I’m ready for fall. I’m ready for football and hoodies, I’m ready for colorful leaves and crisp autumn air, and I’m ready to say goodbye to this humidity, and the outrageously expensive electric bill from my constantly running air conditioners.
But I’m not ready for pumpkin spice season.
For one thing, it’s still August! For another, I don’t truck with pumpkin-flavored stuff. I don’t like pumpkin beers, or pumpkin lattes, or pumpkin pie. (I love me some roasted pumpkin seeds but that’s neither here nor there.) If you’re into those things, more power to you. I don’t have a problem with that. Based on sales, and also my Instagram feed, my disdain for the flavor makes me an outlier.
The pumpkin spice market is thriving. The limits are getting pushed and here we are.
According to CNN, Hormel Foods is making limited edition Pumpkin Spice Spam available online via Walmart and Spam.com. To produce their pumpkin spiced product, their proprietary pork isn’t mixed with any actual pumpkin. Instead, they use a mixture of cinnamon, clove, allspice, and nutmeg, which may or may not pair well with your pumpkin spice Starbucks. (Spam apparently recommends topping waffles with the stuff, or mixing it into fall vegetable hash, or baking up some Spam-infused cornbread muffins.) I don’t know what it mixes well with, and I won’t know, because not only do I not drink those, I’ve actually never had Spam.
Maybe I’ll give it a try someday, but if and when I do, you can bet your ass it won’t be the pumpkin spice kind.
For those that do it will be available on September 23.