Are you stressed enough? Do you have enough to do? Are the holidays hectic and harried enough already? If you answered “hell no!” to any or all of those questions, I have the perfect solution for you.

Elf on the Shelf!

Oh, I’m sorry, you’ve been there, done that? You’re an old pro at elaborately positioning the elf for maximum hilarity, and exaggerated surveillance, all through the holiday season? Your kids are well-conditioned to fear his impish gaze, filled with anxiety that he’s reporting their every misdeed to Santa Claus?

Allow me to be, in the words of one of America’s greatest Christmas heroes, the monkey in the wrench.

The Elf on the Shelf now has a family. If you want it to.

A company called My Magical Moments provides extra elves and accessories to complete your Elf on the Shelf’s sad little life. You can furnish the creepy peeper with a spouse, with babies, with costumes – including a karate outfit and a robe – and even with all the extra furniture having a family necessitates, like a high chair and a crib.

Does this seem like more trouble than it’s worth? Probably. But at least these accessories are relatively cheap. Besides, if you’re anything like most people who made the mistake of opting-in on the Elf on the Shelf phenomenon and are now scrambling to move the stupid thing every night if you even remember in the first place, you probably hate the Elf. You probably want a little payback for having had your December ruined by its high-maintenance ass!

What better way to destroy your Elf’s life than by saddling it with a bunch of little elf brats and all their attendant items?

Not only can you get some revenge on the obnoxious doll that’s ruining your life, you suddenly have an ironclad excuse when your kid wants to know why the Elf didn’t move. Look, kid, you wouldn’t move much either if you’d been up 6 times that night trying to get Baby on the Shelf to go the fuck to sleep! The elf is exhausted!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some elf babies to buy.

Having a child diagnosed with cancer is one of the most gutting things a parent can experience. It’s one of life’s most vicious and senseless cruelties to see your kid suffer fighting a deadly disease. This is why every parent can relate to the joy and happiness when a child overcomes the disease. The story of a 4-year-old boy in Virginia was making the rounds recently for his unique celebration marking the end of his cancer battle. After he was in remission, he got to ring the bell on his firefighter dad’s fire truck.

Nolan Turner celebrated being cancer-free by donning a fire helmet and ringing the large silver bell on the fire truck outside the Children’s Hospital. He was surrounded by his parents, extended family and friends, and hospital staffers.

His teary-eyed dad told a local news station that ‘crossing the finish line is a great feeling’, he said. “It’s just so amazing watching him overcome this adversity with a smile on his face.”

Dad called his son a “true fighter”, and said Nolan wants to grow up to be a firefighter too. His dad’s firefighter buddies have been part of the support network the family was especially grateful for, and they even made several trips to his hospital while he was undergoing treatment. The boy wasn’t allowed to have any visitors outside of his parents, so the fire trucks raised ladders with signs of support for Nolan to raise his spirits.

Just a powerful and cathartic moment to see their son triumphantly ring that bell, and it’s the sort of thing that causes the allergies of any dad to act up (if you prefer a cutting onions reference, feel free to swap that in).

Thanks to our political climate, people often turn to pop culture to make sense of what’s going on in the world. Things aren’t exactly peachy these days, and thus various dystopian movies, TV shows, and books are being referenced in relation to the pandemic and our political circumstances.

As social media continues to assert its dominance, both in driving conversations and shutting down particular voices, one particular work has been getting more and more play, and that’s George Orwell’s classic tale of totalitarianism, conformity, and disinformation: 1984.

It’s a great book, in which many parallels can be found with today’s climate, regardless of your own political persuasion, but unlike other dystopian works like Brave New World or Fahrenheit 451, it hasn’t gotten a pop culture makeover in quite a while (unless you’re a theatergoer). Until now.

1984 is getting a TV adaptation, but instead of adapting straight from the novel, the planned five-part miniseries will work off of the 2013 stage play from Robert Icke and Duncan Macmillan.

