“I farted…and a bit came out.”
Day going too well? Leather interior of your car looking too pristine? Why not round up the kids and give them a nice coating of sunscreen? Here are 10 hilarious tweets from parents who we assume are counting down the days until fall.
First, a fair warning.
Before you have kids someone should be required to tell you how many hours of your life will be spent applying sunscreen.
— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) June 17, 2017
First tip, get a head start the night before.
I cherish time with my kids. The best part of my day is the four hours I spend putting sunscreen on a toddler.
— Matt Ufford (@mattufford) June 17, 2016
There are ways around having to do it…
Sometimes I take my kid to daycare just so they’ll put sunscreen on him…then we go to the pool
— prints paul (@PrintsPaul) July 16, 2018
…but remember, you signed up for this.
Instructor: Welcome to our Summer with Kids Preparedness class. Our first lesson is how to apply sunscreen. Everyone grab an angry raccoon.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) August 2, 2016
Your kids aren’t gonna like it…
The face my kids make when I’m about to sunscreen their faces is the same face I make when wooden logs start rolling off an 18 wheeler that’s in front of me on the highway
— Yaron Melman (@NrouteHQ) July 19, 2018
…even if you let them do it themselves.
Lord of the Flies is loosely based on the time I let my kids put sunscreen on by themselves.
— The Dad (@thedad) June 22, 2018
Just be sure to rub it in.
My kids Face is bone white from sunscreen and he just ate a plate of French fries with loads of ketchup. Now he’s running around the beach looking like the joker.
— devon sawa (@DevonESawa) June 9, 2018
Sure, they’ll return the favor…
My prospects for being cared for in old age are pretty grim, if the effort my kids make putting sunscreen on my back is any indicator.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) August 8, 2017
…but in their own brutal way.
My 8yo was putting sunscreen on my back and said “it feels like I’m rubbing a pig”, in case anyone wonders why I’m drunk later.
— Katie Didn’t (@Pork_Chop_Hair) June 2, 2018
But if all of this seems overwhelming, remember, there is one way out:
Save money on sunscreen and outdoor toys. Raise your kids Goth.
— …And Justin For All (@Staggfilms) May 22, 2018
Get your tissues ready.
Whether she’s a toddler or a fully independent adult, a daughter is always a father’s little girl.
So when seeing her in a white gown on arguably the biggest day of her life, things are bound to get emotional. Here are 20 of our favorite photos featuring dads who couldn’t help getting a little emotional upon seeing their daughters on their wedding day.
Nothing’s better than sharing your favorite movie with your kid
“I’m not an emotional person.
I’m never overly excited, don’t yell at the TV watching football, none of that. But when it comes to my son, I’m an emotional trainwreck.
I’ve always battled anxiety and never confronted it. After my son was born, I had no choice. My anxiety is death and health-based, and my biggest fear was always dying. Well, now my biggest fear is not being there for my son if I do.
It got to the point where I actually sat him down and said “Hey bug, when i’m gone you need to take care of mom…” He was 3 at the time. I would lay at night and cry, never talking about it. After that day, I knew I needed help!
All parents’ greatest fear is not being there for their children. My father was a huge alcoholic, so I never had a role model; I just knew I wanted to be nothing like him. After I opened up to my wife and family, I got help and life has been so much better with ‘Bug’ since.
We quit smoking – FOR HIM, we go on Disney cruises – FOR HIM, we live – FOR HIM. He is my best friend, my greatest accomplishment, and my biggest challenge.
As men, we’re taught not to confront our issues, but as a man, stand up for your family by confronting your demons and becoming a better person, husband, and most importantly, father. It’s the greatest gift in the world!”
– Adam Giere
Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email email@example.com
When 6-year-old Emmett told his parents he wanted a bike, they viewed it as an opportunity to teach their son about financial responsibility and earning something himself.
“He got some old toys and stuffed animals together and put them out for sale,” Emmett’s father, Jered, recalls. “He ended up making $70 that day. He made enough to get his bike. The next day, we happened to be walking around Sam’s Club and saw this snow cone machine. He asked if we could get that instead of the bike so he could start his own business and make more money.”
Emmett’s parents agreed to loan him the extra cash needed to buy the machine on one condition: He had to sell snow cones every Saturday for at least one hour. So, with one bag of ice and three flavors, Emmett’s Snow Cones was established.
“His first time out he made $12, then $17, then $25 and he’s been hovering around there ever since,” Jered states. “He’s responsible for tracking his supplies and knowing when he needs to buy more, spending the money for all future flavor purchases, repaying us for the other half of the snow cone machine, and paying ‘taxes’.”
According to his parents, Emmett is saving most of his revenue for college; but little does he know, the “taxes” he has to pay are already going into a college fund for him.
Emmett has since graduated from three to twenty-one flavors and even gets invited to local events around town to sell his delicious wares.
“We would like our son to follow his passions in the future,” Jered says. “Our only expectation for him is to grow up to be a good person who contributes to society”
“Our daughter was born at 34 weeks and spent 29 days in the NICU.
Those 29 days were the most emotionally draining days I have ever experienced. Every day was filled with good news, bad news, hope, despair. I cannot describe the emotions I experienced when we got the call that our daughter was ready to go home.
Fast forward to today. Our daughter is almost 7 months old and is the happiest baby in the world. She is such a bright light in this dark world and my wife and I love her to death.
I know I would have probably felt the same way had she come straight home from the hospital, but those 29 days of visiting her and holding her when she was connected to monitors and tubes taught me to appreciate the little things.
The little things are the best things. Every laugh, every smile, every bottle, every time she looks at me, every milestone she reaches; it is all so wonderful and is greater than anything I could accomplish professionally.
In today’s world, you are considered a good dad if you are simply present. I understand it is difficult to do more for some people, but if all you are doing is simply being present, you are missing out.”
– Trey Scott
Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email firstname.lastname@example.org
Papa-razzi – it’s like TMZ if they only talked about dad gossip.
When your mother calls asking for your help in devising a plan behind your father’s back, you’re bound to be a little bit curious.
So when Twitter user Noor received that very call, she followed the rabbit hole until it was too late to turn back, which resulted in one of the most amazing live-tweeted family adventures the internet had ever witnessed.