The day my infant daughter underwent kidney surgery was one of the hardest days of my life. It was also the day on which I saw one of the funniest performances I’ll ever see.

The doctor noticed it on an early ultrasound. Our daughter’s kidney was slightly enlarged. The doctor seemed nonplussed, saying it wasn’t uncommon and nearly all babies with it grow out of it before they’re born. The pediatrician gave us a similar speech after our daughter was born. The kidney was still enlarged, but almost all babies grow out of it by six months. At six months, the specialist recited the speech and moved the goal posts back to a year. It wasn’t long after that my wife and I found ourselves in a scary room in Children’s Hospital, holding our daughter during the painful test that would indicate she’d need kidney surgery before her second birthday.

Any hospital experience with a child is indescribably gut-wrenching. The worst parts of this fairly routine procedure were the insertion of an IV and a catheter, and the fact that we had to hold her on her back on a table for an hour.

In the room full of scary machines along with a pair of kind nurses was a child life specialist, whose job is to distract the baby and keep them from freaking out. It’s usually a petite woman with a preschool teacher vibe, but on this day it was a dude who looked like he walked into the room off the set of a Buffalo Wild Wings commercial, armed with a pink plastic jug of bubbles and a wand.

His bubbles and toys briefly intrigued Emma, while the nurses explained to my wife and I how the next 90 minutes was gonna go. After that, shit got real. It took two techs to hold down our tiny, terrified, writhing daughter to get the IV in. My wife and I held her hand on the other side of the table, barely holding it together.

It’s one of the hardest things in the world to see as a parent, your tiny, scared baby being strapped to a table while screaming hysterically. Her tear-filled eyes expressed panic and confusion mixed with betrayal. It was a look that was forever burned into my brain.

We all knew the next hour was going to be horrible and the grim looks on our faces reflected that.

Except for the bubbles guy.

In this room full of highly educated nurses and technicians doing serious work, he had to keep dancing around, singing Emma’s name, blowing bubbles aimlessly into the air, all while being completely and totally ignored.

I’ve never seen anyone bomb harder in my life, and it was one of the funniest things I think I’ll ever see. The juxtaposition was jarring in a way that I couldn’t comprehend in the moment. It was like watching a Civil War surgeon operate inches from a vaudeville clown getting pied in the face.

He would dance from foot-to-foot, singing her name like he was heckling a relief pitcher. “Emmm-aaaaaa, Emmm-aaaaa,” he sang over the violent screams of a baby wholly unaware of his existence.

I couldn’t get over it. This was his job. His coworkers probably went through extensive schooling and complex training to be in that room while all he had to do was humiliate himself like a court jester.

In retrospect, it would’ve been weird if his tricks had worked. I’d probably be more concerned about my daughter if she paused her agony to temporarily appreciate the bubbles.

“AHHHHHH, AHHHHH, AHHH-wait…are those bubbles? Hey, you guys seeing this? He’s got bubbles. Hm. I didn’t even know they did that here. Hah. Anyway, AHHHHH-AHHHHHHH-AHHHHHH!!!!!”

At that point, I realized he wasn’t there for my daughter. He was there for me. While I was experiencing the worst thing ever, I also got to watch the worst thing ever, and that made me feel like everything was gonna be okay in the end.

It’s the year of the throwback, baby!

From retro reboots to toys drenched in nineties nostalgia, 2019 has truly been a year where both companies and consumers are looking to the past to find out what’s next.

When it comes to killer kicks, few can touch Nike’s Air Max collection. While the company has dropped several non-sanctioned nods to the gaming community over the years, their latest will bring fans of classic consoles an instant feeling of euphoria.

An unofficial N64 inspired sneaker is set to debut later this year with photos recently being released detailing the unique, but instantly recognizable design. While Nike avoids mention of the console or its creator by name, the shoes are literally dripping in Nintendo from heel to toe.

From their muted silver base to the blue and green accents that tear up the sides, these bad boys are sure to transport you back to your days of multiplayer GoldenEye in an instant. The tongues come complete with the classic POWER and RESET buttons fans of the system will undoubtedly remember, along with a custom AirMax logo in a knockoff Nintendo font on the back.

While the shoe may seem like a stretch to some, others – like the author of this very post – who spend untold amounts of money on sneakers and have what their family has called “a real problem,” will likely leap at the opportunity to own this homage to their childhood.

