A Parent’s Perspective: “Carl Goes To Daycare”

(Carl Goes to Daycare)

For those who aren’t familiar with the children’s classic Carl Goes to Daycare, written and illustrated by Alexandra Day, it’s a hyper-realistic tale of a gigantic dog being let loose in a daycare while the primary childcare provider attempts to break in to save the children and her job.

My kids love the vibrant imagery and childish antics. I love the tension of the entire book hanging on the edge of life-altering catastrophe.

Let’s take a closer look.

Things start out innocently enough. A mom is dropping her kid off at daycare. With a Rottweiler. Like she’s in an early 2000s DMX music video. She’s probably just being facetious when she says, “Take care of the children.” Surely Carl will stay outside.

(Carl Goes to Daycare)

Hold up. The dog goes inside, and… what’s this? The childcare provider appears to be locked out?

(Carl Goes to Daycare)

The children are so thrilled by Carl they don’t notice the absence of adults, or that Mrs. Manning is using a crowbar she had just laying around to try to break into the daycare.

(Carl Goes to Daycare)

What is even going on here? Carl has lost control of the children. Someone tell that little girl she is trying to ride a dog with lockjaw mechanism. Your head fits in his mouth kid, watch out!

(Carl Goes to Daycare)

Carl has regained control? Carl can read? Carl is making sure they keep to their daily schedule?

(Carl Goes to Daycare)

What is that wacky Mrs. Manning up to now? It looks like she’s trying to pick the lock with a colonial-era device used to churn butter. Meanwhile, a savage 125 pound beast is teaching the children horticulture tips. I know cell phones aren’t invented yet but FFS Mrs. Manning, go next door, ask to borrow the yellow pages and call a locksmith. You’re legally responsible for those children!

(Carl Goes to Daycare)

Carl in this picture is ALL OF US. Look at his face. Fuck crafting, amirite?

(Carl Goes to Daycare)

Carl is looking burnt out. We’ve all been there. He knows that if he just feeds these little monsters he’s one step closer to the end of this hell day where he can crack open a cold one or dig his teeth into a rawhide bone and imagine it’s the flesh of the loudest, whiniest child.

Meanwhile Mrs. Manning appears to be climbing a pine tree without an OSHA-certified harness and then smash through the skylight like a young Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible.

(Carl Goes to Daycare)

What‘s the deal with this daycare anyway? EVEN IF that moron Mrs. Manning was inside, surely this is not compliant with adult-to-children ratio laws?

(Carl Goes to Daycare)

Wow, Mrs. Manning. Tie your car to it, a reasonable solution to anything. Good luck to any kids in her care with a loose tooth. I hope the bumper flies off your VW Beetle, you realize this is the wrong career for you, and you’re able to get your fucking life together before a lawsuit destroys you.

(Carl Goes to Daycare)

AW SHIT THAT’S RIGHT! CARL CAN FUCKING READ!

(Carl Goes to Daycare)

Carl, you smug son of a bitch. You knew she was out there the whole time and could have opened the door, but you wanted to make her sweat.

(Carl Goes to Daycare)

Carl’s like, “Hey genius, you owe me one day’s minimum wage pay and also I took a crap by your desk.”

(Carl Goes to Daycare)

At the end of every book this lady acts like Carl is the crazy one. “Oh, hey, I just left you in charge of my infant daughter and like 24 other kids but I’m going to put my hands on my hips and be condescending because you’ve got a ladybug on your butt like a dang fool.”

(Carl Goes to Daycare)

You bet your ass you’re glad Carl was here, Mrs. Manning. Your jumpsuit is fly as hell but your judgment is questionable.

(Carl Goes to Daycare)

Memories were made, the entire day’s schedule was attended to, careers were saved. Carl may be a man of few words, but that doesn’t stop him from being a gentleman, a scholar, and above all, an unlicensed childcare-providing Rottweiler. Like, I can’t stress that last part enough.

