Four Genuine Conspiracy Theories And One I Made Up

(Getty/Bobby Bank and Rune Hellestad - Corbis)

“The Moon Landing was fake! Princess Diana was killed by the Queen! Justin Bieber is a lizard!”

We all love a ridiculous conspiracy theory, right? We all think they are dumb, right? And yet, sometimes, one of them seems to have a little more to it, right? Right.

Hopefully none of you believe any of the theories in the list below, because they are all, to use a scientific term, fucking mental. To illustrate this point, I have made one up myself. I’m not gonna tell you which one, obviously.

Last Thursdayism

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The best thing about Last Thursdayism is that it is also known as Last Tuesdayism or Last Wednesdayism.

Basically, this one centers on the concept that the universe was only created X amount of time ago (Last Thursday) and will be created again in X amount of time (Next Thursday). Everything you remember from pre-Thursday was formed at the creation of the universe last week. The Church of Last Thursday believe that your actions during the last week will determine whether or not you will be admitted into paradise.

However, there are different strands of the… I hesitate to call it a religion, but let’s say it anyway. There are different strands of the religion. Some believe that the universe is repeatedly created by a higher being or God as a means to test humanity and determine the end destination for the souls. However, others believe that the universe was created by you the individual as a test for yourself, and you receive a reward or a punishment as a result.

Some of the more bizarre (that’s right, because the rest of it wasn’t bizarre enough) elements of Last Thursdayism are:

  • That left-handedness is a sin
  • That everyone but you were placed here and pre-programme to act as parts of your test environment
  • That everyone knows this but you

Red Haired People are Literal Angels

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You can probably guess what the concept behind this one is, but it takes a little unpicking. Essentially, there is a theory that claims red-haired people are angels sent by God to live among us and basically keep an eye out. Obviously God can’t be everywhere all the time, and needs a little help.

The reason why we don’t all know this is because Satanists and/or the illuminati (depending on who you listen to) have been hiding it. They have been covering up historic works of art that depict angels as having red hair, and they have been ridiculing red-haired people in the media for years, in a bid to undermine Christianity.

Probably the best thing about this theory is that some people have highlighted how angels are always depicted as having fair, very pale skin. You can connect the dots yourself.

Keanu Reeves is Immortal

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It doesn’t have a fancy name, but it does what it says on the tin: there are some people who believe that Keanu Reeves is immortal.

Apparently you can look at portraits of men throughout the ages and see a number of paintings with a striking resemblance to the actor. Add in the fact that he doesn’t look like he has aged over the past 25 years and maybe they’re onto something…

Keanu said in an interview once that he didn’t care about money because he had earned enough to keep him “comfortable for a couple of centuries”. If that isn’t an admission then I don’t know what is.

There’s also a theory that Nicolas Cage is a vampire, so maybe lets tie the two together and say that Reeves is a Dracula too. Why not?

Hollow Earth Theory

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There are a couple of different strands on Hollow Earth Theory, but they both revolve around the idea that, yep you guessed it, the earth is hollow.

One version suggests that we live on the external surface of the earth, but that there are communities of people living on a smaller earth inside ours on different layers. As far as I can make out, this strand doesn’t have a particular name, but it should definitely be called the Russian Doll Theory.

It’s kind of crazy to think that that version isn’t the most batshit version of Hollow Earth Theory, but it genuinely might not be. That’s because there is another version that says that our universe is insular and held within the Earth. We live in the inside surface of the planet, and when we look up and out to the stars, we are actually looking in towards the core. Essentially it’s like imagining we live inside a giant ball.

This second version is known as a Concave Hollow Earth. One of the most mental parts about it is that Adolf Hitler was apparently influenced by Concave Hollow Earth theory and tried to spy on the British naval fleet by pointing infrared cameras up at the sky.

Hollow Earth theory was a commonly believed until around the 18th century when it was dispelled by, y’know, science. But obviously that doesn’t stop some people from being complete nutters and believing it still.

The Mandela Effect

(Source: GIPHY)

The Mandela Effect is basically about false memories. It is named after Nelson Mandela. Apparently (I wasn’t alive then), everyone remembered Mandela dying in prison. But then he got released from prison, and everyone was confused as heck.

