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James Dean to Be Digitally Resurrected and It’s Tearing Me Apart

By Mike Julianelle
James Dean Digitally Resurrected
(Warner Bros YouTube/Sinema Tutkunu)

I remember a vacuum commercial that featured a CGI version of Fred Astaire dancing with the household appliance. I also remember the hullabaloo that followed, from people worried that icons of film and television would soon, through the magic of computer technology and special effects, have their images sullied by being digitally resurrected for all manner of nefarious, i.e., commercial reasons.

It’s been a while since that commercial aired, and special effects have come a long way since then. And yet there hasn’t been a huge surge in the usage of dead celebrities. Unless you count Tupac’s hologram. Or The Irishman.

But now the nightmare those naysayers feared seems to finally be coming to pass with the news that Hollywood legend and Rebel Without Cause James Dean will indeed be digitally resurrected as the star of a new film about the Vietnam War.

Despite dying in a car crash in 1955, at the young age of 24, the star of just three Hollywood films (Rebel Without a Cause, East of Eden, and Giant), looks to be headlining a fourth. Some 65 years after he passed. And it’s tearing me apart.

Directors Anton Ernst and Tati Golykh decided they needed the dead actor to play a lead role in Finding Jacks, a drama about a soldier who is forced to leave his canine companion behind – along with 10,000 others – when the U.S. military pulls out of Vietnam after the war. It’s based on a novel by Gareth Crocker.

“We searched high and low for the perfect character to portray the role of Rogan, which has some extreme complex character arcs, and after months of research, we decided on James Dean,” Ernst told the Hollywood Reporter.

Ernst’s production house, Magic City Films, got permission – not from a Ouija board, but from Dean’s family.

“We feel very honoured that his family supports us and will take every precaution to ensure that his legacy as one of the most epic film stars to date is kept firmly intact. The family views this as his fourth movie, a movie he never got to make. We do not intend to let his fans down.”

We’ll see?

“[A] realistic version of James Dean” will be created using “full body CGI” based on existing footage and photos.

This, of course, may bring about the very thing Fred Astaire’s vacuum commercial presaged, and based on comments from Mark Roesler, CEO of CMG Worldwide, which represents Dean’s family and nearly 2000 other celebrities, dead and alive. “This opens up a whole new opportunity for many of our clients who are no longer with us,” he said.

This is indeed a disturbing universe. We can only hope Dean doesn’t show up looking like the train conductor in The Polar Express, with those lifeless eyes. Black eyes, like a doll’s eyes.

Other actors have already started to voice their digital disapproval:

PBR Is Selling 99-Packs Just In Time for Thanksgiving

By Mike Julianelle
Pabst 99 Cans
(Instagram/betacollective)

Ah, the holidays. That magical time of year when you give thanks, celebrate, and try to ignore your drunk uncle Toby between helpings of mashed potatoes.

Things are tense right now. The country is divided, opinions can’t be reconciled, arguments ensue. Is Joker a good movie? Shouldn’t Mason Rudolph be suspended too? Ok Boomer.

Mingling with family members both nuclear and extended can be fraught with tension. Thankfully, an old friend is here to save the day.

Beer! Specifically, Pabst Blue Ribbon beer. And don’t worry, they’ve got enough for everyone.

Just in time for your trip over the river and through the woods to Grandmother’s house, PBR has released a 99-pack of beer. That’s right. 99 bottles cans of beer to help you power through dinner and pass out before the Thursday night NFL game.

Take a look at this thing:

It will run you $175, require at least 3 people and 2 refrigerators to carry and store, and contains three kinds of PBR: Original, Easy, and Extra. (To be perfectly honest, I had no idea there was more than one kind of PBR, but with 99 cans, a little variety is fine with me.)

For now, it’s only available in the following states: Texas, Massachusetts, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Minnesota, Florida, New York, South Carolina, Montana, Virginia, California, Wisconsin, Iowa, Arkansas, and Colorado. It may expand, but until it does, maybe taking a little detour on the way to the in-laws would be a good idea? For some reinforcements. Just a thought.

