Jordan Stratton or something you find in dirty diaper. We aren't sure.

Jordan Stratton

Jordan is one of those guys in his late 20s with a master's degree and no idea what he wants to do with his life. He eats an unhealthy amount of cereal, spends an irrational amount of time on the internet, and would be delighted if you followed him on Twitter.

Cheers! Dad Delivers His Baby in a Pub

(BBC)

How do you make happy hour even happier? How about becoming a new father?

The Perch and Pike pub in Oxfordshire, UK got a little more excitement than they’re used to when a man was forced to help his wife deliver their child when they realized they weren’t going to make it to the hospital in time.

“I ran the hospital bag out to the car, then came back upstairs to get Sofie and said, ‘Right, we’re going to go,’” Simon Duffy, the pub landlord, described the event to BBC. “And she said, ‘Oh I don’t think there’s going to be time, I can feel the baby coming now.’”

Thinking fast, Simon called 999 (the emergency number in the UK) in hopes of getting assistance from paramedics. “I just assumed the ambulance would turn up and they would take over the delivery of the baby,” Simon chuckled. “But there wasn’t even time for that!”

Fortunately, Simon connected with Dawn, a level-headed 999 operator, who was able to walk him through the unforgettable procedure of bringing his healthy baby girl, Chloe, into the world himself.

Thanks to the publicity of the rare event, Dawn even got to meet the little girl she helped deliver. “A lot of the time, once the call’s finished, we don’t get much of an update,” she told BBC. “So it’s really nice to see what’s happened and see the baby that I helped bring into the world.”

Welcome to the club, Simon! The next time we see you in a bar (and you aren’t delivering a child), the first round’s on us!

New Testicle Cooler Fights Infertility by Keeping Your Boys Brisk

Testicle Cooling Device
(YouTube/CoolMen)

To be clear, male infertility is no laughing matter. However, it’s hard to stifle one’s giggles when reading about the newest device designed to help guys stop shooting blanks.

A team of scientists in Poland has fashioned a smart little doo-dad for your doo-dads that is scheduled for release later this year, appropriately called “CoolMen.”

What’s basically a portable cooler for your downstairs boys, CoolMen is designed to combat one of the leading causes of male infertility: low sperm quality and sperm production associated with elevated testicular temperature.

Sure, hooking something up to your huevos and then connecting that to a battery is a bit disconcerting at first, but this is your family legacy we’re talking about.

Research shows that optimal sperm production occurs 2-4 degrees Fahrenheit (°F) lower than one’s body temperature, and this silicone pouch keeps everything comfortable and regulated down there.

(YouTube/CoolMen)

And of course there’s an app for that, so you can monitor the temperature of your teabag.

Plus, think about how handy this bad boy would be after your kids accidentally knock you in the nads. Pass on the frozen peas and strap your swollen spuds into your fancy new polar pouch instead.

The CoolMen is expected to run between $300 and $400 and the “non-invasive” device should be worn for 12-16 hours for up 3-4 weeks for best results.

Dad Sets World Record Pushing Double Stroller in Half Marathon

(Fox 2 St. Louis)

Running a half marathon is no small feat, but doing it all while pushing a stroller just seems downright crazy.

Father of two and possible superhero, Ben Hudson, recently ran the Go St. Louis 13.1-mile race all while pushing his girls, Eleanor and Abigail, in a double stroller.


As you might imagine, strollers aren’t optimal distance race equipment, and as such, they aren’t usually allowed for this race. Hudson, however, smoothed things over with the Go St. Louis race coordinators beforehand because he was competing for something truly special: a world record.

Training for months with the girls, Hudson said it was not unlike running several miles with a 70 lb. shopping cart—flat surfaces weren’t too bad but getting up and over hills really tested his perseverance.

“I would just talk to them during the race and tell them how great they were doing,” Hudson said.

And, in the end, the family crushed their goal with a time of 1:16:06.

This means the Hudson’s gets three 13.1 stickers for their car, right?

Be Vigilant Avengers Fans, Leaked Endgame Footage Is Spreading [SPOILER-FREE]

(Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures)

It’s just over a week until the climactic release of Avengers: Endgame, and while most of us or waiting in earnest, watching every single trailer and piece of promotional footage we can get our grubby little hands on, BEWARE:

A massive leak is making its rounds on the internet, spoiling critical moments from the film.

