Angry Game of Thrones Fans Create Petition for a Season 8 Do-Over

GoT Petition
(Change.org/Dylan D.)

If you’ve been watching Game of Thrones this season – and let’s face it, you probably have (Shut up, Karen) – you probably have a few opinions on how things are going. You’ve spent 7 seasons with this world, nearly 10 years now, and if you’re a book reader, even longer. You’re invested in these characters and in this story, and you’re hoping for a satisfactory and yet somehow unpredictable resolution.

And some of you might be a little bit peeved at how things are going. The show’s final season, which wraps up this Sunday night, has been catching some flak from a vocal contingent of fans who don’t agree with the direction of the plot, the actions of some characters, and, perhaps most validly, the pace of it all.

And now they’re speaking out. And hoping HBO will hear them and yell “Dracarys!”

A Change.org petition is circulating around the interwebs with Thrones cans signing it in an attempt to get HBO to burn it all down and rewrite this final season.

The petition states:

David Benioff and D.B. Weiss have proven themselves to be woefully incompetent writers when they have no source material (i.e. the books) to fall back on.

This series deserves a final season that makes sense.

Subvert my expectations and make it happen, HBO!

As of this writing, the signatures were nearing half a million. That’s insane. (And with all due respect, anyone who’s read his novels The 25th Hour or City of Thieves knows that David Benioff is far from an incompetent writer.)

It’s not insane that there are that many people unhappy with the eighth season of the show – when this many people watch something, you’re bound to have a fair amount of gripes. No, what’s insane is that these people feel so entitled as to attempt to force HBO and the show’s writers and the thousands of actors and crew members who’ve spent a large portion of their lives creating this undeniably impressive work to redo it.

Fanboys have long had strong opinions about their favorite fiction, but it wasn’t until the internet, and social media, came along that they had a platform and a way for all these like-minded haters to coalesce and turn their complaints into a grassroots movement. In the past, they’d just create fan-fiction and call it a day. Now they demand that their fan-fiction become canon.

I don’t love the way the past season and a half of Game of Thrones has sacrificed the painstaking groundwork and slowly-developed character motivations in favor of spectacle and speed, but it is what it is. It’s okay to be annoyed but to demand a do-over?

You sound like Joffrey.

Henry Cavill Lives! and May Return to Play Superman in Future DC Movies

Henry is Back
(DC)

Come with me to a simpler time. It was only a few years ago, before the coronavirus, before another election was looming, before the Snydercut became real. It was just after Justice League had hit theaters and performed not so well, and it seemed Zack Snyder’s grip on DC’s movie universe was loosening, as were Ben Affleck and Henry Cavill’s roles as Batman and Superman.

Affleck did indeed leave the superhero universe, but Snyder’s demise may have been exaggerated – especially if next year’s HBO Max Snydercut performs well. And now it seems that Henry Cavill may not be done portraying the Man of Steel either.

Yesterday, news surfaced that Cavill was in negotiations to reprise his role as Superman, only, and somewhat strangely, not in a Superman movie. Talks have centered around Cavill appearing in other DCEU movies, like Shazam 2 (which featured a Cavill cameo that ended up being cut to remove his actual face), Black Adam, and Aquaman 2.

Deadline broke the news, emphasizing that Superman won’t be in Wonder Woman 1984 or Suicide Squad 2, and isn’t set to appear in Matt Reeves’s forthcoming The Batman. Beyond that, it sounds like Cavill could be coming back as Superman in future DCEU films.

On one hand, this makes sense. One of the problems the DCEU has had is forcing characters together before they’ve had a chance to breathe on their own, and having a new actor play Superman in small parts before he’s been introduced in a standalone Superman movie would be awkward at best and confusing at worse. That said, it seemed that, with the success of Wonder Woman and Aquaman, Warner Bros. was moving away from Zack Snyder’s darker vision, and retaining Henry Cavill – not to mention releasing the Snydercut – may be an indication that they aren’t entirely ready to change course.