Teen With Autism Surprised With Visit From Polar Express Conductor

By Devin Holdraker
Teen with autism receives special visit
(Facebook/ Angie Swartout)

Autism can make things very difficult for those on the spectrum, as well as their family and friends. Public events and activities can present unique challenges that often require unique solutions. Thankfully, there are good people all around us who go the extra mile to ensure all people have the opportunity to enjoy life to their fullest. 

So when 18-year-old Ty Swartout was recently unable to attend a special event, staffers and volunteers came together in an incredible way to make his dream become a reality.

A huge fan of “The Polar Express”, Ty makes a point to watch the movie monthly and has read the book literally hundreds of times over. So when Ty’s grandparents found out that the Polar Express rolls down the tracks just four hours away from his home, the couple planned a visit for the family.

While the trip to get to The Grand Canyon Hotel’s Polar Express went as planned, upon arrival, Ty was simply too overwhelmed to actually board the infamous train he has loved for so many years. After overcoming two prior meltdowns, Ty and his family were unable to enjoy the ride. But that didn’t stop the train staff from refusing to leave without him. After his parents insisted they continue on, the train departed. “The staff of the Grand Canyon Railway tried so hard to help,” Ty’s mother Angie wrote in a Facebook post.

“They even held the train. Finally, I had to say let’s go back to the room. Angie admitting the initial disappointment was devastating. “I cried all the way back. My heart was shattered,” she says. “I wanted this so badly for my son.”

However, upon arriving back at the hotel, the family had a knock on their door. It was a hotel staffer popping by to check in on Ty. The hotel assisted the family in rebooking their visit with free special needs accommodations. But that was only the beginning, as moments later, another visitor came knocking. While angie and Ty were curled up reading the book, the real-life conductor from the train entered in full attire. “He sat next to Ty’s bed and chatted with him. Ty was star struck. He was so excited and happy. Then the conductor gave Ty his pocket watch! They said that they wanted everyone to experience something special and magical.”

“They succeeded,” she continued. “We may not have gotten to ride a train but we got something even more magical… We got the gift of human kindness!”

With the holidays just around the corner, this serves as a simple reminder of how a small gesture can truly have a massive impact on not only those involved directly but to anyone who encounters the act as well. 

No, a Joker Sequel Isn’t Happening Yet, But Let’s Be Serious

By Mike Julianelle
No Joker Sequel, Yet
(Warner Bros)

It probably isn’t going to surprise you, but remember that Joker movie that came out like two weeks ago and broke all sorts of box office records, toppling the two Deadpool movies to become the highest-grossing R-rated movie of all time?

Well, guess what? It’s probably getting a sequel.

Shocking, I know. Usually, when something makes money, Hollywood gives it a round of applause and goes back to the drawing board to create original content, right? I kid, I kid. Everyone knew as soon as Joker made a mint on opening weekend that Hollywood was not only going to be making 50 different, increasingly bad versions of it over the next 5 years but that despite the director’s initial hesitations, there would be a sequel.

I’m not casting aspersions here. I enjoyed Joker just fine – though there’s absolutely zero chance we’d be having this discussion if it were a movie called “Arthur Fleck” or “Taxi Driver, Only Not” and had nothing to do with Batman. Besides if someone wanted to pay me millions of dollars to write a sequel to one of my The Dad articles, I’d sell out in about 3 seconds, especially if it was this one (DM me!).

Anyway, according to the Hollywood Reporter, director Todd Phillips (Hangover 3) and writer Scott Silver are in talks to bring the further adventures of Arthur Fleck to the big screen, though Deadline refutes it:

At this point there are no deals for a sequel, nor even any negotiations with director Todd Phillips or his co-writer Scott Silver to craft one.

Whatever.