“As the world grapples with democracy and government in our divided age of surveillance, ‘fake news’ and truth decay, the urgency of Orwell’s masterpiece is undeniable,” the pair said in a statement (via Deadline) “The small screen feels like a natural home for his portrait of a society in which people trust their screens more than the world outside their windows.”

Apparently, that 2013 staged version has a bit of a reputation for its intense and bloody torture sequences (the book employed a very literal ‘rat in a cage,’ shouts to Billy Corgan), which caused some audience members to recoil – and made actress Jennifer Lawrence throw up during her visit to see Olivia Wilde in the Broadway production.

Whether the TV show will adhere to those levels of intensity is yet to be seen, but there’s no denying the show’s modern-day relevance, even if most of the people claiming we’re currently living under Big Brother’s watch haven’t actually read it.

It was a big day for wizardry, as The Hollywood Reporter broke the news that HBO Max is developing a live-action Harry Potter series. The beloved book franchise has spawned 10 blockbuster movies appeared headed for the streaming world for a series set in the Harry Potter world.

We’re in a full-fledged era of streaming wars, as each service tries to one-up the competition and dethrone Netflix. NBC moved The Office to Peacock, Disney+ is releasing a million Marvel and Star Wars shows, and HBO Max is getting all Warner Bros movies the same day they are released in theaters. And now, HBO Max is working to add some magic to their offerings.

Exclusive: #HarryPotter live-action TV series in early development at HBO Max https://t.co/A0nvuDhpaG pic.twitter.com/YASjFMm1Pg

— The Hollywood Reporter (@THR) January 25, 2021

Rumors say the project is in the very early stages and that executives are deep in conversations with several different writers exploring TV possibilities, as the project is a high priority item for HBO Max. Yet, when The Wrap contacted HBO and Warner they got this response:

“There are no ‘Harry Potter’ series in development at the studio or on the streaming platform.”

But that may be because they haven’t committed to one of the pitches they’ve been soliciting.

Or maybe it’s all a bunch of Hogwarts hogwash!

There would still be plenty of speed bumps for a future series, including a complicated rights deal with NBC that doesn’t expire for several years. Another wrinkle is the involvement of author J.K. Rowling, who still has a say in any spin-off productions. Still, with the highly popular IP, and the clear efforts from the streamer to find an angle to return the Harry Potter world, it looks like only a matter of time before wizards will become cool again.

If you’ve been looking for a magic button to help you get through the day, the Coca-Cola company has heard your call and delivered a first of its kind: a coffee cola. Coca-Cola With Coffee is already in cans and available now, it’s set to change the beverage game. Why? Not just because it’s a first, but because it’s good…like, really good, according to reports.

Announced last summer, the product has officially hit grocery stores throughout North America after being tested in dozens of international markets. Here are the important details: it’s 100% Brazilian coffee mixed with the Coca-Cola you know and love, not just some bizarro coffee-flavored pop (are we going with soda or with pop these days?). There are three flavors; dark blend, vanilla, and caramel. There’s also a zero sugar, calorie-free option.

JUST IN: @CocaCola launches Coca-Cola with Coffee in cans in Dark Blend, Vanilla and Caramel and Coca-Cola with Coffee Zero Sugar in Dark Blend and Vanilla.

Predicting this will be one of Coca-Cola’s biggest success stories. Drink is fantastic. pic.twitter.com/ctVpjV34KN

— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) January 25, 2021

Supposedly it “sips like a Coke, finishes like a coffee” according to a spokesman. The true key here, it’s got a LOT more caffeine than your regular Coke. But still not quite as much as a 12-ounce cup of coffee (the 69 milligrams of caffeine is around half of the 12-ounce coffee), so it hits that perfect middle ground.

“In preliminary consumer testing, more than 80 percent of consumers who tried it said they would buy it,” a spokesman said in a press release. “Our customers would take a sip and immediately ask, “When can we have this?” The answer is NOW. It’s in stores everywhere and will be integrated into the daily routine for parents who need a lift in no time. Unless you’re one of those saints who has successfully given up soda (raises hand smugly) but is still addicted to drinking too much coffee anyway (raises hand shamefully).