Apparently, someone who was lucky enough to attend an advanced screening recorded and uploaded key footage that will Hulk-smash anyone’s hopes for a spoiler-free experience—and because the internet is the internet, people are sharing it like a virus.


According to Charles Pulliam-Moore at io9, “The footage, which we won’t describe here, is particularly spoiler heavy, subtitled in Arabic, and appears to have been recorded during a screening of the film judging from the theatre seats visible in the frame.”

The leak is so noteworthy and rampant, in fact, that Russo Brothers penned a letter, pleading for people to resist being frickin’ jerks by spoiling it (my words, not theirs).


So, if you—like me—desperately want a fresh screening of the film, with no unintended information eating away at your nerdy little soul, we’d recommend keeping your time on the internet to a minimum, especially on social media sites.

Actually, a member of The Dad’s writing team was a recent casualty of the leaks (RIP, Jimmy).

He wrote:

“These spoilers are sneaky, they come in multiple forms: images, animated gifs, or just straight-up text. The one that I saw was in a Facebook comment thread – it was an image that looked like a meme, a headline with several panels of screenshots. By the time I figured out what it was, it was too late – a pivotal scene had been spoiled. And it was posted in the comments section of a completely unrelated post.”

Twitter and Reddit also appear to be major targets where people are dropping the footage so scroll with care.

We were days away, you guys. Days away.

This is why we can’t have nice things.

“10k Likes and I’ll Get a The Dad Tattoo” 12 Minutes Later He Had 10k Likes

(Instagram/The Dad)

One of the most important parts of being a dad is following through when you say you’re going to do something. Nick Fabiano, studio head and director of the great videos you see from The Dad, made a bold promise to our followers last week and you better believe he made good on it.

“In the early days when we started The Dad, I often made the joke that I live ‘The Dad’ life so much that I would/should get the logo tattooed and it would show how dedicated I was to the job, both at The Dad and as a dad,” Nick said.

“We had a big milestone happen recently (hitting 1 million on IG) and figured what better time to remind our community that we are hearing them than now. . . and by posting a photo of me holding a sign that says, ‘If this post gets 10,000 likes I’ll get (The Dad logo) tattooed on me.'”

(Instagram/The Dad)

Needless to say, people were on board. Not only did you guys push the post to the necessary 10k likes, but you did it frighteningly fast.

“I underestimated the power of The Dad community,” Nick said, in retrospect.


Yup—12 minutes later, Nick’s fate was sealed. He initially commented that the tattoo would be relatively small, but considering the post has now garnered over 97,000 likes, he decided to upgrade the art piece.

Nicky promptly hopped in the tattooist’s chair and ordered one proud The Dad sigil—3 inches by 3 inches—to permanently stain his bicep.

“I have a bunch of tattoos, so I wasn’t super surprised by the feel of the needle,” he said. “But we decided to film the whole thing, which was funny. It was like having five of your friends and colleagues watch you get minor surgery, and film it, but it wasn’t minor surgery… it was a permanent scar in the shape of our brand logo.”

Despite a few comments asking how he could go through with something like this, Nick claims that his newest tattoo is easily one of his new favorites.

“Besides the ones I have of my wife and kids (and dog), this is the masterpiece,” he said. “[I’m] probably prouder than I should admit.”


Tattoos can definitely be regrettable or embarrassing, but it’s easy to see why Nick is proud to wear this one. Not only does it symbolize a brand that he has been instrumental in cultivating, but it ultimately represents his greatest role of all time: that of a father.

“We are premiering our new variety talk show called The Dad Club in a few weeks,” Nick said, “and we will be showing the tat being inked in the cold open of the first episode and may even use it as part of the title sequence.”

And make sure you stay tuned in when the show goes live. Nick hinted at other inking opportunities that might be right around the corner.

“Maybe I’ll have the viewers vote on what I get tattooed next!”

 

Dad’s Obituary Reveals He Was Spider-Man, Asks Son to Avenge His Death

(IG/noraborealis)

Most obituaries are carefully-worded and concise announcements of someone’s passing, providing a brief description of the individual and any loved ones left behind.

