A Conversation About Parenting And Comedy With Tom Segura and Christina P

(Getty/Michael Schwartz)

Comedians Tom Segura and Christina P talk parenting, standup, and how to balance them both

The first time we tried to do this interview, Tom and Christina had to reschedule due to kid stuff. Been there! It happens to all of us. But imagine how difficult it must be to manage your time when you have a kid and you’re also two of the most popular standup comics in the business.

Despite both being at the top of their field, their backgrounds are quite diverse. Christina P studied Philosophy at Oxford, has written for numerous television shows, and has performed at comedy festivals all over the world. Tom Segura is a favorite guest of several popular comedy shows on Sirius/XM, has three Netflix stand-up specials under his belt, and has made appearances on TV shows like “Workaholics” and “Happy Endings”.

Together they’ve created one of the most popular podcast/YouTube channels called “Your Mom’s House” as well as a significantly less popular (so far!) child.

I sat down with the funny couple to get their insights into how they keep the spark alive, their careers flourishing, and what being a parent means to them.

“Motherhood is… suffering,” Christina says with a laugh. “No, really. It’s a good kind of suffering. It’s constant sacrifice. There’s no other job in the world where you work 24/7, but you don’t get paid in money. You get paid in, like, a giggle… and it’s totally worth it.”

Parenting is suffering. Relentlessly tiring, constantly gross suffering. We traded war stories about dealing with horrific diapers. But Tom and Christina agreed vomit is even more disgusting.

“I think you get so conditioned to shit that shit isn’t really… you know, you’re getting shit and pissed on and you’re touching shit pretty regularly, and like, that doesn’t bother me, boogers don’t bother me…,” Tom admitted.

“No, I actually get deep satisfaction picking our son’s nose,” Christina seconds.

(Getty/Michael Schwartz)

Tom continues, “Yeah, but when something comes up from inside, you’re like, ‘Bro, this is foul.’ Yeah. I’ll still deal with it, obviously, but I think that’s the grossest.” He takes a second to think on it. “…although really sloppy shit? Really, with any other human being, if another human being shits anywhere near you…so many red flags go off inside of you. So many alarms. Like… evacuate this area. NOW. But, there’s only like one human being that you’re like, ‘All right. I’ll deal with it.'”

Despite the suffering, and the vomit, and the “really sloppy shit,” both Tom and Christina have realized that being a parent does have its privileges. Like getting out of things.

They admit they’ve used their child to get out of doing something on multiple occasions.

“I love it when someone’s like, ‘can you make it to this thing?’ I’ll be like, ‘nah, Christina’s out and I have to watch my son.’ They don’t even question it,” Tom explains with glee. “It’s like, you know in show business there’s amazing credits that just get people’s eyes. You’d be like, ‘I’m on Saturday Night Live.’ They’re like, ‘Wow, that’s amazing!’ It is the equivalent of that. That is the show biz credit. You know what I mean? If you say, ‘Yeah, I have to take care of my kid.’ It just shuts it down. People are like, ‘Oh, yeah, of course you do. I have no response.’ I want to keep having kids just to keep those excuses coming.”

It’s at this point I remember the rescheduling of the interview because of “kid stuff.” Hmm…

Of course, they may have just needed to take a nap. Because like any couple with a young child, and especially a couple with two complicated traveling schedules, sleep comes at a premium.

“For me, a minimum of seven hours before I’m crazy. I get psychotic,” Christina says. She adds, “Here’s the good news, once you become a parent, your body gets used to it like a marine. You just function on so little.”

Even when he’s on the road, presented with the opportunity to sleep and unplug, Tom has learned that he can’t fully disconnect from the parent life no matter how much he wants to.

“You can sleep in, but then the thing is, I’m texting her like, ‘Hey, guess what time I woke up? The same time I fucking wake up at home.’ And then I’m all like, ‘Send me pictures, send me videos.’ You know?,” Segura moans. “‘Show me what he’s doing.’ It’s like you don’t have the responsibility of watching him actively because you’re a thousand miles away, and it’s a break, but you kind of still miss it. You want to be there.”

(Getty/Michael Schwartz)

His wife agrees.

