DULUTH, MN – “Cool,” Anthony Stevenson remarked upon discovering that half-eaten suckers apparently belong upside down in the cupholder of his minivan. “Great,” he added.

Stevenson, the 33-year-old father of one, says it was “just fantastic” to learn his Kia Sedona’s cupholders, previously thought to only hold cups, change, and drive-thru receipts, was also the perfect place to dispose of spit-drenched sugar candy.

“A bank teller gave my son this little lollipop yesterday,” Anthony recalled, admiring the lemon Dum Dum’s natural adhesiveness to plastic.

“I assumed he’d finished it and then discard the stick in a trash can. But taking a few licks and then affixing garbage to the bottom of this hole I jam my hand into several times a day, that’s pretty sweet too. Nice.”

Stevenson says he hopes the cupholder’s new functionality will increase the vehicle’s resale value, as should the seatbelt holes that are perfect for storing goldfish crackers.

This Just In…is The Dad Faking News. Despite being completely plausible to parents, it’s satire and intended for entertainment purposes only. For more stories like this one click here.

There has been plenty of support lately for both celebrities and average guys around the country who have embraced the once dreaded “dad-bod”.

However, a minor league baseball team out of Kentucky recently took things to the next level with a hilarious homage to guys everywhere.

The Florence Freedom, part of North Kentucky’s Frontier League, celebrated Father’s day by wearing custom “dad-bod” jerseys during their matchup against the Lake Erie Crushers last Sunday night. The disturbingly realistic flesh colored uniforms came complete with plenty of faux body hair and distinctive man nipples all capped off with a tribal tramp stamp on the reverse.

While the promotional jerseys may seem a bit ridiculous to those who rarely attend a minor league baseball game, regular fans will tell you things like this are standard fare for ball clubs these days as owners continue to explore new ways to fill the stadium.

Fans in attendance during Sunday’s game were also able to bid on the jerseys worn by the players.

Happy Dad Bod Day! Shoutout to all the dads out there who are struttin' their stuff!

*Everything is on as scheduled right now!* pic.twitter.com/EzwHbMZ3qW

— FlorenceFreedom (@FlorenceFreedom) June 16, 2019

Although the game was suspended due to rain, play is scheduled to resume on July 5th, hopefully along with the return of these very custom and awe-inspiring jerseys. Here’s a clip of them in action:

Here is Wobrock’s hit in the bottom of the 6th! This allowed the Freedom to tie the game & force the game to be rescheduled to July 5th starting at top of 7! pic.twitter.com/67GhZ1KQaU

— FlorenceFreedom (@FlorenceFreedom) June 17, 2019

“I grew up with a dead beat father.

My parents split when I was 6. No matter how verbally or physically abusive he was, I didn’t want him to leave.

He treated me better than his other children. Later he disappeared, never to be heard of again. Never a birthday card, phone call or an acknowledgment for all my accomplishments.

I promised God that when my time came I would cherish my children and they would feel love that I never felt.

When our twins were born, I didn’t love them because I promised I would. I loved them because they were amazing in every way and they were helpless.

Their existence made me a better person. I set aside whatever selfish behaviors I ever had and life was about them. They saved me.”

– Edgar Montenegro

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Check out the previous editions of Father Figures here.

You probably remember a couple of weeks ago when comedian DJ Pryor and his baby son had a gibberish-filled conversation with one another. The video absolutely exploded and people couldn’t get enough, including us.

Now Pryor and his 19-month-old son, Kingston, are back and chatting it up once again, this time at their favorite breakfast spot.

Denny’s knew an opportunity when they saw one and offered to highlight the father-son duo going ham on some bacon and pancakes for Father’s Day, and the results are just as adorable as you’d imagine.

find cute baby from viral video and bring him to Denny’s … ✅ pic.twitter.com/f6BvdfnzaB

— Denny’s (@DennysDiner) June 16, 2019

Pryor shared the feature on his Instagram:

“Absolutely Blown Away!!!! We Partnered With Our Favorite Spot @Dennysdiner to have a Little Booth Chat! Very Important For Father Son Bonding. HAPPY FATHERS DAY!!!! From Mine to Yours!! Go Get A Grand Slam from Denny’s! Love Y’all!!!”

