Walley World.

The mere mention of those words should strike a resounding unease into the heart of every family man. Every station wagon owner. Every father who could never, in good conscience, “turn this car around.”

In 1983’s National Lampoon’s Vacation, Walley World is the fictitious amusement park that serves as the Griswold family’s Mordor: more purpose than destination. To quote the head of the Griswold fellowship himself, “This is no longer a vacation. It’s a quest.”

The premise is simple: Clark (Chevy Chase), patriarch of the Griswolds, is determined to take his wife and two kids to the aforementioned Walley World, a Disneyland counterfeit whose mascot is an anthropomorphic moose. Instead of simply boarding a no-hassle, TSA-free flight from Chicago to California, Clark insists on loading up the station wagon and embarking on a cross-country expedition chock-full of mild infidelities and homemade sandwiches soaked in dog piss.

Throughout the film, Clark wavers between all-American father figure and erratic psychopath. One minute he’s treating his family to the majesty and awe-inspiring grandeur of one of our most beloved national parks.

The next minute he’s fastening the corpse of his wife’s aunt to the top of the car.

You know. Dad stuff. 

Ultimately they arrive at Walley World, only to find out that it’s closed down for summer repairs. Clark, tired and defeated, looks within. He realizes that, maybe, life really is more about the journey than the destination. “Perhaps,” he affirms, “the ‘vacation’ was inside each of us all along.” The Griswolds hug and load back into the Griswold Family Truckster for a lengthy, retrospective voyage back to the windy city.

Just kidding. He haymakers a moose statue and then takes a security guard hostage.

The Good

Clark exhibits a lot of textbook dad behavior throughout the trip, the film’s premise being, in and of itself, inherently paternal. There’s really nothing more “dad” than stringing your family along for a trip no one but you really wants to partake in. We’re also treated to a handful of touching, fatherly moments between Clark and his son, Russ, including one scene where he hands down life advice over Russ’ first beer.

Look at ‘em. So happy. Completely oblivious to the fact they’re still some three decades away from a Cubs World Series championship.

The Bad

Did we mention the “takes a security guard hostage” thing? Because he totally does that. Really. False imprisonment of a hostage being a 3rd-degree felony punishable by up to eight years in prison under California Penal Code. I mean, look at this:

Jesus. There’s probably a bench warrant out for your arrest involving abuse of a corpse, dude. Let’s maybe dial it back a bit.

Verdict

When it’s all said and done, Clark W. Griswold is a good dad. Maybe not the dad you’d select to spearhead a 2,000-mile family road trip, but definitely the dad you want harassing an umpire from the bleachers of your little league baseball game.

He’s not perfect, but who among us can say their dad didn’t, at some point during their childhood, put their life in immediate danger for one fleeting moment of reciprocated flirting with Christie Brinkley?

That’s what I thought.

Clark Griswold’s Dad Grade: C+

From the first second you hold your child, you know there is nothing you wouldn’t do to keep them safe. A Texas dad is being hailed as a hero for living that way until his last breath, as he recently drowned while saving his two sons from a strong riptide during a family beach outing.

Josh Graham was with his two oldest boys about 50 feet offshore from his wife Angela and their other kids when it happened.

“He died a hero saving our two oldest boys from drowning in a riptide,” she wrote on the GoFundMe created for his funeral expenses and counseling for the kids.

“It feels as if this happened to someone else, like a horror movie, my worst nightmare,” she wrote. “Perhaps that is why I am able to find the strength to write this. I am torn to pieces and my soul has been ripped from my body.”

Two men were part of the group of bystanders who tried to rescue Graham. Mike Sampson and Rodney Landers both have military training in survival swimming, and eventually linked arms with other rescuers to get to Graham, but it was too late.

“He died protecting his kids, he’s the hero here,” Lampson told a local media outlet.

“His kids got stuck in that rip current. Josh is the hero,” Sanders added. “He went out there. He paid the ultimate sacrifice. He gave his life for his kids.”

The GoFundMe is raising money for the kids he leaves behind, to help with counseling and, if there’s money left over, towards their college education.