For the rest of us, it could be just the ticket we need to power us through those afternoon lulls and gets us to the finish line that much sweeter.

It was one of the best series on TV and then…it wasn’t. Few shows saw an unraveling after a series finale (and last few seasons, if we’re being totally honest) quite like “Dexter” on Showtime, but now, the gang is getting back together to fix those mistakes.

Here’s what we know, and it’s the most important thing: the 10-episode revival is not picking up where the story left off (thank god), which means Dexter is NOT A LUMBERJACK anymore. The controversial series finale had the vigilante faking his own death and starting a new life on the west coast as a lumberjack, which was deeply unsatisfying to many fans. So, like, just forget that, because the revival is picking up years later

Surprise Motherfucker.
He’s back. #Dexter pic.twitter.com/EDXov06rot

— Dexter on Showtime (@SHO_Dexter) October 14, 2020

The revival WON’T be going back to Miami either, as it’s set to take place in a fictional upstate New York town. Clancy Brown (Highlander, The Shawshank Redemption, Starship Troopers) is signed on to play the antagonist, and only a handful of other characters are known at this time. Of course, the main one, series star Michael C. Hall is back, obvs, and he too was frustrated by the finale.

“Let’s be real, people found the way that show left things pretty unsatisfying, and there’s always been a hope that a story would emerge that would be worth telling,” Hall told reporters. “I include myself in the group of people that wondered what the hell happened to that guy, so I’m excited to step back into it.”

It’s also clear it isn’t being rushed, as Hall said he and the show’s creators have bantered around ideas for years, but Hall never thought it was the right time. This time, they found an idea they really liked, and one Hall thought was a better fit for the character.

Hall said “I think in this case, the story that’s being told is worth telling in a way others weren’t, and I think enough time has passed where it’s become intriguing in a way that wasn’t before.”

The show is in production now and will air in the fall. It sounds really promising and will give fans of the original series (you know, before it fell apart) hope for a much more satisfying close.

In the midst of the nightmare that was 2020, there were a handful of bright spots. A bunch of movies landed on streaming services to help us survive, Taylor Swift graced us with two new albums, and Rick Moranis re-emerged into the spotlight after having taken years off to raise his kids.

The one-time megastar who started on SCTV starred in Strange Brew, headlined the Honey I Shrunk the Kids trilogy, and co-starred in Ghostbusters and Spaceballs, pulled back from Hollywood after his wife passed from cancer. Now that his kids are grown, he’s making a return to the industry, most notably in the forthcoming legacy-quel to Honey I Shrunk the Kids on Disney+.

Despite the imminent arrival of a new Ghostbusters film that exists in the same universe as the original movies and will feature cameos from some of the original cast, Moranis is not supposed to appear. Or is he?

Ernie Hudson, who suited up alongside Bill Murray, Dan Akyroyd, and Harold Ramis, was recently asked if Moranis makes an appearance in the new movie, and he didn’t exactly say no…

During a chat with Living Life Fearless, he was asked point black, and he dodged the question. “I think the studios probably want to hold that one,” Hudson said. “I love Rick. But yeah, I’ll let them share that.”

Moranis hasn’t spilled the beans, but he has expressed a willingness to dive back into work – but that the female-led Ghostbusters movie didn’t pique his interest.

“I’m interested in anything that I would find interesting. I still get the occasional query about a film or television role, and as soon as one comes along that piques my interest, I’ll probably do it,” Moranis told The Hollywood Reporter in 2015. “[But Ghostbusters 2016] didn’t appeal to me.”

If Hudson is playing coy and Moranis is returning, it’s a pretty well-kept secret. Bill Murray himself even denied it when he guested on Ellen, saying, “”We’re missing Rick Moranis and we’re missing Harold Ramis,” Murray said. “And they’re greatly missed for so many reasons. They were so much a part of the creation of it and the fun of it. But Harold is featured in the story of the movie, so it’s going to be very interesting.”

Maybe the movie’s delay, which was made necessary due to the pandemic, afforded a little extra time to find a way to get Moranis into the film. Or maybe the cast are just great at bluffing!