“There’s truly no break from being a parent. You always think of your child first… always. I think having a son… I’m serious, I think it was all just me, me, me, what am I, me, my neuroses, and what am I going to do?… And brunch. Just stupid shit,” Christina says of her pre-parent lifestyle. “And now that I have a kid and I see what most people go through and the amount of sacrifice and caring for somebody else, I think it just made me a better person. My view of the world is more well-rounded. I think I was a child until we had a baby, you know?”

Parenting is an exhausting rollercoaster of emotions. It gives you stress, but also happiness. Tom says it also gives him empathy, “There’s no way that having a kid won’t change your perspective on the world. You literally start to view every person that you meet or speak to as somebody’s child. You know? I can talk to somebody and they have an unlikable quality and I’ll have empathy for them. I’ll be like, ‘Well, this guy probably just didn’t have good parents…'”

Before we go, I ask if the comedian couple has any advice for new parents and parents-to-be?

Tom says, “I meet expecting parents and I always tell them you’re going to have the most fun, you’re going to lose your mind, just take care of each other. It’s natural to take care of the child. Your nurturing instincts are there, but sometimes you have to remember you gotta take care of each other. You’re going to take care of your baby, you don’t have to tell anybody, ‘Hey, hold and love and take care of this new life in your arms.’ But, take care of each other.

Christina agrees, “Right. Because it’s us against him, you know what I mean? At the end of the day.”

With a toddler at home, a professionally produced YouTube show, two flourishing comedy careers, and a determination to make time for themselves and their marriage, free time is a rare commodity. I’m just glad they gave The Dad a little bit of it, and didn’t use their kid as a (completely unassailable) excuse to get out of it… again?

Tom’s third Netflix special, Disgraceful, lands on January 12.

(Netflix)

Christina’s Netflix special, Mother Inferior, debuted in November.

(Netflix)

They also host the popular comedy YouTube show/podcast Your Mom’s House.

Follow Tom on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram

Follow Christina on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram

 

Dad and Son Gain Global Recognition by Reuniting Lost Gloves

(Instagram/lonely_glove_club)

Brooklyn dad Lance Vining and his 4-year-old son, Zach, were walking to school on a brisk December morning when Zach noticed a lone glove abandoned on the sidewalk.

“Daddy, what happens to the gloves that are just left on the sidewalk?” Zach asked, clearly concerned.

“Well, nothing happens to them,” Lance responded. “Because you can’t do anything with a single glove.”

This answer simply wasn’t satisfactory for Zach, who was “crestfallen,” according to Lance. So, instead of accepting his own answer, Lance decided to actually do something about it.

With a few posters and a laminator, the duo created the “Lonely Gloves Club,” a network of neighborhood ‘lost & found’ locations made specifically for neglected gloves.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Zach and I having fun trying to be good neighbors. #lonelygloveclub #windsorterrace

A post shared by #lonelygloveclub (@lonely_glove_club) on

Locals immediately began to take notice.

“As we were putting up the signs, people were commenting, ‘Oh, that’s a good idea,’ which was kind of awesome,” Lance told New York News 4. Realizing additional steps could be taken to reunite folks with their lost gloves, Lance even launched an Instagram page to promote new arrivals to the club.

The campaign has gained some followers—both online and off—with people requesting signs to start their own Lonely Gloves Club in their local neighborhoods. Lance and Zach have sent posters to California, England, the Netherlands, and a number of places in between.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Zach mailing off another poster! This one for the second time. #notenoughstamps

A post shared by #lonelygloveclub (@lonely_glove_club) on

It’s hard to track just how many people have been reunited with gloves due to the club’s efforts, but Lance says he and Zach “see new gloves appearing and other gloves disappearing, so it seems to be working.”

Currently, there is only one documented glove recovery story on Instagram, but the heavy use of hashtags and exclamation points emphasizes just how special the find was.

“It’s really rewarding to think that such a small, little idea that was supposed to just be for our neighborhood is being so well-received by other places in the world,” Lance said.

“I guess it’s kind of a universal thing that everybody goes through every winter — we’ve all lost and seen gloves on the side of the road.”

Working as a creative director in Manhattan, Lance has loved the opportunity to participate in a project with his son.