Truly a gutting story, as every dad can relate to having to jump into action to save their kid from some sort of danger, whether it’s something extreme or something as benign as yanking on the hood of a sweatshirt to stop a toddler from rambling into the street.

Dads are always willing to do whatever it takes to keep their kids safe. But it doesn’t make it any less tragic when the cost is so high.

Listen. It’s been a tough year, we get it. But you don’t have to do this. We stood by your side during the Peeps-flavored Pepsi fiasco, and we kept our mouths shut when you went through that extremely disturbing pink mac and cheese phase. Pickles and pizza don’t belong together. You’ve gone too far, and we’re worried about you.

Pizza is one of those foods that’s extremely hard to mess up. But doing so can be criminal. Dough, sauce, cheese – it’s hard to make an incredible pizza, but it’s even harder to make a terrible pizza. But by George, they’ve done it. An unsettling Food Insider video recently resurfaced on Twitter prompting people around the world to ask one important question: why?

This restaurant uses around 10 gallons of pickles weekly to make its pizza 🍕

Watch more Pizza Perfection on @PrimeVideo: https://t.co/bbwBK9AIKL pic.twitter.com/Q4Qka9MHus

— Food Insider (@FoodInsider) April 6, 2021

The video comes courtesy of Rhino’s Pizzeria in Webster, NY. The unusual pizza joint boasts one of the strangest pies we’ve ever seen – a garlic sauce and mozzarella pizza topped with an ungodly amount of thinly-sliced dill pickles. To round it out, the pie receives a generous sprinkle of dill seasoning, because why the hell not? And of course, Rhino’s suggests that visitors top their briny monstrosity with a squirt or two of ranch dressing.

I love pickles, I do. I also love mint chocolate chip ice cream, but you couldn’t pay me enough to eat it on pizza. Evidently, though, this unusual pie is a pretty big dill in New York and beyond.

“People have been coming from all over – Buffalo, Syracuse, Pennsylvania,” Chef Cindy Arena told Food Insider in the original 2018 video.

Unsurprisingly, the pizza seems to hit the spot especially well for pregnant women. I’ve seen a pregnant woman mix tuna with peanut butter though, so I’m not sure that’s a particularly solid endorsement. In a poll shared on Twitter by Food Insider, 68.7% of people said they’d be willing to try the dill-packed pie, while the other 31.3% were less than enthused. To each their own, I suppose – but if you do decide to give it a go, gum seems like a good investment.

If you’re asking yourself, “Does my kid need deodorant?” then the answer is yes. Being a dad, we probably shouldn’t have to tell you this, but just in case some non-dads are reading: Boys stink. They develop an odor over the day that’s sure to bring tears to your eyes. As a dad, you were once a boy, so you know this to be true.

And once those boys hit their teenage years, you’ll be amazed at the sudden increase in the level of stink. Dad-scented candles can’t even mask these teenage odors most of the time. The level of teenage stink is enough to make you wish a family of skunks would move into your teenager’s bedroom and freshen things up.

We know it’s not entirely their fault. As adolescents go through puberty, the sweating and odor that comes with it becomes significantly more pronounced. That’s where the best deodorant for boys can help. Deodorants block and mask odors, making them different from antiperspirants, which block sweating. When you and your child participate in workouts together, you may not want to block his sweating, as it’s the body’s natural way of cooling itself.

Rather than having the kid drown himself in perfume-y body spray (lookin’ at you, Axe commercials) the best deodorant for teen boys should be more effective at blocking the specific odors from sweating.

(If your child is suffering from excessive sweating or excessive odor from sweating, you will want to see your doctor for a potential diagnosis of osmidrosis or hyperhidrosis, which are conditions that may need a stronger level of protection than the best deodorants for boys will deliver.)

Best Deodorants for Teen Boys

MONA Brands Natural Deodorant for Boys

For young boys who have sensitive skin, applying deodorant can cause rashes and sore underarms. And the last thing you want to do is give your kid a deodorant that’s painful to apply. The MONA Brands deodorant doesn’t have baking soda, aluminum, alcohol, or talc, so it should be safe to use for boys who have sensitive skin. It has long lasting protection and will not stain clothes either.