Pryor is a comedian based in Clarksville, Tennessee along with his wife, Shanieke, and children, 8-year-old Jabari and, of course, Kingston. Since all of the viral attention, he’s planning on adding more lovable dad material to his routine.

Based on these videos, it’s bound to be a gold mine.

Recess can be a socially challenging endeavor for even the most outgoing kids. Making new friends or simply walking up to a group of kids and asking them to play can seem downright daunting.

But thanks to a unique idea that has been spreading worldwide, kids now have a simple way of letting their peers know they may be looking for a friend.

In 2013, Christian Bucks, a first-grader at the time, was looking into schools overseas with his parents as his family was planning on moving to Germany. Christian came across a special bench at one of the schools and asked what it was all about. The bench had been placed to encourage kids who may need a friend to simply take a seat, letting other students know they’re looking to be included. Knowing kids who could certainly benefit from such a unique idea, Christian decided to bring one of these “buddy benches” to his current school, Roundtown Elementary in York, Pa.

While his family’s move to Germany never materialized, a buddy bench did. After convincing the school and giving a presentation to the entire community, Christian’s Buddy Bench was placed and soon the story gained national attention.

Since then, hundreds of these awesome benches have popped up from Michigan to California, mostly thanks to the efforts of kids just like Christian. The official USA Girl Scouts Instagram account recently shared a photo of a scout named Ariana who purchased one for her school with the money she earned selling cookies.

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Girl Scout Ariana used the money she raised selling cookies to buy a Buddy Bench and donate it to her school. What is a Buddy Bench, you ask? Children can decide to sit on a Buddy Bench during playtime, which signals to other children that they would like someone to talk to or play with. It's a piece of playground furniture that has the power to promote inclusion and empathy. Ariana, we💚you! @girlscoutsla #EmpathyMatters #BuddyBench #GirlScoutsRock #Innovator #Leader #FriendshipBench #GirlPower #KindnessMatters #JulietteGirlScout

A post shared by Girl Scouts (@girlscouts) on May 1, 2019 at 6:00am PDT

Thanks to the efforts of others their age, kids in districts across the country now have a safe place to go when they’re feeling lonely or just want to be included. Psychiatrist and author Carole Lieberman, tells Parents.com “Kids need buddies more than ever because their world is more confusing than ever, and they want someone to talk to about it.”

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Sisters Maya and Liberty, from Grade 3, had a great idea, inspired by the school their mother studied as a child in Canada. They decided, with other ISC Ambassadors, to create a Buddy Bench, to help students make new friends. This is how it works: a child, who is feeling lonely, can sit on the bench to signal that they need someone to play with. Once other children see their colleague at the bench, they can invite him or her to be a part of their game. #iscbrazil #everyonelearningeverywhere #buddybench #socialandemotionallearning

A post shared by ISC Brazil (@isc_brazil) on Jun 13, 2019 at 12:31pm PDT

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These two girls worked so hard on their Girl Scout take action and Bronze award projects. This buddy bench will provide a student a voice to say “I need a friend to talk to or play with”. So proud of these girls. #girlscoutsnationscapital #bronzeaward #buddybench #lesliefoxkeyserelementary #frontroyal #girlscoutjuniors

A post shared by Kristen Nies-Harper (@realtordiariesinva) on Jun 3, 2019 at 4:11am PDT

While the benefits are obvious, Dr. Lieberman says the pitfalls may not be as apparent. “Sometimes bullies can take advantage of the vulnerability of the kid who sits down hoping to make a friend,” Dr. Lieberman notes, which is why proper supervision is essential.

Shari L. Camhi, Ed.D., Superintendent at Baldwin School District in New York says the benches offer a “neutral space, where those who are more outgoing are free to befriend peers who are less inclined to initiate a relationship.”

If you or your child are interested in bringing a buddy bench to their school or community, check out the tips over at BuddyBench.org.

On Father’s Day, social media is jam-packed with dad-related well-wishes ranging from sentimental to sappy, but one of our absolute favorite posts came from Twitter user @kane.

The 25-tweet-long thread is full of heart-warming and hilarious anecdotes from Kane’s father, whom he has lovingly dubbed the “Asian Ron Swanson.”

