Dad Hilariously Live-Tweets Excruciating 5th Grade Field Trip To Science Museum

Field trips are a blast. For the kids. Maybe even for the teachers, who at least get to leave the classroom for a little while. But you know who they’re not fun for? The chaperones. The class parents. The otherwise unaffiliated adults who decided to tag along to help with their kids’ class, without realizing just how hellish herding a large collection of kids in a public place can be.

Just ask one UK dad who got drafted into duty for his fifth grader’s class field trip. Well, don’t ask him, because he probably doesn’t want to talk about it. But he did tweet about it. And his commentary is hilariously, but only because we weren’t there with him.

Simon clearly knew something entertaining was in the offing, as he announced his plans to tweet the fifth grade class’s field trip to the science museum.

Just getting there took two hours on the bus – simply learning that fact alone would send me asking for the check! Two hours on a bus – each way! – with 60 10-year-olds? The only way I’m taking that field trip is if they’re being dropped at military school.

Unfortunately for Simon, he was the one who went through basic training.

These being children, there are bound to be some cheeky ones who get all up in the face of the trip’s chaperone. This being the UK, the cheekiness is undeniably British. The loudness, however, is universal.

Kids are fun, no matter which country you’re in:

Simon wasn’t exactly having fun, obviously. But it wasn’t until he was handed a special bag that he started wondering why”Bruv”‘s dad wasn’t the one on this trip!

Simon was just coming to terms with his role as Bruv’s nurse when he started to notice a bit of an odor emanating from the boys on the bus who, he’d previously mentioned, had all pretty much eaten their lunches within minutes of getting on the bus. As the dad of a 7yo, I can attest to young boys’ fondness for flatulence.

Like any dad, you can tell he can’t help but be a little impressed by the “quality” of the boys’ emissions. Unfortunately the girls on the bus reacted a bit differently.

Finally, the reason for Simon’s presence rears her head, and she seems none to pleased with him.

The overwhelmed dad ruefully shares the naive idealism with which he’d set out on this journey:

He knows better now. I think we all do.

Unfortunately, due to the internet being the internet, Simon was forced to make his Twitter private when he got some unwanted comments about his hilarious saga. These images of his tweets (h/t The Sun) are all we’re left with.

Well, that and the indelible image of Bruv nearly throwing up in his lap amid a fog of 10yo flatulence. Somebody get this guy a “The Dad” t-shirt. I do believe he’s earned it.

Tweet Roundup: 10 Funny Tweets About Putting Sunscreen On Your Kid

(Getty)

Day going too well? Leather interior of your car looking too pristine? Why not round up the kids and give them a nice coating of sunscreen? Here are 10 hilarious tweets from parents who we assume are counting down the days until fall.

First, a fair warning.

First tip, get a head start the night before.

There are ways around having to do it…

…but remember, you signed up for this.

Your kids aren’t gonna like it…

…even if you let them do it themselves.

Just be sure to rub it in.

Sure, they’ll return the favor…

…but in their own brutal way.

But if all of this seems overwhelming, remember, there is one way out:

20 Heartwarming Photos Of Dads Seeing Their Daughters In Wedding Dresses For First Time

(kristin brown photography)

Get your tissues ready.

Whether she’s a toddler or a fully independent adult, a daughter is always a father’s little girl.

So when seeing her in a white gown on arguably the biggest day of her life, things are bound to get emotional.  Here are 20 of our favorite photos featuring dads who couldn’t help getting a little emotional upon seeing their daughters on their wedding day.

Father Figures: Emotional Rescue

“I’m not an emotional person.

I’m never overly excited, don’t yell at the TV watching football, none of that. But when it comes to my son, I’m an emotional trainwreck.

I’ve always battled anxiety and never confronted it. After my son was born, I had no choice. My anxiety is death and health-based, and my biggest fear was always dying. Well, now my biggest fear is not being there for my son if I do.

It got to the point where I actually sat him down and said “Hey bug, when i’m gone you need to take care of mom…” He was 3 at the time. I would lay at night and cry, never talking about it. After that day, I knew I needed help!

All parents’ greatest fear is not being there for their children. My father was a huge alcoholic, so I never had a role model; I just knew I wanted to be nothing like him. After I opened up to my wife and family, I got help and life has been so much better with ‘Bug’ since.

We quit smoking – FOR HIM, we go on Disney cruises – FOR HIM, we live – FOR HIM. He is my best friend, my greatest accomplishment, and my biggest challenge.

As men, we’re taught not to confront our issues, but as a man, stand up for your family by confronting your demons and becoming a better person, husband, and most importantly, father. It’s the greatest gift in the world!”

– Adam Giere

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Parents Surprised When 6-Year-Old Creates Lucrative Business After A Simple Lesson About Money

(Bored Panda)

When 6-year-old Emmett told his parents he wanted a bike, they viewed it as an opportunity to teach their son about financial responsibility and earning something himself.

(Bored Panda)

“He got some old toys and stuffed animals together and put them out for sale,” Emmett’s father, Jered, recalls. “He ended up making $70 that day. He made enough to get his bike. The next day, we happened to be walking around Sam’s Club and saw this snow cone machine. He asked if we could get that instead of the bike so he could start his own business and make more money.”

(Bored Panda)

Emmett’s parents agreed to loan him the extra cash needed to buy the machine on one condition: He had to sell snow cones every Saturday for at least one hour. So, with one bag of ice and three flavors, Emmett’s Snow Cones was established.

(Bored Panda)

“His first time out he made $12, then $17, then $25 and he’s been hovering around there ever since,” Jered states. “He’s responsible for tracking his supplies and knowing when he needs to buy more, spending the money for all future flavor purchases, repaying us for the other half of the snow cone machine, and paying ‘taxes’.”

According to his parents, Emmett is saving most of his revenue for college; but little does he know, the “taxes” he has to pay are already going into a college fund for him.

(Bored Panda)

Emmett has since graduated from three to twenty-one flavors and even gets invited to local events around town to sell his delicious wares.

(Bored Panda)

“We would like our son to follow his passions in the future,” Jered says. “Our only expectation for him is to grow up to be a good person who contributes to society”

(Bored Panda)

 

Father Figures: The Little Things

“Our daughter was born at 34 weeks and spent 29 days in the NICU.

Those 29 days were the most emotionally draining days I have ever experienced. Every day was filled with good news, bad news, hope, despair. I cannot describe the emotions I experienced when we got the call that our daughter was ready to go home.

Fast forward to today. Our daughter is almost 7 months old and is the happiest baby in the world. She is such a bright light in this dark world and my wife and I love her to death.

I know I would have probably felt the same way had she come straight home from the hospital, but those 29 days of visiting her and holding her when she was connected to monitors and tubes taught me to appreciate the little things.

The little things are the best things. Every laugh, every smile, every bottle, every time she looks at me, every milestone she reaches; it is all so wonderful and is greater than anything I could accomplish professionally.

In today’s world, you are considered a good dad if you are simply present. I understand it is difficult to do more for some people, but if all you are doing is simply being present, you are missing out.”

– Trey Scott

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Mom Asks Daughter If She Can “Keep A Secret” From Her Father And Things Escalate Spectacularly

(Twitter/Himynameisnoor & Getty/ljubaphoto)

When your mother calls asking for your help in devising a plan behind your father’s back, you’re bound to be a little bit curious.

So when Twitter user Noor received that very call, she followed the rabbit hole until it was too late to turn back, which resulted in one of the most amazing live-tweeted family adventures the internet had ever witnessed.