More news is sure to come, especially since none of these movies can start – or resume – production until Hollywood is out from under COVID-19. No word yet on whether the mustache will make an appearance…

Deadpool 3 May Not Happen as Co-Creator Trolls Disney

Deadpool Trolls Disney
(Instagram/robliefeld)

Rob Liefeld is certainly a polarizing figure in the comic world. The co-creator of Deadpool has been praised and criticized in equal measure since gaining prominence in the 90s. But one thing you can say about him is he doesn’t adhere to the corporate soundbites that often plague public figures. He’s been extremely vocal about his grievance towards Disney (and, in turn, Marvel) since they purchased the rights for Deadpool from Sony. Here’s what he had to say in regards to a third Deadpool movie.

I blame Marvel…blame Marvel that that hasn’t happened yet. They are the reason it isn’t happening. Whatever conundrum or it didn’t fit into your master plan, just commission it. Okay, commission it.

He went on in another interview:

Do I know that there is no movement on a Deadpool 3 right now? I know that. Yes. And does that worry me? No. Not at all. What I did was I answered a question honestly. And what I learned this week is just lie. Just tell people everything is lollipop and unicorns and rainbows and you’ll be better off in your life because people want to be lied to. Just because some guy goes, ‘Yeah, We’re still moving along’ that’s code for ‘There’s nothing to see here.’

So in case his views on the matter weren’t adequately explained, Liefeld took to his Instagram to share a very cryptic piece of fan art that has us all scratching our heads. What could it mean???

Deadpool-Mickey-Mouse-Art-Rob-Liefeld
(Instagram/robliefeld)

It took us a while to really break down this image, but it appears that Deadpool has shot the beloved character of Micky Mouse…through the forehead….and seems to be holding him upside down by the tail. If you really look closely you can see the blood pouring out of the Disney character’s (that part is important) head.

We don’t want to be presumptuous or anything, but our gut tells us that Rob Liefeld is expressing some sort of, we’ll call it dissatisfaction, towards Disney. (Please chime in the comments below if we are missing some sort of deeper message.)

Liefeld has also taken to Twitter to point out how bad COVID-19 must be hurting Disney for them to re-open their parks at reduced capacity:

Whether or not this will affect the movement of Deadpool 3 is unclear. According to Liefeld there is no movement on Deadpool 3 even though it has already been confirmed to be in the works—and with an R-rating. Ryan Reynolds has also been optimistic. In an interview with Jimmy Fallon, Reynolds said:

“Deadpool was Fox and now it’s in the hands of Marvel over there at Disney… I see infinite possibility in either version. If Deadpool were to be in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I think it would be explosive and amazing. What a sandbox to play in. If Deadpool continued to get to just do his own thing and be his own thing, also just infinite possibilities.”

So it appears the whole project is still very much up in the air. We’ll definitely keep you updated on further developments.

Famous Dad Poems to Inspire Your Father’s Day Card Message

dad poems
Morsa Images/Getty

We know plenty of dads that are sometimes goofballs or hard-asses, but even the burliest of dads have a soft side. (You have one, too. We’ve seen it.) Some like meaningful quotes about fathers, some like funny quips about fatherhood, and some even like poetry. Luckily, poets like their dads in return and have been writing about their fathers for centuries. And even if you skip over all the ones about less-than-awesome dads, you’re still left floating in a sea of love and hero worship. Don’t you think your pops would like to see a little bit of that love when he opens his Father’s Day card this year? Hidden under a gift card, of course.

With that in mind, we’ve rounded up these fairly famous poems about dads perfect for even the least sappy pappy.

“Those Winter Sundays” by Robert Hayden

Sundays too my father got up early

and put his clothes on in the blueblack cold,

then with cracked hands that ached

from labor in the weekday weather made

banked fires blaze. No one ever thanked him.

I’d wake and hear the cold splintering, breaking.

When the rooms were warm, he’d call,

and slowly I would rise and dress,

fearing the chronic angers of that house,

Speaking indifferently to him,

who had driven out the cold

and polished my good shoes as well.

What did I know, what did I know

of love’s austere and lonely offices?

 

“Father’s Song” by Gregory Orr

Yesterday, against admonishment,

my daughter balanced on the couch back,

fell and cut her mouth.

Because I saw it happen I knew

she was not hurt, and yet

a child’s blood so red

it stops a father’s heart.

My daughter cried her tears;

I held some ice

against her lip.

That was the end of it.

Round and round: bow and kiss.

I try to teach her caution;

she tries to teach me risk.

 

“The Gift” by Li-Young Lee

To pull the metal splinter from my palm

my father recited a story in a low voice.