“This is the kind of thing I do for big brands all the time, so it’s a bit of an insight into my world for him,” he said. “I wanted to show him that if you see a problem, you can solve it. You don’t have to wait for somebody else to solve it.

Tweet Roundup: The Funniest Tweets About Winter…With Children

(Getty/Elizabeth Sallee Bauer)

Gloves, hats, mitts, boots, snow pants, jackets and the dreaded snow day. These are just a few of the hardships people who parent in cold climates have to endure.

Here are the funniest tweets about winters…with children.

If you have kids in school, winter can be especially frustrating.

So try to look at every snow day as a blessing.

Sure, you could use the weather as an excuse to be lazy inside.

But that will quickly try your patience.

So take the young’ns outside and make the most of it!

First, you gonna wanna bundle them up.

Be sure to invest in a nice coat they’ll hate.

Like, HATE hate.

Don’t forget the mittens. They will.

Ready to head out?

Perfect! Time to build a snowman. Round up an old scarf, a carrot, and okay they’re already bored.

Cool. Great.

Plenty to do inside.

8-Minute Short Film About a Dad and Son Will Hit You in the Feels [WATCH]

(YouTube/Pepe School Land)

Short film Alike highlights an all too common theme in parenting but in a fun, whimsical way. It opens with a father loading up his son’s backpack with an unreasonable number of textbooks. The son, seen joyfully running around the house, is instantly anchored to the ground when his dad straps it around his tiny shoulders.

Acclimating to the bag’s immense weight, the boy happily wobbles out of frame. His father grabs an equally heavy work briefcase and follows suit out the door.

On their walk to work/school, the boy spots a violin player in the center of town and is instantly captivated by the performance. Surrounded by grey buildings, grey cars, and grey pedestrians, the boy, father, and violinist appear to be the only things in color.

Despite his son’s obvious enchantment with the musician, the father reminds his son of their responsibilities, slips the backpack full of books back on his son, and leads him back into the drab, colorless environment of the city. Clearly, this severe lack of color isn’t a simple design choice.

After a quick embrace, the father departs from his son’s school and heads to a dead end, soul-crushing job. Surrounded by menial tasks, the color literally drains out of him. Watching the clock with dull grey eyes, he counts the minutes until he’s free to leave, his color only returning when he’s with his jubilant son once again.

The son, however, retains his color initially—daydreaming about the violinist and the way the music made him feel, but he’s told day after day that his passions are not appropriate. As time wears on, his color also begins to dwindle and he’s forced to leave his interests behind to conform to the other students.

In a behind the scenes video, the film’s co-director Daniel Martinez Lara explains how fatherhood means constantly asking ourselves what the best things are for our children at any given moment. We try our best and don’t always get it right. This film doesn’t answer that question per se but acts as a reflection of that process.

This is the reason the father and son characters are playfully known to the film crew as “Copi” and “Paste.” We often consider our children to be miniature extensions of ourselves rather than unique individuals with dreams, desires, and personalities. Alike begins with Copi dragging Paste through the motions of what he believes life should be. It isn’t until he listens and acknowledges his son’s passions as legitimate that a genuine connection is established once again.

Parenting can often be viewed as a long list of “shoulds” and “musts,” but it’s also an opportunity to see your children for what they are: amazing people. So, while we have a responsibility to teach and guide our kids, so they don’t become garbage human beings when they grow up, it can also be important to stop and just let them listen to the music every once in a while. You never know what you might learn as a result.

Dad Grades: Homer Simpson From The Simpsons

(20th Century Fox)

D’oh! In whole year we’ve been doing Dad Grades, we’ve neglected to offer analysis for one of the most iconic, influential, beloved dads in the history of pop culture: Homer J. Simpson. Let’s jump right into it.

STRENGTHS

By the end of any episode surrounding him and his kids, Homer Simpson has revealed himself to be, deep down, a caring and devoted father. Jumping the Springfield Gorge on skateboard to earn Bart’s respect.

Working two jobs to afford Lisa’s dream pony.

And as far as Maggie goes, who could forget this tug at the heartstrings?

 

WEAKNESSES

Wow. Okay. Where to begin. Chokes his son, for starters.