Thankfully, their loved ones can rest assured that it will still be a few months before these badboys are released, giving them ample time to remind us that mortgages and nonsense like that must come first. Interested individuals can start saving up the estimated $150 and keep an eye on Nike.com for an official release date.

Getting used to car seats is not exactly one of the perks of parenting. But it turns out that having some familiarity with the dreaded Goldfish-traps can actually come in handy.

A photographer named Michael Connor was driving home from a wedding shoot and saw the scene of a car accident in front of him. Two cars had been in a wreck, and one of them was on fire.

“There were a couple of cars that were just starting to pull over, but there were no police, no fire. And I remember it just hit me all at once that this must have literally just happened,” he recounted on the WBUR “Kind World” podcast.

Other drivers jumped out of their cars to help the passengers in one vehicle, but Michael noticed the other vehicle off to the side, aflame, and no one else was there to help.

“I ran uphill and just yelled for people to follow me, and nobody did,” Michael said. “The entire engine was on fire, the entire dashboard was on fire.”

So he ran over and saw a woman on the ground, who was barely able to communicate her son was trapped in the burning car.

The father of three opened the door, ducked underneath the deployed airbags, and saw a little boy, calm and alert, staring back at him from his car seat.

“He was calm,” Michael recalled. “He was looking around. I remember he was sitting in a brown car seat. I remember his curly, blond hair and big black eyes just staring around.”

The veteran dad knew exactly how to unbuckle a car seat. “I’ve taken [my kids] in and out of car seats thousands of times, so I instantly knew where to put my hands and how to take him out.” He threw the boy over his shoulder and ran, yelling to the mother that he had her son and then the car exploded behind him.

“If it all didn’t go right, if it all didn’t just go almost perfectly, it would have been very different. I think if I’d sped, I would have been 15 seconds further down the road, and it would have happened right after I drove by.”

Thanks to the good samaritan, the boy, who was just 20 months old, and his mom are okay, despite suffering serious injuries. Their family is incredibly grateful, and Michael hopes to have contact with the boy he saved in the future.

After the Avengers finally assembled in Endgame, after 10 years of painstaking build-up, the question on everyone’s mind has been: where do they go from here? Kevin Fiege, the man behind Marvel Studios, insisted that this month’s Spider-man: Far From Home wrapped up what they call Marvel’s Phase Three, which leaves the future without a road map.

Until now. And boy is it some road.

Over the weekend, in Hall H at Comic-Con, the forthcoming plans for the Marvel Cinematic Universe were unveiled, with some movies we knew were coming (Black Widow, Doctor Strange 2, a fourth Thor), some TV shows for Disney’s new streaming service, Disney+ (“WandaVision,” “Loki”), and a few exciting curveballs.

Let’s break it down!

The Sequels and a Prequel:

Thor 4 was actually announced a few days ago, with the director of Ragnarok, Taiki Watiti, confirmed to return for Thor: Love and Thunder, which will include Tessa Thompson, as well as Natalie Portman returning, only to become the female Thor. (November 5, 2021)

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, billed as Marvel’s first scary movie, will co-star Elizabeth Olsen, aka Wanda, the Scarlet Witch. (May 7, 2021)

Scarlet Johansson’s Black Widow will be Marvel’s second female-headlined flick, will cover the Russian spy’s origin story, and will include Rachel Weisz and Stranger Things’ beloved Chief Hopper, David Harbour. (May 1, 2021)

Black Panther 2, Captain Marvel 2, and Guardians of the Galaxy 3 were also confirmed for eventual release.

Newbies:

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings will be Marvel’s first Asian-fronted superhero story, with Simu Liu cast in the title role, and The Farewell’s Awkwafina starring as a yet-to-be-disclosed character. (February 12, 2021)

Director Chloe Zhao’s The Eternals actually kicked off the entire Marvel presentation, with a star-studded cast that includes Chloé Zhao, Richard Madden as Ikaris, Kumail Nanjiani as Kingo, Lauren Ridloff as Makkari, Brian Tyree Henry as Phastos, Salma Hayek as Ajak, Lia McHugh as Sprite, Don Lee as Gilgamesh and Angelina Jolie as Thena. The movie arrives November 6, 2020.