Bottom Line

While it is impressive that Alexandra Day could switch-hit as both author and illustrator, I felt Carl Goes to Daycare had more plot holes than the last season of Lost. The innocent amusement of the children juxtaposed with a savage beast who would rip them all to shreds if he was held without food for a week was, in fact, interesting. But throughout the tall tale I couldn’t help but imagine what would happen if the story was in modern times, and the daycare had webcams. Helicopter parents would immediately call the animal control SWAT team to storm through the windows with high-powered tranq guns. No more Carl. And after the state licensing agency got involved, no more daycare.

But if you can manage to suspend your disbelief for 10 minutes, Carl Goes to Daycare is an idealistic view of the potential heart of a rottweiler. I just wouldn’t be calling the pound to see if they have any good nannies anytime soon.

Oregon Girl Hosts Carwash Fundraiser for Dad’s New Prosthetic Leg

Summer and Doug Bell
(Facebook/Echo Marie Bell KEZI 9 ABC News)

Summer Bell isn’t spending her summer just sitting around. The Creswell, Oregon girl is on a mission to raise money for a cause that’s near and dear to her heart.

Summer’s dad, Doug Bell, has had health difficulties since early childhood. According to the family, Doug has struggled with diabetes for many years — his kidneys failing back in 2017. Most recently, he was hospitalized due to a serious infection that cost him the bottom portion of his leg. Since being released, Doug has been unable to walk on his own and will now need a robotic prosthesis. The cost of a prosthetic leg ranges widely depending on several circumstances, but many can run $5,000-$15,000 or more. It’s a cost that would exceed the means of many families, but Summer isn’t wasting any time by waiting around.

Summer’s mom, Echo, has five other children to care for and is currently working two jobs herself, so the enterprising little lady decided to pitch-in by holding a community car wash in her hometown. Point S Tire & Auto Service agreed to host the event, which is now scheduled to take place this weekend.

Echo posted her daughter’s handmade sign in a Facebook post, sharing details of the event as well as her sentiments on the gesture. “I’m so proud of her. She’s such a caring little human,” adding “how did we get so lucky?”

In addition to the car wash, Summer and her mom have set up a GoFundMe page to help raise enough to eventually get Doug moving once again. A link to the page can be found here.

Would You Have Believed Any of These Fake Nintendo Facts?

#FakeNintendoFacts
(Twitter/swhammerhead)

In the early days of video gaming, rumors about hidden secrets and glitches were rampant. Seemingly every day, some kid on the playground would tout his knowledge about how to attain the rarest of items or beat a certain difficult boss in one hit. Of course, since the introduction of the internet, current rumors can quickly be debunked with a couple of taps on a smartphone.

But there was something special about these alternative game facts. They caused us to question the scope and possibilities a single game could provide, making these simple virtual worlds seem more complex, vibrant, and mysterious.

Thanks to @HashtagRoundup, folks over on Twitter have been reminiscing about this golden era with the hashtag #FakeNintendoFacts and while some of them are just plain ridiculous, others have the exact same flavor of the rumors we heard on the playground. Would you have fallen for any of these?

Take a look at the entire collection of tweets by clicking #FakeNintendoFacts.

Father Figures: My Motivation

“I had a lot of preconceived notions about what type of type of dad I thought I’d be if I were ever to have a son, all those notions went right out the window the second you opened your eyes at me for the first time.

Everything I thought I knew and would be a professional at as a dad gave way to the emotion and pure joy I felt just watching you do even the smallest of things in life .

I used to say one day my son is going to be a football player like I was and score a bunch of touchdowns, he’s going to be tough and relentless and make me so proud. Looking back now as the father I am today, I finally get the silliness of that old cliche. The reality is my son makes me proud by finishing his juice box, sharing with his friends, being polite to a waitress or simply tying his shoes correctly.

I understand now that regardless of what this little man chooses to do in life, whether it’s playing a flute or winning the world’s strongest man competition someday, I’m going to be right there in the front row overflowing with pride and happiness for my boy.

