Swaney was born in California but competed for Team Hungary at the games thanks to her maternal grandmother’s heritage (and she used to compete for Team Venezuela at World Cup events!), though “competed” may be putting it a bit strongly. According to NBC, out of 24 skiers in the women’s half-pipe competition, she finished dead last, her 31.20 a full 40 points behind the the woman in 23rd place.

Her runs on the half-pipe are about as vanilla as it gets, leaving the announcers borderline speechless as she didn’t so much as attempt one trick, content merely to coast up and down the course without falling. Which, to be fair, is probably harder than it looks. It’s just not hard for any of the other competitors in the event.

https://twitter.com/JRnowaUScitizen/status/96568774546416025

Swaney has spent years gallivanting around the globe in an attempt to fulfill a childhood dream of competing in the Olympics, and winning a medal does not seem to have been part of her plan.

She was able to achieve her dream by racking up points at qualifying events and then sliding into one of the 24 quota spots that are capped at 4 per country. So even though a country like the United States had 6 skiers in the top 20 of the qualification standings, those last two were out of luck. Eventually, as athletes pulled out for various reasons, Swaney slid onto the docket.

Then she slowly slid on the half-pipe, to the delight and disdain of those watching.

“That’s right kids, you too can get into the Olympics just like Elizabeth Swaney.

1. Have enough money to travel the world competing in skiing events for 2 years.

2. Make sure the events have less than 30 competitors.

3. Place in the Top 30.”

— #VoteThemOut 202-224-3121 🇺🇸 (@KsKM3) February 19, 2018

There was even a little Hungarian shade:

Hungarian Ski Federation on Elizabeth Swaney:"The situation was mainly caused by the qualification system and few participants. It is a fact that we have not seen Elizabeth in action the last year, we realised her level at the Olympics. She self-funded her preparation&qualifying"

— Gergely Marosi (@emgergo) February 19, 2018

Swaney seems to be a bit of a free-spirit (of a different type than Red Gerard), having run for governor of California at 19, and trying out to for the Oakland Raiders cheerleading squad before ultimately settling on her Olympic quest.

She may not have won a medal, but she definitely accomplished… something.

But that’s the great thing about beer, nay… America. We all have individual tastes. Just because some guy doesn’t share your affinity for a specific brew, that doesn’t mean he’s wrong (even though he is!) It just means you get to connect with someone with a differing perspective, while drinking beer!

So, if you see Jim in a bar, don’t make fun of him for his taste in beer. Instead, buy him a round, and make fun of his age – like an adult.

Cheers, Jim!

He takes a much calmer, more sympathetic approach to parenting than Lois. She has a short fuse, at the end of which is a barrel of dynamite eager to ground someone for the rest of their life. Hal, conversely, seizes any opportunity to bond with his boys by having a sit-down and doling out fatherly words of wisdom.

He’s far more lenient, but will raise his voice and put his foot down when necessary. He’s often creative in his punishments. For example, when Malcolm told him “[bleep] you,” Hal sat him down in the backyard and forced him to look him in the eyes and read aloud a comprehensive list of every vile swear words, teaching him their power.

His biggest strength, however, is his laid-back, often immature attitude. It serves as a refreshing palate cleanser for Lois’ incessant shouting. He is truly the yin to her yang.

DAD WEAKNESSES

He’s more permissive than his wife. In one episode, Hal surprises the boys by letting them skip school to accompany him at some stock car races.

Hal’s lax approach to parenting is, regrettably, his biggest weakness. His spontaneity and often childish behavior sets a bad example for his sons. Case in point: the steamroller. After winning some money on a scratch-off, Hal secretly rents a steamroller.

When Dewey catches him, Hal agrees to let him steamroll over Reese’s bike. Ultimately, Hal goes mad with power and Dewey must talk him down from steamrolling a row of cars. Surely this gave Dewey license to misbehave in the future. His impulsive nature is typically harmless, but still sets precedent for the delinquency of his kids.

VERDICT

Despite shortcomings at the cost of his need to be the parent his sons actually like, Hal is a great father. Sure, all four of his sons are rambunctious hellions, disobedient and destructive at every turn, but that’s predominantly the result of their stubborn, temperamental mother. He’s a big-hearted working stiff, determined to provide for his family however dysfunctional they may be.

FINAL DAD GRADE: A-

It’s been a long journey and no two days are alike. Through it all we’ve learned that Faye is just a younger, female version of her older brother. From her diagnosis, we were able to recognize the ASD traits in Jordan. He is now beginning the diagnostic process.

But long story short, both our girls now attend an autism unit in a special school. It’s a God send and they are both doing great! They turned 6 in August and Jordan will be 11 this December.

Be positive and always make sure your child gets all they need. Raising a child with special needs definitely puts into perspective what’s important in life!

Everything for the kids!”

– Nic Young

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Aside from a small modification to the bike’s seat, he’ll be riding the bike as-is. “My knees clear the handlebars by about half an inch so it’s going to be really tight, but it’s a great bike,” he told the BBC. When he factors in his unique mode of transportation Peter estimates the ride from Bristol to Land’s End will take him a week to complete.

Ellie loved cycling and impressed her dad at age three, when she was able to ride without training wheels.

The bike he’ll be riding was her pride and joy – a present she received for her last Christmas.

So far Peter has raised £23,349 (roughly $30K US) through his JustGiving campaign, already doubling his £10,000 target.

What a guy! What a dad! Go, Peter, go!

If you’d like donate to Peter’s campaign, visit his JustGiving page.

If you want to learn more about where the money is going, check out The Brain Tumour Charity.