I watched his lovely face and not the blade.

Before the story ended, he’d removed

the iron sliver I thought I’d die from.

I can’t remember the tale,

but hear his voice still, a well

of dark water, a prayer.

And I recall his hands,

two measures of tenderness

he laid against my face,

the flames of discipline

he raised above my head.

Had you entered that afternoon

you would have thought you saw a man

planting something in a boy’s palm,

a silver tear, a tiny flame.

Had you followed that boy

you would have arrived here,

where I bend over my wife’s right hand.

Look how I shave her thumbnail down

so carefully she feels no pain.

Watch as I lift the splinter out.

I was seven when my father

took my hand like this,

and I did not hold that shard

between my fingers and think,

Metal that will bury me,

christen it Little Assassin,

Ore Going Deep for My Heart.

And I did not lift up my wound and cry,

Death visited here!

I did what a child does

when he’s given something to keep.

I kissed my father.

 

“Only A Dad” by Edgar Guest

Only a dad, with a tired face,

Coming home from the daily race,

Bringing little of gold or fame,

To show how well he has played the game,

But glad in his heart that his own rejoice

To see him come, and to hear his voice.

Only a dad, with a brood of four,

One of ten million men or more.

Plodding along in the daily strife,

Bearing the whips and the scorns of life,

With never a whimper of pain or hate,

For the sake of those who at home await.

Only a dad, neither rich nor proud,

Merely one of the surging crowd

Toiling, striving from day to day,

Facing whatever may come his way,

Silent, whenever the harsh condemn

And bearing it all for the love of them.

Only a dad, but he gives his all

To smooth the way for his children small,

Doing, with courage stern and grim,

The deeds that his father did for him.

This is the line that for him I pen,

Only a dad, but the best of men.

 

“Danse Russe” by William Carlos Williams

If I when my wife is sleeping

and the baby and Kathleen

are sleeping

and the sun is a flame-white disc

in silken mists

above shining trees,—

if I in my north room

dance naked, grotesquely

before my mirror

waving my shirt round my head

and singing softly to myself:

“I am lonely, lonely.

I was born to be lonely,

I am best so!”

If I admire my arms, my face,

my shoulders, flanks, buttocks

against the yellow drawn shades,—

Who shall say I am not

the happy genius of my household?

 

“Fish Fry Daughter” by Sara Ries

Holiday Inn kitchen, the day I am born:

My father is frying fish for a party of seventeen

when the call comes from the hospital. He stays

until the batter is crispy, cold salads scooped

on platters, rye bread buttered.

 

Dad never told me this story.

He told my boyfriend, one short order cook to another.

Mom doesn’t know why Dad was late

for her screams and sweat on the hospital bed.

 

Once, when she was angry with him, she told me:

When your father finally got there, the nurse had to tell

him to get upstairs, “Your wife is having that baby now.”

 

I hope that when Dad first held me,

it was with haddock-scented hands, apron

over his black pants still sprinkled with flour,

forehead oily from standing over the deep fryer,

telling the fish to hurry hurry.

Philadelphia Eagles Running Back Helps Dad Learn to Speak Again

Philadelphia Eagles Running Back Helps Dad Learn to Speak Again
(Getty / Steven Ryan / Stringer)

To athletes accustomed to playing in packed stadiums surrounded by the tangible energy of countless fans, this is a strange time. Let’s be honest, this is a strange time for everyone, and we’re doing our best to carve out a new normal. Sportscasters are trying to fill the void of delivering riveting sports commentary by giving play-by-plays of everyday life instead. Even the NFL is planning to emulate the feel of a real, live football game by blasting pre-recorded crowd noise into the empty stadium during televised games. Yeah, it’s not going great.

Football is in a virtual offseason since the coronavirus has made regular offseason training impossible. During this time, some teams are conducting virtual classroom-type instruction to prepare for the next season. Teams have been given permission by the NFL to send their players $1,500 in equipment to create their own home-training spaces. Most of these workouts and classroom sessions are voluntary, so it’s up to the athletes to decide how to spend their virtual offseason time.