Obviously, such a claim is bold, to say the least, but after reading about Kane’s beer-chugging, government-hating, meat-devouring father for ourselves, we agree: He’s one mustache away from everyone’s favorite Pawnee Parks & Rec director.

1/ This Father’s Day, I compiled the most on-brand anecdotes of my dad, who is basically an Asian Ron Swanson. Thread: pic.twitter.com/zlB244clSl

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

2/ My dad was trained as a military scout; growing up, we asked if we could get GPS for our cars. He insisted we learn to use paper maps and memorize routes without making marks.

Why? If you’re ever captured, you don’t want evidence of your plans.

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

3/ When we visited aquariums, my dad liked to visit the fish he had eaten or aspired to eat.

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

4/ We grew up in a very cold part of New York state. During winters, he would turn the garage into a meat locker and hang up meat. We had to make sure not to hit them with the cars.

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

5/ Related to meat and cooking, my dad thinks different kinds of kitchen knives are a scam by Big Cutlery.

He uses one huge cleaver, which he keeps honed to a razor edge, to do all his cooking.

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

6/ On the rare occasions we would eat out, my dad really liked dim sum. He had little patience for the carts and would stand by the door to the kitchen to intercept food as it came out.

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

7/ My dad really likes light beer. When my sister was graduating from BU, my dad heard that frat parties served free beer. So he wandered into one and helped himself to beer. I hear that the brothers were too bemused to kick him out so he had a few beers and left.

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

8/ One of my dad’s favorite summer time activities is squatting on the deck, smoking, drinking light beer, eating peanuts, and feeding peanuts to blue jays.

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

9/ The neighborhood blue jays started frequenting our house, which my dad liked.

Blue jays are known to be assholes. When my dad was on biz trips, his entourage of blue jays would attack our house and caw at 6 AM until someone went out to feed them peanuts.

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

10/ My dad is an engineer for the fed gov and was an emergency responder at Ground Zero and Hurrican Sandy.

But he chose to work in gov after years of private sector because “it’s basically like retirement, you don’t really do anything” (see? Ron Swanson)

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

11/ When my dad had to plan a family trip he took us to… the Robert Moses Niagara Hydroelectric Power Station.

Standing on the shore, he turned to me unprompted and said “if you ever have to work for the government, work for a utility – they generate their own revenue”

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

12/ My dad’s other favorite family trip was taking me and my little sister to the Niagara Falls Air Reserve Station and explaining military vehicles to us. pic.twitter.com/jmdqyuJBf3

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

13/ My dad bought a Rolex decades ago for work when it was on a list of certified chronometers for his engineering work.

I told him it was hip now and had appreciated, and he was flabbergasted. “Why should this appreciate when it is an obsolete technology now? That’s silly.”

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

15/ My dad’s favorite activity when we go on family trips is napping. He’ll nap in the galleries of museums, in his seat during musicals, on a bench in parks.

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

16/ My dad drove the same car for 18 years (totaled twice, not his fault) until it literally spontaneously caught fire.

The fire department (which my dad is friends with somehow) agreed to tow it for free if they could keep it as a case study.

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

17/ My dad grows a bunch of stuff: tomatoes, cucumbers, beans, peppers, zucchini, etc.

When we were little, my dad asked me and my sister to relieve ourselves into a bucket in the back yard since it was good fertilizer and free.

My mom quickly put an end to that.

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

18/ My dad works on construction sites a lot. Sometimes he’ll have a pack of Taiwanese sausage w him.

There are now groups of burly construction workers in my hometown who like Taiwanese sausage bc my dad will hand them out (w raw garlic ofc).

My dad is a sausage dealer.

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

19/ Like most 90s kids, I *love* Pokemon.

When I explained to my dad what Pokemon was, he nodded in understanding and told me he and his friends would catch and fight scorpions when he was stationed in Kuwait, and Pokemon was kind of like that.

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

20/ My dad randomly knows a lot of contemporary Native American history.

Why? He goes to the reservations to buy cigarettes and gasoline (no tax), and then hangs for a bit and smokes with the locals.

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

21/ My dad votes for whichever party is not in power. “I don’t trust any of them.”

