A Conversation About Parenting And Comedy With Tom Segura and Christina P

(Getty/Michael Schwartz)

Comedians Tom Segura and Christina P talk parenting, standup, and how to balance them both

The first time we tried to do this interview, Tom and Christina had to reschedule due to kid stuff. Been there! It happens to all of us. But imagine how difficult it must be to manage your time when you have a kid and you’re also two of the most popular standup comics in the business.

Despite both being at the top of their field, their backgrounds are quite diverse. Christina P studied Philosophy at Oxford, has written for numerous television shows, and has performed at comedy festivals all over the world. Tom Segura is a favorite guest of several popular comedy shows on Sirius/XM, has three Netflix stand-up specials under his belt, and has made appearances on TV shows like “Workaholics” and “Happy Endings”.

Together they’ve created one of the most popular podcast/YouTube channels called “Your Mom’s House” as well as a significantly less popular (so far!) child.

I sat down with the funny couple to get their insights into how they keep the spark alive, their careers flourishing, and what being a parent means to them.

“Motherhood is… suffering,” Christina says with a laugh. “No, really. It’s a good kind of suffering. It’s constant sacrifice. There’s no other job in the world where you work 24/7, but you don’t get paid in money. You get paid in, like, a giggle… and it’s totally worth it.”

Parenting is suffering. Relentlessly tiring, constantly gross suffering. We traded war stories about dealing with horrific diapers. But Tom and Christina agreed vomit is even more disgusting.

“I think you get so conditioned to shit that shit isn’t really… you know, you’re getting shit and pissed on and you’re touching shit pretty regularly, and like, that doesn’t bother me, boogers don’t bother me…,” Tom admitted.

“No, I actually get deep satisfaction picking our son’s nose,” Christina seconds.

(Getty/Michael Schwartz)

Tom continues, “Yeah, but when something comes up from inside, you’re like, ‘Bro, this is foul.’ Yeah. I’ll still deal with it, obviously, but I think that’s the grossest.” He takes a second to think on it. “…although really sloppy shit? Really, with any other human being, if another human being shits anywhere near you…so many red flags go off inside of you. So many alarms. Like… evacuate this area. NOW. But, there’s only like one human being that you’re like, ‘All right. I’ll deal with it.'”

Despite the suffering, and the vomit, and the “really sloppy shit,” both Tom and Christina have realized that being a parent does have its privileges. Like getting out of things.

They admit they’ve used their child to get out of doing something on multiple occasions.

“I love it when someone’s like, ‘can you make it to this thing?’ I’ll be like, ‘nah, Christina’s out and I have to watch my son.’ They don’t even question it,” Tom explains with glee. “It’s like, you know in show business there’s amazing credits that just get people’s eyes. You’d be like, ‘I’m on Saturday Night Live.’ They’re like, ‘Wow, that’s amazing!’ It is the equivalent of that. That is the show biz credit. You know what I mean? If you say, ‘Yeah, I have to take care of my kid.’ It just shuts it down. People are like, ‘Oh, yeah, of course you do. I have no response.’ I want to keep having kids just to keep those excuses coming.”

It’s at this point I remember the rescheduling of the interview because of “kid stuff.” Hmm…

Of course, they may have just needed to take a nap. Because like any couple with a young child, and especially a couple with two complicated traveling schedules, sleep comes at a premium.

“For me, a minimum of seven hours before I’m crazy. I get psychotic,” Christina says. She adds, “Here’s the good news, once you become a parent, your body gets used to it like a marine. You just function on so little.”

Even when he’s on the road, presented with the opportunity to sleep and unplug, Tom has learned that he can’t fully disconnect from the parent life no matter how much he wants to.

“You can sleep in, but then the thing is, I’m texting her like, ‘Hey, guess what time I woke up? The same time I fucking wake up at home.’ And then I’m all like, ‘Send me pictures, send me videos.’ You know?,” Segura moans. “‘Show me what he’s doing.’ It’s like you don’t have the responsibility of watching him actively because you’re a thousand miles away, and it’s a break, but you kind of still miss it. You want to be there.”

(Getty/Michael Schwartz)

His wife agrees.

“There’s truly no break from being a parent. You always think of your child first… always. I think having a son… I’m serious, I think it was all just me, me, me, what am I, me, my neuroses, and what am I going to do?… And brunch. Just stupid shit,” Christina says of her pre-parent lifestyle. “And now that I have a kid and I see what most people go through and the amount of sacrifice and caring for somebody else, I think it just made me a better person. My view of the world is more well-rounded. I think I was a child until we had a baby, you know?”