Now, the Mandela Effect theorizes that the reason a group of people would all misremember an event is because there are multiple different realities. These memories are created a time traveller of sorts changing history and creating a new timeline. Some of us have then, somehow, moved between the realities, and still remember things that happen in our first timeline that never happened in the second.

There are loads of examples of this in advertising and media. For example, Berenstain Bears vs Berenstein, Febreze vs Febreeze, and whether or not Pikachu had a black mark on the end of its tail.

The theory of false memories has been about for a long time, but it was firmly established in 2010 and renamed as the Mandela Effect by Fiona Broome. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Is Fiona Broome qualified to make such a statement?!” Well, I don’t know about you, but if ANYONE is qualified enough to suggest there are time travellers and alternate realities messing with us, it’s a “paranormal consultant”.

Which one was made up? How’s about which one wasn’t?

So, obviously the one I made up was the one about red headed people being angels. Or was it Hollow Earth? Wait… was it Keanu? Oh Christ, I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole. I’m in too deep. The theories… they all… make sense?! No, obviously they don’t, they are all complete and utter bullshit, and the the one I made up was the one about angels.

Don’t believe things you read online, lads.

LEGO Celebrates The Mandalorian Season 2 With Life-Size 14,000 Piece Baby Yoda

LEGO Baby Yoda Big Build
(YouTube/LEGO)

LEGO has given us a huge array of Star Wars sets over the years, ranging from simple to over-the-top elaborate. The LEGO Star Wars partnership began in 1999, but due to the massive success of the iconic collaboration, LEGO has extended the partnership with Lucasfilm multiple times. Fortunately, we get to enjoy the sweet fruits of this match made in Alderaan until at least 2022.

The people at LEGO are extremely good at keeping up with the latest trends, releasing multiple sets based on The Mandalorian in under a year since the hugely successful series’ premiere. However, the first LEGO Mandalorian set was missing one very important character – Baby Yoda.

Baby Yoda quickly became the adorable, scrunchy little face of the Disney+ series, so its absence from the set was noticeable. LEGO remedied the situation by giving Baby Yoda its very own set. Though Baby Yoda isn’t actually the younger version of the wise old Yoda we know and love, Mandalorian fans quickly took a liking to The Child – maybe because whatever species these little green guys are, they’re freaking cute.

Over 1,000 pieces to build your very own LEGO Baby Yoda is a pretty sweet tribute – but how does 14,000 LEGO bricks sound? Big, it sounds big. And it is – in fact, LEGO celebrated the release of The Mandalorian season 2 by building a life-size version of The Child (a little over 22 inches tall). If you’re going to bring another Baby Yoda into the world, it’s important to make sure the little guy’s comfortable. Aside from building The Child himself, the LEGO masters built him his very own floating pod.

“Patience you must have,” real Yoda reminded us – and we’re pretty sure he was talking about this. Three master LEGO builders put this set together as a team, and it took a whopping total of 119 hours.

LEGO posted a video of the build on YouTube, but fortunately, they condensed 119 hours down to 55 seconds. The caption read, “‘The Child’ is back in Season 2 of The Mandalorian. Watch this video of our master builders creating a scale LEGO model of the galaxy’s cutest co-pilot.”

“Why did we build the cutest co-pilot in the galaxy?” LEGO’s video asked, which is truly an excellent question.

“Because this is the way!” An extremely on-brand answer that’s The Mandalorian equivalent of “because I said so.”

Regardless of the real reason, big Baby Yoda is cool as heck. Don’t forget to watch the Season 2 premiere of The Mandalorian on October 30 on Disney+, and if you’re planning on attempting your very own Big Build, may the force be with you.

Disney+ Lands Oscar Isaac on Marvel’s Moon Knight Show

oscar isaac is moon knight
(Getty/Francois G. Durand Marvel)

Last year, in the aftermath of Endgame and the end of the Infinity Stones saga, Marvel Studios laid out their plans for the future of the MCU.