Best of all, it is the complete opposite of the body sprays, as it only has a light scent. (And if your teenage boys have not yet discovered body spray, you can be thankful.)

Buy for $12 on Amazon

TBH Boys Deodorants for All Skin Types

Another natural deodorant for boys is this TBH brand, as it features only natural ingredients, such as charcoal, arrowroot powder, coconut oil, and witch hazel. It doesn’t have aluminum, which causes irritation for some young children. It’s fragrance-free, so your kid doesn’t have to feel self-conscious about wearing a deodorant with a strange scent.

If your son likes the TBH brand, here’s some good news: There are multiple other body cleansing products from TBH that your son also may actually want to use. It’s possible that your son will never have been cleaner. Miracles do happen.

Buy for $20 (3-pack) on Amazon

SmartyPits Mini Deodorant Sampler Pack for Boys

For picky teenagers, it sometimes may take testing out a few different deodorants to find the brand that feels the best on the skin and that provides a desirable scent (and not necessarily in that order). With this SmartyPits multi-pack of trial-size deodorants, the kid can give a few different scents a test run, seeking the best one to combat their newfound musk.

(Yeah, the musk is pretty gross. Just remember, all of us dads made it through this awkward phase of life, and your teenage boys will get through it too. It only seems like it’s been going on forever and there’s no end in sight.)

This brand of deodorant does not include aluminum, parabens, baking soda, or propylene glycol, relying on magnesium to help with problems with sensitive skin.

Buy for $22 (4-pack trial size) on Amazon

GrowingBasics Hero Deodorant for Tween Boys

Any deodorant that is brave enough to take on the armpits of the typical teenage or pre-teenage boy probably deserves to call itself by the Hero brand name. It even has a pseudo-Captain America shield with substitute colors on the front of the product to drive home the hero theme.

This Hero Tween Deodorant is free of aluminum, paraben, alcohol, sulfate, and propylene glycol, making it safe to use on sensitive skin. It doesn’t have an overwhelming scent, as it relies on an understated combination of citrus, cucumber, and amber to try to help your son ward off odor.

Buy for $15 (2-pack) on Amazon

FoodGradeOrganic Natural Organic Deodorant for Boys

Teenagers will eat a lot of crazy stuff. But when a maker of one of the best deodorants for teen boys says that its ingredients are healthy and natural enough that you could eat them, we have to draw the line. Trust us: No matter how tempting, your teenage boys will not smell any better if they eat this natural deodorant for boys.

But when used on the underarms, this all-natural boys deodorant will help kids overcome problems with B.O., while using the safest possible ingredients. The FoodGradeOrganic brand of deodorant is free of talc, propylene gylocol, alcohol, aluminum, soy, and paraben.

It’s available in original, orange, and unicorn scents. (No, we don’t want to guess what a unicorn smells like. But if it’s anything like a horse, it won’t be good.)

Buy for $14 on Amazon

Fresh Kidz Natural Deodorant for Boys

If you like products that have a name that gives you hope, in the war on the B.O. stench of boys, a product with the brand name Fresh Kidz is the perfect selection. Now we all know delivering a fresh smell for boys is a lot to ask of any one product, but this Fresh Kidz deodorant gives it a great effort.

It uses ingredients that should prevent skin irritation for the young boys, making them more comfortable with using deodorant on a daily basis. (Or maybe more often. Hourly might be a bit much, but there are certain days it’d be worth considering.)

The deodorant is free of aluminum, chemicals, and parabens, which helps it remain safe to use. It won’t stain clothing or block pores, which is ideal for kids who are involved in athletics and who need to sweat to keep the body cool.

Buy for $24 (3-pack) on Amazon

GrowingBasics Sport A Best Deodorant for Boys

For boys who have a busy day planned with traveling from one sports practice to another, having the time to shower between events is probably not possible. That means you will be trapped in the car with the stinky kid when traveling from practice to practice. (No one said parenting would be all fun times.)

Fortunately, this Sport A Best deodorant for boys promises to deliver 24-hour protection against body odor without leaving a sticky feeling and without causing skin sensitivity problems. This formula relies on a clean ocean spring scent with natural materials to deliver a pleasing smell. It is free from aluminum, paraben, talc, and sulfate. It goes on clear to prevent stains on clothing.