Parenting is an exhausting rollercoaster of emotions. It gives you stress, but also happiness. Tom says it also gives him empathy, “There’s no way that having a kid won’t change your perspective on the world. You literally start to view every person that you meet or speak to as somebody’s child. You know? I can talk to somebody and they have an unlikable quality and I’ll have empathy for them. I’ll be like, ‘Well, this guy probably just didn’t have good parents…'”

Before we go, I ask if the comedian couple has any advice for new parents and parents-to-be?

Tom says, “I meet expecting parents and I always tell them you’re going to have the most fun, you’re going to lose your mind, just take care of each other. It’s natural to take care of the child. Your nurturing instincts are there, but sometimes you have to remember you gotta take care of each other. You’re going to take care of your baby, you don’t have to tell anybody, ‘Hey, hold and love and take care of this new life in your arms.’ But, take care of each other.

Christina agrees, “Right. Because it’s us against him, you know what I mean? At the end of the day.”

With a toddler at home, a professionally produced YouTube show, two flourishing comedy careers, and a determination to make time for themselves and their marriage, free time is a rare commodity. I’m just glad they gave The Dad a little bit of it, and didn’t use their kid as a (completely unassailable) excuse to get out of it… again?

Tom’s third Netflix special, Disgraceful, lands on January 12.

(Netflix)

Christina’s Netflix special, Mother Inferior, debuted in November.

(Netflix)

They also host the popular comedy YouTube show/podcast Your Mom’s House.

Follow Tom on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram

Follow Christina on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram

 

Son Surprises Ailing Dad With Tickets To College World Series

Father’s Day is a special time to celebrate your old man, and show him how much you appreciate the role he’s played in your life all these years. Especially since, as we get older, our dads do too, and they may not have many Father’s Days left.

Matt Lea recognized that this Father’s Day, and so went out of his way to make it a memorable one, for both him and his father, both former college baseball players who bonded over the game as Matt was growing up.

Matt’s father Billy suffers from Alzheimer’s Disease, and the symptoms have been accruing rapidly. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t time for more memories, and Matt used the latest Father’s Day as an opportunity to do just that. The 36-year-old drove 12 hours, from Florida to Mississippi, and surprised his parents at their doorstep on Sunday.

He was bearing gifts as well, bringing his dad the jersey of his favorite baseball team, Mississippi State. But that wasn’t all. Matt brought tickets too, to see the College World Series in Omaha in person.

In video of the exchange that Matt posted on Twitter, his dad was clearly taken by surprise.

“I figured it’s probably not good enough just for us to watch the game here,” Matt says in the video as he produces the tickets. “How about we go to Omaha? Do you want to go up to Omaha and watch the College World Series together?”

“Golly,” an emotional Billy responds. “You’re gonna break my heart, here.”

Matt’s gift for his dad received a rapturous response from Twitter, where it’s been liked 46,000 times and retweeted 11,000 times.

Matt seemed as surprised by the response as his dad was by the gift, as everyone who celebrated Father’s Day yesterday knows, there’s nothing better than sharing meaningful memories with your dad, which is exactly what Matt did. An article on Omaha.com details Billy’s baseball past, the initial diagnosis of his Alzheimer’s, the VIP experience Matt treated him too over the weekend.

Matt’s Twitter account showcased the rest.

Happy Father’s Day!

Amazing Street Artist Uses Everyday Objects As His Canvas

(Twitter/tombobnyc)

Artist Tom Bob doesn’t see the world like other people. Where you and I might see sewer grates or metal pipes, he sees ghosts and saxophone players.

Check out some of the amazing ways he’s transforming parts of New York City into works of art.

(Twitter/tombobnyc)
(Twitter/tombobnyc)
(Twitter/tombobnyc)
(Twitter/tombobnyc)
(Twitter/tombobnyc)
(Twitter/tombobnyc)
(Twitter/tombobnyc)
(Twitter/tombobnyc)
(Twitter/tombobnyc)
(Twitter/tombobnyc)
(Twitter/tombobnyc)
(Twitter/tombobnyc)

Check out more of Tom Bob and his unique artwork here.

Father Figures: Heroes

“On February 2, 2011, my daughter was born. The whole thing started pretty normally about 2:30 am or so, my wife woke me up and said, ‘Honey, it is time to go,’ so we went to the hospital in a snowstorm.

That was the easy part.