Everyone knows this is going to happen, but what will it look like? Will Batman show up? Will it somehow tie into Matt Reeves’ The Batman? Who knows? But after a collection of hits and misses (mostly misses) with their DC comics characters, Warner Bros. has to at least be thinking about tying Fleck into the larger DCEU, right?

I personally prefer the idea of different directors taking one-off shots at various characters from the stable, without being beholden to continuity or uniting via one singular tone. You can’t out-Marvel Marvel! I say stick with the weird non-comic book movie comic book movie thing Phillips did with Joker. The Hollywood Reporter article even said that Phillips inititally pitched a series of origin stories for DC characters, but that has also been refuted. I say forget origin stories, just do standalone stories!

Can David Fincher direct a Zodiac-type movie in which Clark Kent investigates Lex Luthor’s ties to the corrupt government? Maybe Adrian Lyne can do something with Wonder Woman’s love life or Cronenberg can do a body-horror thing with Hawkman?

I’m just spit-balling here.

Walter-White-Wanna-Be Chemistry Professors Get Reaction From Police

By Mike Julianelle
Real Life Walter White
(AMC / Inside Edition)

Most of the time, when we worry about television being a bad influence, it’s about our kids repeating swear words, or taking up smoking. Adults should be old enough and mature enough to know the difference between fact and fiction, and to avoid emulating some of the behavior they see on TV.

Emphasis on “should be,” because there are a couple of guys in Arkansas who definitely didn’t get the memo. At least they have good taste?

Two college chemistry professors were busted by cops for following in the footsteps of one Walter White, the chemistry teacher turned meth kingpin in Breaking Bad. Bradley Allen Rowland, 40, and Terry Bateman, 45, both associate professors of chemistry at Henderson State University in Arkadelphia, Arkansas, were arrested last week for manufacturing methamphetamine. One of them even was even known as “Henderson’s Heisenberg,” thanks to a mention in the college paper, in which he said he appreciated Breaking Bad for helping kids get interested in chemistry.

Not everything is the same, though. For one, they’re college professors, not high school. For another, they didn’t cook in an RV. No, these geniuses used a science lab AT THE COLLEGE WHERE THEY WORK.

That’s how they got caught, obviously. Someone reported an overwhelming odor emanating from the science lab on October 9th, when it was supposed to be closed. An environmental services company were the ones who knocked, presumably, when they came to campus to ventilate and clean the lab, shutting it down for nearly a month. Tests came back that the odor was caused by Benzyl chloride, which is one of the ingredients in meth.

Apparently it didn’t take the school long to figure it out as the two men were put on administrative leave on the 11th and are now awaiting their court appearances.

These guys may have taken inspiration from the show, but they clearly aren’t as smart as Bryan Cranston’s evil mastermind. I mean, they cooked where they worked. They might not even be as smart as Jesse!

Watch Tom Hanks Learn He’s Actually Related to Mister Rogers

By Mike Julianelle
Tom Hanks Related to Mister Rogers
(Facebook/Access)

Sometimes, you learn something that, at first, seems shocking and bizarre, but then you take a step back and realize that it actually makes perfect sense and you were crazy for not realizing it earlier.

This is one of those things.

If you don’t know, national treasure and America’s Dad Tom Hanks is starring in a new movie about national treasure and America’s Dad Mister Rogers. The movie, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, is about a reporter who is assigned to do a story on Fred Rogers, the children’s TV show host.

It’s based on the real-life experiences of writer Tom Junod, who was writing the story for Esquire magazine. He went into the project cynically and came away convinced, as anyone who grew up watching Mister Rogers already is, that the minister turned television star is the real deal.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

“The most heartfelt and uplifting film of the year.” #ABeautifulDayMovie in theaters November 22.

A post shared by A Beautiful Day Movie (@abeautifuldaymovie) on


If you go back far enough, we’re all related. But that doesn’t make this news any less exciting.

Tom Hanks isn’t actually Mr. Rogers, but he might as well be. He looks like him in the movie, and he seems to act like him in real life, evincing the same kindness to seemingly everyone he meets (check the social media receipts) that the cardigan-wearing host is famous for. Now, after a surprising revelation, we have an actual genetic reason why!