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

22/ Like many dads, my dad tracked how tall I was on a wall. This seemed uncharacteristically sentimental.

I learned that he would bet w the local Chinese restaurant proprietor on my future height. If my dad was right, we wouldn’t have to pay for the next meal.

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

23/ My dad has this skill where he can put a steamed spare rib in his mouth, and while reading a newspaper, spit out a completely clean bone (kind of like eating a cherry). He does this at dim sum all the time.

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

24/ When I was in college, my dad found a great deal on some whiskey and tried to have some mailed to me.

I almost got in a LOT of trouble with the resident dean.

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

End/ Anyways there are an endless number of these anecdotes, but point being, thanks for everything dad. I think. ❤️ pic.twitter.com/Yn0QBNCCZ2

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

Epilogue/ one more anecdote which I just remembered:

The saddest I’ve seen my dad is when he lost a bet and had to be vegetarian for three days.

— Kane (@kane) June 16, 2019

Kane also made sure to follow up his anecdotes with additional information when necessary.

An update to the blue jays: pic.twitter.com/AVRuVYf8Rd

— Kane (@kane) June 17, 2019

Update: dad appreciates all your love.

Had to delete #14 for professional reasons. pic.twitter.com/UqDQtbpRBo

— Kane (@kane) June 17, 2019

A big Happy Father’s Day to Kane’s badass dad. We will happily enjoy a whiskey (or four) in your honor.

Parents in Disney movies often get the short end of the stick. If they aren’t neglectful or straight up evil, they usually end up kicking the bucket pretty quickly in order for the protagonist to learn a valuable lesson or whatever.

Finnish artist, Jirka Väätäinen, is known for bringing beloved Disney characters to life with his photo-realistic art styles and recently he’s been focusing on these often forgotten figures—more specifically, the dads.

Like the films, these fathers span history and cultures, and Väätäinen does an amazing job bringing them to life while retaining their signature features. And yes, they are all ridiculously handsome. . . as all dads are, right?

Tarzan’s dad, John

We don’t see or hear much about Tarzan’s late father, yet he still managed to make an impression—in part, due to his courage in defending his family, but mostly for that glorious facial hair, damn! Honestly, his personal grooming alone should have been able to slay that leopard.

Ariel’s dad, King Triton

Despite the rising trend of dad bods, this silver-maned father manages to remain ripped and cut while simultaneously running an underwater kingdom. Move over, Jason Mamoa. The original trident-wielding heartthrob is here.

Aladdin’s dad, Cassim

Only real Disney fanatics will recognize Cassim from the straight-to-VHS Aladdin sequel, Aladdin and the King of Thieves, and Väätäinen does wonders to bring this debonair dad back into the spotlight.

Pocahontas’s dad, Chief Powhatan

Another dad in a position of power, Powhatan’s quiet strength is represented perfectly in Väätäinen’s interpretation. Of course, he had to add a little warpaint just to let you know he could still totally kick your ass.

Hercules’ dad, Zeus

Another hunky dad, Disney’s Zeus quite literally has the bod of a Greek god. Väätäinen’s work maintains Zeus’s miraculous pecs while still emphasizing his joyful demeanor. He’s the dad who would accidentally crush you with a bear hug.

Ever have a serious craving for some Reese’s peanut butter cups? Totally. Who hasn’t?

Ever steal your great-grandfather’s Hyundai Santa Fe to go on a candy run? No? Well, buckle up!

A 4-year-old Minnesota boy named Sebastian did just that recently, diving the stolen SUV over a mile during morning rush hour traffic to a local gas station, all in search of peanut butter cups. Luckily, this story has a happy ending as no one, aside from a few mailboxes, was injured during the candy caper.

The mischievous youngster used his great grandfather’s walker to reach the keys, sneaking off without anyone noticing. His eyes barely able to see over the wheel, Sebastian made his way down several side streets before making it to University Avenue, a major roadway in the middle of busy morning drive time. Witnesses reported seeing the vehicle traveling erratically, rarely exceeding 15 miles per hour.

Eventually, Sebastian made it to the local SpeedWay where police arrived shortly after.