Aaron Joseph Purmont, however, decided that he would rebel against the traditional obituary style and pen something a little different for himself while he battled against cancer. The result, which was published Sunday, Nov. 30 in the Star Tribune, has gone viral.

In a shocking reveal, the art director-by-day proclaimed that he was secretly Spider-Man and then tasked his young son, Ralphie, to avenge his father’s death against cancer.

His obituary read:

“Purmort, Aaron Joseph age 35, died peacefully at home on November 25 after complications from a radioactive spider bite that led to years of crime-fighting and a years’ long battle with a nefarious criminal named Cancer, who has plagued our society for far too long. Civilians will recognize him best as Spider-Man, and thank him for his many years of service protecting our city. His family knew him only as a kind and mild-mannered Art Director, a designer of websites and t-shirts, and concert posters who always had the right cardigan and the right thing to say (even if it was wildly inappropriate).”

(Lindsay May Photography)

Aaron was wired as a creator and storyteller and always had a passion for comic books, so claiming the mantle of Spider-Man only made sense.

His obituary continues:

“Aaron was known for his long, entertaining stories, which he loved to repeat often, in high school, he was in the band The Asparagus Children, which reached critical acclaim in the northern suburbs. As an adult, he graduated from the College of Visual Arts (which also died an untimely death recently) and worked in several agencies around Minneapolis, settling in as an Interactive Associate Creative Director at Colle + McVoy. Aaron was a comic book aficionado, a pop-culture encyclopedia and always the most fun person at any party.”

(Kelly Gritzmacher)

The post concludes with a list of Aaron’s loved ones and family—some real, some probably not.

“He is survived by his parents Bill and Kim Kuhlmeyer, father Mark Purmort (Patricia, Autumn, Aly), sisters Erika and Nicole, first wife Gwen Stefani, current wife Nora and their son Ralph, who will grow up to avenge his father’s untimely death.”

(Kelly Gritzmacher)

Aaron’s wife, Nora, started a Tumblr site during her husband’s battle with cancer and she wrote about the unique experience of teaming up with her husband to write his obituary.

“I’ve never laughed and cried more in one sitting, but I’m so glad we got to do this. I love this man so damn much.”

Aaron may physically be gone now, but thanks to his foresight and creative mind, he was able to leave his family with one final gift to bring them joy.

“The story is that Aaron was so good at life that other people are learning how to do life better,” said Nora. “Freak out less. Stop caring about stupid things and just like have more fun. We had so much fun.”

‘Dancing Doc’ Helps Pediatric Patients Find Their Groove [WATCH]

(Instagram/t_malone3)

It’s a parent’s worst nightmare to hear your child diagnosed with a serious illness. Upon receiving such terrible news, it’s easy for a family to fall into a downward spiral.

After seeing this depressive pattern, again and again, Tony Adkins, who works as a neurosurgery physician assistant at the Children’s Hospital of Orange County (CHOC), decided to try a new tactic that wasn’t included in his medical textbooks.

While laughter might not always be the best medicine, Adkins recognizes that a genuine and joyful human connection can make a serious difference to someone who is struggling.

“It all started with just one patient that had leukemia and was in depression so I just started dancing with them and then, from there, it just kind of kept going,” Adkins said in an interview with ABC News.

Adkins has become so popular for his unorthodox medical approach that patients have begun requesting him specifically.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Tony Adkins PA “Dancing Doc” (@t_malone3) on

“I recently had a patient who was reluctant to get out of bed after surgery, but when I came in one morning to see him, an invitation to dance got him out of bed and moving,” Adkins told the Daily Mail. “After we finished dancing, he kept going and starting doing laps around the hospital floor—it was awesome to see.”

Dr. Michael Muhonen, director of neurosurgery at CHOC, explained how Adkins’ moves can literally distract children from the disease and discomfort.

“It’s like giving that patient a shot of morphine to relieve pain,” he said.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Tony Adkins PA “Dancing Doc” (@t_malone3) on

In fact, according to Adkins, his musical interventions are based on actual medical research.

“Studies show that when people laugh, smile and become more interactive, the effect on the brain is more powerful than some pain medications,” he said. “It has a clinical value as it allows me to assess a patient’s physical abilities, mobility and recovery process.”