Buy for $15 (2-pack) on Amazon

Kobi Deodorant for Teen Boys

The majority of the best deodorant for teen boys products will have cartoonish graphics on them, trying to draw the attention of kids. So when a deodorant maker places a silly written message on the deodorant container instead of graphics, it’s going to grab our attention.

Teenage boys who don’t want to use the same cartoonish deodorants as their little brothers will appreciate this Kobi deodorant, which feels a little more adult. Fortunately, it works good too. It is available in adult-like scents including mountain mint, sweet lime, and vanilla dream that will appeal to teen boys who are wanting to act more mature.

And if the little brothers decide to “borrow” big brother’s deodorant, it’s safe enough for young boys to use too, as it’s free of baking soda, aluminum, paraben, phthalate, and artificial fragrances. (We cannot vouch for whether the little brothers will be safe from big brother’s wrath once he catches them using his deodorant, though.)

Buy for $14 on Amazon

Tom’s of Maine Wicked Cool Natural Deodorant for Boys

This Tom’s of Maine best deodorant for teen boys delivers natural ingredients and natural scents. (This natural scent is far better than the natural B.O. your teenage son will have. Trust us.) This deodorant is free of dyes, artificial fragrances, artificial colors, talc, paraffin, polyethylene glycol, and aluminum, meaning it will be safe for the sensitive skin of pre-teen and teenage boys.

It claims to provide 24-hour protection against wetness and odor, so it’s great for kids who are on the go all day long.

Buy for $12 (3-pack) on Amazon

Although we only recommend picks we really love, we may earn a commission on purchases made through links from our site.

The cannabiz is a legitimate industry now, with dozens of states having outright decriminalized or legalized marijuana. You can’t listen to a podcast or radio show without hearing the benefits of CBD. And even celebs are cashing in, with the latest being everyone’s favorite mischievously inquisitive neighbor Steve Urkel.

Actor Jaleel White, made famous as 90s nerd Steve Urkel on “Family Matters”, has launched his own brand of designer weed called ItsPurpl, including variants of the Purple Urkle strain. Maybe you’re less into the suspenders and the “Did IIIII do that?” vibes, because you’re a Stefan guy? He’s got you covered there, as the “Stefan” strain will be a cross of the Purple Urkle and a lighter-hued strain.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Jaleel White (@jaleelwhite)

White said the thing that always stood out to him was that there was no clear brand leader ‘for fire purple weed,…so why not me?’ He got connected with 710 Labs, the partner in this offering, through some chance encounters on flights and the rest is now history.

ItsPurpl launches on 4/20 (because duh) and will be on shelves in California and soon at other marketplaces. And White, a self-professed heavy smoker, said he understands the legacy of his character in the culture, and that he’s not taking his new venture lightly.

“The legacy of the character has just taken on its own life, I’ve been associated with something, an avenue of cannabis that’s respected and known,” he said. “My criteria was, ‘I cannot do this and put out a, you know, a boo-boo offering of no effort.’ ”He describes ItsPurpl as a lifestyle brand that celebrates adventure and food. “And what’s going to enhance adventure and food more than some bomb-ass weed?”

I mean, he’s got a point there, and while he delivers that line with the smoothness and suaveness of Stefan, it’s still technically a question, which harkens us back to the Urkel of yore. And that’s the blend he’s looking for by making his name in a new industry. And who wouldn’t want to support a fellow dad?

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Jaleel White (@jaleelwhite)

“My wife and I found out that we were expecting our first child two weeks before the COVID lockdown, while simultaneously learning we had to move from California to Florida over that same summer for my wife’s career.

I had never felt such a tornado of varying emotions in my life. I was no stranger to moving; I was a military child until I started college. But this was different.

My wife and I spent almost three months apart while I moved our belongings cross-country flying solo, and she stayed home with her family for health safety.

Our daughter arrived in November, we had no health insurance, I couldn’t find a job because of the pandemic (I am a chef – we got hit hard), and the panic ensued – about income and taking care of my family.