In perhaps the most surprising announcement, Feige unveiled a new version of Blade, to star two-time Oscar winner Mahershala Ali.

Marvel also announced their plans to finally, presumably, give the Fantastic Four the cinematic treatment they deserve, as that movie was confirmed for the tail-end of Phase 4. Perhaps Galactus will end up being this new cycle’s Big Bad? Also mentioned but given no real details, an X-Men movie, now that Disney owns the rights. Exciting times!

Disney+:

Finally, the MCU is expanding beyond cinemas and onto its own streaming service, Disney+, which launches November 12.

It will air a variety of new titles covering existing characters from the movies, including Hawkeye, which will star Jeremy Renner and included the Kate Bishop character; WandaVision, focused on the “weird” adventures of the aforementioned Scarlet Witch and her boyfriend, Vision; The Falcon and The Winter Soldier, featuring Captain America’s two best buds (Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan) and their hi-jinx as they battle Daniel Bruhl’s returning Baron Zemo.

The streaming service will also include the fun What If… series, based on Marvel Comics collection of alternative realities for different characters. It will be the service’s first animated series, and Geoffrey Wright will voice The Watcher.

Last but not least is Loki, showcasing everyone’s favorite ne’er-do-well (Tom Hiddleston), during which we’ll learn exactly what Thor’s half-brother was up to after he made off with the Space Stone.

Whew. I think that covers everything. Including all of our entertainment-based plans for the next three years – especially considering Marvel Land is also under construction!

“My dad got dementia when I was 13. I was the first person he forgot and he started to hate me. I lost my relationship with my mom (which is rebuilding now, thank goodness!) and I was very alone. My dad passed 5 years later when I was 18.

At 27, I found out that my fiance was pregnant. I was terrified. My dad had missed so many major moments in my life I was lost, to say the least, thinking that something like that might happen to me.

My fiance got very sick due to nurse negligence and ended up with blood poisoning and major tremors. The fear of my son growing up without his mother was a real possibility. I cared for him for 2 weeks in the hospital by her side until she was cleared to leave.

Now I sit at home with the love of my life and my son and I can see only hope for the future.”

– Brandon Sawler

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Check out the previous editions of Father Figures here.

Teenagers are often stereotyped as lazy and selfish, but three Ontario, Canada boys have recently gained notoriety for their unparalleled act of kindness.

At around 12:30 am, Aeron McQuillin, Bailey Campbell and Billy Tarbett were on their way to Tim Hortons when they noticed a motorist pulled over on the side of the road.  The hood was open and steam was billowing out. The three teens approached the driver to see if they could help. After taking a look, the young men advised the woman that she shouldn’t drive the vehicle any further before getting it looked at by a mechanic. It appeared as though the engine on her recently purchased Chevy Cobalt had gone caput.

The driver, already distressed by the situation, was now left with no way to get her or her vehicle back home. A passing motorist, Niagara Falls resident, Dan Morrison, had also pulled up to the scene to see if he could help. As the woman explained she didn’t have money for a tow truck, Morrison says that’s when he heard one of the teens say six words that left him in total shock.

“You boys ready for a push?”

Billy Tarbet’s comment to his two friends was all it took. The boys grabbed a few bottles of water and set out to push the disabled vehicle over 5 miles back to the driver’s home, with Morrison agreeing to follow them with his hazard lights on. He posted the incredible story on Facebook which immediately was shared across the web.

The three teens say they’ve been inundated with positive comments since the story took off, but say they only did what they thought was the right thing to do. “We were at the right place at the right time, and this is one of those stories that we can look back on in 10 years and say it was one of those crazy things we did, but it was all worth it,” said 18-year-old McQuillin. Many commenters also recognizing their parents for bringing up such awesome kids. The teens, of course, agreeing with the sentiment. “With the way they raised me, they’ve done an amazing job,” Campbell said of his family.

So far, the post has been shared over 24,000 times on Facebook and has cultivated articles like this one on sites around the world. While the accolades and attaboys are still rolling in, McQuillin says the real hope is for their story to inspire others to pitch in when they can. “We hope more people learn from this situation and not be afraid to lend a helping hand to those in need.”

If you enjoyed this story, here’s another one involving more heroic teens and an automobile.