“We laugh about it, but it could’ve been very serious,” Sebastian’s great-grandfather Roy Becker told news station KMSP. “He could’ve hit a car. He wasn’t wearing a seat belt. We could be talking about a funeral.”

“I’ve never seen a driver this young before operating a vehicle,” Capt. Mark Boerboom told the TV station. Thanks to no serious injuries or property damage, most are able to joke about it now, however, all involved say parents need to be aware of how quickly things like this can happen.

The family says they now plan to lock up all car keys for the foreseeable future.

Perhaps they should consider a few packages of Reese’s in the freezer too… just in case.

Microsoft is finally unveiling details regarding its upcoming console that will compete against the PlayStation 5 and Google’s Stadia Service. This high-end console, codenamed Project Scarlett, will reportedly output 4 times more power than their current powerhouse, the Xbox One X, and “usher in resolution and framerates we’ve never seen before.”

This new project will be powerful enough to support ray-tracing (an advanced graphics rendering technique), variable refresh rate support, and up to 120fps in gameplay. It will also support 8k gaming (though, it might be harder getting your hands on a TV that will support 8k, honestly).

Like the PS5, Project Scarlett is utilizing a solid state drive (SSD) to help boost the console’s performance.

“We’ve created a new generation of SSDs. We’re using the SSD as virtual RAM,” says an Xbox spokesperson in their unveiling video.

This will result in a console that is up to 40 times faster than the current generation, cutting loading times to a fraction of what they currently are. (You’re welcome, players of massive RPGs)

Of course, new consoles are dead in the water without quality games to release with them, which is why Microsoft is making everyone knows that Halo Infinite will be launching alongside it. Hopefully, couch co-op is including this time around. [biggest side-eye ever to 343 Industries]

As with the PS5, we don’t have actual specs of what the physical Project Scarlet console will look like yet, but be on the lookout for updates in the coming months, especially when next year’s E3 rolls around.

Everyone loved Robin Williams, his energy, spontaneity, and unbridled creativity thrilled stand-up audiences, TV viewers, and moviegoers alike for decades. It was a tragedy and something of a shock to the general public when the legendary comedian took his own life.

When Robin Williams committed suicide five years ago, the world lost one of it’s brightest, most joyful presences. The loss we feel, of course, is nothing compared to what his family had to endure, including his eldest son Zak Williams.

 

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You’re a grown man now and I’m so proud of you. A little bit of you will always be my “Mr Pym”. Happy Birthday, @zakpym!

A post shared by therobinwilliams (@therobinwilliams) on Apr 11, 2014 at 11:15am PDT

On May 22nd, via an exclusive report from People, Zak and his fiancee Olivia Williams welcome their first child, and Zak paid tribute to his late father with the name they chose. The 8lb baby is named McLaurin Clement Williams, which might not sound like a tribute to Robin until you learn that the unique “McLaurin” was Zak’s father’s middle name.

Zak’s sister, Robin’s daughter Zelda, posted photos of her nephew on Instagram, in which she reveals that McLaurin will go by “Mickey.”

 

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News is finally out: I’m an auntie! 🍼 Meet Mclaurin Clement Williams, aka Mickey, aka Dr. Baby! He’s a squishably cute pterodactyl cooing tiny wonder and I love him so much already ♥️ big shoutout to Mickey on being the fastest swimmer, and huge congrats to @heyoliviajune and my big bro @zakpym on creating this little joy (and poop) factory! 👶🏻 by Zak and Olivia 📷 by me

A post shared by Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) on Jun 12, 2019 at 8:56pm PDT

Zak is an entrepreneur, but after his father took his own life, his son became a staunch mental health advocate as well. In the aftermath of his father’s death, when the actor, who had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, it was revealed that some of his symptoms were also a result of diffuse Lewy body dementia.

In an excerpt from a biography of his father, printed in Vanity Fair after his dad’s passing, Zak expressed regret over not spending more time with Robin in those final few months

I’m kicking myself for not visiting him during that time. Because I think that was a very lonely period for him. In retrospect, I feel like I should have been there, spending time with him. Because someone who needs support was not getting the support he needed.

With the birth of his son and the use of McLaurin as his son’s name, Zak is paying sweet tribute to his father.