For 25-year-old Philadelphia Eagles running back Boston Scott, this time away from the grueling day-to-day as an NFL athlete has allowed him to focus his attention on family. In 2018, Scott’s father Anthony suffered a stroke. Anthony has worked with multiple therapists over the years and regained most of his mobility on the right side of his body, but continues to struggle with his speech. Due to the coronavirus, Anthony’s speech therapist was unable to continue working with him. Fortunately, Anthony had a couple of backups, Boston and his little sister Alana, ready to take over.

Twice a week, Scott works with his father on regaining his ability to speak using both exercises he learned by watching his father’s speech therapy appointments over the years, and strategies he’s developed on his own. Scott told NJ Advance Media, “When he can’t pronounce a word, I get him to sing his ‘ABCs’, which I think is a staple in a lot of our minds. Singing your ‘ABCs,’ that’s something you can remember from your childhood.”

So twice a week, that’s where you’ll find them. Anthony and Boston, sitting at the kitchen table, practicing the ABCs. The same activity that they likely did together more than two decades earlier, this time, with Boston taking the role of teacher. Never before has the line “next time won’t you sing with me” struck such a heartwarming, love-filled chord

Labryinth Is Latest 80s Movie to Get Resurrected

Labyrinth
(TriStar)

I’ve been trying to get my 9-year-old to watch Labyrinth for two years.

I don’t know if the trailer freaked him out, or he doesn’t like movies about girls, or if David Bowie’s codpiece scared him off, but I haven’t been able to convince him yet. I will though, especially now that it’s the latest movie from my childhood to get a sequel / prequel / reboot / remake / legacyquel because news has emerged that they’re making another one.

That’s right, Labyrinth, the movie that launched Jennifer Connelly into our lives and introduced us to David Bowie’s creepy Goblin King, is getting a sequel. Released in 1986, the story of a teenage girl’s attempt to retrieve her baby brother from the land of the Goblin King will be introduced to a new generation, albeit sadly without Bowie’s villain.

Deadline reported the news, including the fact that it will be directed by Scott Derrickson, who recently left the Doctor Strange sequel and is now going into business with the Jim Henson Company, because, yes, if you have forgotten, Labyrinth is full of muppet-like monsters.

Henson’s creatures recently resurfaced in Netflix’s Dark Crystal series, which revisited the world of another creepy 80s movie. The series did well, critically at least, and now they’re moving on to more live-action fare. Unfortunately, we have no news on plot or casting, and while David Bowie is no longer with us, it would be a real missed opportunity if Jennifer Connelly doesn’t come back.

The first movie is a cult hit that has a rabid fan base who will surely have opinions on this new project as it shapes up, and even casual observers like me can’t help but wonder who they’re going to get to try to capture some of the weird charm Bowie brought to the role.

SpaceX Is Launching a Shuttle at 4:33 ET! Here’s How to Watch

SpaceX Launch
(YouTube/The Museum of Flight)

When I was a kid in the 80s, space shuttle launches were must-see TV. They were big deals, for everyone, not just kids, and everyone stopped what they were doing to see us blast people into outer space.

They kind of lost their luster after the Challenger explosion, and NASA slowly began ramping them down in general. Nowadays they just don’t happen, and when they do, there’s nowhere near as much excitement. NASA last flew a shuttle in 2011. But over the past few years, people have started to grow more interested as private companies start making forays into space travel, the most prominent of which is Elon Musk’s SpaceX company.

SpaceX is back it. Today, at 4:33 ET, the Demo-2, manned by NASA astronauts Bob Behnken and Doug Hurley, is set to launch on a voyage to the international space station. This is the first time SpaceX is using NASA astronauts, the first time NASA astronauts have flown to space commercially, and the first time Americans will enter space from America since the end of the space shuttle program nearly a decade ago.

But the window is tight. If there’s any delay in the launch, even by a minute, they’ll miss their window to get on the right trajectory toward the ISS and will have to try again on Saturday or Sunday.

Hopefully, everything will go smoothly, and we can start getting excited about space travel again!

“We have this moment in time where we can unite people again,” Jim Bridenstine, NASA’s administrator, said during a press briefing before launch. “The whole world is going to be watching this.”

There are a variety of ways to watch the launch, as listed by Entrepreneur magazine:

NASA TV

SpaceX

American Museum of Natural History

National Geographic and ABC Live

Discovery and Science Channel

The Museum of Flight

Tom Brady Splits Pants on National TV, Delivers Clutch Dad Joke To Save Face

Brady Splits Pants
(Twitter/ESPN)

Something tells me this won’t make it into the Man in the Arena documentary.

Over the weekend, Tom Brady participated in a golf competition with former NFL rival Peyton Manning and pro golfers Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson. During Sunday’s The Match: Champions for Charity, in which Brady and Mickelson put up a good fight before ultimately losing to their rivals, Brady had a bit of a wardrobe malfunction.

In an incident that could have happened to any of us – and may or may not have happened to yours truly! – he bent down to pick up a ball, and as he did, his pants split open, right on his 6-time Super Bowl-winning derriere. Unlike any time that’s happened to us, Brady’s pants tore open while he was being broadcast on national television. Somewhere, Mark “Butt Fumble” Sanchez must have been loving it.

It was an embarrassing moment, but Brady has been in pressure-filled situations before. The unflappable second-best QB of all time (Dan Marino FTW!) handled the situation with his typical clutchness and showing that he has a sense of humor just as prominent as his chin dimple.

ESPN shared a photo of the exact moment when his pants ripped, and Brady was quick to respond with a joke and a topical one at that!

Now that he’s on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Brady may not win a seventh Super Bowl, but with a new documentary hitting ESPN next year and this weekend’s successful defusion of an awkward situation, maybe the somewhat stiff QB can actually make a winning transition to the broadcast booth!

Hopefully with some pants that are a little less tight…

HEARTWARMING: Isolated Dad Befriends Robotic Lawnmower

Dad Befriends Robotic Lawnmower
(Getty/Sebastian Gollnow)

In a bid for any semblance of camaraderie outside of his family, local dad Barry McLeod has chosen to put aside his beef with the robot lawnmower and finally befriended it.

“It’s an unlikely friendship, for sure,” stated McLeod, who’d previously harbored strong animosity for the smart mower, fearing he’d eventually be rendered useless in the great robot uprising. “It can’t talk back, but the mobility gives it some appearance of sentience. Also, it isn’t my wife or kids, so that’s really cool during quarantine life. Our friendship has become so strong that we’ll be pals long after COVID-19 is in our rearview mirrors.”

McLeod, seen above sharing a cold one with his new companion, was initially hesitant of the technology, worried his passion for mowing would one day be supplanted with sheer convenience.

“I won it in a work raffle,” he continued. “I loathed it so much I didn’t even open the box. But it turned out to be a really chill piece of lawn equipment, thanks in no small part to its incapacity for speech. Doesn’t scream about Paw Patrol or ask weird hypotheticals or anything. Very cool.”

McLeod’s wife could not be reached for comment, as she was inside discussing the arts with a Roomba.

Despite being completely plausible to parents, THIS JUST IN is satire and intended for entertainment purposes only. For more stories like this one click here.

Father Figures: I Kind of Want to Puke

“When I found out I was pregnant, Griffin was in New Orleans (on Bourbon Street to be exact). I called him because I couldn’t keep the secret while he was gone.

‘I’m pregnant,’ I blurted out, crying hysterically.
I then asked, “Are you mad at me?”
He laughed hysterically.
‘Why would I be mad? This is what we wanted. I kind of want to puke but I would never be mad!’

Maybe he wanted to puke from the debauchery and not the announcement?

We’re realists, so we anticipated everything going wrong. Always better to expect the worst than be let down by complications. And then I went into labor at 28 weeks.

For three weeks in the hospital, Griffin did not leave my side. He bathed me, worked, held my hand, and took care of everything (including a burst pipe and reconstruction, nursery furniture delays, the laundry, etc.). I have never felt so loved and supported.

And then our son showed up at 32 weeks.

Griffin did not miss a day at the NICU. He was at the hospital (an hour round-trip from home) for something like 53 days including my stay. And for hours at a time, learning everything he could about NG tubes, feedings, baths, oxygen saturations, stridor, and poopy diapers.

I had low expectations… because we are realists. But Griffin has jumped into fatherhood with such zeal, it puts my love of motherhood to shame. Middle-of-the-night feedings, making bottles, cleaning bottles, cuddling his son to sleep, letting me have ‘me’ time, all while balancing working full-time and going to school at night.

He is my hero and the best life partner I could have asked for.

He still golfs too much in the summers though.”

– Heather Schiele

Check out the previous editions of Father Figures here.