Feeling Down? Let This KitKat Story Cheer You Up

(hoto by: Newscast/UIG via Getty Images)

(Imagine I’m sitting backwards on a chair for this first part.) Listen up, dads. We all get sad sometimes. We all get frustrated, angry, and downright sad. Tough day at work. Grueling weekend with the kids. Life feels bleak sometimes and that’s okay. Now, bearing that fact in mind, I want to tell you all a story that cheers me up when I’m not in best form. Whenever I think of it I smile, and other people I have told it to have said the same.

Next time you’re feeling less than your best, maybe this story will do you a big cheer up.

First off, here’s the context. A friend of mine told me this story seven years ago. The protagonist was her sister’s friend, but for the purposes of coherent storytelling let’s call her “my friend.” Actually, let’s name her. Why the hell not? Let’s call her… what’s a good name? Charly. That’ll do.

My friend, Charly, was on a train. She was sitting at one of those seats that have a shared table between them, and she had a relatively long journey ahead of her. She got out her book and placed it on the table. She got a KitKat (other confectionary products available) out of her pocket and placed that next to the book. She settled into her chair, and looked out of the window. Here is a recreation of the scene. This isn’t Charly, but because I am showing you the gif you now understand what looking out of the window might look like.

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At the next station, a man got on the train and sat opposite her. I’ve never considered that this man might also have a name so I’m a little thrown here, but fuck it let’s give him a name too. This man, Leighton (good name choice, Tom, I can hear you saying) did what Charly did and put his belongings on the table too. A newspaper, a muffin.

Now, Charly is reading her book, carrying on as you would expect, keeping herself to herself. At some point in the journey she notices something from the corner of her eye. Leighton was eating her KitKat. The bastard literally picked her KitKat up from the table, opened it, and took one of the fingers. And he ate it.

Charly was raging. If this was a cartoon, steam would be pouring out of her ears. She was furious. 

(Source: GIPHY)

But did she say anything? Absolutely not. That would be confrontational, and nobody likes that. She did want to take her revenge though. So, without hesitation, she grabbed the other half of the KitKat and stuffed it in her mouth. She ate it with fury in her eyes, staring at Leighton. He seemed slightly taken aback by her, presumably because she was eating like a complete psychopath.

She went back to silently staring out of the window in a fit of rage. The train journey was fairly lengthy so she had plenty of time to let her fury develop fully as she rode along the tracks. Eventually, she reached her station.

Charly stood up, and gathered her belongings. But she was still furious. She wanted to teach Leighton a lesson about respecting other people’s space, respecting their property, respecting boundaries. And then she noticed his muffin, still sat on the table. Without a second thought, Charly did the only thing any self-respecting person could do in that situation: she punched that muffin.

(Source: GIPHY)

That’s right. She gathered all her strength, and she punched that muffin right into the table, smashing it to bits. Leighton looked horrified. “Take that, you knobhead,” she thought to herself, as she picked the crumbs from between her fingers. Then, she turned, hopped off the train, and watched it pull away. She had won. She had taught him a lesson, and she could continue her day basking in the glow of victory.

As Charly went to leave the station, she went to grab her ticket from her coat pocket. But wait? There was something else in there… Her KitKat.

That’s right, lads. My friend Charly stole some poor bastard’s KitKat.

So the next time life isn’t going your way and you think things couldn’t get any worse, just remember, at least you didn’t steal a grown man’s candy and then look into his eyes and punch his muffin in a fit of rage.

As you were.

Artist Wife Illustrates The Drastic Ways Her Husband’s Life Changed After Kids

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Chen Weng, an illustrator who goes by the name The Messycow, has created a series of comics showing just how much things change when one becomes a father.

Which do you relate to most?

(Facebook/MesscowComics)
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(Facebook/MesscowComics)

Check out more from this series on The Messycow’s Facebook page and website.

Dad Dinosaur: Prehistoric Reunion

Dad Dinosaur’s high school reunion is fast approaching, but will he be able to win the big dance contest – or are his moves stuck in the past?

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Father Figures: Risky Business

“As the garage door closed behind me, I heard a muffled whimper.

“What is that?” I wondered. Another whimper and I noticed eight fingers on the lid of one of the garbage cans in the corner. I spy a set of eyes, then a nose and finally my oldest son’s face.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

“What happened? Where is your brother?” No answers, just sobbing.

He moped toward the door and I followed him into the kitchen. I half-expected to see CSI investigators hovering over a chalk outline.

We walked around the corner by the refrigerator, and only then did I see his brother and allow myself to take my first breath. Then I saw a hole in the drywall the size of a young boy’s torso.