Aside from the various movies that are still yet to see the light of day (Black Widow, The Eternals), and Thor and Dr. Strange sequels, they announced the WandaVision, Falcon and Winter Soldier, and Loki TV shows for Disney+. We know now that Hawkeye and Nick Fury are getting shows too, but not everyone on Disney+ will be from the movies.

Marvel also announced shows for lesser-known characters like She-Hulk and Ms. Marvel, which were recently cast, and someone called Moon Knight, a fan-favorite character who is a mercenary/vigilante/consultant (?) and is also a conduit for an Egyptian god named Khonshu.

Keanu Reeves was rumored to be in the running, but it looks like the former Resistance member, Oscar Isaac, is in. The Star Wars star has signed onto Disney+’s Moon Knight series, and aside from Samuel Jackson joining the platform, Isaac may be the biggest star Disney+ has.

Isaac is a talented actor who was nominated for an Oscar for the Coen Brothers’ Inside Llewyn Davis and has split his time between the Star Wars trilogy and prestige projects from respected directors like Alex Garland, JC Chandor, and Denis Villeneuve, with whom Isaac made the forthcoming Dune.

Isaac isn’t the first movie star to move to television, and he surely won’t be the last. Over the past decade, the divide between the TV and movie ecosystems has all but disappeared, and with the future of movie theaters in doubt, thanks to the impact of the coronavirus and the explosion of streaming, more and more box office stars may be taking refuge in TV projects.

As long as the people doing TV are as bad-ass as Oscar Isaac, I don’t have a problem with it. It’s also easy to see a future in which Isaac takes Moon Knight from Disney+ to the big screen, if and when movies come back. It’s hard to believe they’d grab such a big name for a minor character and keep him corralled to the small screen.

No word yet on when production will start.

He’s Back: Arnold Schwarzenegger Recovers From Second Heart Surgery

Arnold Back after Second Surgery
(Twitter/Schwarzenegger)

“I’ll be back.” The iconic phrase was made famous by Arnold in 1984 while playing a time-traveling robot assassin. He went on to use it in 7 other movies and then in real life after waking up from his first heart surgery in 2018.

He’s clearly a man of his word.

Arnold revealed on social media over the weekend he’s feeling “fantastic” after having an aortic valve replacement. The legendary actor and former politician thanked the doctors at the Cleveland Clinic for their work and posted a thumbs-up pic of him in the hospital recovery room. It won’t be long before he’s back Terminating trolls.

“I feel fantastic and have already been walking the streets of Cleveland enjoying your amazing statues. Thank you to every doc and nurse on my team!”


The heart surgery was a planned follow-up to the one he had in 2018 to replace a pulmonary valve. Both surgeries stem from Arnold’s congenital heart defect. Schwarzenegger also posted a few pictures of him walking around the city after his procedure, drawing some warnings from his kids in the comment section.

His son, Patrick, begged his dad not to work out. “❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️PLEASE DONT GO WORKOUT TODAY!!” he commented on the post.

His daughter Katherine showed her support with hearts, and his youngest son Joseph also sent his support, “Love you dad! How are you already hitting a lat spread???” he wrote on Instagram.

It wasn’t just his family sending good vibes his way, as even his co-star from the 2008 blockbuster hit True Lies (ok it was 1994, the real date just makes me feel old), Jamie Lee Curtis shared a sweet sentiment for her former co-star.

NASA Found Water on the Moon

Moon Water
(Twitter/NASA)

NASA revealed some major news Monday, announcing they have discovered water on the moon. And, possibly, like, a lot of it. This news was blasted across the NASA communication matrix, including an emoji-filled tweet, which doesn’t feel like the most authentic way to broadcast a major scientific discovery but hey, it is 2020.

It’s been a terrible year on Earth, but a cool year for space. We got confirmation the Pentagon recovered “off-world vehicles” and a chicken nugget became the first of its kind to reach space.

And now we have moon water.

In a press conference, NASA discussed the two groundbreaking studies and the accompanying data to back up the discovery of water on the sunlit side of the moon, along with the possibility that there is much more water than previously believed (or hypothesized) on the moon.

“For the first time, water has been confirmed to be present on the sunlit surface of the moon,” said the director of the astrophysics division at NASA’s Science Mission Directorate during the press conference.