When they put the belly monitor on her they noticed that the babies heart rate would drop to low whenever my wife would have a contraction. She needed emergency C-section, but the doctor could not make it due to the storm, and when he finally arrived it was rush rush rush!
Well when my daughter Emily did arrive, she had internal bleeding throughout her body, which included two grade 4 brain bleeds. We could not touch her because she would bruise and start bleeding.
They had to life-flight her to the university, where she spent 5 1/2 weeks in the NICU, which left her (you may want to sit down) deaf/blind, with hydrocephalus, a shunt, cerebral palsy, and seizures (at age 6, she needed a baclofen pump because her CP got too bad to handle without it). She is doing great today. She is happy, loves life, and everyone who meets her says that she makes their day and she is beautiful.
To pay back our little community, I became a first responder, mostly a firefighter, but I did help with EMS. Never got my certification, but that is where I found out that in the U.S. we do not have any training for first responders to deal with children with special needs.
I have made it my personal mission to teach first responders about kids with special needs.
I have taken to Emily to every EMS/Fire station in the five counties around me. I have taken her to the police and sheriff’s departments to train them, and now I have a waiting list to get trained.
I don’t know if I am the hero here, but I needed to tell the story.”

– Mike Kuyper

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Low Cost Cosplay Guy Makes The World A Better Place

(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)

Anucha “Cha” Saengchart, the genius behind “Low Cost Cosplay,” has amassed millions of followers with his incredible reimaginings of famous fictional characters.

Whether you’re planning on portraying your favorite anime character or a Marvel superhero, this guy can show you how to do it effectively and on a string budget.

(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)

Can’t get enough? Check out more creative cosplay on his Facebook page.

Dad Turns Photos Of Daughter Into Kickass Album Covers

(Instagram/rfosterdesign)

When graphic designer Ryan Foster spotted a somber, black and white photo of his daughter, Harper Lou, it instantly reminded him of a blues album cover. He couldn’t help but throw some graphics onto the image to create her first “album” cover himself.

This has led to a series of album covers featuring Harper Lou, many of which look pretty damn legit. She may not be making actual records yet, but her dad will definitely be ready when she does.

(Instagram/rfosterdesign)
(Instagram/rfosterdesign)
(Instagram/rfosterdesign)
(Instagram/rfosterdesign)
(Instagram/rfosterdesign)
(Instagram/rfosterdesign)
(Instagram/rfosterdesign)
(Instagram/rfosterdesign)
(Instagram/rfosterdesign)

You can find more awesome album covers as well as other design projects by Ryan on his Instagram.

The 5 Hottest Father’s Day Tech Gifts Your Dad Will Ask To See The Receipt For

(Getty)

Mother’s Day is in the rearview and our annual celebration of everything Dad is fast approaching. Sure, he loved those grilling tongs and Three Stooges boxsets you got him last year. But if there’s one things all dads love, it’s being assured that they’ve genetically passed on their cheapness. Here are 5 Father’s Day gadgets your dad is definitely going to demand the receipt for.

1. A smart speaker

Image result for amazon alexa
Source: Amazon

These have become relatively expensive in recent years. This, of course, isn’t going to stop your dad from assuming it set you back several thousand dollars. Your dad just figured out how to make a Facebook profile. He’s gonna need a minute on talking AI servants.

2. A streaming stick

Image result for roku stick
Source: Roku

“So yeah, you just plug this Roku stick into the TV and you can pretty much watch anything you want.” That’s you. That’s you telling your dad you just spent a boatload of money on a piece of technology. “Instant access to every movie ever made” is your dad’s cue to ask you to retrieve the Best Buy receipt crammed in the console’s cupholder.

3. A dashcam

Image result for dashcam
Source: Amazon

These are great to have in the event of an accident. Unfortunately, your dad is still under the impression it’s 1999 and all digital cameras cost ten million dollars. Be sure to keep this receipt in your wallet, because this thing’s going right back to the store if it ran you how much he thinks it ran you.

4. An e-reader

Image result for e reader
Source: Amazon

What a lovely thought. Your dad, sitting up in bed, every book he could possibly want at his fingertips. What will he read first? A book about World War II? The biography of Henry Ford? The answer is, of course, the receipt for this fancy reading tablet that probably set you back three mortgage payments.

5. A yearly-subscription to a music streaming service

Image result for spotify
Source: Spotify

You just want him to be able to listen to the Doobie Brothers whenever he wants. But by his math, if buying a single song on iTunes costs $1, and Spotifly, as he calls it, gives you access to over four million songs, you’ve essentially just bankrupted your family. Good job. Be sure to keep that receipt handy to prove to him that he can still see his grandkids attend college one day.