As a father I get it now, more focus on raising young men of value and love is needed more than ever in today’s world and my son is 100% joining those ranks. Accolades and trophies come and go, but kindness, compassion, and a good heart will stay with him forever. Embrace this world with an open heart and a thirst for adventure my son, never stop dreaming, and thank you for making me feel like the luckiest man alive each and every day.

Watching you grow and learn and enjoy life the way you do has been nothing short of amazing and I’ve already learned more by raising you in 8 short years then I did my entire previous 30. You are my motivation and reason for everything in life and without you I wouldn’t be even half the man I am today.”

– Adam Gauthier

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Check out the previous editions of Father Figures here.

Teen Allegedly Tweets From Smart Fridge After Devices Get Confiscated

Teen Allegedly Tweets From Fridge
(Twitter/thankunext327 LG)

Raising a teenager is universally understood to be the hardest part of parenting, for good reason. Babies change your lives and disrupt your sleep, toddlers are chaos machines, elementary school kids are challenging but at least they’re still cute.

Teenagers are independent and rebellious, smart and self-conscious, lazy and sarcastic, and they know everything! (Insert sarcasm font.) Every kid is different, of course, but as your kids get older and more fully-formed, keeping a handle on them gets harder and harder. Especially when they’re so damn resourceful!

Never has then been more apparent than in the case of a Twitter account named Dorothy, @thankunext327, an Ariana Grande stan who recently found herself in conflict with her mother. Dorothy is 15 years old, and apparently, like many 15-year-olds these days, is quite reliant on her phone and social media. So much so that when her mother confiscated her phone and other electronics, she couldn’t let that stand. She needed to tweet!

First, her mother took her phone.


Then, after realizing her clever teen was also able to tweet from her Nintendo DS, she took that away too.


Then she used her Wii because this teen can’t stop won’t stop tweeting.


The teen’s saga went viral, with the hashtag #FreeDorothy cementing her status as a legend…

…and that was before she found yet one more way to manipulate 2019 technology to get what she wanted after her mom took everything away again. Her smart fridge.

At this point, you almost expect her mom to reply with a gif of Ron Burgundy telling his dog he’s not even mad, just disappointed. Except, despite LG – the maker of her fridge – confirming to the Guardian that some of their models have social media capabilities, the teen’s story was starting to seem fishy.

The paper consulted Igor Brigadir, a computer researcher at University College Dublin, who combed through metadata and confirmed that while the Nintendo tweets were legit, the fridge tweet was not. “The LG fridge was definitely manually created,” he said.

Also manually created? The thousands of new followers Dorothy’s Twitter account gained over the course of her viral escapade. Whether she actually tweeted from her fridge or not, she definitely got the attention she was looking for!

Pitcher Strikes out Friend and Skips Celebration to Console Him

Koehn Consoles Kocon After Strike Out
(Twitter/Cut4)

As kids get older, sporting events seem to get more and more intense. With such fierce competition driving passions higher and higher, sportsmanship can often be the first casualty. Fortunately, this isn’t’ always the case though, as two high school baseball players in Minnesota exemplified after the climax of their game.

Not exactly a nail-biter, Mounds View led Totino-Grace, 17-10, in a matchup that would decide who would participate in the upcoming state championship. With two outs, Totino-Grace’s Jack Kocon walked to the plate hoping to make something happen in his team’s final moments.

Here are a couple of different views of the play:


With a pitch-perfect outside corner fastball, Koehn knocked out both Kocon and his team from contention. Hearing the call, Kocon began a defeated walk back to the dugout when Koehn whizzed passed his celebrating catcher to embrace his opponent and friend.

It’s something you don’t see every day, but Koehn and Kocon have a history when it comes to baseball. Apparently, the two grew up playing together in the Shoreview Area Baseball League and have maintained a close relationship ever since.

“I knew the game was going to keep going or it was going to end right there,” Koehn told sports website ‘Bring Me The News’. “I knew I had to say something. Our friendship is more important than just the silly outcome of a game. I had to make sure he knew that before we celebrated. It was more instinct, it just felt right.”