We made it through after eight months of unemployment, and times are still hard, but every day I come home I get to see my daughter Lyla’s beautiful smile, and I don’t believe for a moment that it isn’t worth everything I have.

2020, and the future I’m sure, proved more to me than all my life before that I can handle anything, but being a dad makes it all worth it.”

– Eric Jackson

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email [email protected]

The Marvel Cinematic Universe has been put on hold, at least until this summer, but the Marvel Televised Universe – or should it be the Marvel Streaming Universe? – is going strong on Disney+.

So far we’ve gotten WandaVision, are smack dab in the middle of Falcon and the Winter Soldier, and have Loki on deck – with a whole slew of other shows in development. Much of the excitement about these shows revolves around their connections to the MCU, especially in terms of introducing new characters into the firmament.

Among the most speculated about characters are the X-Men, and WandaVision fueled that fire in a variety of ways. Unfortunately, Magneto didn’t materialize, and Quicksilver’s appearance was proven to be a tease. But that doesn’t mean the X-Men aren’t coming soon.

A new rumor from That Hashtag Show suggests they may be coming very soon, in the guise of the most famous mutant of all: Wolverine.

According to THS, Marvel is currently developing a new series based around the hirsute, adamantium-clawed, borderline immortal mutant. The show is purported to be an anthology series that tackles a different storyline each season, with the first season tackling Project X. Future seasons could potentially tackle the acclaimed Japan storyline, and perhaps Old Man Logan, both of which have been touched upon one way or another in the Fox film series.

The big question any time a new Wolverine project is discussed is the question of casting, and unfortunately, these rumors have no such tidbits. This hasn’t stopped the internet from throwing names into the mix, like The Boys’ Anthony Starr and Karl Urban, Rocketman’s Taran Egerton, and more.

Obviously, Marvel is the standard for superhero stories, and everyone is dying for their takes on Wolverine and the other X-Men. The first few Fox movies were good, and Logan was great, but the MCU has a shot to Trump them all. But would they start on TV?

Frankly, the idea of Marvel introducing one of the marquee characters on Disney+ instead of on the big screen seems a bit unlikely to me, but the dominance of streaming, especially over the past year, has changed the game. Anything is possible.

Except Danny DeVito getting the role. Unfortunately.

We are currently in the middle of the NFL’s off-season, and most of the conversations around the league are about the upcoming draft. But in his latest Football Morning In America column, well-known NFL writer Peter King dropped a bomb: they’re making a movie about Saints coach Sean Payton.

Payton has been the head coach of New Orleans since 2006, and his team is undergoing some major changes this off-season after longtime QB Drew Brees announced his retirement. Together, Brees and Payton won the city’s first and only Super Bowl back in the 2009 season, which you’d think might be the subject of the movie. But no. It’s actually about Payton’s job coaching… his son’s 6th-grade team?

The movie is called “Home Team” and will focus on the 2012 season when Payton was suspended for Bountygate and spent his off-time coaching his son’s team. The movie will air on Netflix and is being produced by Adam Sandler’s production company Happy Madison. The kicker? Payton will be portrayed by Sandler crony and former King of Queens Kevin James.

James is best known for his starring role on the aforementioned King of Queens sitcom and is most mocked for his role as Paul Blart: Mall Cop, in which he plays an overweight, Segway riding mall security guard. Legendary NFL journalist Peter King pointed out that he’ll need to “drop a few pounds” to play Sean Payton, but let’s be serious here: Payton isn’t about to return kicks or make any tackles. He stands on the sideline with a headset and a clipboard, I’m sure James will be fine.

He should also fit in quite well with kids, being that he has plenty of experience starring with Sandler in the Grown-Ups movies and other less-than-Oscar friendly fare that is perfect for juvenile sensibilities. It probably won’t be too goofy, though, since king reported that payton was able to read the script and suggest some changes.

Filming hasn’t started yet, but the trash talking has, as evidenced by tweets from the Saints and Falcons official team accounts.

