirmed by Disney at this time.

This time period is relatively unexplored in regards to both ‘Legends’ and standard Star Wars canon. It takes place after Darth Bane’s ‘Rule of Two’ but will likely focus on a new type of villain since the Sith were still in hiding, growing in power. It’s fertile soil for a new array of heroes, too, but clearly a gamble on Disney’s part to stray from what typical fans know and love.

Game of Thrones showrunners D.B. Weiss and David Benioff were originally in talks to write and direct the new trilogy, but they have since parted ways with Lucasfilm in order to pursue a $200 million dollar multiyear film and TV deal with Netflix.

Thankfully, we won’t totally be leaving the current Star Wars era anytime soon with The Mandalorian being met with remarkable acclaim and the Obi-Wan Kenobi series starring Ewan McGregor right around the corner. We’re clearly in the golden age of being a Star Wars fan. Now, let’s just hope no one starts writing about midi-chlorians again.