“We had indications that H2O — the familiar water we know — might be present on the sunlit side of the moon. Now we know it is there. This discovery challenges our understanding of the lunar surface and raises intriguing questions about resources relevant for deep space exploration.”

The agency detected the water with the Stratospheric Observatory for Infrared Astronomy airborne telescope. The SOFIA is basically a plane with a huge telescope in it. And it has space geeks excited that water can exist in the harsh circumstances on the surface of the moon and the possibility we could use more of the moon’s resources in future explorations.

Not only could we drink the moon water, if we were ever seriously planning to colonize the moon, having a source of water is absolutely essential for the splash park (no society can exist without one).

Monday’s announcement also included data from a second study that hypothesized many dark pockets on the moon could be filled with moon ice (some of these have been in darkness for billions of years). Further study needs to be done to map out just how much water is on the moon, but from a science standpoint, it was a big breakthrough for NASA.

Frozen Foods Company Makes History by Sending the First Chicken Nugget to Space

Nugget Launched into Space
(Facebook/Iceland Foods)

One small trip for a chicken nugget, one giant leap for the only food my kids will eat. A frozen-foods company made history this year by launching the first chicken nugget into space. The nugget now joins the elite class of various astronauts and assorted animals as the first of their kind to leave the planet.

Iceland Foods was the British company that celebrated their 50th anniversary by launching it into space. It’s been a great year for space, with the news the Pentagon had recovered off-world vehicles and the NASA dads making their trip outta here in a SpaceX vehicle. And now, this:

The company used a space-marketing company (which…is a thing that exists, I guess) to launch their nugget, which was secured to a weather balloon and cameras during its ascent miles into the atmosphere. It reached an altitude of 111,000 feet, which the company said translated into about 880,000 nuggets. The best part is you can watch it float away, and then come crashing back down to earth (at a speed of 200 mph) as all dreamers do eventually.

The nugget looked to be in good shape, especially as it hit temperatures approaching negative 100 degrees, but there is no word yet on what “out of this world” tastes like.

Father of Three Decorates Thousands of Lunch Bags With Dad Jokes

Dad decorates sandwich bags with dad jokes
(Instagram/sandwichbagdad)

Dave Blumenthal, a 44-year-old father of three knows how to make lunch memorable for his daughters. It’s not what’s inside the paper lunch bags that make his daughters’ school lunches special, but oddly enough, it’s what’s on the outside that counts. Though he has no formal training, Blumenthal is an artist – an artist that combines his love for his daughters with his never-ending supply of dad jokes. For over 8 years, Dave Blumenthal has been turning his daughters’ lunch bags into hilarious works of art.

It all started with a sandwich when Dave and his wife’s first daughter went off to school. “We had a newborn in the house at the time so my wife tried to make our first born feel special by cutting some shapes in her school lunch sandwiches,” Dave explained.

Dave soon took over the sandwich-cutting duty, carving the bread into shapes of cartoon characters and letters of the alphabet much to the delight of his daughter and her classmates. Once the bread-carving became too time-consuming, Dave decided to draw directly on the bags themselves – and he hasn’t stopped since.

 

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The bag reveal became a highly-anticipated moment in the school day for both teachers and students, sparking conversations, and even helping Dave’s oldest daughter overcome her shyness. Despite their success in the classroom, Dave didn’t have any intention of expanding his lunch bag project. That is, until his daughter’s teacher convinced him to share his hilarious jokes with the world. Shortly after, Sandwich Bag Dad was born.

 

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“I am honestly still amazed that my humble little bag drawings have attracted so much attention,” Dave marveled. “I seriously never expected to gain any followers – other than my family – when I first started posting. My kids still shake their head that there are so many people who voluntarily choose ‘the sandwichbagdad experience.’”

 

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It’s immediately evident why Dave’s sandwich bags have attracted almost 7,000 Instagram followers – between the unique take on dad jokes, the impressive art, and the fact that he does it all for his kids, it’s a truly wholesome undertaking. Though some people find it hard to believe, these entertaining sandwich bags do indeed fulfill their intended purpose.