It turns out Hanks and Rogers are actually related! The entertainment show ACCESS confronted the movie star, along with wife Rita Wilson, at the premiere of the film, with the incredible news. The reporter hands the couple a document from Ancestry.com that shows that the two men are 6th cousins, much to Wilson’s astonishment.

The ever-humble Hanks takes it all in stride, saying “It all just comes together.”

The universe works in mysterious, and actually quite logical, ways!

Father Figures: Video Games

By Mike Julianelle

“I’m the single father of two handsome boys and a beautiful girl, the boys with one mom and the girl with another.

We’re apart most of the time so we have to find ways to keep in contact. They say video games are bad for kids and that they need to get outside more but I think we keep missing all the good that they bring.

Me and my kiddos play video games together often – both when they’re with me and when they’re away. All 3 kids are growing up to be very intelligent, they make good decisions, and they are well behaved. Yes, they play video games often, they hop on their phones and they are well connected with all their gadgets… but so am I.

And we share our passions so that they’re not just my kids, but they are my favorite people to be around.

They get along well, they play online together, and when good grades come in, I don’t hesitate to take them to go get that new game.”

– Benjamin Salcedo

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email [email protected]

Check out the previous editions of Father Figures here.

Twitter Remembers the Most Embarrassing Things Their Parents Did

By Jordan Stratton
(Twitter/JessicaRS; Getty/PhotoAlto/Sigrid Olsson)

Parents are embarrassing. It’s a fact of nature.

As you get older, you become more and more secure in who you are and simply stop worrying about some of those silly social norms that used to mean so much. And yes, sometimes this results in the absolute mortification of one’s kids.

Many will even remember these moments for the rest of their lives, which is exactly what Nick Harvey hoped when he posed the question, “What is the most embarrassing thing your parents have ever done in front of you?”

He shared his own to get the conversation rolling:

Nick’s mom strolled down to a bar and dragged him and his hardcore, punk rock persona right out of there in the middle of a show.

While definitely humiliating, others had stories that were even worse, or at least, equally bad. Admittedly, most of them involve fathers.

Some stories initially framed themselves as being embarrassing, but actually turned out to be remarkably sweet.

Do you have a particularly humiliating story from your childhood involving your parents? Have you already gifted your own kids with one?

Hero McDonald’s Worker Admits to Adding Extra Chicken Nugget to Every Box

By Jordan Stratton
Cody Bondarchuk Nugget Hero
(Facebook/Cody Bondarchuk & Getty/picture alliance)

Like a modern-day Robin Hood, an ex McDonald’s employee revealed he put an extra chicken nugget in boxes during his entire tenure at the fast-food chain.

Cody Bondarchuk of Alberta, Canada worked under the golden arches for two-and-a-half years. While not necessarily a noteworthy time, he admitted to willingly breaking company policy for the customers’ benefit, à la chicken nuggz.

Whether they assumed it was a simple mistake or a rebellious act of deep-fried generosity, the sight of an 11th warm, crispy nugget in that 10-piece would surely be enough to brighten anyone’s day.

The fast-food confession is on the verge of passing 80,000 retweets on Twitter and an astounding 900,000 likes, with countless people responding with various forms of praise and hero-worship.

When asked if he had ever received recognition for his acts while at the store, he responded, “The location was mostly drive-thru so not that I can remember, but I’d like to imagine they went home, saw the extra nug, and smiled a little.”

Other folks even chimed in to share their own generous acts of insubordination as employees in the food industry.

One person asked if there is a statute of limitations on ‘grand-theft-nuggets,’ to which Cody expertly responded, “I hope so because I calculated it and I would owe Ronald about $1,600.”

Well, here’s hoping the mighty clown never comes to collect. Cody, our professional nugg-napper, is truly an American, err… Canadian hero.

Toddler And Family Dog Excitedly Greet Dad At Door

By Ted