The Falcons mocked the casting using a familiar poster:

Can’t wait. https://t.co/QsFeS8utMX pic.twitter.com/i0rL9Q9v3x

— Atlanta Falcons (@AtlantaFalcons) April 12, 2021

And the Saints fired back:

The longest running show in Atlanta https://t.co/QDpZlCxyF5 pic.twitter.com/Zf1L2nQT8h

— New Orleans Saints (@Saints) April 12, 2021

Hopefully, the movie is as entertaining as the Saints/Falcons rivalry!

When a child goes missing, time is of the utmost importance. With each passing minute, kids are exposed to more potential danger as they stray father away from safety. No parent should have to find themselves in a situation like this – but if they do, hopefully, they have a brave and experienced team like the New York State Troopers on their side.

On a Saturday in late March, the Ontario County Sheriff’s Office received a chilling call. A 2-year-old girl had gone missing, and in all likelihood, she had slipped out of her house and wandered off. The girl’s home was just half a mile from a nearby mountain, and streams and ponds punctuated the space in between.

“These missing kids, it can go really bad. It’s time-sensitive depending on the time of year, so although it was a nice day the temperature was dropping,” New York State Trooper Brian Hotchkiss told Rochester First.

At first, Hotchkiss and the other law enforcement agents knocked on doors in the girl’s neighborhood hoping that somebody had seen the toddler in her bright pink shirt. But as the minutes ticked by, Hotchkiss and two fellow troopers made a decision – they were going to climb the nearby mountain.

In reality, it was a long shot. An entire mountain to search with only three people was a huge undertaking, and it seemed unlikely a 2-year-old could climb a mountain that took three adults an hour to climb – but the troopers were determined to leave no rock unturned.

After reaching the top, the troopers’ search continued. They scanned the tree-filled mountain top, a dense green and brown collage. Suddenly, a small splash of pink caught Hotchkiss’s eye.

“I followed the stream and I located the child,” Hotchkiss recalled. “She was lying on her stomach on a rock, and I ran over as quick as possible and I saw her arm move and I knew she was alive and my heart just dropped. I was so excited, I ran up she hugged me immediately, she wouldn’t let go.”

One of the heroic troopers wrapped the shivering girl in his uniform, and before long, the 2-year-old was safe under the care of a local hospital.

“I still can’t get that out of my head, her turning over and looking at me and throwing her hands up in the air. I’ll never forget that.”

“Jeopardy” continues to move through its interim hosts as the search continues for a permanent replacement for legend Alex Trebek. We’ve seen the favorite, Ken Jennings, we’ve seen a producer who wants the big job, and we’ve even seen an NFL quarterback. There’s one person the internet has been DEMANDING gets a shot, and it’s astonishing Jeopardy hasn’t yet listened: LeVar Burton.

It started as a petition to get the “Reading Rainbow” star a chance as an interim host, and it’s started to gain traction after Burton shared the petition himself. Then Hollywood royalty and all-around good guy Dick Van Dyke shared it. Now, Burton is actively campaigning for the spot, telling Entertainment Weekly he knows he’s the best choice.

“I don’t believe there is anyone out there who is better suited for this job than me, and I will go to my grave believing that,” he said. “I think my whole career is an advertisement for being the host of Jeopardy.”

Burton is emboldened by the overwhelming support from fans online, as more than 200,000 have signed the petition. And he rattled off his credentials to EW and honestly, it’s hard to argue against him. He cited his lifelong fandom of the show, as he started watching even before Alex Trebek was even the host. He watched the show almost every night of his life, he dominated celebrity Jeopardy when he got his shot in the 90s.

Not only is he a huge Jeopardy fan, but he is a tremendous advocate for learning and curiosity. And he brings fans from multiple demographics, from Gen X to millennials. Burton is getting more vocal about wanting a shot, saying he believes producers have to be paying attention.

“And I hope they weigh this campaign as a factor in my favor.”

Even the New York Public Library endorsed him in his bid.

Just take a look: while he can be anything, @levarburton is our pick for the next host of @Jeopardy! ☑️📚🌈 #LevarForJeopardy pic.twitter.com/87hqdjYlEB

— NY Public Library (@nypl) April 13, 2021

With a groundswell of support behind him, there’s only one question for the Jeopardy powers that be that is unaccompanied by the traditional answer-first: What are they waiting for?