They had been running & sliding, in their stocking feet, across the marbled kitchen floor. Obviously a bit too exuberantly! I was relieved that they were both okay, but I still mustered enough anger to quash any future escapades.

Each blamed the other, of course. I used to say I couldn’t always tell when my kids were lying, but I could always tell when they were telling the truth.

If that makes any sense to you, I’m guessing you’ve raised at least two boys.”

  • Ron Fuller

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Son Surprises Ailing Dad With Tickets To College World Series

Father’s Day is a special time to celebrate your old man, and show him how much you appreciate the role he’s played in your life all these years. Especially since, as we get older, our dads do too, and they may not have many Father’s Days left.

Matt Lea recognized that this Father’s Day, and so went out of his way to make it a memorable one, for both him and his father, both former college baseball players who bonded over the game as Matt was growing up.

Matt’s father Billy suffers from Alzheimer’s Disease, and the symptoms have been accruing rapidly. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t time for more memories, and Matt used the latest Father’s Day as an opportunity to do just that. The 36-year-old drove 12 hours, from Florida to Mississippi, and surprised his parents at their doorstep on Sunday.

He was bearing gifts as well, bringing his dad the jersey of his favorite baseball team, Mississippi State. But that wasn’t all. Matt brought tickets too, to see the College World Series in Omaha in person.

In video of the exchange that Matt posted on Twitter, his dad was clearly taken by surprise.

“I figured it’s probably not good enough just for us to watch the game here,” Matt says in the video as he produces the tickets. “How about we go to Omaha? Do you want to go up to Omaha and watch the College World Series together?”

“Golly,” an emotional Billy responds. “You’re gonna break my heart, here.”

Matt’s gift for his dad received a rapturous response from Twitter, where it’s been liked 46,000 times and retweeted 11,000 times.

Matt seemed as surprised by the response as his dad was by the gift, as everyone who celebrated Father’s Day yesterday knows, there’s nothing better than sharing meaningful memories with your dad, which is exactly what Matt did. An article on Omaha.com details Billy’s baseball past, the initial diagnosis of his Alzheimer’s, the VIP experience Matt treated him too over the weekend.

Matt’s Twitter account showcased the rest.

Happy Father’s Day!

Amazing Street Artist Uses Everyday Objects As His Canvas

(Twitter/tombobnyc)

Artist Tom Bob doesn’t see the world like other people. Where you and I might see sewer grates or metal pipes, he sees ghosts and saxophone players.

Check out some of the amazing ways he’s transforming parts of New York City into works of art.

(Twitter/tombobnyc)
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(Twitter/tombobnyc)

Check out more of Tom Bob and his unique artwork here.

Father Figures: Heroes

“On February 2, 2011, my daughter was born. The whole thing started pretty normally about 2:30 am or so, my wife woke me up and said, ‘Honey, it is time to go,’ so we went to the hospital in a snowstorm.

That was the easy part.

When they put the belly monitor on her they noticed that the babies heart rate would drop to low whenever my wife would have a contraction. She needed emergency C-section, but the doctor could not make it due to the storm, and when he finally arrived it was rush rush rush!
Well when my daughter Emily did arrive, she had internal bleeding throughout her body, which included two grade 4 brain bleeds. We could not touch her because she would bruise and start bleeding.
They had to life-flight her to the university, where she spent 5 1/2 weeks in the NICU, which left her (you may want to sit down) deaf/blind, with hydrocephalus, a shunt, cerebral palsy, and seizures (at age 6, she needed a baclofen pump because her CP got too bad to handle without it). She is doing great today. She is happy, loves life, and everyone who meets her says that she makes their day and she is beautiful.
To pay back our little community, I became a first responder, mostly a firefighter, but I did help with EMS. Never got my certification, but that is where I found out that in the U.S. we do not have any training for first responders to deal with children with special needs.
I have made it my personal mission to teach first responders about kids with special needs.
I have taken to Emily to every EMS/Fire station in the five counties around me. I have taken her to the police and sheriff’s departments to train them, and now I have a waiting list to get trained.
I don’t know if I am the hero here, but I needed to tell the story.”

– Mike Kuyper

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Low Cost Cosplay Guy Makes The World A Better Place

(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)

Anucha “Cha” Saengchart, the genius behind “Low Cost Cosplay,” has amassed millions of followers with his incredible reimaginings of famous fictional characters.

Whether you’re planning on portraying your favorite anime character or a Marvel superhero, this guy can show you how to do it effectively and on a string budget.

(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
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(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
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(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)
(Facebook/Lowcostcosplay)

Can’t get enough? Check out more creative cosplay on his Facebook page.