These boys perfectly exemplified what parents and coaches talk about when they emphasize sportsmanship, and even though one of their seasons ended that night, just about everyone is clamoring for more of what they both showed on that field.

The 10 Best Comments of the Week 8/18

Best Comments of the Week

Every week we pan for comedy gold in the comments section of our Facebook posts. If your comment cracks us up (or warms our hearts) we’ll showcase it here!

Here’s this week’s roundup of the 10 Best Comments of the Week:

1. Personal Growth

2. Back to Fooled

3. Toto-ally

4. New Me

5. Cold

6. Stacked

7. RIP RW

8. Leg Day

9. Naptime is a Pain

10. Trained

Check out the previous edition of The Best Comments of the Week here.

Flight Becomes Private Jet for Lucky Passenger but It Never Takes Off

Vincent Peone's Private Jet Experience
(Twitter/vincentpeone)

Flying can be a chore. No one is exactly sure how early you have to get to their airport anymore, so you either arrive three hours before your flight with nothing to do but wander around an overpriced mall, or you arrive 20 minutes before your flight and have to sprint through security like you’re in a John Hughes movie.

Throw kids or connections into the mix, and it can be hell. The one small joy you hold onto is that no one will sit in the seat next to you, and you can have a reasonable amount of space, a far upgrade from being forced to fit into a seat built for a skeleton. One man got to live the most extreme version of that in a Delta flight last week, as there was no one else seated in his row. Or the row in front of him. Or any of the rows, actually, as he was THE ONLY PASSENGER ON THE PLANE.

The short flight from Aspen to Salt Lake City was rescheduled and, amazingly, New York-based director Vincent Peone was the only passenger. The Delta staff had to pile on sandbags just to help even out the weight.

It’s rare to hear a great flying story these days, and this is right up there. The Delta staff still went through all the motions and announcements for their one passenger, and he thoroughly enjoyed the private plane experience he lucked into.

“It was an altogether very fun experience with a couple of tequila sodas involved when I finally sat down,” he told the Washington Post.

A flight attendant told Peone the airline probably spent $30,000 just to send him to Salt Lake City. Hearing stories like this is important because it’s nice to know it can randomly happen. It’s important to have this aspiration every time you go through security, even if your hopes get viciously dashed the second you get to the gate of your oversold flight.

And then there was a sad update to this story, the plane had mechanical problems and it never took flight:

Grandma Texts Baby Announcement to Stranger, He Brings Baby Gifts

Dennis and his brother Deorick
(Facebook/Yung Rich)

Getting pulled into a group text message is hardly the highlight of anyone’s day. That is unless it’s close family and friends sharing great news with their loved ones. Welcoming a new addition is likely the one instance where most folks are glad to be notified.

So when new parents Lindsey and Mark Lashley welcomed their son Cason into the world, Mark’s mom Teresa, like any new grandmother, was excited to share the big news. However unbeknownst to grandma, one of her contacts had changed their phone number. Instead of Mark’s cousin, grandma was inadvertently texting updates to the number’s new owner, a total stranger named Dennis Williams.

(Yung Rich)

Teresa, who subsequently sent several updates and photos to the group, didn’t realize she had included the stranger until Dennis and his brother, Deorick, showed up at the couples hospital room bearing gifts for the newborn. The exchange and resulting visit were shared by Williams in a post that has since been shared over 200k times.

(Yung Rich)

Mark told the Daily Mail that his mother didn’t realize at the time that she was inviting a stranger up to the couple’s room. “It was different. I mean, my friend just walked in and said: ‘There are some more people coming down the hallway,’ and we didn’t know who they were and they said, ‘Oh, we’re the ones who got the random text message.’

While Mark admits he likely wouldn’t have invited strangers to see their newborn, both he and his wife for grateful for the gifts and well wishes. “I don’t think we would have randomly invited them over but we appreciate it and the gifts. You don’t hear about much compassion in the news anymore.”

With the recent “number neighbor” posts going viral on Twitter, this story is an early example of how perfect strangers can create some damn fine shareable content.