“Nothing is more important than the health of a child,” he added. “And I am so lucky to play an integral role in that.”

Father and Son Create Massive and Highly Detailed Custom LEGO Submarine

(Imgur/lifer78)

The best part about creating a LEGO MOC (My Own Creation) is, if a skilled builder is at the helm of its creation, the final product can be just as impressive as any licensed set and costs a fraction of the amount.

A perfect example comes of such a design from Imgur user lifer78, who has been working alongside his son for nearly two years creating a custom submarine that’s not only one of the biggest LEGO models we’ve ever seen but has some serious functionality under the hood, too.

(Imgur/lifer78)

(Imgur/lifer78)

Starting with a WWII style turret on top, the vehicle also features a sonar bubble and functional torpedo bay doors.

Dad thought some of these features were a bit antiquated, but his now 7-year-old son has gotten accustomed to them so they remain.

(Imgur/lifer78)

According to Lifer78, what started as “a peaceful discovery vessel” has now been converted into an ICBM-carrying nuclear vessel, with room for four nuclear missiles.

Removing the top section of the sub reveals just how much detail and love has been pumped into this bad boy over the years.

(Imgur/lifer78)

The bridge and torpedo bay sit close to one another, each room seemingly alive with activity.

Lifer78 says his son loves working on the interior layout of the vessel. His specialty is constructing various computer terminals, seats, and other mechanisms.

(Imgur/lifer78)
(Imgur/lifer78)

The LEGO battery housed in its own compartment (due to its relatively immense size) and powers the fully functional propulsion system!

Lifer78 wrote that the system “was shamelessly stolen from the Russian Typhoon class namely the unfortunate Kursk.”

(Imgur/lifer78)

The amount of detail that goes into a project like this is breath-taking, but even more impressive is how well this dad/son duo have performed in their LEGO alliance. Using dad’s knowledge of sea-faring vessels and his son’s keen attention to detail, they’ve created something objectively special and truly unique.

Make sure to check out the full thread on Imgur. It features a ton of other pictures and commentary about the entire process.

Well done, fellas. We honestly can’t wait to see what you create next!

Britain’s Got Talent Contestant Hand-Farts His Way to Fame With Classic Songs [WATCH]

(YouTube/Britain's Got Talent)

If you’ve ever complained that the internet is just a stupid construct designed to waste your time with hours of meaningless content, then have we got a video for you.

Britain’s Got Talent often features incredible and death-defying triumphs of the human condition, but few compare to one recent performance that left the crowd stunned.

Guy First, the fart artist (or “fartist,” as we prefer to call him, for obvious reasons), can not only create crystal clear flatulence impressions with his hands, but performs near-pitch perfect renditions of classic popular songs including ‘Ghostbusters’ and ‘Eye Of The Tiger’.

The sheer combination of musical talent, facial expressions, and pure, unadulterated sass was enough to earn him a standing ovation from the crowd and even a rare chuckle from typically stoic Simon Cowell.

“I go fart by fart,” First said in a radio interview about his mindset while performing.

After such a ripping performance and four clear ‘yeses’ from the judges, this surely won’t be the last time we hear from this musical toot wizard.

James Corden Forced Writer to Binge 7 Seasons of GoT for a 4 Min Series Recap [WATCH]

Corden Recaps GoT
(YouTube/The Late Late Show with James Corden)

Unless you live under a rock that doesn’t include an HBO Go password, you know that winter is coming this weekend.

The final season of Game of Thrones—one of the most highly anticipated premieres in history—is finally here and people are frickin’ amped.

There’s probably a few unfortunate folks out there who still haven’t watched the series though, so James Corden decided to do a little recap.

Yes, he reviewed the entire series. . . in four minutes. . . and it rhymes.

(Heads up for spoilers, obviously)

Whew, even I’m exhausted after that.

Following the rhythmic recap, Corden recognized The Late Late Show writer Lawrence Dai, who is known for putting together impressive summaries like this one. But there was a problem.

“We asked Lawrence if he would write a recap of this, and he told us he has never seen a single episode of Game of Thrones,” explained Corden.

So, rather than simply task someone who’s actually seen the show to write the segment, they locked their guy in a room for an insane crash course in the fantasy pop culture phenomenon.