The first sketch of Homer strangling Bart (1988)

We know this is the same unrealistic cartoon violence they themselves satirize by way of Itchy & Scratchy, but we’d be remiss to omit that piece of information from this very serious analysis. Yikes.

Look at this.

That’s a mace.

Don’t worry. All uphill from here. Drinks excessively, can’t forget that one. Again, fully aware cartoons operate within their own system of both physics and ethics, so we’re good on smug comments condemning the actions of Wile E. Coyote or whatever. You knew this damn well this Dad Grade had to happen at some point.

(20th Century Fox)

Kept Bart out of school for some time to start a business that amounted to stealing and reselling grease. Multiple crimes in that sentence.

(20th Century Fox)

Oh yeah, DANGEROUSLY stupid. Jumped over Springfield Gorge on a skateboard Did we include that as a strength? Yeah, that was a dumb thing for him to do. I mean, a DRAWBRIDGE closed on his head one time.

Just an unprecedented level of ineptitude, really. A horrible example to set for your kids. We here at The Dad do not take such reckless abandon lightly.

You know what? Let’s just stop with drawbridge on head. Doing a deep-dive on the paternal competency of Homer Simpson is like watching footage of hot dogs being made. Trust us, best to just throw some relish on that bad boy and enjoy it for what it is.

VERDICT

Over the past year, we at Dad Grades have offered analyses on countless TV and movie dads, all the while priding ourselves on doing so with both accountability and fairness. We aim for complete objectivity throughout every one of these super serious evaluations that should be taken seriously. We do not like what we’re about to do any more than you do. It is with a heavy heart that we give our very first…

FINAL DAD GRADE: F

Check out our previous edition when we graded Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor!

Dad Builds Wheelchair-Accessible Igloo for His 9 Adopted Kids

(Reddit/danthoms)

Parenting is a tough gig. We’re all doing the best we can, trudging through, mostly happy to survive another day without blowing it too badly.

Then we run across some parents who are doing more than merely surviving, they’re crushing it on every level, and making us look like amateurs. Like the Cincinnati dad who built an igloo for his kids, complete with wheelchair access. Nine kids. All of whom have special needs. All of whom they’ve adopted.

If I had nine kids, I wouldn’t have the energy to get out of bed, let alone build an igloo, let alone add a ramp to the igloo! Gregg Eichhorn is a superhero, and so is his wife Katie.

“We adopt all medical and special needs kids because seems like those are the kids where they have the hardest time finding homes for them,” Eichhorn told CBS.

His oldest, 19-year-old Zahara, was adopted from Uganda. She is non-verbal and uses a wheelchair, but she had no problem rolling into the enormous snow fort her dad built with his sister. She couldn’t wait to get in there.

“Her face lit up – she gets super excited,” Eichhorn said of Zahara’s reaction when she saw the igloo. “I think she felt like a movie star.”

He wasn’t the only one! Elijah, Zahara’s brother, also uses a wheelchair, was excited about the igloo. All nine of the Eichhorn kids were.

“They’re all loving it. They think it’s really neat,” Superdad said.

Obviously. Who wouldn’t want a badass igloo like that in their yard!

Reddit agrees. One of Gregg’s friends posted about the igloo on Reddit and it immediately took off, garnering over 70,000 upvotes and nearly 1000 comments as people shared their admiration for the dad, and for his handiwork.

Card

Card

Eichhorn is happy for the extra attention his viral post is bringing to special needs children who need homes.

“I think it’s really important that all kids with medical and special needs that are orphans have people to step up and provide them with homes.”

Dad Lands Vacation Dates for Sons With Funny Classified Ad

(NZ Herald/Facebook)

If you reach a certain age and aren’t in a relationship, parents simply can’t accept it. In their eyes, you are their little prince or princess and anyone would be damn lucky to be with you.

So, bless their hearts, they do their best to help you out with setting up blind dates and plan, planning social events, or just incessant prodding about their need for grandchildren.

One particular dad from Portland, Oregon went above and beyond, however, when he placed an ad for not one, but all three of his sons in a New Zealand newspaper while they were there on vacation.

(Facebook)

“Hello Parents. We are from the States (Oregon), visiting your beautiful country. My wife and I have three wonderful, successful, handsome, alas unmarried, sons between the ages of 28-32,” the ad in the NZ Herald read.