Either way, we’ll have to wait til this summer to find out, when Ghostbusters: Afterlife premieres. But you can tie yourself over with some crazy Facts About Rick Moranis.

This has been one heck of a year. A freaking pandemic, all the political junk we never want to think about again, there’s a lot going on – and realistically, no person is fully equipped to handle it all. We’ve become accustomed to checking in on our loved ones even more than usual because it’s important to make sure the people we care about are holding it together as well as they possibly can. On a recent check-in, we were reminded that cries for help can come in a million different packages. Sometimes a questionable fad is nothing more than a questionable fad, but uh, we wanted to make sure you’re doing ok out there.

Nearly a year of quarantine has left even the biggest homebodies longing for the days of attending a party for a couple of hours before making an excuse to leave. We’ve had to come up with new and creative ways to stay busy, occasionally leading us to some pretty ridiculous situations. Or in this case, some ridiculous facial hair. The latest beard trend of 2021 is not entirely unexpected, given our deep desire for some sort of novelty during these monotonous days. Recently, photos featuring something called a “monkey tail beard” have been popping up on social media, and it’s – well, it’s exactly what it sounds like.

 

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The bizarre facial hairdo features a single sideburn that essentially runs down the side of your face, swoops down around your chin, and circles upwards over one side of your mouth ending in some sort of long-winded moustache.

 

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The trend first popped up in 2019 when MLB’s Mike Fiers showed up sporting the monkey tail beard, and we cannot stress this enough, he did it for laughs. Now, the monkey tail beard is making waves on social media by people who look suspiciously serious about it.

I need all of my non-baseball fan followers to look at mike fiers’ monkey tail beard. thank you. pic.twitter.com/0o3lcH7bjz

— Hobotron (@Hobotron2000) September 15, 2019

Listen, we get it. It’s a weird time, and we’re all just trying to make it through. If what you need to spread your creative wings within the confines of your own home is this thoroughly bananas look, more power to you – sometimes you really just need to monkey around and find out. All we ask is if you do decide to take the plunge, please photograph the evidence.

 

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A post shared by @sortadandy

“This is my husband, Jesse, and our son, 24 hours after getting off ECMO from his heart surgery.

Our son is 5 months old and almost went into cardiac arrest two days after surgery and was placed on life support. Jesse has always pushed himself to be the best father, husband, and father figure.

He took care of me while I was battling Stage 4 Non Hodgkins Lymphoma our first year of marriage and now he is providing love and strength for our son in our third year of marriage. The obstacles that have been thrown his way have only made him love harder.

Our son is still fighting but getting stronger every day, and hearing his father’s voice, I believe, has been pushing him to get better. He is full of strength and love and deserves to be recognized for everything he has done and continues to do.

He’s my hero.

To all the good dads doing amazing things for their families, Jesse is right there with you.”

– Kirsten Boyer

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email [email protected]

With all of the real-world hullabaloo over the past few months, you may have forgotten that there is a Godzilla extended universe out there.

The modern-day Monsterverse started with Garth Edwards’ new Godzilla movie back in 2014, then there was Skull Island, featuring King Kong, which was a prequel that used a post-credits stinger to reveal its connection to the Godzilla movie, which got a sequel in Godzilla: King of the Monsters. In that one, the big lizard fought classic enemies Rodan, Mothra, and Ghidora, but now he’s facing his most formidable foe, the giant ape himself.

The two king monsters are coming head to head in the forthcoming Godzilla vs. Kong, directed by Adam Wingard (The Guest), in which Kong looks like the child-befriending gentle giant good guy, and the quiet, angry Godzilla is having none of it. The two go head to head while the almost-incidental humans in the story (including Alexander Skarsgaard, Rebecca Hall, and Coach Taylor) seek to uncover ancient mysteries surrounding the two behemoths.

I’m not convinced the pair won’t eventually team up to fight some larger foe, but there’s no real hint of that in the trailer, which focuses on their no-holds-barred brawl.

Check it out: