You Can Now Play Classic Video Games On Your Phone, Old Man

Old school games make new school appearance

If there’s one thing old people love it’s stuff to make them feel young again.

Let me be the first to break it to you, dear child of the 80s: you are old as dirt. Sure, you still rock a sweet graphic tee and may even have (most of) your hair, but you also have kids, a mortgage and a strict 10:30 bedtime or you will be cranky AF in the morning. But just because you’re old (and again, you are), doesn’t mean you can’t play the games of your youth.

Best of all, there’s no need for a frustrating search through all that newfangled hulabaloo in the app store, Mashable did the work and found the “9 Classic Games You Need On Your IPhone.”

These games are guaranteed to bring back fond memories from when you were much cooler. Or could, at least, stay up late, playing stupid games.

(Photo by Bill O’Leary/The Washington Post via Getty Images)

The first computer game many of us had as kid tricked us into learning about American history and asking questions like, “what the hell is dysentery?” Basically, if you didn’t die on the Oregon Trail, you won. It’s just like your everyday life now, old-timer! Except, your minivan is even less bad ass than a covered wagon. And instead of dysentery, it’s probably just high cholesterol. Happy trails!

Simplicity was at the heart of many early cellphone games. Simple to learn, but a lifetime to master. And you convinced yourself you would master them! Snake was the ultimate phone game before your phone was a tiny computer in your pocket. Pretty much all your stupid phone did back then was make and receive calls, and play this one inane and insanely addictive game. Now you’re pissed when someone dares call you, instead of texting. The good news is, you can ignore them while you play Snake.

via GIPHY

I’m not sure what’s wrong with Mashable, but Pac-Man should have been number one with a Power Pellet on this list of classic games. Pac-Man is THE classic arcade game. As soon as you hear the music a wave of nostalgia hits. You can practically feel the stack of quarters in your fingers and the worn carpet under your feet as you eat or are eaten by ghosts.

As for some of the other games on the list: Battleship and Clue weren’t even computer or arcade games when you were a kid. They were board games. Why were they included, let alone the number one and two picks?? Whoever wrote the Mashable list is probably as old as you are. They must have gotten winded and just threw two extra games onto the list. Also, ignore their coloring book selection. If you’re going to get an adult coloring book, get this one with lots of fun curse words and actual paper.

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The point is: you’re old, but you can still have a good time. Go have a nice warm cup of tea (not too hot!) and play Snake or one of these other classic games. Keeping your mind active and stimulated will keep you feeling young.

Even though you’re really, really, REALLY old.

Father and Son Escape Burning Truck in the Nick of Time

(News Channel Nebraska)

19-year old Minnesota man Kobe Sammons drove 500 miles to visit his family in Nebraska. When he arrived he told to his father, Jeremy, that his ride just wasn’t running right. So his dad hopped in the truck and the two went for a drive in hopes of discovering what the problem was.

A short while later they pulled over when Jeremy noticed smoke had entered the cabin of the truck. The smoke quickly turned to heat and it became apparent the engine compartment was on fire.

That’s when both men attempted to open their doors but they would not unlock.

The father wondered if this would be their final moments together.

“I told him he would have to break the glass or kick the door open. I couldn’t help him.” the elder Sammons told News Channel Nebraska.

But eventually Kobe was able to kick the door open.

“It was in those moments. Just when it had to open, the door opened.” Kobe’s dad said.

By the time firefighters arrived the truck was completely engulfed in flames. Authorities on the scene considered that the fire may have caused the doors’ unlocking mechanism to malfunction.

The truck can easily be replaced, the important thing is that this father and son duo escaped unharmed.

75-Year-Old Volunteer Literally Takes Catnaps at Animal Shelter

(Facebook/Safe Haven Pet Sanctuary Inc.)

If you’re a cat lover you’ll probably agree that 75-year-old Wisconsinite Terry Lauerman is living the dream. He spends most days volunteering at his local animal shelter snoozing with cats.

Lauerman begins his day at Safe Haven Pet Sanctuary where he brushes any cat that needs it, then ends up catching a few z’s with his feline friends. The cats and staff at the shelter love the service Lauerman provides and so do thousands of others because of a viral Facebook post about him.

Elizabeth Feldhausen, the founder of Safe Haven Pet Sanctuary, told The Huffington Post that Lauerman never signed up to be a volunteer but just showed up one day, armed with a cat brush and dream to help some kitties.

“He just walked in and started brushing,” Feldhausen said. “So eventually we told him he was an official volunteer and had him fill out our volunteer form.”

(Facebook/Safe Haven Pet Sanctuary Inc.)

Safe Haven is a cage-free, no-kill shelter aimed at rehabilitating cats with special needs who would likely be euthanized elsewhere. Feldhausen says Lauerman usually comes in for about three hours every day—he’ll start by brushing a cat but usually ends up dozing off.

“He sleeps for about an hour, then he’ll wake up and switch cats,”

The cats aren’t the only ones benefitting from his visits, though. “He said, [the brushing is] as great of an experience for him, as it is for them,” said Feldhausen.

(Facebook/Safe Haven Pet Sanctuary Inc.)

The post about Lauerman has received tons of positive attention and according to Feldhausen, they’ve received about $20,000 in donations since the post went viral.

While Lauerman is happy to have brought so much attention to Safe Haven, he wants people to know that there are plenty of other volunteers that put in hours of hard work to make sure the cats are loved and cared for.

Unlike them, however, Lauerman can do it in his sleep.

Father Figures: So Be It

“My money is tight living here in Silicon Valley.

My daughters are both really smart and take advanced classes, which takes a shit load of money for tests, materials and such. I too play the ‘money is tight’ card around holidays and birthdays, but I work my ass off and find side jobs. As many as I can to make sure they have the best day possible on those special occasions.

If that means not buying myself anything for the rest of my life, so be it.

They always come first, and I believe they will appreciate the struggles later on in life, and they’ll be better off for it.”

– Mauro Hernandez

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Dad’s Panoramic Photo of Daughter Goes Horribly Wrong and Viral

(Twitter/sc_x_cs)

With new phones constantly boasting advancements in camera technology, it’s no wonder some people have trouble keeping up—dads in particular.

Just ask 21-year-old Twitter user Simran. She recently came to terms with the fact that her father is a bit more technologically-challenged than she realized.

Here’s how Simran appears when she’s directing the photo shoot:

While on vacation her dad attempted to snap a unique picture of her. He insisted on trying out his iPhone X’s panoramic photo mode. As you probably expect, the photo didn’t turn out quite as planned.

“My dad told me to stand by the apples because he said he discovered a new way to take pano pics vertically,” Simran told Mashable. “I agreed to it and this was the result.”

“When he saw them he said ‘they look great’ and then I saw them and completely lost it. I mean, are you kidding me? I look like an Alien,” she said.

A number of people chimed in and made fun comparisons to some pretty unflattering images.

Clearly, Simran has been a good sport and we commend her dad for a bold attempt at harnessing advanced photo technology. But perhaps he should stick with the old fashioned point-and-shoot method from now on?