“We are not expecting, just hoping, to introduce our sons to nice NZ daughters. At the very least we’ll embarrass our sons and the truth is, we do find some enjoyment in that.”

Neil, the proactive father, said the ad immediately received over 200 replies and he was doing his best to sort through them all since his sons still had no idea any of it was happening.

“I’m somewhat surprised that I have got quite a lot of responses,” he said.

“It is hard to tell how many are genuine. A few are maybe just scammers but for the most part, people are really amazingly nice in your country.”

(NZ Herald/NewsTalk ZB)

Neil’s sons—Matthew, Jeremy, and Benjamin—range from ages 26 to 31 and all have steady jobs in the Pacific Northwest region. According to their dad, though, their dating lives haven’t really been a serious focus for any of them.

“I know one of my sons uses these dating sites and is always going on introductory dates and meeting somebody, but he hasn’t had a serious relationship in quite a while,” Neil told the newspaper.

“I decided to help. I have no idea what will happen, but at least we will be able to meet some people.”

Neil says he’s still deciding when and how to tell his sons about the ad, probably waiting until they are actually on the flight to New Zealand or casually slipping it in while they disembark.

“I might say, ‘Oh, by the way, I did place a little ad for you guys’,” he chuckled.

“I am sure they will be surprised and annoyed, but I am sure they will laugh. We have a good relationship and are always joking with each other. They know I am a little unusual in that regard.”

As it turns out the brothers were all good sports about it. In total the ad sparked more than 600 responses and even resulted in a few dates.

“Between my brothers and I, we went on a few one-on-one dates,” Benjamin told the Daily Mail.

“[New Zealand women] are very intelligent, kind, friendly people. We love their accents. They were a lot of fun, everyone we met seemed nice.

“I think we will continue to stay in touch with the people we met. We really want to come back – it was a beautiful country.”

Father Figures: Unconventional and Unexpected

“We were 10 months into marriage as 23-year-olds, new to NYC. Jake was in grad school at Columbia while we were getting used to living in our 400 sq. ft. studio in Washington Heights. His mechanical engineering midterms were coming up, so I made some freezer meals and went to CA to visit my family while he studied and took tests.

Two days into my trip home, we got a call from an old friend to adopt her sweet baby girl.

While my saying yes was immediate, I of course knew I should probably consult my husband! So I called him, around midnight his time, and asked him if we could keep her! (This is possibly what caused him to go grey at 25?)

He replied, “What? Is that allowed? Of course! We have to do the right thing,” and watching him meet her a week later was the most special experience. It was an unconventional and unexpected way to enter into parenting, but he is absolutely crushing the dad game and it’s as if the dad jokes started immediately.

It’s like something releases in the brain once you’re wildly in love with your kids. He’s holding off on the white leather New Balances for now, but causes our daughter, Stella Grace, to light up with his imaginative play and jumping on the trampoline.

He even said it’d be okay to have a few more kids, and he just bought me a minivan, so I assume that means he wants to max it out! I’m thankful for the father he is!”

– Monique Coleman

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Frosty the Snowman Stops Vehicular Vandals in Their Tracks

(Cody Lutz Media)

Sometimes things just work out perfectly.

Cody Lutz of Petersberg, KY enjoyed the recent snowfall in the “Bluegrass State” by constructing a giant 9-foot-tall snowman with his fiancee and soon-to-be sister-in-law.

Lutz commented in a Facebook post that his fiancee’s sister was “elated to experience the biggest snowfall she’s ever seen.”

(Cody Lutz Media)

Using a giant tree stump as a foundation for “Frosty,” this giant snow fellow was about as sturdy as they come. So much so, in fact, that he survived a head-on collision with a would-be vandal’s car.

When Lutz cam home later that day, he noticed tire tracks leading up to the snowman from the road. Clearly, some motorist out there had vehicular snowmanslaughter on the mind but underestimated all the junk in Frosty’s trunk.

(Cody Lutz Media)

The snowman looks a little worse for wear with the tree stump in its base now exposed, but the snowy imprint of the bumper definitely adds some flair.

“You reap what you sow,” Lutz said. “Still standing and still smiling, Frosty certainly had the last laugh!”