Lawrence films mini reviews after many of the episodes, which lets those of us who are longtime fans relive some of the amazing and harrowing moments that comprise the epic series. These include, “Joffrey kinda sucks, but I did get to see Aquaman’s butt, so that’s cool.”

Well said, Lawrence. We remember. That was cool.

The montage over the 67-episode binge continues with Lawrence eating copious amounts of takeout, getting an IV to replenish his fluids, and even grabbing a quick snooze break with his mom.

Near the end, he comments that he’s “so delirious” that he was hallucinating that Sheeran was on the show.

(YouTube/The Late Late Show with James Corden)

At the conclusion of Season 7, sitting atop a homemade “Iron Throne” built from a pizza box and various snack food containers, Lawrence’s watch finally came to an end.

“I just watched 67 episodes of Game of Thrones in one sitting. I have never felt more accomplished and more worthless at the same time.”

Welcome to the club, Lawrence. Valar Morghulis.

Actors Choreograph Moves During the Making of the Original Mortal Kombat [WATCH]

(Imgur/JustGreatGIFs)

At the time, Mortal Kombat was a revolution in gaming.

The over-the-top “realistic” violence was something truly special that all kids seemed to love and all parents seemed to hate. Most of us undoubtedly remember screaming at the screen with our friends while desperately trying to perform our favorite fatality.

While admittedly cheesy-looking by today’s standards, the animations performed by actual actors are definitely still memorable, which is why people have been so excited to see original footage of these guys pop up online recently.

Yes, someone actually had to pretend to uppercut an opponent’s head off.

Yes, someone had to fake a flying kick by posting up on a janky set of stairs.

Yes, someone had to act like a fire-breathing, undead skeleton ninja getting punched in the nuts.

The 90s was a magical time, guys.

(Imgur/JustGreatGIFs)
(Imgur/JustGreatGIFs)

(Imgur/JustGreatGIFs)
(Imgur/JustGreatGIFs)

(Imgur/JustGreatGIFs)
(Imgur/JustGreatGIFs)

(Imgur/JustGreatGIFs)

PlayStation’s Iron Man VR Lets You Take to the Skies [WATCH]

Iron Man VR PS4
(YouTube/Marvel Entertainment)

Given the stellar reception for Marvel’s Spider-Man, it’s no surprise the giant comic book company would try to explore new avenues in the video game world with one of their other big-name superheroes.

Critics and fans alike guessed that next adventure would involve piloting Tony Stark’s high-tech battle armor, but instead of the robust, story-driven adventure like our friendly neighborhood webslinger’s, this game will predominantly feature virtual reality.

The trailer for the game debuted during PlayStation’s recent live stream event:

Despite the somewhat shallow, arcade-like vibe the trailer exudes, Ryan Payton, director of game developer Camoflaj, states that his team is working hard to create an Iron Man narrative that’s both “deeply personal” and “appropriately funny.”

The game utilizes the PSVR headset to view the surrounding environment and the PlayStation Move controllers to aim, punch, and fire Iron Man’s signature energy blasts.

In addition to Friday, Tony Stark’s AI Assistant, we’re hoping for cameos from additional Marvel characters and a wide array of suits and weapons to upgrade along the way.

Additional details regarding the meat of the game remain scarce, but in an age when Marvel can’t seem to lose, it seems as good a time as any to finally take control of the billionaire genius playboy philanthropist.

Grover’s F-Bomb is Nothing Compared to SpongeBob’s Sailor-Mouthed Rant [WATCH]

(Nickelodeon)

We all know the Spongebob crew has their own brand of swear words like “barnacles” and “tartar sauce,” but what if they went full seven seas sailor mouth?

Tom Kenny, the actor behind the kind-hearted sponge, is constantly asked to “do the voice” in interviews, so he often spices up the character’s lines for comedic effect.

YouTuber Regyman liked Kenny’s improvised rant on a podcast so much, he went ahead and animated the brief scene.

While we doubt we’ll ever see an actual foul-mouthed Spongebob on the small screen, that won’t stop us from imagining children’s characters absolutely going off from time to time.

This clip kinda makes the allegations against Grover look like a Sunday stroll on Sesame Street.