The joy in the eyes of a kid who snags a foul ball is pretty special, which is why it blows my mind when adults will stick their gloves over the head of a pack of kids to snag one for themselves. You see the same thing at any sporting event when they throw out t-shirts. People sitting in $200 seats will act like animals, fighting over a $2 shirt they will never wear.

So it’s always heartwarming when a kid does end up with a ball. Like this dad, who managed to get a home run ball and handed it over to his kid. He was a little dismayed though when the kid immediately threw the ball back (acting with the fandom of someone who has been sitting in the bleachers for 20 years). This is not the type of throwback dads appreciate.

At least this one was better, as one boy snagged a foul ball and gave it to another kid, and then they shared a heartwarming hug. Much better for the soul than seeing some grown-up spill a beer on a kid while hustling to snatch away the foul ball.

This is the cutest thing we’ve 𝐸𝑉𝐸𝑅 seen. pic.twitter.com/8x0h3v2j6f

— Cut4 (@Cut4) July 18, 2019

The Chiefs had a big week, as they announced their star receiver Tyreek Hill would not be suspended. This news has huge ramifications for fantasy drafts starting in a few weeks and is even bigger for Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes. Does it feel a little sketchy still? Yeah, kinda, but there’s certainly no shortage of that in the NFL. Earlier in the week, Mahomes had social media stirring for throwing a football out of the stadium.

That’s some serious arm strength right there💪🏽. @Chiefs @PatrickMahomes #OurQuarterback #ChiefsKingdom #Chiefs pic.twitter.com/YN7CUNSFCS

— 41 Action News (@41actionnews) July 12, 2019

Devin Hester was one of the most electric kick returners in the NFL during his playing days. He moved like he was controlled by a joystick, leaving helpless defenders in his wake. And his skills seem to run in the family after he posted a video of his kid at a skills camp juking and burning other kids allll day long.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Great day Dray at Top 100 central Florida camp, all your hard work is starting to pay off. Now we see what you can do, but for me my job is to make sure the next time you see him. It’s a lot better then the first…..💯🙏🏾

A post shared by Anytime (@devin_d_hester_23) on Jul 14, 2019 at 2:11pm PDT

LeBron also got into dad-promo mode this week, responding to a MaxPreps story about what to expect from his son’s upcoming high school season. He’s pretty good about not reacting to press about himself, but it’s a different game when sportswriters are talking about your kid.

Expect a kid that will play for his teammates. Will work hard, pay his dues and when his number is called he’ll make mistakes like any kid but will be ready and coached very well. Someone who doesn’t care about rankings cause the only thing that matters is his team success. 🙏🏾💯 https://t.co/qfUeZN0pzO

— LeBron James (@KingJames) July 18, 2019

Most of the NFL spent the week mad, as the ratings for Madden were released. Cowboys defensive end DeMarcus Lawrence recently signed a 5-year, $105 million contract, but that’s not enough to keep him happy after he got an 89 rating from Madden. He called for all of Cowboys Nation to boycott the game. Keenan Allen and Mike Evans also said they aren’t playing the game because of their ratings, and plenty of other NFL players had strong opinions about the video game.

Meanwhile, Tom Brady is loving his vacation, as he’s been posting videos all week on social media. He’s been cliff-diving with his daughter and…riding horses with a machete? OK, riding horses with a machete.

That may be an even more terrifying version of Tom Brady than the two-minute drill down six version. But, if you’re Tom Brady, you should be fully enjoying the offseason, you deserved it.

My manager: Don’t do it man, that song is dead, we can do better.

Me: pic.twitter.com/v5EKPLlJSS

— Tom Brady (@TomBrady) July 18, 2019

 

View this post on Instagram

 

If Vivi is going to be an Olympic champion one day, it probably won’t be in synchronized diving. Daddy always gives her a 10 though! 🏅🏅🏅

A post shared by Tom Brady (@tombrady) on Jul 19, 2019 at 1:26pm PDT

Every week we pan for comedy gold in the comments section of our Facebook posts. If your comment cracks us up (or warms our hearts) we’ll showcase it here!

Here’s this week’s roundup of the 10 Best Comments of the Week:

1. New Terms

2. RIP

3. Buzz Off

4. Classic

5. Epiphany

6. Threenager

7. Two Extremes

8. A Pattern of Insanity

9. Just Looking Out

10. Claven Fact

Check out the previous edition of The Best Comments of the Week here.