 

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Dave explained, “The bags are absolutely and positively genuine lunch bags which my kids take to school! All my posts are just the ‘before’ pics. While some end up being hung up on their classroom walls, the vast majority end up coming home crumbled and very much worse for wear after holding a sandwich in them for a few hours. Most end up being tossed into the recycling!”

Though Dave is often encouraged to expand his “sandwichbagdad” empire, he has no plans to do so at this point in time. “At the moment, I’m just happy making people smile and knowing my dadjoke superpowers are being used for good not evil!”

 

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For a concentrated dose of dad jokes, follow him on Instagram.

UFC GOAT Retires After Victory Citing The Loss of His Father

khabib nurmagomedov retires
(Twitter/UFC/ Instagram/khabib_nurmagomedov)

One of the greatest mixed martial artists in UFC history is stepping away from the sport at his pinnacle, and he’s citing the loss of his dad and coach earlier this year as the reason for his retirement. Make no mistake, unbeaten UFC lightweight champion Khabib Nurmagomedov is the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world, and he retires unbeaten with a perfect 29-0 record. He announced his retirement immediately after defeating Justin Gaethje in a title match on Saturday. A match he won despite BREAKING HIS FOOT before the fight.

“This is my last fight. There’s no way I’m going to be back without my father,” he said. “ I spoke to my mother. She don’t know how I fight without father, but I promised it’s going to be my last fight, and if I give my word, I have to follow it.”

His dad, Abdulmanap, passed away in July from COVID-related complications. His dad was his longtime trainer and coach, and Khabib will walk away from the Octagon rather than continuing to defend the title without a key member of his team.


As word of his retirement spread, UFC stars poured in tributes to Khabib, who will go down in history as one of the greatest ever. Dana White was quick to call him the best pound-for-pound fighter in the game right now. He went even further, calling him the GOAT in the sport’s history.


Any mention of the word “GOAT” and of course, there’s going to be a debate, but no one can really challenge that he was the greatest lightweight champion the sport has ever seen. And he was the best fighter his dad worked with, but not the only, as the UFC now has a number of fighters that got their start in Russia thanks to him.


He was emotional in the Octagon after his win, and while it may seem crazy to some to walk away in your prime, it doesn’t to those who how close the two were.

Khabib learned the sport from his dad, and even his trainers acknowledge the major presence he had on his son. In fact, Khabib’s relationship with his dad seemed stronger than most, as he even called his dad his best friend and once told a reporter after a win that his advice for youngsters would be “respect your parents.”

Sister Creates Disney at Home After Little Brother’s Trip Was Canceled by COVID

Sister's at home disney experience
(The Dad Break)

In the grand scheme of what COVID-19 has done to our country, a missed vacation may not seem like a big deal. But to an 8-year-old desperately looking forward to a trip to DisneyWorld, it’s everything. And his older sister was determined to give him that trip, even if it meant making it happen without leaving the house.

10-year-old Ella’s goal was to give her little brother with Down syndrome the best at-home Disney trip possible, even if it meant the rides would be virtual. Other families have done the at-home Disney thing on a smaller scale during the pandemic, but none quite as well as Ella pulled it off. Her mom told Good Morning America she spent six weeks planning it for him, and included four ride experiences, an ice cream cart with Mickey Bars, and even nailed the perfect background music.

As you can see in the video, shared by The Dad, he had an awesome time. It’s the type of heartwarming gesture you hope to see in your own kids someday.

It’s just the best. That’s all you can really say about it. The type of thing that restores your faith in humanity, and the type of content that makes you feel a little bit better about how people are taking care of the loved ones in their world.

Father Figures: All of the Things

“This my dad. He has done such a good job raising me and my brother as a single Dad.

He put my hair up in a ponytail when I was little; he found a pad for me when I got my first period – when we were in an airport! (after that he made sure to pack pads in first aid kits just in case); he took me to get my eyebrows done for the first time when my eyebrows were getting really bushy with puberty…

He did all of the things!

He worked late into the nights so he could be around to coach my high school softball team, and he was so proud when I graduated from Notre Dame, where he went to school.

He is the best and I love him so much.”

– Rachel Twist